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So my ex-girlfriend just put a spreadsheet on facebook, detailing all the pros and cons of her past boyfriends

Root5

By Root5
in General Banter

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Blir Grand Master

Blir

Posted
Posted

I think she isn't Asian at all, but just has a bizarre fetish about a guy learning Chinese for her. You guys are reading into this way too much. She seems perfectly normal to me.

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Goiter Sanchez Grand Master

Goiter Sanchez

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She sounds like a cunt. Good riddance. Also, why do you care what this bitch thinks of you? or anyone else for that matter? Also, anyone who has one of their criteria as "no family history of genetically inheritable diseases" is a jackass, and in my opinion completely out of touch. What cold cunt that person has to be.

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Blir Grand Master

Blir

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Wait, you're not saying that people who don't maintain a spreadsheet about past relationships are not normal, right?

 

That is exactly what I'm saying. It's very important to keep a table of raw stats around to ensure you don't repeat your own mistakes - it's just efficient. In my opinion Root5 is blowing this entirely out of proportion.

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goDel Grand Master

goDel

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Dear diary,

 

Today I have found out Excel spreadsheets are a better way to manage all aspects of my life. Preferably in lists which could be filtered and/or generate pivot tables. Since the amounts of rows and columns have been upscaled from their previous deplorable numbers (office 2003 and worse), a single sheet could be able to contain every aspect of my entire life.

 

Thank you Microsoft!

 

excel_art__the_italian_plumber_by_my_nam

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MadameChaos Grand Master

MadameChaos

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Holy fucking fuckedy fuck! She's joking right? She MUST be joking. No one could possibly write somehing like this and be serious.

 

TBH this first one is a wide category. "NO history of cheating, abusive relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, gambling addictions."

 

People won't assume you were abussive even if they do think it was you, do you smoke or drink? Don't sweat it.

 

BTW I can't even figure out how to read this fucking thing. Oh no wait, red is they DO and white is they DON'T.

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goDel Grand Master

goDel

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Lets say it was a joke. What would her response be to Roots mail? No reply and blocking him from reading the comments?

 

 

....

 

nah

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Sprillian Community Regular

Sprillian

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LOL.

 

I am one eighth asian crazy and couldn't possibly be with someone who doesn't sing like a naked angel.

 

*looks over at naked boyfriend*

 

"SING YOU CANARY!"

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Terpentintollwut Grand Master

Terpentintollwut

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I made a WATMM-version, feel free to use it.

 

KfhOtOj.gif

 

Also I lol'd at the fact she never figured out whether her first boyfriend was circumcised or not.

 

 

Wait, you're not saying that people who don't maintain a spreadsheet about past relationships are not normal, right?

 

That is exactly what I'm saying. It's very important to keep a table of raw stats around to ensure you don't repeat your own mistakes - it's just efficient. In my opinion Root5 is blowing this entirely out of proportion.

 

 

In fact, my friend had a txt-file on his desktop that was a rating-list of his sexual partners. It contained categories such as Performance, Penis Size and Overall Hotness - he'd rate them 0 to 3 Stars. The txt contained 19 different men who he'd meet regularly, he said the list helped him decide... yeah, he was a real slut back in them days! :happy:

 

 

In other news, she didn't reply to my private message, but has made it so that I cannot see her posts anymore on facebook.

 

holy shit she is like THE cunt, how long were you with her?

 

 

Good riddance to that one. She probably watches Sex and the City while eating an entire tub of ice cream, vibrator in hand.

 

lolol.

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eugene Grand Master

eugene

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i'd score about 25-28 points on her spreadsheet (depending on her interests, friends and family). what's your "level of attractiveness for Root's crazy ex-girlfriend" watmm ?

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granty Veteran

granty

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I score quite highly, except on: broad shoulders, sings like a sexy angel, and wants to learn chinese. I do have a lovely deep, masculine voice though.

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