joshuatxuk Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I live on a street of 5 or 6 duplexes across a high school parking lot. The band building is nearby so when I get home I usually hear some kid playing his baritone sax while waiting for his mom to pick him up. We're like the "working-class" street in a nice older, upper middle-class neighborhood. I'm between a very quiet Asian family who wave sometimes but never met and a very loud but super-friendly set of college bros who literally have a cleaned-out garage with a neatly maintained beer pong table. They get loud but they actually turn music down when I'm trying to sleep and they let me borrow their lawn mower. In my actual duplex I have 3 neighbors - two girls and a dude all in their early 20s who work evenings/nights at restaurants. They're really nice and, like my wife and I, have a dog and a cat. They had another cat who would stare at mine in the window but she passed away suddenly from a fall off a roof, her name was Luna. My dude is named George and I just realized there's an electronic duo called AlunaGeorge. The other cat is kind spacey and she used to piss us off by teasing my pets in the window or on our porch from 2-4am in the morning. The dogs just casually say hi through the fence like Wilson and Tim would in Home Improvement. I like our place a lot, especially after years of apartment living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 The idea of becoming an hermit is starting to sound more and more appealing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Last time I checked, they were all quite friendly people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 One of my other neighbors is this well-meaning, but incredibly strange Indian woman who came by to tell me about a job training course that I ended up taking. But she also included an awkward 10 minute prayer session in my kitchen that was really trying my patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yikes Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 ^^^^^^^^^^ watch i bet you get the job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 You know it. I made voodoo dolls of the last weirdo I interviewed with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isaki Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 to the left, 2 nice, quiet sisters who can get outrageously drunk sometimes. to the right, a very loud 18 yr old girl who has teenagers round all the time shouting at her from behind her fence. that has went on for months and she's seen the police countless times. fucking shut it please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hello spiral Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 My lady and I are in a loft conversion flat above two other flats which are, in turn, above a row of paper shops, curry houses, dry cleaners, off-licences etc, etc. In the flat below is Rob, mid-to-late 40's. Works as a binman, short and stocky, shaved head, tattooed forearms. His flat is a kitsch wonderland. He's an ex-alcoholic and was in some way that I don't understand 'saved' by Marilyn Monroe, so she's almost everywhere: posters, statues, lampshades etc. Where there isn't Marilyn there's little old lady type decorations like a set of Beatrix Potter wall plates, the kind you see advertised in Sunday supplement mags. Really nice guy, we often borrow his hoover. We thought he might be gay until we discovered he's now in a relationship with Christine, who lives in the flat below him. Christine is a nice enough, northern, very normal woman also in her late 40's. Her flat looks like a show room. She's slightly neurotic and we had a bit of friction when she left a set of typed up instructions on the communal door explaining how to close it without making noise. I left a post-it on them reading 'passiveagressivenotes.com' and she was banging on our door ten minutes later and angrily ranting. My response was to drunkenly act like a polite cunt to her and we've since found out from Rob that she regrets what she did and feels embarrassed about it. We're perfectly polite to her now and haven't ever mentioned it. Before Christine we had a junky/alcoholic couple called Barry and Sheila. You'd hear them late at night skulking about by your door in the communal hallway and find cigarette burns in the carpet the following morning. I'd often come across Sheila passed out in the hallway too. She'd spring awake when you walked in and go 'WAURGH!' and then put her head back down on the floor. One morning I found blood stains over the main door, their door, and along the walls. Their door was ajar for two weeks after this and we eventually had to investigate over Christmas as we thought they might be dead. Turns out they'd broken their lock and were just skagged out in their living room in front of the telly. Barry eventually died of liver failure and Sheila was chucked out by Barry's son. Flat went up for rent, along came Christine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ron Manager Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I live in an old converted council flat, the house-row type, so one flat on bottom, one on top. My gf and I have the top flat, and we have a friendly pensioner from Skye named Mhairi who lives on the ground floor. She must be 85 or so. She's quite deaf, so we can usually hear her TV, but it's not obtrusively loud. The flip side is that we can make as much noise as we want. She's always around to take package deliveries. She's nice to talk to, but sometimes she goes on a bit. Feel like I'm letting the Scottish side down by not having either an alcoholic or a riotous shouty couple to report on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLA FUR BIS FLE Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 oddball mountain man looking religious nut who has a strange fascination with all things NASA (even though he has born-again tendencies), and a fat lady who has a QVC problem. You live in Niagra? I would of guess somewhere in the rural deserted southwest or some mountain town based on that description, full of a lot of people like that first guy. Reminds me when I was at this cool sci-fi/fantasy oriented bookstore in SE New Mexico and I slowly realized the geeky kid at the cashier I was chatting to, the son of the bookstore owner actually, was a fundamentalist religious missionary. He described a trip to Greece as "beautiful" but full of heathens and those of false beliefs - I thought he meant secularists but then he clarified that the country was a challenge because so many are Orthodox Christians. This was all baffling to me because we had been discussing sci-fi novels for over 20 minutes. My wife slowly backed away with our paid for books and were like "k thnk bai!" Yes. This area is a bit of an anomaly within NY State. They vote Democrat, act like the Tea Party, never finish High School, pop pills, get on welfare, and complain about every thing. Also, most of them think they are rednecks but are not. We have to have the highest amount of trailer trash redneck wannabe's in NY State for sure. It is all the toxic waste, I am fairly certain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Canal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squee Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 My neighbor to my right is an old lady, and to my left a new middle aged couple just moved in. I have yet to speak to them, and I don't really want to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRiP Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I'm surrounded by scum, blacks, gypsies, white trash... all thanks to socialism, they built a project right next to me and since there was so much scum the mayor thought "hey you know what? let's dump them in your building as well" and so they did. The only legit neighbors are below me who are excellent and the top apartment in which a mean cunt middle aged woman decided to get a dog, not just any dog, no that wouldn't be able to annoy me, no, a dog that barks at anything at all hours of the day and if that wasn't enough she puts it in the window so it can bark at things and people on the street as well. The idea of becoming an hermit is starting to sound more and more appealing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest A/D Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 My building is cool. There's an older couple across from me who are the sweetest people ever. Sometimes there are a bunch of kids hanging out on the stairs, smoking and trying to act shady, but they are never loud or annoying. Across the street is a crazy couple who love to shout at each other. They have brutal and weird shouting matches. I don't think they ever get physical but one time the guy chased someone else with a big kitchen knife. The sex must be really good or something because they can't seem to stop seeing each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disparaissant Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 i live in a building with a bunch of asian grad students. it's quiet. my flatmate is a morbidly obese drag queen. think divine meets dolly parton and you're on the right track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schlitze Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 my flatmate is a morbidly obese drag queen. think divine meets dolly parton and you're on the right track. Her morbidly incohesive overflattery of the mechanics which inhibit in the pattern of the 9 to 5 shift is somewhat overpowered by her equally morbid obsession with eating poodle shit. You need a new flatmate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimi Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 my neighbor isn't allowed to contact me, directly or indirectly, as a condition of his probation :o he has 8 more years to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 next flat - brash glaswegian woman and nervy irish guy, we say hi and exchange niceties. the guy seems nice but looks like he's shit himself if you speak to him. i often hear the girl making herself sick, gagging with her fingers down her throat and puking. flat below - horrible loud american woman and long suffering english husband, often hear them fucking with her faking it with animal noises and ooh fuck me fuck me ooh yeah oh my god yeah jesus shit fuck... they fight a LOT! or she does... can only ever hear her shouting for hours on end - big loud deep angry voice all the time. they're weird and unfriendly and look at the floor when i say hi. they smell, their apartment wafts an awful stench out into the communal stair, they have 2 old stinking huge dogs that can't walk the 2 flights of the stairs so the guy has to carry them up and down one at a time every day. i'm sure they just let them shit in their flat to save them having to walk them. i recently saved the guy from getting his face caved in by some young guys he told to shut the fuck up when he was drunk. they attacked him with metal bars broken off from the stair bannisters. they've had the same thanks giving wreath pinned to their door for over 4 years, no joke. they leave junk and rubbish outside their door for ages, walking past it every day. ground floor guy - older guy dave lives on his own, doesn't work, total alky, often find him in a heap outside his door, sleeping in a stupor with his keys on the floor in front of him. there's a nice decent couple my age also on the ground floor who i chat to sometimes. man i can't wait to leave flat/apartment living behind and move into my new house at end of the month. thank god. ratboxes only serve the landlord (although i think that you own that flat ?). nwae, ppl wither within them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm surrounded by scum, blacks, gypsies, white trash... all thanks to socialism, they built a project right next to me and since there was so much scum the mayor thought "hey you know what? let's dump them in your building as well" and so they did. The only legit neighbors are below me who are excellent and the top apartment in which a mean cunt middle aged woman decided to get a dog, not just any dog, no that wouldn't be able to annoy me, no, a dog that barks at anything at all hours of the day and if that wasn't enough she puts it in the window so it can bark at things and people on the street as well. The idea of becoming an hermit is starting to sound more and more appealing to me. we need to found wattmtown. in some fertile area in the middle of somewhere. I'll be the sherriff, with the mandate to moderate or relocate any troll that infiltrate the local substrate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJW Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 On one side it's your classic young family. The parents are kind enough people, good down to earth upper lower class'ish types. The guy, a heavy built smiley fellow, and I seem to share some of the same outdoor interests as I often meet him out on the bike or doing a spot of winter swimming at the beach. The woman is your average little cute looking blonde housewife. Their two kids are twins and used to shout and scream ALOT, but they're growing up and settling down a bit. Thank God. On the other side it's a family of Norwegians who I'm very friendly with, often have weekend beers with the guy and enjoy dinner parties etc. together. Not bad neighbours really. The only real bother I have are the two properties that boarder on my back yard; Both have dogs that spend an awful lot of of time locked up in their kennels (poor things) so naturally they bark like mad at random intervals during the day. One is a large alsacian with a fucking deep aggressive bark, the other is some kind of small yappy thing. Between them they can annoy the shit out of me. One morning when I was especially pissed off I went down in my pyjamas and lugged a stick at the yappy ones kennel. Shut it up for a while. Felt kind of bad afterwards but dam, those dogs can drive me nuts sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 just nice, quiet, peaceful normal hetrosexual couples each with one young kid. boring but I like it that way, we had a neighbour from hell once and I'd never want to go back there, it was horrible. I might tell the story a bit later but I can't be arsed right now. It's worth hearing believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lucy Faringold Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm surrounded by scum, blacks, gypsies, white trash... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murve33 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 My neighbours are both remarkably pleasant, one works from home and has to sign for all my parcels. I use to live above a witch who's cats would catch rats for her, she would then break their spine with a hoover and watch them slowly try and crawl across the kitchen floor away from her. I picture her playing an Alpha Juno looming above the rats while they slowly try to crawl away, until the intensity of the tone breaks their spines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Last summer a house about 50 yards away from mine burned down. Just completely torched. Rewind a few months before that, I would notice a little chihuahua/mutt mini dog running wild in the streets, scaring me shitless because I live on a busy street and seeing that little dog get squished would give me the 1,000 mile stare. I would bolt over like a ninja, pick it up and drop it off behind the fence of the adress on its little dog license. (The house that burned down!) As I was walking home, I noticed the little bastard yet again! So I plopped it back behind the fence, and noticed where it had dug a hole to escape. I found some cinder blocks, to cover the hole, effectively trapping the dog, and I left a note on the front door of the house detailing the damn situation. A week later, I bring the dog with a death wish back again, even delivering it right to the frantic owner's arms. She didn't even thank me. I told her this wasn't the first time I had brought her dog back. She just walks away. You're welcome? A week later, the house is fucking scorched from some electric problem. That's called karma, motherfuckers. I just hope I the dog didn't get fried in vain, I saved its little life too many times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 My neighbour from Hell story I grew up with a young lad called Tony, we went to cubs and scouts together (stop smirking lol), about the age of 15 of course you become interested in drinking beer and behaving like giggling morons and not much else. Tony it seemed had a very bizarre reaction to alcohol and the first time I witnessed this was on a summers holiday when a few of us aged 17 went fishing for a week down to Devon. We were all plastered and in a jolly good mood waiting for a bus home when he just randomly attacked one of our pals, just out of nowhere he switched and starting to beat up his best mate...yeah as you do. Ian got away from him and ran off and disappeared. When Ian got out of Tonys grip, he turned to me. I remember looking right at him, I knew he wouldn't try it as though not a fighter I am solid as a rock and weighed in a fair few stone heavier than him. I spent all night trying to find Ian, anyway enough of that story. I carried on being friends with Tony but the effects beer had on him was frightning, sometimes I'd admit it was fairly amusing, his flat would be in ruins as he'd destroy the place on a regular basis, we was waiting in traffic next to a police car at traffic lights when he just got out the car and starting booting the police car while screaming 'cunts' at the top of his voice, he wouldn't leave a pub at last orders and started throwing chairs around etc etc etc. In the end he was banned from all the pubs...for beating up his dad. By the time were 21 I'd had enough and dissapeared gradualy off his radar, and I hadn't seen him for years. Until the fella next door put his house up for sale and one night there's a knock on the door. Never guess who was moving in? You guessed right. With his pregnant bird in tow. First night he moved in he was drinking all day and ended up on the road (its a busy one) trying to throw himself in front of cars, he ended up bouncing off a few bonnets before the police finally arrested him, I witnessed him throwing the in-laws out telling the all to fuck off in a drunken rage, his missus brought some friends round for a bbq and that ended in him trying to beat them all up, I had to contact the RSPCA as he attacked his dog with a spade one night and there was blood on the floor. This man was a psychopath on alcohol, it almost as though he was schizophrenic because sober he was nice as pie, though a bit weird but nothing would prepare you. His voice even changed into this deep growl. So after a few years of non-stop Hell he moved away and nowadays peace prevails. I always have a nagging feeling I haven't seen the last of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcofribas Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 that sounds frightening indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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