Squee Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 From Kotaku.com Three Russians, a Frenchman, an Italian-Columbian, and a Chinese walk into a fake spaceship, and don't walk out again for 520 days. Stop me if you've heard this one. Starting today, a crew of six pseudo spacemen will be spending a year-and-a-half inside the Mars 500, a mock spacecraft, in order to help the Moscow-based Institute for Medical and Biological Problems and the European Space Agency simulate a manned trip to Mars. See, getting men to Mars isn't the main problem. Getting men to Mars without them killing each other, as scientifically documented in movies like Danny Boyle's Sunshine - that's the problem. People aren't meant to spend so much time together in enclosed spaces. Within hours tensions start to rise, tempers flare, and soon enough dad is threatening to turn this car around and go back home. A manned trip to Mars would be much more inconvenient. There'd be no stopping to stretch your legs, no pit stops at Denny's, and no relaxing evenings at the Motel 6, watching the scrambled porn channel after making sure the kids were asleep in the next room. No, a manned trip to Mars sounds like my idea of hell, so I'm glad that it's a team of multinational volunteers that will be sealing themselves inside a 20,000 cubic foot windowless capsule to simulate the 520 day trip to and from Mars. "When everybody interacts with the same people in the same space, habits and behavior become apparent very quickly. These habits may irritate and cause indignation - and even fits of aggression," said Mikhail Baryshev, a psychotherapist who is connected to the program. The six men will spend their 520 days performing various experiments, eating canned food, and desperately trying to stave off space madness. To make things worse, they'll only be able to shower once every 10 days, which is half of what I believe the normal number of showers should be. Still, they'll have video games! The ESA (European Space Agency)said the crew will also regularly play video games as part of the agency's project to develop personalized software to interact with crews on future space missions. The ESA (Entertainment Software Association) would approve. Still, will games be enough to keep these six men from each other's throats? In 1999 an experiment much like this one failed, after a Canadian woman complained a Russian team captain had kissed her, and two crewmembers splattered blood all over the walls during a fistfight. Russian officials blamed the incident on cultural gaps and stress. Three Russians, a Frenchman, an Italian-Columbian, and a Chinese walk into a fake spaceship...oh wait, I already said that. On behalf of everyone here at Kotaku, I wish these brave non-explorers well, and hope their time not in space teaches us a great deal about how to endure a long space flight until Sam Neill shows up. I read about this earlier today. 520 days! I'd go completely postal within a few hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 bring in a copy of wikipedia on a dvd (edit:) and a copy of tetris (edit:) and one of those siterips you can get on pureTNA, sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futureimage Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u80ZMJSyEzo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bitroast Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 pretty sure knowing i'm going to mars for scientific purposes wwould b awhole lot more fullfilling then sitting in a pseudo cubby house for 500 days. you'd go bonkers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcinsu Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 the thread title alone made me tense up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uptown devil Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 a nasa-grade synth rig and loaded xbox would dull the insane annoyance this would be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ruiagnelo Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I imagine those anuses after the experiment ends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hahathhat Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I imagine those anuses after the experiment ends nasa encourages fapping to fight the muscle atrophy from living in zero gravity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 a nasa-grade synth rig Actually, it would make sense to me to give them things to pursue their creative interests (music making, painting, writing, etc). 500 days to focus on your art with minimal distractions actually seems like a unique sort of opportunity to me. By the time it was over, you'd either loathe it or be making really top tier stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I imagine those anuses after the experiment ends it's not like a this never leaves the capsule situation... they're being monitored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 a nasa-grade synth rig and loaded xbox would dull the insane annoyance this would be first shoop with cs5, puppet warp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ruiagnelo Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 I imagine those anuses after the experiment ends it's not like a this never leaves the capsule situation... they're being monitored. Even so. Some of them will just go "who cares, i can't hold it anymore" and it will happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneaksta303 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 fart chamber opportunity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Calx Sherbet Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 i'll give 'em a week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J3FF3R00 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 bring a copy of techno tetris and a boombox fixd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Adam Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Gime empty room and pc with max/msp. I think I could live just with this for 520 days. And food of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 They must be paying these guys a fucking mint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blir Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Are they all men? They're fucked if so. If they were to travel to Mars, the crew would require equal number of men and women because sex would be required for such a journey. True story. A dude spent three months in a space station once, he started cracking up after a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capsaicin Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Reminds me of Moon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 i think they should just admit that humans have needs and bring like a porn star or something to please the inevitably male crewmembers. first porn star in space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiddleBot Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 that was my first thought too, 520 days without sex, fuck that, terra firma for me actually it's funny, way back in the day I read some books on preparation for the mars missions.. this isn't the first time they have locked people up, they actually did it in antartica one winter and after a few months people became quite... eccentric.. even way back then the assumption was that there would be partners sent to the mars mission (sexual that is) i find it really funny that they haven't prepared for this very basic human need, either that or they found some real introverts who have never had any anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 kim stanley robinson's red mars talks a lot about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 i think they should just admit that humans have needs and bring like a porn star or something to please the inevitably male crewmembers. first porn star in space. this. Reminds me of Moon and this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ruiagnelo Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 i think they should just admit that humans have needs and bring like a porn star or something to please the inevitably male crewmembers. first porn star in space. DEFINITELY this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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