LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Okay watmm, it's time for you to shine like the batshit-crazy diamonds you all are... I have summoned you here as I need help there's this mega-cute girl coming back home for Christmas and I need to politely stab her with my meat pencil we have talked a bunch and perhaps something might've happened (perhaps a meat-pencil stabbing) but then she moved to NY she used to be obsessed with my old band...so there's that she got kinda depressed a couple months ago and we sorta fell off after that anyhoo...i gotsta get all dup in them guts (seriously though, please advise me on this pressing matter...cheers) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 edit: I just realized she tagged me in her "home for xmas" FB post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schafseckel Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 did you forget how to have sex or what exactly do you need help with here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 did you forget how to have sex or what exactly do you need help with here? well definitely that too but mostly how to talk to girls (i've been spoken for the last 7 years) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Its disturbing that you keep calling it stabbing, one time its okay but man all of your sex things are about stabbing meat --- i dont have any advice cause im not an expert either but dont call it stabbing meat okay mr Beteman good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perezvon Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 haha sexual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Treat her like a human being? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digman Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Aproximately 2 days after you are sure she is back in town. "Hey I hear you are back in town, we should grab a drink [possibly replace with another activity] sometime while you're back. I've love to hear how things are going in NY, I'm considering moving there next year [it is fine if this is not true]." Don't take her to the local shit hole you hang at with your mates. Do something exciting / adventurous, this will create an association that you = fun [it is fine if this is not true]. Another game plan would be to get in touch before she gets here inquiring what she is up to while she is back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Its disturbing that you keep calling it stabbing, one time its okay but man all of your sex things are about stabbing meat --- i dont have any advice cause im not an expert either but dont call it stabbing meat okay mr Beteman good luck you're right, of course i was just trying to be funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 this is a problem too, be yourself, stop trying to impress, nobody cares, hopefully the real you is nice and kind thats probably what most girls want if they are not in it for the $$$ but who can blame them, would you rather work at mcdonalds. you are not boring thats for sure, talk about the stuff you write about here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juiceciuj Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 no don't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 perfect advice, ch'all that's exactly what i needed to hear perfect advice, ch'all that's exactly what i needed to hear no don't lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I'm glad I could help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juiceciuj Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I'm glad I could help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 well thanx u watmm for helping me and my engorged genitals Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schafseckel Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 alright so she tagged you in a fb post, which means she must at least somewhat remember you, that's half the battle right there. i suggest making up lies that your old band is back together or something and that you guys may have a pretty serious deal with Warp records in the works which includes a European tour. Chicks love Europe and she'll be really into that. casually mention that you can bring a guest along for the tour, and watch her eyes light up. You're guaranteed to get laid after this. When the time comes just say the deal fell through. or you could just be yourself and let things take their course. if you guys already have history things will probably work out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Npoess Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Did you just ask dating advice on a obscure electronic music internet messageboard for IDM nerdz? That might be the root of your problems, thinking to ask here first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entorwellian Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 ...This is why everyone non-registered hates WATMM outside of WATMM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 1. Be desperate for attention 2. Girl is coming over 3. Attention seeking is not attractive. She might be put off. What do? 4. Go to forum and make shitty bait thread 5. Fill emotional void with the guaranteed replies and that's how you get laid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goDel Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 "meat-pencil stabbin" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 jeez you guys are depressing i thought this thread would be fun i somehow forgot that watmm was so cynical and sardonic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I've had lots of success in the past by involving alcohol. The line "so what are you doing after this?" sometimes works if you're both pretty tanked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I'm getting tired of all the trolling on this site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juiceciuj Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 jeez you guys are depressing i thought this thread would be fun i somehow forgot that watmm was so cynical and sardonic good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 I'm getting tired of all the trolling on this site. I'm dead serious about that line, though. I've only had it work at last call, though. I should try it at brunch next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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