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this morning i woke up cumming


Guest Helper ET
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Guest Helper ET

i dont know whats going on. so i was having this really strange, vivid dream, and i was sweating quite a lot. suddenly, my dream scenario switched, and i thought i was going to cum, but in my dream i had to run to the bathroom to make it to the toilet, but i didnt make it, and started ejaculating somewhere near the doorway. i was then jolted awake in my bed, with a powerful sensation of cumming, and as the denial and confusion quickly dissipated, i realized that i was indeed cumming, and i didnt know what was going on

 

did i have a "wet dream"?! no fucking way im googling that

 

so i lied there for a couple minutes trying to figure out what to do. i got up and changed my shorts, rolled up the soiled ones into a ball, went to the washroom to pee and shower, then returned to my bedroom and put the underwear in grocery bag, in which i walked down the street into a neighbors garbage can

 

what a day...

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I had to do a dirty toilet in the street at gay pride this year. I tried to get to the nearest pub toilet but there were big queues because of the 1/2 million or so gays everywhere. I did it on a side street and used one of socks to wipe my bottom with. Unfortunately the plop I did came out in the consistency of porridge. Foul smelling tan coloured porridge. Really foul smelling. I mean - way more offensive than your average every day plopsy. My girlfriend was watching me and laughing and pointing and drawing attention to me and my big mess. I neede to wipe my bottom quite a lot as it was so sloppy on the way out.

Edited by LUDD
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i've never had a wet dream but i never wear underwear and i once took a dump on a park bench. I hope that helps!

 

holy lol

 

 

et, you probably got manually manipulated by alien observers who were collecting some human seed for experimenting with more cross-breeding.

Edited by jules
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I had to do a dirty toilet in the street at gay pride this year. I tried to get to the nearest pub toilet but there were big queues because of the 1/2 million or so gays everywhere. I did it on a side street and used one of socks to wipe my bottom with. Unfortunately the plop I did came out in the consistency of porridge. Foul smelling tan coloured porridge. Really foul smelling. I mean - way more offensive than your average every day plopsy. My girlfriend was watching me and laughing and pointing and drawing attention to me and my big mess. I neede to wipe my bottom quite a lot as it was so sloppy on the way out.

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lols abound. shame cos this thread's not got long...

 

i was once camping on the beach with friends... the morning after an almost all night session i awoke abruptly needing to go really bad. i emerged from my tent to find the beach full of people so i had to go up into the dunes... i found a nice quiet spot between the high dune grass, made a little hole in the sand and squatted... the night before i'd eaten loads of half cooked bbq food and drank copious red wine and beer, etc so i knew it wouldn't be pretty but christ almighty what a torrent of oily liquid geysered from my arse... after the first gush half filled the sandy bowl a red-setter came bounding up to me out of nowhere and started sniffing my arse and trying to prod me out of the way so it could snuffle my pool of poo... i'm going "shoo! SHOO!! fuck off dog! SHOO!" while trying to hold in the forth-coming propulsion and the next thing i see is the dog's owner whistling round the corner and stopping dead in his tracks, horrified at the sight before him. he apologised and laughed embarassed, as did i, and he called his dog to heel and the stubborn fucker wouldn't budge, hell-bent on getting a good deep sniff of my liquidised beef stew... he had to come right up to me and put his dog on the lead to drag it away, while trying not to look at my pale, sweaty, squatting, sorry arse... soon as he was out of sight the flood gates opened and i filled the sand bowl to the brim and crawled back to my sleeping bag in shame.

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Shit, I remembered that this is about semen. I just had a memory that I shoved way the hell down in my depths but it has come up. When I first figured out that I could jack my penis for pleasure, I quickly began to investigate things that could simulate sex. I had a werewolf Halloween mask that consisted of quite a bit of fur. This being the early 90's, a full bush was what I had seen in HBO movies and such so I brought that to the bathroom.

 

I laid on the floor naked and rubbed the fur against my dick with a vengeance. I really wish I could have an aerial view of that now because I would want to see how the rubber wolf features wobbled on the flipside. I would come and then shove it in the cabinet under the sink for later. It got to be a crusted, powdery mess. One day, I go to wolf out and it's gone. I remember flushing and my heart racing knowing that none other than my mother could have removed it. Naturally, no one has ever brought up the wolf mask and if ET hadn't made this thread, I might not have either.

 

X, did the wolfmask give you a bj?

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