keltoi Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 i seem to block the work toilet every other day but almost never at home. the work toilet is through the wall from the office and my workmates must hear me flushing 3 times and think i'm some kind of animal. the water fills up to the underside of the rim and i have to hack my shit up with the brush til it retreats and flush again. then i have to flush once more to rinse the brush, wash away all the broken TP and stubborn shit particles. i return sheepishly to my desk and get on with my work. it's strange cos it's one of those high level thunder buster cisterns with such a powerful flush that sometimes water sprays out of the toilet when you flush... it's like a built-in bidet if you forget to stand up before you flush. maybe it's the fancy expensive quilted paper we use here? NSFW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Member Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 jesus fucking crist, I just lost my job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gary C Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 I almost managed to block the toilet at girlfriend's mother's house this weekend. I had just been for a massive Chinese meal and had needed a shit before that anyway. It was pretty brutal. Mostly one long log. I flushed hopefully. I turned in horror to see my huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. Still there, stuffed into the base of the toilet. I had time to groan and quickly scan the room for a plunger. Even considered that I may have to use my hand if this was now the situation. Luckily a late surge in pressure bubbled through the toilet paper and whipped my poo blanket out into the night. Crisis averted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 22, 2010 Author Share Posted November 22, 2010 jesus fucking crist, I just lost my job. you not allowed to view large poops while at work? ps. i love that picture so much i might get a tattoo of it on my lower back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blanket Fort Collapse Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 Had a friend was skinny as fuck (not so much anymore), ate like a horse and was notoriously infamous for clogging toilets with his monstrosity poops alone. (no ass paper required) He would be like yo I hope you got a plunger this ones another clogger and his warnings were rarely ever wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdust Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 Haha not the best thread to be reading on my dinner break, altho i feel your pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azatoth Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 This happens maybe once or twice a year. It makes me feel proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eaw Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 I blocked thehauntingsoul's toilet once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 22, 2010 Author Share Posted November 22, 2010 ew eaw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehauntingsoul Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 lol true story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 Coincidentally, I had to call a plumbing service to have our home's main line (4" diameter pipe leading to the main sewer from the house) drain snaked out due to blockage. Make of that what you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coalbucket PI Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 I eat bran flakes for breakfast so my shits are beautiful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 bloody hell, eat less and eat right keltoi, you're clearly doing your body no favours. + where's the NSFW, can someone retro fit it plz. I'd don't think i've ever been so grossed out by watmm, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 I blocked thehauntingsoul's toilet once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Adjective Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 you should try kegeling your poop into manageable morse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AcrossCanyons Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 My diet is horrible because I live a lifestyle where I'll often skip meals and when I do eat at regular intervals it's because I'm out and stoned and I'll eat 15 KFCs a day, but this never happens to me. Can't imagine what shit you're eating to block the toilet so often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spratters Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 I must say I've never blocked a toilet. Or felt the need to pick up my dump and take a picture of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessier Ashpool Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 lol How poignant. For the first time in a while I blocked up the toilet at home this morning before coming into work. Not so much size of specimen (less that 5 Courics) but more quantity. It had just the right consistency to gel together, along with the massive quantities of TP needed over multiple rounds, to really stick in there and back it up. *pauses to consider* You know, I've been trying to not courtesy flush lately as the missus says that it wastes water. Maybe I'll just leave the clog in there next time as my counter argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest morphis2525 Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 one of the great thinks about being a heavy drinker is always soft poo poo!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 once a year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted November 22, 2010 Author Share Posted November 22, 2010 bloody hell, eat less and eat right keltoi, you're clearly doing your body no favours. see i eat pretty healthy. in fact my eating habits are probably the healthiest thing about my lifestyle. i think the problem is with the high level cistern creating such an immediate blast of water rather than a continuous torrent so my shitpile just gets rammed into the neck of the u-bend in one go. this and the overly expensive quilted tp my boss gets in. BP should have got me round to sort out that oil leak! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 yeah, crap toilets should be banned, you'd think that we'd know the perfect engineering by now, and so any companies that go off and make something inferior get de-registered from the Master Flushers Association. twas a wide poo though. + now we know what a scotsman keeps under heez kilt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 lol at 5 months late joke about BP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyrex Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 yeah, crap toilets should be banned, you'd think that we'd know the perfect engineering by now, and so any companies that go off and make something inferior get de-registered from the Master Flushers Association. twas a wide poo though. + now we know what a scotsman keeps under heez kilt. Ha, that's nothing - in the US (dunno about other countries), we have these new "dual flush" toilets that, depending on what you've just done, you can choose one of two buttons to flush and will use the appropriate water amount. Hell, for obese Americans and their terrible diets (or Power Shitters™ like Keltoi), they should have a third button labeled "massive dump" and have it dump 4 liters via a high-powered jetstream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retape Posted November 22, 2010 Share Posted November 22, 2010 try this: flush once when you're halfway through shitting, then a second time when you're completely done. that's 2 flushes vs. 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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