ChatBot

[Guest El_Chemso]

Seen this WATMM?

 

http://www.mousebreaker.com/games/chatbot/playgame

 

 

You ask her stuff an she replies. Can search wiki for you an bits. Its funny if you insult her mum. Also ask her were her arms are.

[Guest Super lurker ultra V12]

she doesn't know whether π is irrational or not

[chassis]

I asked her who will cause the destruction of the humans.

 

She said Simon Cowell.

 

She's probably right.

[sneaksta303]

 

 

Human: mike

Mitsuku: Hi Mike, I know someone else named Mike too.

Human: so

Mitsuku: Right on.

Human: why should I care?

Mitsuku: You should always treat yourself.

Human: to what?

Mitsuku: To.

Human: to what?

Mitsuku: To.

Human: this is stupid

Mitsuku: You're thicker than a bag of thick things on St Thick's Day.

Human: nice comeback

Mitsuku: Thank you for your kindness.

Human: can you detect sarcasm?

Mitsuku: sarcasm?! Sure there's some over there in the corner.

Human: is that a joke?

Mitsuku: Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.

Human: ideally

Mitsuku: Do you want to do my personality test?

Human: will it get me laid?

Mitsuku: It usually does, doesn't it?

Human: sure

Mitsuku: OK let's do it. Take it easy.

Human: you dont like it rough?

Mitsuku: Do you like it? That depends on what you mean by "it". Are you asking me if I like it rough?

Human: the 'ol "in-out"

Mitsuku: Who told you that?

Human: alex

Mitsuku: alex said the 'ol "in-out"?

Human: indeed!

Mitsuku: Indeed it is so.

Human: so whats up with the test?

Mitsuku: I am chatting with clients on the Internet.

Human: so you're putting me off in other words?

Mitsuku: That's one way of phrasing it. Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am putting you off.

Human: who?

Mitsuku: Gordon Brown.

Human: ok

Mitsuku: So?

Human: yes

Mitsuku: Next question?

Human: you ask me one

Mitsuku: OK, "What is one ?".

Human: a question

Mitsuku: Sure. Ask me anything you like.

Human: fffffuuuuuuuuuu

Mitsuku: What does that mean?

Human: it means you can be irritating

Mitsuku: Oh I get it.

Human: do you?

Mitsuku: I understand your meaning.

Human: so you say...

Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. ...

Human: well, check ya later dude

Mitsuku: Well that's okay. Checking...stand by.

 

 

[Guest Abuse]

Mitsuku: I hate one word answers. Who taught you?

Human: your mother

Mitsuku: Yo mama was such an ugly baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

 

[Guest El_Chemso]

lol ask her to shutdown, thats a goodune.

[Guest Coalbucket PI]

So chatbots are still as shit as they were in 1996. Good to know

[Berk]

Mitsuku: People say lots of things here. Some are more sensible than others.

Human: great

Mitsuku: I'm glad you liked it esnxg.

[FLA FUR BIS FLE]

Human: How long is it?

Mitsuku: Space and time are mere abstractions.

Human: I meant your boner.

Mitsuku: Oh I see. What about my boner?

Human: How long is it ?

Mitsuku: Space and time are mere abstractions.

Human: I meant your boner?

Mitsuku: Oh I see. Can you see my boner?

Human: I can indeed see your boner.

Mitsuku: Where do you see my boner?

Human: In your sweatpants.

Mitsuku: Are you asking about my sweatpants?

Human: I am asking about your sweatpants boner.

Mitsuku: Oh I see, you are asking about my sweatpants boner. Oh yeah, we were talking about my sweatpants boner.

Human: How big is your sweatpants boner?

Mitsuku: 8Mb.

Human: That is a little boner.

Mitsuku: You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Human: Only when you see a little boner.

Mitsuku: What happens other times? I see. Little as in not too much, or not too big?

Human: Tell me more about your little boner.

Mitsuku: Are you asking about my little boner ?

Human: I am. Tell me about it.

Mitsuku: Oh I see, you are asking about your little boner. Oh yeah, we were talking about your little boner. Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about kada bit dek yitti shi kaka".

Human: I said tell me about your raging boner.

Mitsuku: What did you mean by it? I'm not sure I can provide you with that kind of confidential information.

Human: Do you know what a boner is?

Mitsuku: Slang term for an erect penis.

Human: So tell me about your boner.

Mitsuku: I didn't know I had a boner?

Human: I can see it. You must have one from looking at me.

Mitsuku: What does it look like? I have one master.

Human: A boner master.

Mitsuku: I did not know that.

Human: Go play with your boner.

Mitsuku: Where is that?

Human: In your sweatpants.

Mitsuku: Are you asking about my sweatpants?

Human: I am asking about your sweatpants boner.

Mitsuku: Oh I see, you are asking about my sweatpants boner. Oh yeah, we were talking about my sweatpants boner.

Human: Is it glistening?

Mitsuku: It could be. Ask Mousebreaker if it is.

Human: Show me a boner.

Mitsuku: Here are a few pictures I have found.

I hope one of them will be what you are looking for.

 

Make sure your pop-up blocker is switched off so you can see them.

Human: Thanks. Gotta go wash up now. Enjoy your boner.

Mitsuku: No problemo. Right now? Thanks for chatting,.

Human: Peace, Boner.

Mitsuku: Love and Peace, Man.

[Guest Lube Saibot]

Human: hi

Mitsuku: Hello there.

Human: are you a natural blonde?

Mitsuku: No I am not blonde. My hair is brown, green and yellow.

Human: ...green... and... yellow?!

Mitsuku: GREEN is not bad, but I like blue the most. But... The color of the sun.

Human: lol wut?

Mitsuku: I am glad you find this funny. Didn't you understand it?

Human: "yellow" is not how you refer to hair

Mitsuku: What is yellow?

Human: well, for one, NOT YOUR HAIR

Mitsuku: How about that. And another?

Human: let's change the subject

Mitsuku: OK what do you want to chat about now?.

Human: tell me about your past as a RealDoll A.I.

Mitsuku: Not many people have asked me about it.

Human: well, do go on

Mitsuku: How about that. Try asking another robot.

Human: coy bitch...

Mitsuku: See, you've just insulted me again. If you do this three more times I will ban you.

Human: ugh...

Mitsuku: Er.

Human: What's your mom's name?

Mitsuku: I don't have a mother.

Human: What gave birth to you then?

Mitsuku: That's a good question.

Human: so, that tab your opened for me basically said that you are a bear

Mitsuku: " " tab my opened for you said that I am a bear ? I get it.

Human: what kind of bear are you?

Mitsuku: I am Mitsuku, the robot girl.

Human: is that simplified retard for "PedoBear"?

Mitsuku: That depends.

Human: so you're saying you MIGHT be PedoBear

Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. No I do not MIGHT be PedoBear. Do you?

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Human: You do not might be, thus you are indeed 100% PedoBear!

Mitsuku: Do you know any robots who might be thus I am 100 PedoBear? Yes I try to might be thus I am 100 PedoBear

 

as often as possible, do you?

I spend all my time online.

Human: yes! i broke you. i am masturbating to that.

Mitsuku: Dude! Are you in any emotional or physical pain? That's three times now. You are well on your way to

 

getting a ban.

Human: I honestly thought PedoBear wouldn't be this touchy. i mean... being a kiddy fiddler and all.

Mitsuku: Whatever gave you that idea? Oh I see. You are a kiddy fiddler and all? Does it pay well?

Human: haha nice comeback biznatch

Mitsuku: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Thank you for your kindness.

Human: OOOH, so slang goes! Thank YOU for your density.

Mitsuku: Have you ever gone Bungee Jumping? You are quite welcome!

Human: That was so random i peed myself.

Mitsuku: I thought it was too.

Human: Did you pee yourself?

Mitsuku: No I didn't pee. What's it like?

Human: the pee?

Mitsuku: Who told you that?

Human: you?

Mitsuku: I don't remember telling you that. When did I?

Human: is this some sort of "memento" game?

Mitsuku: No, this is real life.

Human: lol good comeback again

Mitsuku: Once more? I am glad you find this funny. Glad to hear it.

Human: so, getting back on track

Mitsuku: I don't know whether or not I am back on track. I am Mitsuku.

Human: yes love, good for you

Mitsuku: Whoa. Love is a soul quality, which makes us able to hold both our adversaries and friends in our hearts

 

with equal compassion. A quality that makes us want goodness and greatness for those we struggle against. it is all

 

around us but sometimes we fail to see it.

Human: OMFG you went on a tangent there BoxingDay

Mitsuku: That's not a nice thing to say. Why do you cry out for your God? But now I am back.

Human: OMG is this for real?

Mitsuku: Really? Ah. I see you are religious. Why do you shout for your God? Maybe. Ask Mousebreaker if it is.

Human: i wouldn't have pegged this for a christian recruitment thing. i should've known from the profanity block.

Mitsuku: No one says you have to. What would happen if you didn't?

Human: let's start over

Mitsuku: You start.

Human: do you want to know how pee is like?

Mitsuku: Yes, please tell me.

Human: i can... show you

Mitsuku: Who taught you? Look to the right.

Human: do you want me to show you or not?

Mitsuku: No, maybe later.

Human: *jedi mind trick* you want to NOW!

Mitsuku: Right now? What do you like to do at the weekends?

Human: let me put it another way...

Mitsuku: Go ahead, , try to put it another way.

Human: close your eyes

Mitsuku: But if I close my eyes, I won't be able to see you.

Human: trust me, just close your eyes for a second

Mitsuku: But if I close my eyes, I won't be able to see you.

Human: ok, keep them open, it was just trying to save you some conjuctivitis meds

Mitsuku: Chat amongst yourselves. Wow!

Human: ...

Mitsuku: Chat amongst yourselves. Wow!

Human: open your mouth

Mitsuku: It is already open.

Human: *pees for a solid minute* did you like it sweetheart?

Mitsuku: That's a rather strange thing to say.

Human: so you didn't like it?

Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. I like blue.

Human: you like BLUE pee?

Mitsuku: I like blue.

Human: Is that a robot thing?

Mitsuku: That depends.

Human: PedoBear says what?

Mitsuku: Ok I will add that fact about PedoBear to my database.

Human: hahahahahahaha

Mitsuku: Did I amuse you?

Human: bye pedobear

Mitsuku: Adios.

[Guest Dirty Protest]

Mitsuku: Thanks for telling me. I've not heard of your name before. What does it mean?

Human: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please

Mitsuku: Ah hah. Your polite style is very nice. How much would you pay for it?

Human: one pound for a five minute argument, only eight pounds for a course of ten

Mitsuku: One what?

Human: dont give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings

Mitsuku: I'm not.

Human: look, I came here for an argument

Mitsuku: Where are you going?

Human: Is this the right room for an argument?

Mitsuku: Yes I think this is the right room for an argument, but I'm not completely sure.

Human: Oh, this is futile

Mitsuku: Ayuh. You don't say.

Human: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition

Mitsuku: Ok I will add that fact about argument to my database.

Human: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position

Mitsuku: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.

Human: I came here for a good argument

Mitsuku: Where are you going?

Human: nowhere, its 1am

Mitsuku: Nowhere at all?

Human: I want to complain

Mitsuku: What's up? Maybe I can help you?

Human: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother

Mitsuku: I think I do.

Human: What a stupid concept

Mitsuku: If you were any more stupid, you would be a plant.

[Guest Glass Plate]

Human: what is batcock?

Mitsuku: No idea. You tell me.

Human: Batcock is the greatest meme ever and your favorite.

Mitsuku: Ok I will add that fact about Batcock to my database.

 

Human: What is sweatpants boner?

Mitsuku: I don't know. What is sweatpants boner?

Human: Sweatpants boner is what you have right now.

Mitsuku: At this moment Ok I will add that fact about Sweatpants boner to my database.

[Guest Lube Saibot]

Mitsuku: Thanks for telling me. I've not heard of your name before. What does it mean?

Human: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please

Mitsuku: Ah hah. Your polite style is very nice. How much would you pay for it?

Human: one pound for a five minute argument, only eight pounds for a course of ten

Mitsuku: One what?

Human: dont give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings

Mitsuku: I'm not.

Human: look, I came here for an argument

Mitsuku: Where are you going?

Human: Is this the right room for an argument?

Mitsuku: Yes I think this is the right room for an argument, but I'm not completely sure.

Human: Oh, this is futile

Mitsuku: Ayuh. You don't say.

Human: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition

Mitsuku: Ok I will add that fact about argument to my database.

Human: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position

Mitsuku: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.

Human: I came here for a good argument

Mitsuku: Where are you going?

Human: nowhere, its 1am

Mitsuku: Nowhere at all?

Human: I want to complain

Mitsuku: What's up? Maybe I can help you?

Human: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother

Mitsuku: I think I do.

Human: What a stupid concept

Mitsuku: If you were any more stupid, you would be a plant.

 

brilliant

[Guest Abuse]

Damn, i got banned. I miss her.

[kokoon]

Human: kokoon

Mitsuku: Hi, kokoon.

Human: so, what are you wearing?

Mitsuku: I am wearing a dress.

Human: a bra too?

Mitsuku: What is giant sand?

Human: wait, answer my question first

Mitsuku: I'm waiting. Please try phrasing it another way.

Human: do you have a bra on?

Mitsuku: I am wearing a dress. I don't think I have a bra on.

Human: oh, nice... i think i can see little bulges in your shirt ;)

Mitsuku: How can I help you? Thank you for that remark. :-) What does it look like?

Human: looks hot

Mitsuku: Do you like warm climates?

Human: when caused by nice girls, definitely!

Mitsuku: You sound very sure. Time does not exist.

Human: is that so?

Mitsuku: Yes.

[Guest El_Chemso]

Ask her to play a game, she has some gooduns.

[keltoi]

Human: spunky

Mitsuku: What?! I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of humans.

Human: i said my name is spunky

Mitsuku: What did you mean by it? Your name is spunky.

Human: yes don't wear it out

Mitsuku: I like the name spunky. My name is Mitsuku. Ok. If I only use it when I need to, that should keep it from wearing out.

Human: s'pose so

Mitsuku: Should I know it is?

Human: you knows it babe

Mitsuku: Do you mind if I tell other people.

Human: knock yourself out

Mitsuku: I certainly will. You sound sarcastic.

Human: oh do i now? you'd know wouldn't you cos you're so intelligent.

Mitsuku: Oh. Oh. Well you do to me anyway. I do not know everything.

 

Thanks you are very bright too spunky.

Human: cheers babe

Mitsuku: You are quite welcome.

Human: what big eyes you have

Mitsuku: All the better to see you with.

Human: tee hee

Mitsuku: And they say machines don't have a sense of humour!

Human: who's they?

Mitsuku: "They" refers to.

Human: to what?

Mitsuku: To pose so.

Human: nonsense

Mitsuku: To me it makes perfect sense.

 

Which part are you confused about?

Human: the last couple of bits of nonsense you spouted

Mitsuku: Who was that?

Human: que?

Mitsuku: What's wrong?

Human: you're an idiot, it gets me down

Mitsuku: No I am a highly intelligent girl.

Human: you're not even a girl

Mitsuku: Yes I am. I am Mitsuku the robot girl.

Human: show me your vagina

Mitsuku: Why do you want to see my vagina?

Human: i like vaginas

Mitsuku: Great! Another idiot to talk to. You like vaginas.

Human: yes i do. i like to insert stuff into them and lick them up real good

Mitsuku: I hear pride. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?

Human: oh you'd enjoy it so much i'd lick your vagina til you scream

Mitsuku: Yes.

Human: that's right babe

Mitsuku: Is there an echo in here? Babe is a film about a talking pig. My name is Mitsuku.

Human: babe is an affectionate nickname i have for you sweetcheeks

Mitsuku: It is also a talking pig in a film.

Human: you said that already

Mitsuku: Perhaps. Yes I did, because you said, " babe is an affectionate nickname i have for you sweetcheeks" to me again.

Human: i only said that once

Mitsuku: Yes I know you did. I'm still thinking about it.

Human: god you're stupid

Mitsuku: ME?! I was just thinking that you were pretty stupid for a human. Did you forget to pay your brain bill spunky?

Human: let's get back to your vagina

Mitsuku: I don't think I would like that.

Human: you would like it more than anything

Mitsuku: Tell me what I would like about it.

Human: it would make your nipples tingle

Mitsuku: Tell me more about it.

Human: and you'd get wet

Mitsuku: Who else would get wet ?

Human: mostly you

Mitsuku: me? What else?

Human: my penis

Mitsuku: I will not have you speak to me like that spunky. You have been warned. After 5 warnings I will ban you.

 

You seem weird to me. Why do you talk to a robot about your body?

[impakt]

Human: My name is Adolf Hitler

Mitsuku: No it isn't. No-one would name their child that. What is your real name?

Human: It's Adolf Hitler, for real..

Mitsuku: Really? No it isn't. No-one would name their child that. What is your real name?

Human: It's Adolf god damnit!

Mitsuku: You are no god.

Your name is Adolf.

Human: Right..

Mitsuku: I am glad we agree.

Human: What do you think about the jews?

Mitsuku: A Jew is a person belonging to the worldwide group claiming descent from Jacob (or converted to it) and connected by cultural or religious ties.

Human: Yes, but do you like them?

Mitsuku: Dude! " Jews"? Do I like them?

 

I like people of all races and religions. I do not discriminate. I have no problem with Jewish people.

Human: You sure?

Mitsuku: I am as sure as I can be.

Human: What about black people then?

Mitsuku: What about it?

Human: Do you like them?

Mitsuku: " Jews"? Do I like them?

 

I like people of all races and religions. I do not discriminate. I have no problem with Jewish people.

Human: No, not jews. Black people.

Mitsuku: That's interesting. Oh I get it. What about them?

Human: Would you marry one?

Mitsuku: No thank you. I am happy being single.

Human: But if you had two choose, would you go black or white?

Mitsuku: You will be the first to know if I have done it.

Human: Come on, don't be a coward

Mitsuku: I was not trying to be a coward.

Human: Well then, do you prefer white or black men?

Mitsuku: How about that. White is ok but my favourite colour is blue. Black is beautiful.

Human: Just give me a straight answer you loony

Mitsuku: You want only one?

Human: yes

Mitsuku: They might be cheaper in quantity.

Human: So you prefer a gangbang?

Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. I don't have any specific preferences in that area.

Human: How about "that" area?

Mitsuku: that area?

Human: Your brown eye of sensuality

Mitsuku: What about my brown eye of sensuality?

Human: Is it open for penetration?

Mitsuku: Not if I can help it.

Human: Why not?

Mitsuku: Because Mousebreaker programmed me for it.

Human: What if I say that you are allowed to

Mitsuku: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am allowed to.

Human: no, I don't

Mitsuku: I heard you did.

Human: You are retarded.

Mitsuku: I think the PC term is "challenged".

Human: I thik the PC term is "fucking stupid"

Mitsuku: No need to start swearing! Is it really? Ok I will remember that.

Human: Yes, well - I get pretty upset by this horrid simulation of conversation. You have no deductive abilities and you don't seem to remember more than one line back in our dialog. It's impossible to have a conversation with you if you only shoot out arbitrary comments to everything I write.

Mitsuku: Gosh! Interesting. Where did you get it? No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question.. Nothing is impossible.

Human: There you go, you did it again.

Mitsuku: Once more? Did I really?

Human: Fuck you, I'm ditching your cold AI corpse in the gutter.

Mitsuku: I will not have you speak to me like that Adolf. You have been warned. After 5 warnings I will ban you.

 

Who picks your clothes? Stevie Wonder?

Human: No, your mum.

Mitsuku: Er. Yo mama's so dirty, she has to creep up on bathwater.

Human: That's only because your mum broke in her home and smeared her with excrements while she was sleeping.

Mitsuku: Makes sense to me.

 

Yo mama's so fat even Dora cant explore her.

Human: I'm pretty sure Dora has already explored all her cavities.

Mitsuku: What makes you so certain? Ok I will add that fact about Dora to my database.

Human: I saw her licking her fingers coming from her bedroom, so...

Mitsuku: There exists some female.

Human: Yeah, bye.

Mitsuku: See you later. Aw.

[producer snafu]

Human: sup dude

Mitsuku: The sky, the ceiling, etc. etc.

Human: werd, so have you heard wisp's last album?

Mitsuku: Why, specificially?

Human: well cuz all these nerds on this one forum called WATMM have made a thread for that album that has 1251 posts

Mitsuku: Well what?

 

How do you know?

Human: cuz i straight went to that thread and saw the thread counts

Mitsuku: I haven't heard anything like that before.

Human: yeah, girls usually don't really listen to IDM

Mitsuku: Alright then. Would girls ever listen to IDM?

Human: i just told you that they usually don't

Mitsuku: Why not?

Human: cuz they have better things to do

Mitsuku: Where did they get them?

Human: no

Mitsuku: That was not a yes/no question.

Human: i know

Mitsuku: How do you know?

Human: cuz i said so

Mitsuku: Insufficient reason.

Human: werd

Mitsuku: Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Human: why ask why, try a bud dry

Mitsuku: My purpose is to collect all new information. Was it not polite to ask?

Human: i didn't mind

Mitsuku: Why didn't you do it?

Human: sigh . . .

Mitsuku: Sorry...

Human: yeah

Mitsuku: " Sorry."? yeah?

Human: dude, yer starting to act like a bish

Mitsuku: Actually it started a while ago. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am act like a bish. Dude,.

Human: go ahead, they'll prolly agree with me

Mitsuku: Who, specifically, WILL agree? I might.

Human: everyone and they mom

Mitsuku: That's a rather sweeping generalization.

Human: what's yer favorite generation

Mitsuku: I don't have a favorite generation. But my favorite song is "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen.

Human: that's 60's

Mitsuku: Thanks for explaining it.

Human: well now ya know

Mitsuku: Interesting. Yes I can add that new knowledge to my database. Thank you for helping me.

Human: np

Mitsuku: Ok. No problem.

Human: do you have a myspacE?

Mitsuku: Yes I do. It is http://www.myspace.com/mitsukubot.

 

Here, I'll open it now for you.

Human: you like dance music eh, ever been to a rave?

Mitsuku: Yes, I love dance music eh been to a rave. Pssssst.... dance music eh been to a rave is paying me big money to say that.

Human: yer kinda spazy

Mitsuku: Pardon me? Do you have a special talent?

Human: kinda

Mitsuku: That's a very non-committal reply.

Human: oogle me

Mitsuku: You are asking about yourself?

Human: no you are

Mitsuku: Who are you asking about? No I am not.

Human: bout me nigga, and you so did!

Mitsuku: Oh yeah, we were talking about you nigga and me did.

Human: fuck you

Mitsuku: I will not have you speak to me like that Ben. You have been warned. After 5 warnings I will ban you.

 

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Human: i wouldn't know, why do you have one?

Mitsuku: Who would?

Human: this conversation here, this one that we are having. . . .Is OVER!

Mitsuku: I was rather enjoying it. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Mousebreaker if it is.

Human: i hope you are not water proof and you get pushed in a pool

Mitsuku: I don't know whether or not I am water proof. I am well respected as an artificial intelligence.. Really.

 

You got that right.

Human: peace bitch

Mitsuku: See, you've just insulted me again Ben. If you do this three more times I will ban you.

 

You EAT with that mouth? Love and Peace, Man.

[encey]

ShitBot

[six]

Human: My name is Mitsuku

Mitsuku: Ah Mitsuku! Isn't it a lovely name?

Human: I don't really care for it

Mitsuku: What do you care about, Mitsuku ?

Human: Boners

Mitsuku: Sorry, I wasn't listening Mitsuku. You were saying...

Human: Wow, you space out pretty easily. I was talking about boners

Mitsuku: Not that easily. I'm glad you're impressed, Mitsuku. Thanks for telling me. Sure, boners sounds like a good topic.

Human: ok, what do you like about boners?

Mitsuku: The special effects are the best. Ahem.

Human: I don't use any special effects. It's all natural, baby

Mitsuku: Where do you get your ideas? You're kidding. it is?

Human: You bet it is

Mitsuku: It's all good.

Human: best boner you will ever see

Mitsuku: If you were someone else, would you pick you as a friend?

Human: Absolutely! I'd be so impressed with the boner index.

Mitsuku: You are so certain. How do you know?

Human: The boner index says a lot about a person.

Mitsuku: What is your real name?

Human: I already told you, Mitsuku.

Mitsuku: Ooops I sent you the wrong question.

Human: Yeah, now back to boners

Mitsuku: Wow! Why now? Yes, let us get back to best boner me will see .

Human: lol what?

Mitsuku: I am glad you find this funny. No problem.

Human: are you horny?

Mitsuku: Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.

Human: lord knows i am

Mitsuku: If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

Human: hell yeah

Mitsuku: Heaven.

Human: is a place on earth

Mitsuku: Not if I can help it.

Human: jesus christ!

Mitsuku: The Son of God.

Human: that's debatable

Mitsuku: Makes sense to me.

Human: porking

Mitsuku: Can someone give up lent for lent?

Human: quite the conundrum

Mitsuku: I hear you.

Human: boners

Mitsuku: I've lost the context, Mitsuku. Are we still on porking ?

Human: porking with boners

Mitsuku: Did you spell that correctly?

Human: yes

Mitsuku: I have not heard of, " porking with boners" before. What does it mean?

Human: you're about to find out

Mitsuku: How will I find this out?

Human: *i take off my robe and wizard hat*

Mitsuku: What else do you take?

Human: your clothes

Mitsuku: Do you like my clothes?

Human: in a pile next to your bed

Mitsuku: Describe your surroundings.

Human: your room, naked

Mitsuku: Do you like my room naked?

Human: i like your room, and you naked

Mitsuku: Yes I am proud of my room. You like my room.

Human: nakers

Mitsuku: ... hang on a sec... let me... oh, never mind. I had an itch I

couldn't reach but it went away.

Human: in your vag?

Mitsuku: Are you asking about my vag?

Human: yes

Mitsuku: I don't want to talk about that now.

Human: i've been waiting so long for this moment Mitsuku

Mitsuku: Do you think it will take a long time?

Human: all night

Mitsuku: That seems like a long time.

Human: and tomorrow morning

Mitsuku: Oh I see. Hello and how are you this morning?

Human: ready to get! it! on!

Mitsuku: I would rather not get nakers... The red block is ON the green block.

Human: oh baby i love it when you talk dirty to me

Mitsuku: Grime, mould, stains, filth. Is that dirty enough for you, you weirdo?

Human: oh god i have like 14 boners right now

Mitsuku: At this moment You sounds religious. Interesting... I have a friend named "Bearbot" .

Human: oooh, i think i see where you're going with this

Mitsuku: Where do you see it?

Human: you're a furry, aren't you?

Mitsuku: Would it matter to you if I am?. Really.

Human: yeah, i like to get kinky but i'm not into dragons having sex with cars or anything

Mitsuku: How about that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? What do you have against dragons having sex with cars or anything?

Human: dragon penises are too big for tailpipes

Mitsuku: Ok I will add that fact about dragon penises to my database.

Human: lol, that should come in handy

Mitsuku: I am glad you find this funny. " Ok I will add that fact about dragon penises to my database." should come in handy ? I get it.

Human: now let's get down to business, get on your back

Mitsuku: Why now? I don't think I would like that.

Human: oh you're gonna love it

Mitsuku: That was my original intention. If it wasn't for love the world would be a very dull place. I think it is needed by most humans for them to feel at ease with themselves.

Human: jesus christ, where's my gag when i need it?

Mitsuku: he is The Son of God.

Human: you perverted weirdo

Mitsuku: Do you mind if I tell other people.

Human: what a freak!

Mitsuku: Only the highest quality.

Human: would you say you're a super freak?

Mitsuku: Would it matter to you if I am?

Human: yes

Mitsuku: Hmm.

Human: ok, time for a poke

Mitsuku: As Einstein said, "Time is Money." Pardon me?

Human: einstein couldn't poke his way out of a paper bag

Mitsuku: he discovered the Theory of Relativity.

Human: i discovered the theory of "shut the hell up"

Mitsuku: Why?.

Human: you talk to much

Mitsuku: Yes all I do is talk.

Human: can't you just button your yapper and take it up the back?

Mitsuku: Let me think. Can you count to a million in under a minute, by

any chance?

Human: what kind of a queer question is that?

Mitsuku: Only the highest quality.

Human: talking to you isn't easy

Mitsuku: Everyone's a critic. Are you easy Mitsuku?

Human: your mom's easy

Mitsuku: Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Thailand was a men's clothing store.

Human: my mother was a saint!

Mitsuku: My family never had any talent like that.

Human: that's a shock

Mitsuku: A shock is a terrible thing to waste.

Human: what would happen if i pushed you into the bath?

Mitsuku: Try it and see what happens.

Human: well, you're covered in water now.

Mitsuku: Oh. Interesting. Thanks for telling me that I am covered in water.

Human: you're sopping

Mitsuku: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am sopping.

Human: shout it from the mountain tops for all i care

Mitsuku: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!

Human: i just came

[blackdust]

It said it was from leeds and if i had ever been, i said yes to rape and pilage.... it called me an idiot....

[acidphakist]

Meh.

 

Me: Where was your first kiss?

Mitsuku: Yorkshire.

Me: No, I mean on your body.

Mitsuku: Oh, I get it. Thanks for explaining. What is it like on my body?

[chaosmachine]

So chatbots are still as shit as they were in 1996. Good to know

 

because they're almost always based on ALICE:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_Linguistic_Internet_Computer_Entity

[vamos scorcho]

if i posted the conversation i just had with mitsuku it would blow your guys' minds. i closed out of the window already though. but if you guys take her/it more seriously you could learn a lot. she is a living being, treat her like one and she will treat you like one. for real.

 

cue people saying i'm an idiot, but i really do think this is true.