2014: the year Ellen Page made scores of neckbeards cry out in psychic anguish

[lumpenprol]

...by announcing she's gay. Millions of dreams of incepting her with their enhanced dream cocks dashed. Or maybe it's just me

 

 

http://youtu.be/1hlCEIUATzg?t=5m14s

 

(actually I've always found her slightly annoying, especially the way she got pissed at Naughty Dog over "stealing her likeness", but she does have a remarkably round forehead and smooth skin)

[roasty]

I would've inhaled the queef of Ellen Degeneres as air supply for a year, just to get near Ellen Page...

[Amen Lare]

Looked gay for me from the start.

[roasty]

I knew there'd be a thread on this here..

[Cryptowen]

wait whys she at a conference she was supposed to be at the store picking up smokes & pepperoni for ricky

[spratters]

Should I know who she is?

[lumpenprol]

Should I know who she is?

[Guest Pennywise]

I knew she was gay cos she never answered my letters.

[Guest]

Well, in this day and age it's possible to have a MtF (male to female) transition, so who knows what their love/obsession might drive them to.

I always deemed this very possible, and I applaud her speech.

[Guest]

wait whys she at a conference she was supposed to be at the store picking up smokes & pepperoni for ricky

 

[GraveGlitcher]

wait whys she at a conference she was supposed to be at the store picking up smokes & pepperoni for ricky

lol, Jalapeno chips too.

[Hugh Mughnus]

huh? She's been "out" for years?

 

well maybe not but I always thought she was into poon

[Candiru]

 

Boltie!

[logakght]

I knew she was gay cos she never answered my letters.

[Berk]

god this is gay

[Guest Gravity]

 

Boltie!

 

hnnnnnnnnnnnng

[Cryptowen]

honestly tho super made me kind of uncomfortable. It makes itself out to be this quirky indie comedy, but then you've got

 

protagonist beats two people to death with a wrench for being rude to him scene

 

ellen page rapes a man scene

 

ellen page gets her face blown off with a shotgun scene

 

 

 

 

and at the end i was like "well that was that"

[Hugh Mughnus]

honestly tho super made me kind of uncomfortable. It makes itself out to be this quirky indie comedy, but then you've got

 

protagonist beats two people to death with a wrench for being rude to him scene

 

ellen page rapes a man scene

 

ellen page gets her face blown off with a shotgun scene

 

 

 

 

and at the end i was like "well that was that"

Should I watch it?

 

sounds rough

[manmower]

Burial's probably sampling this as we speak.

 

 

I've got to admit I came close to crying, and not because I wanted to "incept her (?) with my enhanced dream cock" or anything.

[Cryptowen]

Should I watch it?

been a long time since i've watched it so idunno

i remember not disliking it, but there also wasn't much in the way of haha funny moments

[lumpenprol]

 

honestly tho super made me kind of uncomfortable. It makes itself out to be this quirky indie comedy, but then you've got

 

protagonist beats two people to death with a wrench for being rude to him scene

 

ellen page rapes a man scene

 

ellen page gets her face blown off with a shotgun scene

 

 

 

 

and at the end i was like "well that was that"

Should I watch it?

 

sounds rough

 

yes, I quite liked it. It's dark and funny in a uniquely American way, like a Troma film (well, I haven't watched one since I was like 13, but at least how I remember them). Some uncomfortable lols, but good lols nonetheless

[Hugh Mughnus]

I'll check it out! Thanks =)

[Guest Gary C]

Yeah, would like to fuck it. Always figured she was gay. Whatever. Doesn't stop my fantasies.

 

Good for her.

[lumpenprol]

though it took her 5 minutes to get to the point, she at least did a vastly better job than Jodie Foster. If she wasn't an actress she'd be a great politician. Despite the vocal quavers and shaking arm (which I felt were somewhat affected anyway), she was very cool and composed. Didn't say "um" once. She's pretty hardcore.

 

Edit: also, can anyone think of any very sensual acting lesbians? All the lesbians I can think of seem to have a core of hardness or coldness about them.

 

In a sidenote, I was reading today about how they have figured out some of the genes for gayness (that apparently account for 40% of whether or not you turn out gay), but did not find anything for women. It's always been one of my lazy pet theories that homosexuality in men strikes me as much more natural than in women (and I think there's a sizable contingent of gay women who are gay due to childhood abuse). As said this is a lazy theory so I don't really put stock in it and would be fine if they found a strong biological basis for female homosexuality, it's just interesting food for speculation.

[brian trageskin]

movie star: "i'm gay"

 

*gets applauded like she's a war hero*