Hugh Mughnus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) I've been struggling through years of alcohol addiction and I've considered ending my life recently. It's fucked up because I know I'm an honours student, I have a wonderful girlfriend, an extremely high paying government job, but still don't feel life is worth living. I don't understand what's going on. It's completely illogical what I'm considering and I've always been extremely logical so I don't get it. Edit: I'm safe. I just can't control these fucked up thoughts. These constant feelings of non-worth. I don't get it. Some sort of complex I'm sure but I'm scaring myself now. Honestly who gives two flying fucks if I die? Non-Worth. Edited February 21, 2013 by StephenG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Good night................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syd syside Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 hang in there G, go to music when you are lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 stephen, we are all here for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) Good night................... Oh Stephen man I'm sorry that sucks. I absolutely know the feeling. The two possibly meaningful things I can say are: 1) It is very possible just chemicals in your brain out of balance (e.g. serotonin depletion) (dis)coloring your outlook, and once the imbalance subsides the feelings will too. 2) I tried to commit suicide when I was 21 and despite the seemingly endless fog of darkness that followed me around for years, I am so glad to be alive and it'd be such a bummer to cut this ride short, you know? Edited February 21, 2013 by LimpyLoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Hang in there Stephen. If you need to speak your mind, we'll listen.Though I've never attempted suicide, I've had the thoughts before too. These days that's not really the case, though I'm still constantly plagued by self-doubt and low self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Thanks everyone... I really appreciate it. I wish I could say what it is. It's so strange to have control over everything in my life except my own happiness! Maybe it's just seasonal affective disorder, I'm not sure. Really though, thank you. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Sorry, I hope I wasn't being dramatic on you all... Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syd syside Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 rubber johnny also is a sure thing for a cheer up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDp8rNtxtBE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Maybe it's just seasonal affective disorder, I'm not sure. feeling glum in the winter doesn't usually involve suicidal thoughts. go see someone and get some counselling! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Iain C Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I've been in pain for about 3 weeks now. It's my lower back. It comes and goes, good days and bad days, but right now it's pretty bad. I'm also having trouble pissing, finding it impossible to get the last few drops out and so effectively pissing my pants piecemeal every day as I dribble into my kecks each time. Symptoms point to some kind of kidney infection but my piss tests negative for bacteria so it could be a couple of other things - kidney stones, prostatitis or god knows what else. Diagnostic progress has been painfully slow and it's really starting to stress me out. I do not need this shit at 27 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
modey Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 The same electronic night (called "uncomfortable beats") that rejected me a couple of months ago for not being "dark" enough, is putting a gig on for one of the more accessible (but still awesome) acts from the festival I played last weekend. The only difference I can see between his music and mine is that his stuff is slower and more closer to the "bass music" style that I have grown to despise lately (but still dance to when drunk). Just because my synths are colourful and my beats are fast and bouncy, doesn't mean I can't get down with the dark grooves! Besides, if your night is called "uncomfortable beats" and you mostly play dubstep or whatever, isn't someone like me going to make people uncomfortable? Thus giving the name some actual merit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keltoi Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 that is a terrible name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luke viia Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Uncomfortable Beats: A Q&A with Dr Dre Stephen -- stay positive duder! Sounds like chemical wackiness to me. Chill on the phenethylamines! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isaki Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 yeah Stephanie hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghOsty Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I've completely been out of touch with time this week, seriously it didn't even occur to me that it's already Thursday until a few moments ago, despite knowing I should be looking for another job after being laid off, I've done absolutely nothing productive this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Hang in there StephenG! It sounds like you've got a very promising future ahead of you, so you should definitely stick around to see it out. Counseling's probably a good idea. I'm drinking decaf coffee... and it's one of the best roasts I've ever had, damn it! Still, no caffeine? WTF's the point. Also, hemorrhoid. Itchy. It's first world because I'm sitting on a microfibre couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aserinsky Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Condolences to both disparaissant and StephenG, cancer scares and suicidal thoughts are horrifying stuff. I've only experienced the latter but I wish you both the best. FWP: I want to install Wordpress on the new website I'm setting up, but I need to wait for a DNS update to recognise the new nameservers for the new host as the temporary domain doesn't work. Fuck you technology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Sorry, I hope I wasn't being dramatic on you all... Cheers I think quite a few of us on this forum have been there, unfortunately. Depression is so fucking unlush. If you need anything, just ask. I'm not a doctor, obviously!, but you've been dealing with some neurological shit lately. AFAIK there is a correlation between epilepsy and other seizure disorders and depression. I know you have reasons for not going to a doctor, but it might help. If things start getting worse please go see someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruising for burgers Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Thanks everyone... I really appreciate it. I wish I could say what it is. It's so strange to have control over everything in my life except my own happiness! Maybe it's just seasonal affective disorder, I'm not sure. Really though, thank you. =) dude, no one controls his or hers own happiness... try making other people happy, that would do... who said we're supposed to be happy, we're cursed with the gift of rationality, which makes it almost impossible to be happy... just look at said happy people around you, don't you feel their a little bit out of place, blind and detached??? maybe looking at things like i do, like a douche, thinking that everything around me is crazy and i'm right, maybe that helps... you seem like a very intelligent guy and maybe you're just surrounded by retards... keep up dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm feeling a bit awkward reading this thread lately. I mean, serious (non-fwp) things like cancer and depression right after posts about sharting and queefing. Such a rollercoaster. I have no problem with the serious posts of course, but I think they deserve a more serious thread. But that might become too heavy a thing I suppose. I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pcock Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 we all know a badly timed shart is considerably worse than cancer, lets be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm still constantly tired. Been like this for months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest A/D Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Just found out I have badly timed shart cancer. I'm tempted to start a suicidal thoughts thread. They are kind of fascinating, which sometimes diminishes how horrible they are. Props for manning up and posting about it. International Depression Messageboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Shart Cancer lol. How will that get operated on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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