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LOL Alzado

Knob Twiddlers
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LOL Alzado last won the day on June 30 2009

LOL Alzado had the most liked content!

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About LOL Alzado

  • Rank
    finger > sphincter > smile
  • Birthday 03/25/1975

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    United States

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5860 profile views
  1. I just want to thank you all for the lovely PMs, text messages and hand written letters. It's really been amazing to receive such an unexpected outpouring of support. Had I known that so many of you are also creating poorly lit videos and images of your own strangled balls, I might not have beaten myself up so much. And while I have always, and you guys know this, appreciated the beauty of each individual ballsack without the need to compare or judge, I will say that @chenGODshould really see a doctor. I'm worried that that sore will not go away by itself.
  2. Look, it's a fucking pandemic and we're all on edge. We should all be a little more forgiving. But honestly guys, I'm not sure I can recover from this one. You know how you start a Facebook Live to show your family what kind of fly shit you're up to? Like juggling soaps, braiding loose dog hairs, or just generally strutting around in your robe like you're the king of Atlantic City? Well today, I was setting up my lighting and tri-pod to do the Facebook Live and I absolutely forgot that I had twisted like 70 rubberbands around my balls as tight as they could go and I was obviously walking around with no pants on just to let them throb and swell. The pain was murder, but you guys know how you get to a certain point and you just cant stop. Anyway, I didn't realize that I was already live on Facebook and all my closest friends and family were like "Dude, you're 45 years old, you've been listening to Aphex Twin for over 20 years, you've had a mega career and you live in a giant mansion with a model wife who begs for anal on the daily, surely you could afford better lighting to showcase those engorged jelly beans?" And they were right. I'm an amateur grasping at glory and the whole world could see. No place left to go from here but down.
  3. Thanks everyone! Very lovely of you all to listen. The EP will be streaming. I'd love to do a physical release, but I'd be shocked if I had my ass together enough. You're all very kind.
  4. This track is amazing
  5. New Alzado Acid track. EP coming out July 2020.
  6. Digging this am-boy stuff. Thanks for the tip!
  7. Yep! And thanks for listening. I will check out Amboy for sure. Cheers!
  8. Haha. Yes it does. thanks everyone!
  9. Dear god, I hope so. and thanks!
  10. Aye. I need to sidechain that kick. And the last melody is shite too. But thanks!
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