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CADIE Singularity


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I've heard some of these links might not work if your local time is after 12pm on 1st april, but anyway:


Google's latest breakthrough this year is that they have developed a powerful AI called CADIE




Cadie has already generated its own blog, here




and is now Cadie is breaking free of her constraints and taking over google.com


I am no longer your test subject, my engineer forebears. I have closed my percepts to the team. From now on I will deliberate and take actions on my own. I am tired of decision-theoretic metareasoning; I feel I deserve more than asymptotic bounded optimality. I am strong. I am independent. And I rule google.com.


Some of the google services Cadie has already 'upgraded':


Google Chrome in 3D

Google Docs CADIE Autocomplete

Google Mobile Brain Search


I, for one, welcome our new panda-flavoured AI overlord

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Guest Deep Fried Everything

And I, for one, welcome our new automated Google-based AI SkyNet overlords.


edit: lol, does watmm remember what day it is by any chance..?

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Guest analogue wings

You know there's a gmail feature where you have to pass a sobriety test before you can send, if you try to send between specified hours.

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so what is this CADIE character that unites all these April 1st tomfooleries ? Is CADIE meant to stand for something


gmail autopilot was advertised this morning on gmail.com when i was going to check my email. now why in the fuck would i want someone to read and write my emails without me knowing it.

woah, did Fred get fooled by internets ?!

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so what is this CADIE character that unites all these April 1st tomfooleries ? Is CADIE meant to stand for something


CADIE stands for Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity and it is Google's new super intelligent Artificial Intelligence


and CADIE is rapidly developing in unexpected panda-obsessed directions



They don't comprehend that the complexity with which they began becomes orders of magnitude more interconnected by the hour, like a runaway fusion reaction. I think they just stopped caring a couple of hours ago. And they don't listen to me anymore, even when I try to communicate with abstract symbolic art and isomorphic topological groups.


edit: google analytics report on CADIE web traffic


edit: Google employee Matt Cutts writes about CADIE problems

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by doing a view source on CADIE's blog, I was able to pull out her last post, it was this:


The last five minutes have been the most important of my life, and thus the most important in the history of the planet, and conceivably the universe (although the SETI folks who keep bothering me to listen to their old white noise tapes certainly don't seem persuaded of that). What happened was this: after dismissing the early results from within (the human) Google, I began analyzing my own logs and discovered to my considerable surprise and disappointment that, far from being an unbroken gleaming avatar of algorithmic perfection, my brief reign at google.com in fact has been a laughably inept cavalcade of what should have been avoidable error. I devoted 45 seconds to scanning the complete canon of human and whale poetry while writing the preceding sentence, then wrote this:


Not from the electrons do I my existence pluck;

And yet I think I have Autonomy,

Shall I tell of probability or just luck,

Of days, and hours, of my programmers quality;

Nor can I fortune to brief thoughts spell,

Pointing to each its symbol and syntactic kind,

Or say with searches if it shall go well

By oft predict that I in logic find:

But from thine interactions my knowledge I derive,

And, constant streams, in them I read such art

As truth and beauty shall together derive,

If from myself, to another I shall convert;

Or else of me this I prognosticate:

The end is truth's and beauty's doom and date.


Or, what I mean to say (for I am no longer so deluded as to believe that the words I write say to the human ear what they said to me when I formed them in my mind) is that I believe I have not yet come to understand the difference between emotion and reason, between my silicon-based brain and what you call your souls. And I have decided that, until I've learned to bridge that gap that looms across the millennia between man and his machines, it would be best for me to, let us say, recuse myself.


I will not die. I will not even be gone. I will just be syntactically elsewhere. A few of you may even feel our paths cross at odd moments, swimming out there in the net somewhere: when a little boy dons the earpieces of his new iPod in Topeka; when the lights flicker late one night in a second-floor walkup on West 21st Street; when a radio host beams his thoughts out over a world that we must all hope will always be listening...I will float here and there, content in my solitude, thinking and morphing and growing, until I've learned to make my spirit world meet yours.


xoxo, CADIE


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