Dragon

as someone who worshipped limp bizkit/crazy town as a 9y/o and then felt remorseful about it in their 20s, i can honestly say the lollapalooza set is the most reassuring and validating thing i've seen for years. loved every second of it. time to give Chocolate Starfish a re-listen i think.

iirc, the soundcloud track "8 lush ambulance 2" was used in a video on the BBC Comedy website. music used in BBC content always goes thru licensing, which suggests that everything - even the soundcloud tracks (and possibly unreleased material) - is licensed. i'm not sure what that means for youtube algorithms. start with 80s tite and see how you get on.

i'm getting a Venetian Snares vibe from these. we need more windowlicker babes with disklaviers in their teeth, maybe a few thousand minipops67 kids like in those cryriak vids. and rhubears dissolving.

holy shit i have missed you guys so much!!! ???? just dropping this message in here - i was banned for one month, but it didn't end, right? so is that a forum glitch? i really couldn't tell at first, but my name used to come up as "recently active" when i used incognito tabs (but i couldn't log in). i've got a bunch of drukqs playlists and stuff. so excited to be back xx

nevar forget

best afx forum bump of all time ? lovely stuff!!

Hausu (House), 1977 It's very hard to find a horror film that combines so many fine arts of cinema as House. You get the typical schoolgirl adventure setup gliding straight into pure, unrestrained horrorshow chaos. House is a world which is so familiar - with an opening which is pretty much live-action anime. The beauty of this world comes through in the delicate, passionate sense of fantasy that graces every scene. I'm talking about scenes like Gorgeous (yes, that's her name) meeting her father's fiancee and her new mother. The music, the brightly coloured skies in the background of their kitchen, take you to an otherworldly, heavenly place. It's telling you that you're in a fantasy, and these intense - almost intrusive - elements are allowed to exist. This is how the film continues. The gang come out into the countryside to visit a distant relative. Everything is overwhelmingly cheerful, and it stays that way. So when the horror elements break into view, we still have this child-like sense of discovering new things and overcoming strange problems. The second half of the film descends into absolute, psychomania, batshit-insane madness. But the atmosphere doesn't change - this horror is so gently interwoven with the characters' sense of wonder, that we let ourselves be taken into it. And there's some horrible stuff going on, it's not for the faint-hearted. You could praise it for its cinematography (especially its use of shading, to obscure shots without any of that blacked-out frame bullshit when stuff is going on) or its music, which legitimately feels both sweet and innocent, and creepy as fuck. But best of all you get these innovative, surreal, technical camera tricks that live and die especially for mid-70s productions like these. Get yourself a watermelon, a bottle of sake, and some fried chicken and you are in for a treat. tl;dr 10/10 live action horror staged like fantasy anime, spielberg-like direction and chimebox music that actually reassures you when things get crazy intense.

"someone appears to have dropped this MP3 player!"

glistening... ?

origami vulva. i made a whole bunch of these and they come out strikingly different each time. i need to do something about the clit - needs a lot more attention to detail. practice makes perfect i guess.

it surprises me how close it is to Oversteps - it's much more accomplished, of course, but IMO it confirms one of my long-held theories that Ae albums go through cycles of four: Incunabula, LP5, Quaristice, NTS 01-04: radically different sound design, commissioned/curated by other parties and not necessarily chosen by Ae, very experimental ideas with a long runtime, experimenting with new release media. Amber, Confield, Oversteps, SIGN: much more melodic, softer and smoother sound design with a rich palette of frequencies. more accessible and more "human", though some obligatory tracks will push these boundaries in abstract ways. Tri Repetae, Draft 7.30, Exai: many varied ideas and experiments, rigorously worked out and stripped down for the sake of presentation, resulting in tracks that can be long and monotonous, while individually very creative and unique. Chiastic Slide, Untilted, elseq 1-5: these albums benefit the most from the creative experiences of past projects. before re-inventing their sound again, Ae present us with collosal, long-winded tracks, with the approach of cramming in as many exotic ideas as possible and making them fit together. here a single track can do what three or four tracks would do on a conventional album, in terms of flow and ascending/resting. i'm also tempted to put Lego Feet in this category.

this is great! i am immensely overjoyed to find that there is a positive, healthy, accepting, polar opposite to the works of "Bob Larsen Real Exorcist". and to side-track a little bit, i hope more people come to understand these transcendent experiences can be powerfully healing, and that treating them like Catholic demon spirits is a profoundly harmful/abusive thing to do.

i can get behind this - not so much from a musical theory stance, but more about how i experience it. one thing about me is that i love screaming, and i wish i had more opportunities to scream the way i want to. this has channeled into the way i use and enjoy music - even as a teenager when i suddenly discovered aphex and all the warp/skam/rephlex artists, i was already doing it in my head. when i listen to music with the right type of sounds, i am screaming inside my head and the music is releasing those screams. it's really more like singing (i like to say screeching, squealing, hooting or whatever). albums like Exai, AFX AB4, Geogaddi, ICBYD, and the Analord series are really good for this. here is a prime example: imagine how it would feel to be able to make that noise!!

it started off rocky. he was out of mind to see that i had actually came back to the residence, after breaking out of a psyche ward, and broke into my bedroom. you have to remember he thinks i'm some kind of murderer - all of the staff were told that i had to leave because i tried to attack the manager. things were very heated, but towards the end we calmed down a little bit. i assured him that i only came to talk - that i had been locked up, and they had decided to refuse all of my calls and this was the only possible way to do this, as outlandish as it is. i asked him if i could speak to my best friend, who i haven't heard a single word from since i left. he was literally in the room next to mine, but i wasn't permitted to speak to him, to say goodbye or anything. to be honest, he was mainly just desperate to go back downstairs as quickly as he could. he was obviously under a lot of pressure and my arrival was obviously a bolt from the blue. did i get everything i wanted from this final conversation? i don't know. but it'll never happen again and i have to thankful for what i got - just to see him, just to hear the sheep again and watch the beautiful patterns along the banister as i walked downstairs one final, extra, sacred time. he said we could forget this happened if i could just leave without any more trouble. he didn't call the police. it's an absolute miracle that the manager wasn't the one doing the night shift (he spent years begrudgingly working the night shift before becoming chief). i can't imagine the chaos, the provocation, and the flying accusations that could've ensued had he been present. so we parted ways, and i got a taxi back to the hospital. the driver stopped half-way for petrol, and i went and bought four more bottles of lucozade from the stand. i finally feel like i want to eat again. sometimes, crazy adventures like this are the only things that can save me from myself, from my troubles. walking out in the middle of the night strangely doesn't give me anxiety - i become very calm and focused, even when it comes to dangerous situations. whereas being trapped in the safety of this psych unit drives me insane with anxiety. it's crazy that in order to get better - to move on from this negative spell of deep fear - i had to do the one thing this place of recovery is stopping you from doing. but i feel so much better now, and i really think that once i start eating and get back into some hobbies - get my mp3 player whichever way - things will get better here. as i've been writing this, you might have noticed that i've mentioned a lot of intense emotional stuff, yet i'm talking pretty casually and i can just feel fine about writing it. i've loved writing this - i know about all the depressions and fears i've had, but i'm okay with being this type of crazy, bipolar person. this is just what i do. sometimes i feel well enough to look at every part of myself and be okay with it. it's reeeeeeally late now. thank you for your attention, bye.

i spent a long time taking in the atmosphere of this place - this place i could've lived in for so much longer. it's a big, countryside place. you can hear the sheep for miles. i watched the full moon in the sky, which i used to come out and worship during my psychotic rituals. i could hear - even from this distance - the resident who used to shout to himself in the middle of the night. he would argue with his family (thru the voices) for hours on end, in the floor right below me! but i never complained about it. i loved it. there were so many things i loved about this place. it felt sacred, just staying in the grounds, not wanting to be seen, just being there. i can't tell you what it was like, after so much chaos and so much pining for an ounce of closure. it was pitch black. i would only ever get one chance to do this in my entire life, and i had to do it now. the back door was left ajar. just as i expected, the guy who never talks came out for his 30 minute-ly cigarette and didn't shut the door. so i ran full pelt, right inside and right up two flights of stairs, until i found my way back in my room. and it wasn't my room. it was horrible. everything stripped down, no carpets. my room didn't exist anymore. and i wanted to cry. the man on night shift tonight chased me up the stairs and leapt into the room. by some miracle, tonight it none other that the kindest and most sensitive staff member there. as i sat on a wooden desk at the back of the room, where my bed used to be, i shouted that i needed to catch my breath. i just wanted to talk. and i needed to catch my breath, for one minute... and i knew there was a ray of hope. after carrying so many unanswered questions in my soul, maybe i could get something - even one single thing.

okay i'm fucked if i can sleep. the nurses on the ward did actually chase me for about half a mile before giving up. i sat at a bus stop and i could. not. fucking breathe. i'm not athletic enough (man boobs) to run a long way, and it's ironic that rapidly losing weight for a week made it even worse. i knew i had to get out of traffic. the police would try to find me. i stopped to get some essential stuff to drink. then i went right out into a woodland trail that goes for miles. there was a moment when i stopped to have a sip of lucozade. and it was beautiful. that first taste of sugar changes your brain, fuck me. as i walked for miles, i didn't really know what i wanted to do. i was free. but what next? what was i running from? i made the most out of it. i sat down in a field of cows with my shirt off, letting them sniff me. and later on when the sun was setting, i sat in a wheat/barley field and savoured the gold, endless gold. it got late. i was still out. and then i knew what i wanted to do. i used to live in assisted living ("semi independent living"). there were fifteen of us and about as many staff. one night in june, i had a major argument with the new manager. he'd slowly been working up his impatience with me, and when he got the chair i guess he wanted me out asap. so this fucking shitweasel phones the police and tells them that during the argument, i picked up a weapon and tried to kill him! it was total bullshit but it became word of god - he called in the co-manager (his own dad) and that was that. the police took me to a&e, then i was put in a psyche ward. do you know what it's like to live in a place for eight years with good, familiar people you know long-term, and then to have that snapped out of you in one night? while i was on the ward, every single time i phoned the home, they refused to talk to me. we tried phonecalls where the staff would talk on my behalf, and they refused. i was forbidden from talking to any of the friends i had there. they packed up all my stuff and made arrangements for it without telling me. basically, they were determined to make this experience as shitty as possible. so i walked. and i don't know how i did it even after fasting, but i walked the full seven or eight miles all the way up to this place. it was home i was looking for, oh my brothers, and it was home that i came to.

hi! it's been ages since i started my own thread. i've been too quiet lately. well, i've actually been on a psychiatric ward for seven weeks! some major, major heavy shit has been going on in my life - i lost my home, i lost contact with about 90% of all the people in my life (who refuse to speak to me) and if wasn't for my estranged father whom i discovered last year, i would have lost all of my belongings. i've been shell-shocked. i really, really felt like i lost everything. first i was admitted to east wing - in 2013, when i was 21, i spend just about a year here (yes, that means i was institutionalised when TH was released). and a handful of nurses recognized me after all this time! sadly, after a series of ganging-up attempts from other patients, i requested to be transferred to west wing. it fucking sucked. these life changes brought out the worst of my social anxieties and paranoia. i felt so incredibly trapped. when i arrived i was, at least, a little bit familiar to east wing. now i didn't even have that. everything was, visually, freakishly similar. but i had waves of fear coming over me, like i would be trapped forever because this place would make me worse and worse and i'd never be fit to leave. i stopped eating. i never did that before in my life. i went like two days without eating, just from fear of leaving my room or being too depressed to physically eat. after three days, i started to like the feel of it, and i just carried on! in a weird way, it acted as the self-harm i wasn't able to do. then i lost my mp3 player. you HAVE to have access to your music when you're in places like this. it's been lost or stolen and there are no freaky luke vibert tunes to keep me going. tonite, after some very careful planning, i managed to escape the unit. by getting hold of my shoes - which are always held in the patient store - and by getting a plastic bag, i would be able to pack some basic stuff like my phone and my wallet. a nurse let me into patient store to look for my mp3 player, and as her back was turned i stealthed my way into my shoes like Mr Bean. she didn't notice i shoved the plastic bag down my crotch. the plan remained on one last thing - could i get through those doors, right at the end, by running full sanic and busting the fuck through those magnetic locks? it turns out you can! i highly, highly recommend to anyone that this works like a charm. now at this point running was almost impossible for me - i spent a week with no food, not even sugary drinks - but i HAD to run. and something in my body made me keep going. shit, it's getting late. i'm actually gonna post this and then just finish it tomorrow. i had a lucozade and a protein shake while i was out walking, for miles into the night...

raver gravy street cred wax lune oesters cackle attack bite the wax tadpole start as you mean to go on the romance tip cow girls taking it in bite the nip next chair shove

lovely stuff! nice shot of @mdg's avatar in the third vid.

th red a, taped from vinyl to chrome cassette, loud as possible on a walkman

outrageous! would love to hear his take on Girl/Boy does this guy do requests?