Lane Visitor Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 Lexapro is an SSRI that treats general anxiety. It's often prescribed for panic disorders/GAD as well as depression. I've been at 10mg for about a year now, and it keeps me from always "reacting" in the daily fight-or-flight situations, giving me an inch or two of space to remain calm and make some rational choices about how to respond. I found it pretty helpful as a first step in my recovery. (I'm also seeing a licensed psychologist weekly and attending a recovery program loosely related to my anxiety) I, too, am in a relationship that has been rocked a few times by mental illness, and not always on my end, either. I've realized that both parties feel those jolts equally. If I can offer some advice, it is this. My relationship improves when I focus (perhaps paradoxically) on myself. When you make recovery for you, both of you will eventually benefit from it. I have been down the other path as well, where I have tried to become a person that he wants me to be - and it always bred resentment, frustration and sadness. I would suggest you to not consider so much your girlfriend's expectations in the relationship, but rather examine honestly the kind of person you are, and what patterns would emerge again in the next relationship. Working with a counselor makes this process a lot less daunting. Are you into reading? philosophy, religion? Ah wow, sounds like a good suggestion re: Lexipro *jots it down* :D But yeah, that sounds manageable and pretty moderate of a treatment- i just don't want to be dosing myself into a zombie or anything or lose my creative spark. This is definitely good advice about my own expectations. It's hard to do sometimes as I'm used to living for and putting other ppl first, and ignoring myself, growing up with some family dysfunction/dynamics. It's especially hard to say that I'd be motivated to take these "extreme measures" (like meds) if it weren't for this potential worst case scenario, but i can't say i haven't considered giving myself a break and trying meds- just never felt this immediately needed. I've for sure noticed patterns in previous relationships that i have in this one where my anxiety just can be uncontained and i become lost in my head, so yes- stopping the pattern is important - for any relationship- romantic ones, family, friends, work, self. We've seen a counselor (whose actually my therapist) several times, but for less serious stuff. Maybe we should consider regular appointments. Have you been through that? Unfortunately, ive always hated reading- but this is something else i can get into if it improves my willpower, patience, and growth. hit me with fav books / book ideas! i just actually ordered some top rated book with anxiety in the keyword on amazon.. ya know the ones with a thousand words in the title.. oh heh.. "When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life", Because why not. Cheesy as Oprah / Dr. Oz, but sometimes the mundane things / mainstream things can have such obvious truths. I wanted to go deeper, but didn't want to waste time trying to determine the flagship book on anxiety by some hipster swedish futurist... i mean that would be rad, but whatever haha Seconding exercise, even though it makes me a big hypocrite since I don't do it nearly enough. When I'm not feeling right I usually want to keep to myself, stay inside alone and make music/watch shitty movies. But without fail the quickest way for me to feel better is to go out, spend time with other people and lift some heavy objects. The problem is the more I need to do it, the less I want to. I don't think I'm at all unusual in this. fourthing exercise or whatever we're up to now. bon chance lane visitor. most definitely on the exercise and eating better. working out and reaching fitness goals sometimes feels like one of the hardest human pursuits- esp when facing anxiety and junk food/vice addiction for managing said anxiety But i've done it before (got in better shape) and i can do it again. this time for something so much more important to me. thanks man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lane Visitor Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 wow i feel so naked now lolol.. but thats probably good. vulnerability, risk, interaction and of course support is good. so naked.. but soo warm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Stranger Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I took lexapro, I couldnt deal with the side effects. Almost all meds will have some sort of side effect, you just need to make the cost benefit analysis on whether or not you can live with them or not. Most often the side effects are worth it to curb the anxiety, but if something noticeably doesn't gel with you, don't be afraid to seek others. Be careful with SSRIs, they fuck with your sex life and you need to make adjustments. You also need to ween off of them, as missing a dose or going cold turkey can really mess you up. That being said they are an immense help for lots of people, and definitely got me through some of my worst times. I've gotten to the point where I can cope without them, thankfully. Good advice being given all around in here, really. Its nice to know people understand anxiety and know how to confront it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lane Visitor Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 I took lexapro, I couldnt deal with the side effects. Almost all meds will have some sort of side effect, you just need to make the cost benefit analysis on whether or not you can live with them or not. Most often the side effects are worth it to curb the anxiety, but if something noticeably doesn't gel with you, don't be afraid to seek others. Be careful with SSRIs, they fuck with your sex life and you need to make adjustments. You also need to ween off of them, as missing a dose or going cold turkey can really mess you up. That being said they are an immense help for lots of people, and definitely got me through some of my worst times. I've gotten to the point where I can cope without them, thankfully. Good advice being given all around in here, really. Its nice to know people understand anxiety and know how to confront it. Thank you for the pointers there- definitely helpful.. If I might ask, what kind of side effects did you experience with Lexapro? If it's personal, no worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adieu Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Lots of physiological causes for anxiety disorders. If it's super intense you should look at your diet and supplementation. That's the first area of concern. Then you look at built in habits, trauma, etc. Build tools to overcome anxiety. Mantras and breathing exercises work well for me. Make sure you exercise everyday. It's important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 i did 9 months of emdr, without which i wouldnt be here, simple as my anxiety comes from ptsd after a blow-out and a rather large truck changed my life foreverer. I lost my flat, my job (everything really) in the crash, but i'm still here. Didnt get this far just to jump off a bridge,,,,that would give my cunt-ex waaaaaaaay too much pleasure women come n go mate, the important thing is you do whats right for you, which sounds like you're pushing for anyway with emdr. as a previous poster said, emdr is not a magic bullet, but after that car wreck it kept me wanting to be alive, which is the main thing, n'est pas? It just brought the overload down to manageable proportions, then started clearing out various levels of trauma, but i'm still a long way from home. Been off work since june 2014 and have a re-referral back for more emdr, cos life on benzos can only go so far. Yeah worrying about losing a partner is stressful, but losing her isnt the end. Your focus should be on ways you can "heal", anything/everything else literally is secondary. Chin up fella, maintain your therapy and if the lady walks she walks. A break might do you good or show things in their true light? Your priority should always be you, because if you're not in a good place it'll play into the jibber jabber anxiety spiral which undermines the good things you achieve. Try and make some quality time for yourself, cut the green shrubbery intake down to a minimum (if u partake) and watch any other pharms, cos they can compound any problems and warp them in way you dont need. We're all hurtling towards death anyway...... ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 ps: music is the best therapy get your gear/kit switched on an try n convert your headfuck into something outside of yourself, like an alchemist making gold from shit, ja?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WNS000 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Lane Visitor, I have great empathy for you. Unfortunately, I cannot give you any constructive advice. I just wish you the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheatheman Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 pc music is the best therapy tbh that doubles my anxiety Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 i just play other people's music mate is the crux of it personally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 i'd prescribe large doses of Andrew Liles productions, cos that cunt can conjure anxiety in music better than most sometimes if you can re-imagine or have an emotion re-presented to you musically, you get into the nooks and crannies of whats fuckin with you and make it more pliable....... does that make sense? you give it form, this whateverthefuck, and shape it at least thats 1 strategy i've found useful.... make a whole mix's worth of insanity, so that when i need to "go in that room", i can do so safely (with the added bonus of material to listen to anyway) try it at least once & try making a mix, it fuckin excellent fun trust me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usagi Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I also take 10mg Lexapro a day. I was very much against meds initially and wanted the 'mildest' one. in my case it's not for anxiety, most of which I've left behind a long time ago thankfully, but more for "depression"/recurring periods of dark nihilistic moods where I don't see the point in doing anything at all. for me personally, it's helped a lot and I haven't experienced any lasting destructive side-effects. but I also don't want to be on them forever and have recently (just this week actually) gone back to my psych to resume one-on-one-therapy. this was after a year and a half break, mainly because we were beginning to just argue in circles and I wasn't getting anything out of it anymore, while starting on Lexapro round about that same time had clear and immediate benefits in that it stabilised my mood effectively. so I stopped seeing my psych. however the problem is still there underneath it, and you still need to address that. meds don't fix the problem, they simply block its effects and give you breathing room to remain functional. so my advice to you is to understand what causes your anxiety and to progressively expose yourself to that in controllable doses, because that's what works most effectively for anxiety: encountering what you fear, having a not-so-bad experience, and realising on a deep brain-chemistry level that you don't need to fear it anymore. that's what worked for me. for depression, I've determined that what I need to do to beat it is simply to have a string of positive experiences and achievements that make me look back and think I've not wasted all my time for nothing. because I still feel right now that life and human endeavour is ultimately futile, but I accept the possibility that I might be wrong. so the approach I've taken with my psych is, let's leave that question aside for now, and let's just focus on becoming successful and capable and living life well, so that when I reflect on it, it strikes me on a deep, unquestionable level that I've done something worthwhile with my time. anyway, as for your girl... she may stay, she may not, but your problem is bigger than that question. do what you can for yourself no matter what happens with her. people come and go. it would be an awful heartache if she did leave you but you would still have your life to work on afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwmbrancity Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Usagi.......there are always the bikes ;) caught a vintage Norton out recently but not enough time to snap, looked the tits, squat but purred past me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zlemflolia Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Your gf sounds like a cunt, "I don't want to have to help you deal with your problems" dump her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usagi Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 oh be quiet. Usagi.......there are always the bikes ;) always. nothing has brought me more happiness in the last couple years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoggy Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 What do you do when you get anxious/how do you behave? How do you notice when you are anxious? At what times or during what activities do you get anxious? When don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Warrior Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I'd def ignore the weird sexist stuff creeping in on this thread! Meditate, exercise, and learn to love yourself again :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 i don't think it's sexist what xxx said, it's reality and would be a driving apart factor. Biology trumps all, so just getting on with it without revealing to her the struggle so much, but showing the results seems good advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xox Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 @ amen w Sexist? Don't be so naive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoggy Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 people will say stuff like "girls don't like guys who are unsure / anxious / indecisive" but i think it's not really a gender thing. people trust other confident people. I'm not so sure that even this is true - I've often found unconfident people trustworthy and confident people untrustworthy - I think trust and respect are independent of confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Warrior Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 people will say stuff like "girls don't like guys who are unsure / anxious / indecisive" but i think it's not really a gender thing. people trust other confident people. you might make more mistakes that way but you'll also get more done as you learn from them. This is all I meant. Generalisations about women needing a leader/selecting the best dick/not reacting well to instability are defo sexist imo. There are billions of em, some will be like that, some aren't, just like men. That's all. I always enjoy xxx posts btw. This was also partly about the post calling the gf a cunt, for no reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xox Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 we're intelligent beings, not animals guided by instinct. Sorry but wrong imo. We are people, meaning, we are intelligent beings mostly guided by instinct but we just correct ourselfs with intelect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 people will say stuff like "girls don't like guys who are unsure / anxious / indecisive" but i think it's not really a gender thing. people trust other confident people. you might make more mistakes that way but you'll also get more done as you learn from them. This is all I meant. Generalisations about women needing a leader/selecting the best dick/not reacting well to instability are defo sexist imo. There are billions of em, some will be like that, some aren't, just like men. That's all. I always enjoy xxx posts btw. This was also partly about the post calling the gf a cunt, for no reason yeah i wasn't onboard with the cunt thing, but it's zeffolia so whatever. [-; watmm's got to have some colour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 we're intelligent beings, not animals guided by instinct. Sorry but wrong imo. We are people, meaning, we are intelligent beings mostly guided by instinct but we just correct ourselfs with intelect. yep, to ignore that we are animals driven by instinct its to ignore the reality of the world as it stands for the sake of ideology, which does not trump biology. And it isn't sexism to discuss biology, maybe to third wave feminists trying to gatekeep discussion, but not for anyone else. It is handy to understand the seemingly illogical (without taking into account what we know of biology) 'mysteries' driving certain decision making actions of those of either gender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoggy Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 as for the confidence thing, maybe there's an intelligence aspect to it too. smart, confident people vs ignorant and confident people. does that seem more relatable? you can still be intelligent, confident and repulsive, so no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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