Help me respond to this dude that emailed me who thinks im someone else

[andihow]

so my email also happens to be andihow

i got an email today addressed to a man called "Andrew Howison" which is not me

i was thinking watmm could write a response - a few words at a time - to the emailer. Here is the contents of said email:

 

from: Neil Tingey <[redacted]>

to: "Andrew Howison (andihow@gmail.com)" <andihow@gmail.com>

cc: Paul Ford <[redacted]>

date: Tue, Apr 14, 2015 at 11:35 AM

subject: Catching up

Hi Andy,

 

I bumped into Kevin last week and this was his reaction when i said we met up for a beer or two !!!

 

Concerned from Eastbourne .......

 

 

 

and then here is the pic attached:

 

 

I guess I'll start:

 

 

Neil,

 

 

 

 

[patternoverlap]

It has come to my attention

[Herr Jan]

It has come to my attention

 

That Kevin sadly

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

 

It has come to my attention

 

That Kevin sadly

 

 

committed Chimpicide last night.

[awepittance]

in a puddle of his own santorum

[Rubin Farr]

shit himself on the subway

[spratters]

shit himself on the subway

 

after fondling an unhealthy

[patternoverlap]

amount of birthday cake

[Brisbot]

causing him to develop

[KovalainenFanBoy]

investigate 9/11. 9/11 was a false flag attack perpetrated by our own government. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, investigate 9/11

[Brisbot]

9 sides is 3 Illuminati symbols. 3 illuminati symbols make one mega Illuminati symbol. the mega illuminati is coming to put u in da jail.

[hello spiral]

Anyway, I digress. Andrew (me) has not been

[patternoverlap]

away on business in awhile so

[juiceciuj]

executor to the

[triachus]

sexecutor. Which is me.

 

Your excecutive tasks include

[baph]

Eating the poopoo

[hello spiral]

and absorbing the peepee. Unless of course

[hoggy]

your flesh has lost it's absobency since last time ;)

[YangYing]

therefore, you must

go to the supermarket and buy

[patternoverlap]

twenty-eight

[hoggy]

tubs of table salt

[Perezvon]

but only the ones with "LUSH" written on it. Teehee, you know me!

 

Anyway,

[andihow]

with the salt you need to

[YangYing]

five

[Perezvon]

then blaze it

 

EDIT: oh come on :(