My anxiety issues...

[hoggy]

I think you're all generalising too much, this thread is about Lane's problem

[Lane Visitor]

Wow, thank you so much guys.. just caught up on this thread, and I can't show enough appreciation for your guys' empathy, support and ideas. A few laughs too (:

 

We had some more discussion last night and this morning, after a day of what i'd describe as pretty bad dread and partial-hopelessness on my behalf (while i was at work just trying to figure what was going to happen), and she seems to be more connected and willing to work on things together, and was mad impressed by the changes I've started making, and stressed that she hopes it's for myself first and foremost, which it is, it's for everything. I know she's still a bit overwhelmed so im giving her some space this weekend, and we're also gonna spend some time to go out and do something fun rather than sit on the couch and discuss/analyze/re-assure/evaluate which is what we've been been getting caught up in doing, and i think that's what a lot of this is about. more walk less talk haha

 

I will say that fuck, getting up at 5 am to jog in the cold after 1 hour of sleep running on pure fear and adrenaline- unsure if my relationship is over- and eating clean throughout the day to come home after pure dread and do a little yoga despite all of that.. and NOT be clingy, nagging or freaking out, was one of the hardest but most real things ive done in a while in terms of challenging myself. fuck anxiety.

[Perezvon]

Wow, thank you so much guys.. just caught up on this thread, and I can't show enough appreciation for your guys' empathy, support and ideas. A few laughs too (:

 

We had some more discussion last night and this morning, after a day of what i'd describe as pretty bad dread and partial-hopelessness on my behalf (while i was at work just trying to figure what was going to happen), and she seems to be more connected and willing to work on things together, and was mad impressed by the changes I've started making, and stressed that she hopes it's for myself first and foremost, which it is, it's for everything. I know she's still a bit overwhelmed so im giving her some space this weekend, and we're also gonna spend some time to go out and do something fun rather than sit on the couch and discuss/analyze/re-assure/evaluate which is what we've been been getting caught up in doing, and i think that's what a lot of this is about. more walk less talk haha

 

I will say that fuck, getting up at 5 am to jog in the cold after 1 hour of sleep running on pure fear and adrenaline- unsure if my relationship is over- and eating clean throughout the day to come home after pure dread and do a little yoga despite all of that.. and NOT be clingy, nagging or freaking out, was one of the hardest but most real things ive done in a while in terms of challenging myself. fuck anxiety.

Fuckin A mate, that's exactly the way to go

[Lane Visitor]

 

Wow, thank you so much guys.. just caught up on this thread, and I can't show enough appreciation for your guys' empathy, support and ideas. A few laughs too (:

 

We had some more discussion last night and this morning, after a day of what i'd describe as pretty bad dread and partial-hopelessness on my behalf (while i was at work just trying to figure what was going to happen), and she seems to be more connected and willing to work on things together, and was mad impressed by the changes I've started making, and stressed that she hopes it's for myself first and foremost, which it is, it's for everything. I know she's still a bit overwhelmed so im giving her some space this weekend, and we're also gonna spend some time to go out and do something fun rather than sit on the couch and discuss/analyze/re-assure/evaluate which is what we've been been getting caught up in doing, and i think that's what a lot of this is about. more walk less talk haha

 

I will say that fuck, getting up at 5 am to jog in the cold after 1 hour of sleep running on pure fear and adrenaline- unsure if my relationship is over- and eating clean throughout the day to come home after pure dread and do a little yoga despite all of that.. and NOT be clingy, nagging or freaking out, was one of the hardest but most real things ive done in a while in terms of challenging myself. fuck anxiety.

Fuckin A mate, that's exactly the way to go

 

:D

[autopilot]

Just remember that nothing is permanent and one day you & everyone you know will die, and any kind of legacy you leave behind, artistic or genetic, will eventually also disappear, and one day everything on earth will be destroyed by the sun exploding.

 

Once you've come to accept that gracefully things should get a little easier.

[Lane Visitor]

Just remember that nothing is permanent and one day you & everyone you know will die, and any kind of legacy you leave behind, artistic or genetic, will eventually also disappear, and one day everything on earth will be destroyed by the sun exploding.

 

Once you've come to accept that gracefully things should get a little easier.

 

anxiety solved :D

[Lane Visitor]

you rule, lane. one of my fav watmmers for sure. i think the key to beating these sorta things is confidence, even if you have to fake it a bit. think of all the things you tend to worry about...how rational are they? how often do they really come true no matter how convinced you are that they will? try to identify these moments and replace that worrying with a self assured 'fuck that, it's not going to happen + i'm better than that'. even if you have to fake it, i reckon you'll get into the groove of it eventually. just focus on the things that make you happy like music, friends, and gf (hope it sticks together, but if not you will go onwards and upwards regardless). use those things to prop you up as you go about life making more awesome decisions and adding to the list of things to be proud of.

 

people will say stuff like "girls don't like guys who are unsure / anxious / indecisive" but i think it's not really a gender thing. people trust other confident people. you might make more mistakes that way but you'll also get more done as you learn from them.

 

hope this helped a little

 

ah, thanks mesh <3 (: you're a legit dude

 

i did 9 months of emdr, without which i wouldnt be here, simple as

 

my anxiety comes from ptsd after a blow-out and a rather large truck changed my life foreverer. I lost my flat, my job (everything really) in the crash, but i'm still here. Didnt get this far just to jump off a bridge,,,,that would give my cunt-ex waaaaaaaay too much pleasure

 

women come n go mate, the important thing is you do whats right for you, which sounds like you're pushing for anyway with emdr.

 

as a previous poster said, emdr is not a magic bullet, but after that car wreck it kept me wanting to be alive, which is the main thing, n'est pas? It just brought the overload down to manageable proportions, then started clearing out various levels of trauma, but i'm still a long way from home. Been off work since june 2014 and have a re-referral back for more emdr, cos life on benzos can only go so far.

 

Yeah worrying about losing a partner is stressful, but losing her isnt the end. Your focus should be on ways you can "heal", anything/everything else literally is secondary.

 

Chin up fella, maintain your therapy and if the lady walks she walks. A break might do you good or show things in their true light? Your priority should always be you, because if you're not in a good place it'll play into the jibber jabber anxiety spiral which undermines the good things you achieve.

 

Try and make some quality time for yourself, cut the green shrubbery intake down to a minimum (if u partake) and watch any other pharms, cos they can compound any problems and warp them in way you dont need.

 

We're all hurtling towards death anyway...... ;)

 

 

 

 

appreciate that matey!

 

crazy story you have there with your ptsd, mad props to you for making it through what sounds like it must have been hell.

[drome]

Good luck with your issues dude, anxiety is fucking awful. Don't know if anyone has mentioned this already (can't be arsed to read the whole thread) but found reducing caffeine intake helped me loads when going through similar shit. Might have fuck all to do with what you're going through but thought worth mentioning.

[Richie Sombrero]

I'm 30 and I went back to study medicine as a second degree. I've done 3 out of the 4 years but had to take this year out as my anxiety/depression got really bad. I'd been in first relationship in a few years and got dumped in May after exams for reasons I still have no idea of. Since then I was self-medicating badly with alcohol and trying to labour through by myself.

 

Finally got on antidepressants for first time over summer and tried to go back and do my course but I missed the first clinical exam as I couldn't hack it at the time due to stress. Final med is hard enough as it is and doing it in a smallish city in Ireland where everything was reminding me of my ex made me feel like I couldn't pick myself up enough to labour on through it, even though I was doing ok, and I thought a few times of suicide. The school were understanding and let me take this year out and now I'm back at my parents' for the moment.

 

I feel a bit better and trying to deal with stuff in a constructive manner but it's hard being 30 and being at home and currently jobless when you just want to be getting on with life, but it was really necessary for me to take this year out and I'm still riddled with anxiety and pretty broken-hearted/depressed. I need to start doing meditation as my mind is still constantly racing and having conversations in my head with her which is a fruitless endeavour.

 

It's hard too as I know I'll have to go back there, living by myself and doing research project next July, and I really need to get better before then as I need to finish my degree.

 

Started this mix series recently of braindancey stuff as a means of doing something positive and productive as I'm not able to do that much else at the moment and it's hard to leave the house some days. Coming here and talking about music has been a comfort too.

 

https://www.mixcloud.com/Richie_Sombrero/

 

I know/hope things will get better but I really should get onto my doctor to see if some form of therapy is possible as an adjunct to the drugs as I feel the breakup dredged up a lot of subconscious stuff and my self-esteem is essentially non-existent at the moment. I find it hard to even be in same room as my parents as I can't face talking to people much either.

[Lane Visitor]

I'm 30 and I went back to study medicine as a second degree. I've done 3 out of the 4 years but had to take this year out as my anxiety/depression got really bad. I'd been in first relationship in a few years and got dumped in May after exams for reasons I still have no idea of. Since then I was self-medicating badly with alcohol and trying to labour through by myself.

 

Finally got on antidepressants for first time over summer and tried to go back and do my course but I missed the first clinical exam as I couldn't hack it at the time due to stress. Final med is hard enough as it is and doing it in a smallish city in Ireland where everything was reminding me of my ex made me feel like I couldn't pick myself up enough to labour on through it, even though I was doing ok, and I thought a few times of suicide. The school were understanding and let me take this year out and now I'm back at my parents' for the moment.

 

I feel a bit better and trying to deal with stuff in a constructive manner but it's hard being 30 and being at home and currently jobless when you just want to be getting on with life, but it was really necessary for me to take this year out and I'm still riddled with anxiety and pretty broken-hearted/depressed. I need to start doing meditation as my mind is still constantly racing and having conversations in my head with her which is a fruitless endeavour.

 

It's hard too as I know I'll have to go back there, living by myself and doing research project next July, and I really need to get better before then as I need to finish my degree.

 

Started this mix series recently of braindancey stuff as a means of doing something positive and productive as I'm not able to do that much else at the moment and it's hard to leave the house some days. Coming here and talking about music has been a comfort too.

 

https://www.mixcloud.com/Richie_Sombrero/

 

I know/hope things will get better but I really should get onto my doctor to see if some form of therapy is possible as an adjunct to the drugs as I feel the breakup dredged up a lot of subconscious stuff and my self-esteem is essentially non-existent at the moment. I find it hard to even be in same room as my parents as I can't face talking to people much either.

 

Oh geez.. I feel for you man. That sounds like some truly hard shit to get through. That sounds like you made the right choice by taking time off from school to get your mind/body/spirit right. I know exactly what it feels like to broken up with for reasons you don't understand or don't know or even have no control over. It's fucking awful. And I know exactly that feeling when you have to go on living regular life, socializing, dealing, covering up, and uggh dealing with family/parents through it all. It makes you feel like a child, living in the past, a ghost of yourself, pure hopelessness. I know that, I've been there once-- I was without a job and broken hearted living at my grandparents house doing work for them until I found something. One of the coldest winters of my life. The one good thing about that kind of transitory place, however, is that once a lot of that real post-heartbreak anxiety and depression begins to fade a bit, there's that strange and mysterious period between the lowest of lows and the new opportunities, moving out/finding a new job and meeting new people where you almost have these series of existential moments, pondering of the universe, reality, self, purpose- which I think draws one deeper into the fibers of ourselves and helps us appreciate art, culture, travel, people, music, dreams and other mysteries that we don't often get to meditate on when we're pulled along the current of our regular 9-5, usually relationship-based, lives. I know this is cliched and probably won't help you much at the moment since you're freshly wounded and trying to stand up again, but I recorded this singer / songwriter a few months ago when i was operating my production / recording biz out of my apartment and he had this really adult/contemporary almost devotional project he was hiring me on to record and co-produce. At first, I thought it was going to be ridiculously boring, standard and lame, but one of the lines from the song resonated with me to the point that it changed my life, hearing it over and over. The single line.. I think it probably comes from some eastern philosopher/teacher, but it just made perfect sense in the stressful situations i was in at the time, and I think it's also true from so many angles of life:

 

"The cracks are where the light gets in."

[Richie Sombrero]

Thank you.

[Guest WNS000]

Just remember that nothing is permanent and one day you & everyone you know will die, and any kind of legacy you leave behind, artistic or genetic, will eventually also disappear, and one day everything on earth will be destroyed by the sun exploding.

 

Once you've come to accept that gracefully things should get a little easier.

 

Yes. This.

[Braintree]

It's entertaining to see how different of an audience that watmm is compared to the general public. I've used that same reasoning to people before and they usually hate it.

Re: Autopilot's explanation

[autopilot]

Well yea I wouldn't tell grandma that at thanksgiving dinner.

[Lane Visitor]

lol

[Braintree]

lol

[cwmbrancity]

I'm 30 and I went back to study medicine as a second degree. I've done 3 out of the 4 years but had to take this year out as my anxiety/depression got really bad. I'd been in first relationship in a few years and got dumped in May after exams for reasons I still have no idea of. Since then I was self-medicating badly with alcohol and trying to labour through by myself.

 

Finally got on antidepressants for first time over summer and tried to go back and do my course but I missed the first clinical exam as I couldn't hack it at the time due to stress. Final med is hard enough as it is and doing it in a smallish city in Ireland where everything was reminding me of my ex made me feel like I couldn't pick myself up enough to labour on through it, even though I was doing ok, and I thought a few times of suicide. The school were understanding and let me take this year out and now I'm back at my parents' for the moment.

 

I feel a bit better and trying to deal with stuff in a constructive manner but it's hard being 30 and being at home and currently jobless when you just want to be getting on with life, but it was really necessary for me to take this year out and I'm still riddled with anxiety and pretty broken-hearted/depressed. I need to start doing meditation as my mind is still constantly racing and having conversations in my head with her which is a fruitless endeavour.

 

It's hard too as I know I'll have to go back there, living by myself and doing research project next July, and I really need to get better before then as I need to finish my degree.

 

Started this mix series recently of braindancey stuff as a means of doing something positive and productive as I'm not able to do that much else at the moment and it's hard to leave the house some days. Coming here and talking about music has been a comfort too.

 

https://www.mixcloud.com/Richie_Sombrero/

 

I know/hope things will get better but I really should get onto my doctor to see if some form of therapy is possible as an adjunct to the drugs as I feel the breakup dredged up a lot of subconscious stuff and my self-esteem is essentially non-existent at the moment. I find it hard to even be in same room as my parents as I can't face talking to people much either.

 

 

just remember, if/when you re-enroll your Uni's student services should be rammed full of support staff (counselor, welfare officer etc) and when yer back at full tilt they should be required to offer you all the help you can get. Hang in there, i've had similar issues with post-grad bs, you'll know when its right to go back and as much as it doesnt help also remember the world is full of pretty single women even when it seems only 1 is worth pursuing

[cwmbrancity]

 

 

i did 9 months of emdr, without which i wouldnt be here, simple as

 

my anxiety comes from ptsd after a blow-out and a rather large truck changed my life foreverer. I lost my flat, my job (everything really) in the crash, but i'm still here. Didnt get this far just to jump off a bridge,,,,that would give my cunt-ex waaaaaaaay too much pleasure

 

women come n go mate, the important thing is you do whats right for you, which sounds like you're pushing for anyway with emdr.

 

as a previous poster said, emdr is not a magic bullet, but after that car wreck it kept me wanting to be alive, which is the main thing, n'est pas? It just brought the overload down to manageable proportions, then started clearing out various levels of trauma, but i'm still a long way from home. Been off work since june 2014 and have a re-referral back for more emdr, cos life on benzos can only go so far.

 

Yeah worrying about losing a partner is stressful, but losing her isnt the end. Your focus should be on ways you can "heal", anything/everything else literally is secondary.

 

Chin up fella, maintain your therapy and if the lady walks she walks. A break might do you good or show things in their true light? Your priority should always be you, because if you're not in a good place it'll play into the jibber jabber anxiety spiral which undermines the good things you achieve.

 

Try and make some quality time for yourself, cut the green shrubbery intake down to a minimum (if u partake) and watch any other pharms, cos they can compound any problems and warp them in way you dont need.

 

We're all hurtling towards death anyway...... ;)

 

 

 

 

appreciate that matey!

 

crazy story you have there with your ptsd, mad props to you for making it through what sounds like it must have been hell.

 

 

 

i kid you not - try being in Sainsbury's, a typical british supermarket like Trader Joes stone cold sober, seeing cat faces interlaced among any surface area and voices saying "everything is progressing.....not far from Level 7" and "TIME IS A PROCESSOR" at the checkout without questioning exactly what might be going on.....

 

hell on fuckin earth, but emdr shaved the edges off sufficiently, so now i can go back to Sainsbury's any time, besides their trifles are just too fuckin tasty to let the disorderly and tbh damn rude uncouth symptoms win

 

it was that hardcore for a while i thought it was game over sanity-wise........its when you learn how resilient you really are

[autopilot]

Bro with that attitude you'll be stuck on level 6 forever. The spacecats are only there to help you transcend this dimension.

[747Music]

Lane, sucks to hear your having a hard time. I too have major anxiety issues, not so much as of very recent events, but I know it's really difficult to live with. Maybe the only thing I can say to you that hasn't already been said is to beware of doctors over-medicating you if you choose to go down the path of drug treatment. Not all medication is bad of coarse and meds are definitely needed in a lot of cases, but being over-medicated will create all-new problems, and there's a good chance those new problems will be just as bad. That's what happened with me. And once your over-medicated it can be absolute hell to go off of meds if, after a while, you find a better solution (see my post in the first world successes thread: http://forum.watmm.com/topic/78333-stupid-first-world-achievements-and-successes/?p=2386672 )

It usually doesn't happen right away. One way it can happen is that you may be prescribed one, maybe two medications, and that's fine, and they may work. But then side-effects may happen and they may really suck. So since your meds are working great, just with crappy side-effects, your doctor may prescribe more meds to counteract those side-effects. That's rarely a good idea, because those meds may then have side-effects and so forth. My mother ended up on 29 prescriptions at one point for that reason! It ruined her life. She was in a bed for 7 years because of it! That's the extreme and doesn't really happen to most, but she is proof that it does happen. Don't let that happen to you is all I'm saying. Doctors do seem to be getting better at not over-medicating patients these days too, so that's a definite plus. And then there are some people who simply don't get the nasty side-effects. I sincerely hope that if you take meds, you are one of those people.

 

Also, it's helpful to do lots of research on any new meds you are prescribed. I'd recommend a website like this one: http://www.webmd.com/drugs/index-drugs.aspx They have a good list of drugs and lots of info on each along with lots of reviews/comments from people who have taken said drug.

 

I really hope emdr does the trick well enough for you. Hopefully then you wont have to worry about what I just said at all.

[Guest WNS000]

 

 

Just remember that nothing is permanent and one day you & everyone you know will die, and any kind of legacy you leave behind, artistic or genetic, will eventually also disappear, and one day everything on earth will be destroyed by the sun exploding.

 

Once you've come to accept that gracefully things should get a little easier.

Yes. This.

 

stuff like this is true, but i don't think it really helps with specific personal issues in this thread. if anything it's just sort of belittling the shit lane is dealing with.

 

 

I believe it can help a bit. As autopilot has written: "...things should get a little easier". Not a tremendous help actually solving the core problems OP has but it can bring a certain peace of mind to the whole context.

 

Of course, when the shit hits the fan and you deal with your chemical imbalance, it is hard to think in this way. But in my lay-man opinion, the OP has basically four options:

 

1) meds (with all the side-effects)

2) therapy solving the core problems (very difficult, expensive, long run with uncertain results)

3) more patient and tolerant girlfriend (nothing against his current girlfriend because I can imagine how incredibly difficult it must be for her to live with a partner that has such uncontrollable and unpredictable problems)

4) suicide (obviously this should be the last resort)

 

EDIT: Or a combination of the first three points.

[hoggy]

Unless I missed something, did you actually say what you do when you get anxious Lane? Feeling anxious in itself isn't a problem, so what is it about getting anxious that causes the problem? (in terms of how you behave or react to it)

[747Music]

 

 

 

Just remember that nothing is permanent and one day you & everyone you know will die, and any kind of legacy you leave behind, artistic or genetic, will eventually also disappear, and one day everything on earth will be destroyed by the sun exploding.

 

Once you've come to accept that gracefully things should get a little easier.

Yes. This.

 

stuff like this is true, but i don't think it really helps with specific personal issues in this thread. if anything it's just sort of belittling the shit lane is dealing with.

 

 

I believe it can help a bit. As autopilot has written: "...things should get a little easier". Not a tremendous help actually solving the core problems OP has but it can bring a certain peace of mind to the whole context.

 

Of course, when the shit hits the fan and you deal with your chemical imbalance, it is hard to think in this way. But in my lay-man opinion, the OP has basically four options:

 

1) meds (with all the side-effects)

2) therapy solving the core problems (very difficult, expensive, long run with uncertain results)

3) more patient and tolerant girlfriend (nothing against his current girlfriend because I can imagine how incredibly difficult it must be for her to live with a partner that has such uncontrollable and unpredictable problems)

4) suicide (obviously this should be the last resort)

 

EDIT: Or a combination of the first three points.

 

 

 

Maybe it's just me that thinks this, but it might not be a good idea to list suicide as any kind of resort/option to anyone. Should probably only list options that actually might help.

[YO303]

Do you even know who are you talking to? Jev

[xox]

Lane, go visit a quality psychiatrist and 'psychodynamic' therapist for an advice first. Beside psychotherapy you should probably take some pills for some time.

Yes, you have to make some life changes but things are not that simple. Intelectualizations and iq advices wont help you in the long run. Also, i do agree that women and men are very different in many things so leave those naive transgender advice to their propagaders.

¥ imo.