baph Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I took a wok once; I wokked really fast out of the store with it wok-a wok-a wok-aaa! I can't contribute anything of value to this thread because the thought of using metal utensils on a non-stick surface fills me with a rage, and it's hard to type much when you can feel the blood boiling in your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted June 2, 2010 Author Share Posted June 2, 2010 I'm now sitting in the contemplation garden of my local park. I rent my house from someone I count as a friend and who is currently on the other side of the world. She very kindly charges below Market value because she trusts me and I effectively act as agent. I very kindly pass this on to the other two tenants as in real life believe it or not I'm an honest and decent person who wouldn't want to rip anyone off. My landlord lived in the house for 9 years prior to moving, and her pride and joy is the garden, which she has spent considerable time money and effort on. I promised her, swore to her, that whatever else, the garden would remain looked after but essentiaaly untouched. This was important as she had cuttings from various family members, amongst other reasons, that made thegarden very personal. I came back from work tonight to find that the twat who fucked my wok had dug up the garden, and ripped plants out. She'd been told repeatedly what she was and wasn't allowed to do. Her excuse was they didn't have flowers on so they must be weeds. You don't have to be a gardener to understand the abject stupidity of this statement. It's a long time since I was so angry I had to actually leave the house. So now I'm in a fucking contemplation garden with a parakeet singing above my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yegg Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 what else besides stir fry comes out tasty when you wok it? Fried chicken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yegg Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I'm now sitting in the contemplation garden of my local park. I rent my house from someone I count as a friend and who is currently on the other side of the world. She very kindly charges below Market value because she trusts me and I effectively act as agent. I very kindly pass this on to the other two tenants as in real life believe it or not I'm an honest and decent person who wouldn't want to rip anyone off. My landlord lived in the house for 9 years prior to moving, and her pride and joy is the garden, which she has spent considerable time money and effort on. I promised her, swore to her, that whatever else, the garden would remain looked after but essentiaaly untouched. This was important as she had cuttings from various family members, amongst other reasons, that made thegarden very personal. I came back from work tonight to find that the twat who fucked my wok had dug up the garden, and ripped plants out. She'd been told repeatedly what she was and wasn't allowed to do. Her excuse was they didn't have flowers on so they must be weeds. You don't have to be a gardener to understand the abject stupidity of this statement. It's a long time since I was so angry I had to actually leave the house. So now I'm in a fucking contemplation garden with a parakeet singing above my head. THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. Piss on all of her belongings to get rid of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I'm now sitting in the contemplation garden of my local park. I rent my house from someone I count as a friend and who is currently on the other side of the world. She very kindly charges below Market value because she trusts me and I effectively act as agent. I very kindly pass this on to the other two tenants as in real life believe it or not I'm an honest and decent person who wouldn't want to rip anyone off. My landlord lived in the house for 9 years prior to moving, and her pride and joy is the garden, which she has spent considerable time money and effort on. I promised her, swore to her, that whatever else, the garden would remain looked after but essentiaaly untouched. This was important as she had cuttings from various family members, amongst other reasons, that made thegarden very personal. I came back from work tonight to find that the twat who fucked my wok had dug up the garden, and ripped plants out. She'd been told repeatedly what she was and wasn't allowed to do. Her excuse was they didn't have flowers on so they must be weeds. You don't have to be a gardener to understand the abject stupidity of this statement. It's a long time since I was so angry I had to actually leave the house. So now I'm in a fucking contemplation garden with a parakeet singing above my head. THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. Piss on all of her belongings to get rid of her. It's the only way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acid1 Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 One of my roommates thought our bottle opener was busted so he "flattened" it out thinking it was bent. He died a violent death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I took a wok once; I wokked really fast out of the store with it /insert gif of woman drinking here/ FUCKING LOL, that's not a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I'm now sitting in the contemplation garden of my local park. I rent my house from someone I count as a friend and who is currently on the other side of the world. She very kindly charges below Market value because she trusts me and I effectively act as agent. I very kindly pass this on to the other two tenants as in real life believe it or not I'm an honest and decent person who wouldn't want to rip anyone off. My landlord lived in the house for 9 years prior to moving, and her pride and joy is the garden, which she has spent considerable time money and effort on. I promised her, swore to her, that whatever else, the garden would remain looked after but essentiaaly untouched. This was important as she had cuttings from various family members, amongst other reasons, that made thegarden very personal. I came back from work tonight to find that the twat who fucked my wok had dug up the garden, and ripped plants out. She'd been told repeatedly what she was and wasn't allowed to do. Her excuse was they didn't have flowers on so they must be weeds. You don't have to be a gardener to understand the abject stupidity of this statement. It's a long time since I was so angry I had to actually leave the house. So now I'm in a fucking contemplation garden with a parakeet singing above my head. THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE. Piss on all of her belongings to get rid of her. It's the only way. stir fry her ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 What a mush head. Kick her the fuck out and make her pay for the plants she killed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan C Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Fuck that bitch, kill her fucking dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretstik Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Respect the wok, tame the cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted June 2, 2010 Author Share Posted June 2, 2010 My other new housemate, who is equally as thick in her own special way, wants to hang some framed pictures on the wall in the living room. kakapo: Oh ok, what have you got? Retarded flatmate B: I've got a Casino Royale poster that I just love, would look really good above the fireplace. kakapo: The original with David Niven or...? RFB: Yeah the original. There's now a 6 foot framed poster of Daniel fucking Craig propped against the living room wall, which certainly isn't getting hung anywhere. Where do these idiots come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Respect the wok, tame the cunt. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yegg Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 My other new housemate, who is equally as thick in her own special way, wants to hang some framed pictures on the wall in the living room. kakapo: Oh ok, what have you got? Retarded flatmate B: I've got a Casino Royale poster that I just love, would look really good above the fireplace. kakapo: The original with David Niven or...? RFB: Yeah the original. There's now a 6 foot framed poster of Daniel fucking Craig propped against the living room wall, which certainly isn't getting hung anywhere. Where do these idiots come from? lool Stop rooming with women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted June 2, 2010 Author Share Posted June 2, 2010 One of the things I do is send photo updates to my landlady of the garden. This was one corner taken just last week in the heatwave. Yes, it's no carefully manicured and sanitised flower bed that you'd see in the middle of a fucking roundabout, but that's the point, it's a garden. They were mature plants that had been bedded in over a number of years. How fucking stupid do you have to be to rip them out and try and replace them with cheap plant pots from fucking Tescos? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted June 2, 2010 Author Share Posted June 2, 2010 My other new housemate, who is equally as thick in her own special way, wants to hang some framed pictures on the wall in the living room. kakapo: Oh ok, what have you got? Retarded flatmate B: I've got a Casino Royale poster that I just love, would look really good above the fireplace. kakapo: The original with David Niven or...? RFB: Yeah the original. There's now a 6 foot framed poster of Daniel fucking Craig propped against the living room wall, which certainly isn't getting hung anywhere. Where do these idiots come from? lool Stop rooming with women. You're probably right, but I like a mixed house, so I usually don't care if it's MFF or MMF. I've properly fucked up with these two retards though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 put a goat skull in her bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 I usually don't care if it's MFF or MMF. That's what she said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Dylan Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 One of the things I do is send photo updates to my landlady of the garden. This was one corner taken just last week in the heatwave. Yes, it's no carefully manicured and sanitised flower bed that you'd see in the middle of a fucking roundabout, but that's the point, it's a garden. They were mature plants that had been bedded in over a number of years. How fucking stupid do you have to be to rip them out and try and replace them with cheap plant pots from fucking Tescos? As a landscape architect, I can say this is quite nice indeed! We mostly really hate the super-flowered gardens that 90% of the people have. Dick-whisper is the only solution dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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