My anxiety issues...

[Lane Visitor]

Unless I missed something, did you actually say what you do when you get anxious Lane? Feeling anxious in itself isn't a problem, so what is it about getting anxious that causes the problem? (in terms of how you behave or react to it)

It's really just a lot of worrying about worst case scenarios of things / what did i do if this happens after i do this, and if by doing this, the chances of those said unwanted things are higher, shall i not do them or am i missing out on an opportunity? Is this worth that? Is that worth this? Was this person offended by how i said that? Did they actually mean this with their tone/body language? This thing normally happens, but it didnt this time.. Does that mean somethings wrong? Something changed? Is this a symbol of that? Does this mean this is going to happen now? Etc etc etc etc etc but not just in a quick passing moment of ponder that most everyone has--rather in a worst scenario dreading neurotic fashion lol.. And then i often become very distracted, disengaged, cant focus on anything, feeling of panic in my body sometimes, not interested in much else until said problem is "solved" or im assured or everything turns out ok

 

k.. this'll be fun.. here's a perfect example of the culmination of the worst period of absolute pure O / neurotic absolute chaotic thoughts turned into the worst downward spiral of my life... spike alert if anyone has ocd with existential / reality issues haha... prob gonna take a little bit to write this...

[Lane Visitor]

No joke- don't read this if your mind is prone to freak out and obsess about theories/meanings/existence/quantum physics/matrix type shit etc. Warning's been given.

I'm in a jobless, depressive funk for a year in my early mid 20's.. living with a friend/roommate who had very bad reactions to loads of meds he was given, and we're both just sloths ordering pizza, sitting on the couch.. wasting time like the lyrics from Longview. Bad sci fi movies, super-obscure music, and researching weird shit on the internet takes place of going out on weekends, hanging out, meeting people and doing the things i had done before the funk... I meet this late middle aged new age/buddhist guy at a bookstore who i look up to as a mentor and father figure, as growing up in a single family home with no siblings made it hard for me have a male figure role model in my life. we become friends. he takes me under his wing. i see him as a spiritual guru. a coach, and a friend who offered so much more solace, wisdom, and grounded-ness than i had felt in a while. he slowly becomes a little overpowering and very inquisitive of my life, but i trust him and confide in him. in one of my 3 am late night noodling, i stumble upon an article on Wikipedia about a theory called "solipsism"....

It's the basic premise that our own mind is the only mind that we can truly prove exists. I search more about the theory and its implications of this newly realized truth that I myself never quite truly contemplated the fact that there just could be a possibility that the entire world and minds around me are simply an illusion/construct of my sub conscious. I become fascinated with this insanely mindblowing and reality-shaking idea of the absolute opposite of how I've been perceiving reality since day one, and then it hits me.. like deep in the bones. I become scared shitless. Beyond shitless. Paralyzed. Hypnotized. Completely lost within the pondering of this new perspective. It can't be. It won't be. But now I can't not think of it. What is this? Do people know about this?... Wait, are there actually other people? W..... T.... F.

I sleep on it and wake up completely shifted of mindset, I remember the article I read the night before and I'm just sickened and.. kind of fascinated at the same time. What the fuck is going on? How can there be this theory that's supposedly completely internally consistent in terms of logic, that would mean that life is an illusion? Why had i never pondered this before and how can I now stop thinking about this if either answer is likely to be true based on logic? I mean logic is science. Are there other people out there that think this shit? That believe this? Wtf is going on? But if this is true, then it means I created the theory itself, so there aren't other people that believe it. Just me.

W T FFFFFFFFFF

I can't take the weirdness and mindfuckery any longer. Oh , I know. That one guy who I look up to.. who seems wise. He knows all about this kind of stuff. Surely, in his middle way, Buddhist, pragmatic, open-heated fashion, he'd easily and simply quash that theory and tell me it's ridiculous or haha yeah i remember thinking about that when i was a kid, or even just- you never know man, doesn't matter just live your life. No. I ask him if he's ever heard of the theory. He's never heard of the word "solipsism", but when i tell him what it means, that it's the idea that the only thing that can be proved to exist is one's own mind. I'm on the other line, walking through my complex, planning to have tried to go or a jog to better my lifestyle and work on leaving the slump im in, but of course, im just walking nervously, digestive system feeling out of whack, dry mouth and hot in my head... waiting for his reply. And he simply responds:

"Oh yeah man. That's true. Your mind is the only thing that exists."
..

....

....... heh. I respond laughing quietly, voice almost cracked at this point, just muttering like a helpless wreck, like im 10 yrs old and i just got told that im going to die in a year. "Well, you mean,.. like, symbolically right? like the world as we know it, is an illusion right? Not like it's actually not there?... eerright? you mean like from a buddhist perspective, like the material realm is an illusion and that we're all part of a big collective consciousness and that our bodies and the physical realm are merely the ways we view reality?"

"No man, for real, nothing at all exists outside of your mind. Youre consciousness is the only thing that exists.. In fact, the entire universe is just your imagination... Here, I'm gonna send you this article (he says nonchalantly) that will just totally blow your mind for real."

I hang up the phone and walk home in a daze, in a state ive never felt before as if everything was crumbling around me. im falling apart. is this the mega flagship version/source of that weird feeling that i get every time i would get tooo high and think about scary shit? Is this that dread that i feel deep within me sometimes, that not-knowing, strange foreign feeling that something is uncertain? Is this thing here now that is taking my mind away from me into this new scary world, is this what those other things actually were trying to tell me about the "nature of reality", but in slow back-road ways, in my own language, slowly and safely over time? and then this happened and it accelerated my apparently already- innate knowledge that i am in fact the creator of this entire universe, and that for some reason i needed to know it right now, right here? I set myself up a long time ago in the primal ether of my deep locked unconscious for a game to play, where i would one day find out that i , just me, only i- was the master of this entire design that i call "the world around me", and that it's now time to see the truth? have i broken the illusion that i set up for myself? and why did i even create an illusion in the first place? oh, to have fun, because if it's only me, then im bored and lonely and need to "create" other minds and pretend they exist and then create an intelligent way for me to forget i created those minds a long time ago, so that i could think that they are all other minds just like mine? and then i would have a purpose.. yes. and the ultimate purpose - to finally one day "remember" and realize that i was the creator after all?

or....

is this just another batshit theory that we'll never be able to prove true or untrue and so it's not even relevant, and that the world around me probably exists, because I actually have no reason to believe otherwise, and that all signs are actually pointing to the probability that other minds do exist, and that it would be absurd and simply a waste of time, energy and mental stress to think otherwise, just because it's "logically possible." It's also logically possible that this whole time, the sun was man-made from evil beings from another realm, but who fucking cares of it does it's job, and if it is deemed by common sense and rationale to be made by nature? why go against my original intuition, trust and everyday belief just because something is logically possible? If we don't know, we don't know. but it seems natural that i was programmed from the start to believe that the world around me exists, maybe not entirely the way i see, but there seem to be other minds that i don't have conscious control over, and why create these bizarre formations of theories that i somehow do have control unconsciously? why not just call that "other people"? and wouldn't that reality have more to do with a collective unconscious, than it being "me"? this all seems sci-fi to think in these scenarios- the answer is usually the simplest- occam's razor - it's not that complicated - everything does exist, but fuuuck me.. occam's razor can also be used to prove solipsism true. one mind is simpler than many? but fuck that because that still means i had to create fake versions of these "things" with some kind of unconscious power, and that could be just as daunting and complex.. and well, pointless and ridiculous and... but .. if...

and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

for almost three fucking years.

This became my focus, my thoughts, my wonders, my purpose, my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my everything-- to prove or disprove this theory. I needed to know. I had to know. But that wasn't the worst... After about 6 months or so, it started to internalize in my mind. I actually took on the perspective that nothing else but my mind was real. well, kind of.. see you can't quite forget a lot of the things that we naturally inherently feel or do based on the assumption that things are real. but i became somewhat schizo, and just batshit crazy. panic attacks, extreme ups and downs, euphoria, pure dread, on and on back and forth. everything around me was merely a symbol of subconscious, so i thought. but then sometimes id get lost in the presence of the moments and feel normal with friends, doing things, etc etc, and id blissfully forget these delusions- that i was "creating" all of this, and then it would hit me. deep in my gut. it would blow my brains out like getting hit my a fucking subway. fuck, i forgot- this is... all.. illusion. these people aren't here. I'd be in a movie and everything the actors were saying to each other was not actually said because it was part of the script- it didn't come from the screenplay writers scripts that were given to the actors on the set our in LA or wherever they were filming just outside of my home town in other communities, because there ARE no other people. This dialogue is actually parts of my subconscious mind talking to itself. Then wtf is it saying, and what's the message? what the fuck am i saying to.. my self ? what thee... okay... why am i talking to myself?

oh. it's a... the same dialogue i have running in my thoughts about this theory that i think about day in day out.... I look up from my psychotic haze onto the screen and try to enjoy the movie and say fuck it. Actor 1, in a random line in the movie says "It's not going to happen man". Actor 2 responds: "Fuck yes, it is".

Oh jesus fucking .. what the fuck.. That's me.. That's parts of my subconscious talking to itself. That's subconscious symbolism for my internal debate of "The theory of solipsism is NOT true", and the other voice in me responding as "Yes, it is man". EVERYTHING is a symbol, because, well.. if it's just me here... well, then, what else would these words i hear on a daily basis and these things that play out around me by these (apparently) zombies be talking about and doing? If it's just me here, then it's all about subconscious symbols. Welcome to almost 3 years of mindfuckery, bat shit insane- nearly schizophrenic, out-of-my-mind thought process and perspective. Many times I felt disassociate, surreal and like reality had shifted and I was going to implode into some parallel universe. Sometimes I felt euphoric, like some of the most transcendental feelings of joy and existential peace. But most of the time, I was just crippled with anxiety, trying to solve this "puzzle" of reality. Real or not. A or B. Me and everyone else, or just me. Yes or No. 0 or 1. It became my obsession to figure it out - through forums, books, philosophy, religion, lectures, etc etc.

I got over this, but it wasn't easy. But i did it without meds, without a therapist and without drugs/alcohol. It was the most difficult thing ive ever done. yeah sometimes i freak out here or there, from time to time, but i dont let it bother me as much anymore. i laugh at it most of the time (: who cares really, life and other people seems to be real, so may as well just kind roll with that. it was just a theory, one which can be quite creepy to think about, but one that most people without anxiety/ocd/panic would prob just shrug off after a quick thought, but for us with this kind of anxiety, things like this can be quite a trip. and i had the biggest trip of my life, literally, and i didnt even need to buy any acid or dmt etc. Fuckin woulda been nice to see some cool shit for everything i went through.

One time i was so deep in the panic and fear, that i was about to hook up with this girl who i had been friends with and wanted for so long, and i just looked at her as she was on top of me in the back of my car, and i just freaked the fuck out because i said to myself, wtf- she's not real, so that means im umm.. about to make out with myself. that's pretty creepy- imagine making out and about to hook up with a clone of yourself disguised as your friend lol .. so I said i had to leave and took off home just before we were about to get it on. hah.

yeah anxiety/obsessive thoughts sucks heh ... just an example, and the worst example ive experienced, but i realized that it doesnt matter what it is- my anxiety will manifest in any way it can- and that obsession over that theory just happened to be the winning prize for my anxiety at time. (:

[Amen Warrior]

Great read :) I can't even imagine living that for 3 years, so not going to attempt to give you any advice. I will ask though, have you tried any form of meditation? I find I have to make a conscious effort to get out of mental feedback loops (although they're nowhere near anything like yours), and do this most days: Shavasana / corpse pose, nice tunes on, concentrate on breathing, then visualize zooming out from the middle of my forehead (like slowly pulling back the slider on Google earth till I'm out of the galaxy..Sounds a bit mad to type that down!). Hope you continue to get better and I'm sure lots of people on here will have some great advice :) x

[KovalainenFanBoy]

Philosophy articles on wikipedia: not even once

 

I don't want to know what would have happened if you had read an actual book

[Lane Visitor]

Great read :) I can't even imagine living that for 3 years, so not going to attempt to give you any advice. I will ask though, have you tried any form of meditation? I find I have to make a conscious effort to get out of mental feedback loops (although they're nowhere near anything like yours), and do this most days: Shavasana / corpse pose, nice tunes on, concentrate on breathing, then visualize zooming out from the middle of my forehead (like slowly pulling back the slider on Google earth till I'm out of the galaxy..Sounds a bit mad to type that down!). Hope you continue to get better and I'm sure lots of people on here will have some great advice :) x

 

Thanks man.. yeah i do meditate sometimes and i have my own sort of ways of doing it. it's definitely helpful and im going to explore it more for sure.

 

Philosophy articles on wikipedia: not even once

 

I don't want to know what would have happened if you had read an actual book

 

hahaha yeah for real. at that time, i was so out of my mind, that i remember once picking up a book that i came across about quantum physics or something, just to sift through it, and i read a page about how the origin of the universe is consciousness expanding and creating other forms of itself or some shit, and i just went into pure panic mode, but kept reading and started drawing parallels with what i had been thinking about and obsessing over. pretty much everything i read or watched or heard was symbols man haha.. like even songs, i remember kings of leon- sex is on fire which was playing on rotation non-stop on radio/streaming/tv/stores etc, and somehow even those lyrics translated to something deep and meaningful that "i had written unconsciously to tell the story of my life" and that i was hearing it play back as narration of what's going on currently with me. lol fun times

 

it could be anything i imagined - like "this sex is on fire" could have meant "this current mindset im seeing the world in is the burning reality and ultimate essence of things". everything was like a puzzle and i had to figure it out. sometimes words or ideas or things would translate to "everything is the way it looks and it's all real and calm down, all is okay", which would mean i can take solace in the fact that the theory is not true and other minds and things do exist... but wtff... because that was my MIND that just said that.. that's what it MEANS as a symbol and the fact that im BELIEVING that and taking comfort in that symbolism means that im convinced reality doesn't exist. it was this chronic feverish nightmare that felt inescapable, hopeless and just plain bizarre.

 

The worst were the times where I thought I had defeated it or overcome it or proved it wrong after a few days, im ok im ok now, im back to normal... then id be sitting with friends chilling, eating, talking, and they could just say one mundane thing, and i would just internalize it and it would take me right back to where i was. nope theyre still not real. its all still an illusion. that feeling of being inside an inescapable vat, thinking youre free and it was crazy and the next moment you 'realize" there it is- that vat is real and this is still a game.. was the most gut-wrenching, horrific, hopeless feeling of dread and panic that i've ever experienced in my life. i can even feel a sense of memories of what it feels like sometimes and it's fucking terrifying to even try and pull that feeling back up. i don't even know how to describe it. if anyone's ever seen the movie Event Horizon when that guy gets pulled into the black hole and he comes out of it, and his reaction of what it was like.. that's kind of similar i guess. it just feels like hell. i don't even believe in hell, but id say that's as close as i could think of what hell could be. haha

 

i do have to say that it wasn't 3 years wasted, and some of the times were transcendent and meaningful in their own ways, and it wasn't dread like that 24-7. but it was definitely prevailing. it would be cool to also tell some of the stories with the euphoric crazy highs of it as well.. there were only like 2 or 3 euphoric experiences, but they were so strong and powerful, that they felt like a lifetime worth of peacefulness. fucking crazy. sometimes i can't believe im still alive and didnt end up in a mental hospital haha. but either way i came out much stronger from this experience and it really helped me form my own beliefs and desires and life goals and whatnot.. after spending 3 years thinking shit like that, you end up realizing how short life is and that living life and doing the things you love is so sacred

[awepittance]

what im going to say is not necessarily positive, but i think its smart to consider what im about to say

only after reading the first post, my gut feeling is that your girl sounds like she's playing you. meaning that she's already made the decision to break it off and you might be actually drawing yourself into more pain by holding out hope she's seriously considering staying with you. She might be feeling sorry for you now and didn't realize how quickly youd snap into action, but im just saying this worse case scenario that it might be a good idea to just keep working on yourself (as youve been doing) and actually request distance from her to the point where you can either a) feel confident to date someone else b) build your self back up to the point where being alone for a bit wont be as brutally painful

also think about this next question very seriously, would you say in any way your girlfriend triggers or actually is the source of any of your anxiety issues? Has being with her lessened your anxiety in any way?

of course my gut reaction to what you said could be absolutely 100% wrong, but I think its good sometimes at least to think of real life situations with a bit of a game theory mindset for self preservation reasons.

now in terms of just your anxiety issues, would you describe them as more acute like they come on fast and strong or do they appear after churning around negative thoughts in your head for a while like a brewing storm? You might want to consider a simple thing to try which is bio-feedback. There is a company called Hearth MAth that makes a device for the iphone and ipad and computer called EMwave which gives you biofeedback to help your pulse rate stay consistent. For a lot of people body feedback (like increasing jittery pulse rate will actually make anxiety worse) so this at least helps center your body while experiencing an anxiety attack or even just a period of anxiety from deep thought

[hoggy]

My first association is that the reason for obsessing about this solipsism theory is that solipsism reflects the sense of disassociation you were experiencing - when you were with the girl about to make out and then suddenly got a sense that she wasn't real for example, seems to me that what was really happening is you had a panic attack and felt disassociated - then in the panic your mind sought some kind of explanation.

 

Sort of like if you were on acid and you thought your hands appeared to be melting - your brain might think that you were in fact made of butter and that you needed to get into the fridge.

 

This is where I partially agree with a principle from meditation - mindfulness. So for example how this would work is when you're panicking or things are feeling weird and synthetic - you note that feeling to yourself ("I'm panicking." or "Things appear synthetic") and you simply watch as the feeling comes and goes, and breathe, instead of trying to do anything about it, you just notice that it's there. I think after a while you'll find the recurring panic loses it's energy.

 

But I think mindfulness involves other things too - sleep for one thing is very important. But other things too - too much fast paced screen based activity for example can make you more mindless... alcohol, drugs, isolation...

[hoggy]

only after reading the first post, my gut feeling is that your girl sounds like she's playing you.

 

I worry about suggesting (to someone who can be pretty paranoid) that he shouldn't trust a person who has stuck with him for a long time (he said 3 years, right?) might not be a great idea - but on the other hand we're all on our own journey aren't we, so it's really his choice if he takes it on board

[Lane Visitor]

^ thanks Hoggy & JE... Good points and tips.

 

Glad to say that we actually worked some things out today and last night, and agreed to move forward, but of course work on our issues and go to counseling. She says she's all in and I trust in that, and am happy to have made it through. One of the things she said is that she felt heard and that I was willing to give her space when she needed it and it meant a lot to her that i recognized both of our shortcomings and i agreed to make positive changes without being argumentative or defensive, which i can often do :P

 

This has been some incredible learning here and i could have easily lost something really important to me and that i cant take our relationship for granted. So much love and appreciation to you guys for all the amazing support, advice, ideas and similar stories. I love you guys.

[xox]

Lane, i felt the same as you did when i was readying schopenhauer's world as will and representation. until i understood what was he really talking about i was in the state for about 3 hrs (not 3 yrs!!!). there's a reason why you were in it for such a long period of time.

also, ppl love to missunderstand the theory (like the platon's cave allegory or nietzsche's ''god is dead'') for they own reasons, mostly unconsciously of course. the wiki page is quite ok but still it's better to read originals.

 

secondly, id like to know, if youre willing to tell, is how did you came across solipsism and what do you think was the reason you thought it to be the sole answer to every other question? was it cause of your buddha friend? im not blaming you for anything, nor do i'm saying it was a folie à deux moment, im just curious cause THAT is the most important and interesting part, WE and our choices, our belief systems...and so on.

[bossman]

strongly recommend reading robert anton wilson's PROMETHEUS RISING

[747Music]

Lane, I've had delusions that intense/crazy before, but not for 3 years on one delusion! That's rough, man! Some of them I was able to bring under control without meds (like my number obsessions to a degree), but some I was not and decided to fight my fears of meds and take them, especially because I was at the point where if I didn't address the chemical imbalance in my brain I was afraid I would give into the intense desire to stop living. The biggest reason I lasted that long was because my best friend had died in a car crash after trying to help me see that life was worth living. I wanted to honor him, and I also saw what harm his death did to his family and friends, and felt what it did to me personally. So I didn't want my current family and friends to suffer the same thing, no matter how much mental and physical pain and anguish I was in.

 

Good to hear that your girl is all in and willing to move forward. It's, as you said, gonna take some hard work, but it makes me happy that you're both willing to put in that hard work. Your relationship will grow ever stronger from sticking together like that.

 

I sincerely wish you all the best.

[Lane Visitor]

Lane, I've had delusions that intense/crazy before, but not for 3 years on one delusion! That's rough, man! Some of them I was able to bring under control without meds (like my number obsessions to a degree), but some I was not and decided to fight my fears of meds and take them, especially because I was at the point where if I didn't address the chemical imbalance in my brain I was afraid I would give into the intense desire to stop living. The biggest reason I lasted that long was because my best friend had died in a car crash after trying to help me see that life was worth living. I wanted to honor him, and I also saw what harm his death did to his family and friends, and felt what it did to me personally. So I didn't want my current family and friends to suffer the same thing, no matter how much mental and physical pain and anguish I was in.

 

Good to hear that your girl is all in and willing to move forward. It's, as you said, gonna take some hard work, but it makes me happy that you're both willing to put in that hard work. Your relationship will grow ever stronger from sticking together like that.

 

I sincerely wish you all the best.

Thanks, I really appreciate that.

[Leon Sumbitches]

Shit Lane, sounds like you've been dealing with some heavy-duty stuff but it also sounds like you're on the right track and your gf sounds really supportive and understanding so best of luck, mate! I know it's already been mentioned but meditation really is a great practical way of getting a handle on those dodgy anxiety/ mental feedback loops.

 

Also it's great to see people talking so openly about their mental health, it's something we know so little about and somewhere like watmm seems really supportive. Mad props to everyone who's dealing with mental shenanigans and holding it all together.

 

[TubularCorporation]

 

My dad had EMDR treatment off and on for about a year in the late 90s as part of his talk therapy for depression and anxiety related to a couple of traumatic things in his childhood and it worked really well. It's not a magic bullet, but as part of a more comprehensive approach it seems really helpful for trauma related stuff. Hopefully it will be as helpful for you.

 

As rough as the situation you're in must feel, the up side is that you and your girlfriend sound like you're talking about it openly and you both have the self awareness to recognize what's going on and try to work on it, and that's a positive thing. I wish I and my girlfriend at the time had had our shit together as much as it sounds like the two of you do when I was in a similar situation (although in that case I think it was good that it ended in the long run even though it messed up my life a lot for quite a while). I guess just try to focus on working things out for yourself not for the relationship or anything else external, and try not to see "healthiness" as a goal you are trying to reach, see it as an ongoing process that you are living. I know all of that sounds vague and flaky but it's the only advice I've got, it sounds like you're already ahead of me on dealing with this stuff.

That's definitely encouraging to hear about your dad's success with emdr. (: Do you know how long he went through it before he started making progress? I actually started with "brainspotting" which is apparently an alternate, somewhat lighter version of it, and it definitely relaxed me and hoping to continue to get positive results from it, gonna go into full edmr too.

 

Wow, thats really encouraging- thank you. We're definitely open communicators and do our best to own our shit and grow together. I hadn't realized the full extent of just serious my anxiety/drama had been affecting her/us until last night when she had that scary head-down-partial crying convo with me and kept saying im really sorry, im really sorry.. You prob know the drill (:

 

I always knew we both agreed our dynamics were getting unsustainable and that i needed to take care of my stuff, but that didnt translate at the time to the "i dont think this is going to work out" thing /:

 

But yes as you said, i think it is a good sign shes willing to go to couples therapy (we had gone twice before, but not for anything this serious.) We've been living together for 2 yrs and never had major fights or any break ups before (or even breaks).. We've also both lost family members and friends , i lost a job, car, etc- all this year and have gone through and withstood an incredible amount of challenges together. I'm sure that my anxiety on top of all of that for her has just completely exhausted her. She also is upset as she thinks we dont have a lot of shared interests together. Maybe a solo fun stress free vacation will help step away from everything for a bit- of course paired with lifestyle changes, and finding new common interests and doing more things together- rather than netflix n stress lol. At least truly hope so.

 

Thanks for the support man

 

 

Hey, sorry it took me a while to get back to this, been busy. It was something he did during a longer process of talk therapy to deal with depression, he and his therapist decided to try it because there were a few specific traumatic events that they were stuck on and and trauma related stuff is what it's usually used for. It was quite a while ago but I think the EMDR was less than a year of monthly or biweekly sessions and the regular talk therapy was maybe 5-6 years of pretty intensive work, plus he'll still go back from time to time to check in, but it's amazing (and inspiring, personally) to see how much the whole process helped him.

[cwmbrancity]

be prepared for a trippy time if you do take up EMDR, Mr Lane

 

it can dredge up all kinds of memories that you yourself may not understand & it can be v v hard to get through.... this is where the skill & intuition of of your session therapist kicks in

 

its not the fluffy option, in fact its the opposite, but it helped me A LOT, to the point that everything i have today is because of the healing that took place during those previous sessions and i start another course next week (through bizarre coincidence)

 

i'm not trying to scare you or put u off or show any cunt how hardcore i am,,,,, again the opposite, just a heads up that it can be a bumpy olde ride but when you reach the other side you'll be stronger for it

 

good luck & if u wanna discuss owt in confidence just send us a pm

[747Music]

Recent visits to WATMM have really raised the bar for me for what a great site this is. Although, I have always seen great value in coming here, obviously. But for a while my impressions of WATMM was a place not fit for anything other than jabbing jokes at each other and talking about awesome music n' gear n' stuff. Maybe years ago it was more towards that, but especially lately people here seem to be, more so, genuinely concerned about their IDMz forum pals. Offering upbuilding advice and conversation is pretty abundant here now, even when there are disagreements. All this while still keeping our sense of humor.

 

This thread is a shining example of what I'm talking about. Lane came here with a serious personal problem and WATMM responded really positively, inspiring deep conversation including insightful personal experiences that I'm sure helped not only Lane, but many others who read through them, including me.

 

Maybe it's partly because those of us who've been around here for years, as well of a lot of newer ones, aren't so young anymore. I dunno. (Which brings up a side topic I might create a thread for: I wonder what the average age is for IDM producers and listeners these days. I mean, look at the greats like RDJ, Tom Jenkinson, Mike Sandison, Marcus Eoin, and Mike P, just to name a few. They're all in their 40s now!)

 

Maybe I just completely missed the threads like this that may have been here all along.

 

Whichever it is, bravo WATMM!

[Polytrix]

I stumbled across this thread and read it for a good while. 

 

Brilliantly helpful and kind responses. 

 

WATMM = high quality humans.

 

I think it's really interesting that people linked by a seemingly simple common/passionate interest (music in this case) can so freely offer help and guidance to others when the opportunity arises. I encourage people to continue to contribute to threads like this.

 

I'm big on meditation, health eating and regular cadio exercise. Seems to work for me.

[zlemflolia]

Dump her, disgusting fairweather girlfriend

[Schlitze]

Brilliantly helpful and kind responses.

 

WATMM = high quality humans

You didn't see jev suggest suicide on the last page then. And then there was the posts by that guy hoggy. There are a few people dealing with psychosis on this forum and they all deal with it differently, including one guy who is in a perpetual state of Danny in the shining, that scene when he's sitting in the dark dribbling and shaking, but this snowflake is like that but typing out posts on here at the same time.

[Polytrix]

Yeah sorry, I kind of just thought that some of the posts were truly valuable and helpful all the same. I wish everyone well and really recommend talking things through with a CBT professional. I do believe that can be helpful.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[xox]

I wish everyone well and really recommend talking things through with a CBT professional. I do believe that can be helpful.

 

cbt sometimes works on short runs for some psychological problems but a cbt therapist couldnt help lane to solve his initial problems, nor his presenting symptoms at that time

[Lewps]

some mothertrucker on here said years back that "if you're not going to worry about it in a week, a month or a year don't worry about it now" maybe it was even in this thread dunno didnt read it lol

 

having fitness goals + expressing myself through fine artz also helps a lot

edit: also less coffee + other stims which has prob already been saaid

[usagi]

Ahahaha Zeff looool.

This is a solid 2 years old now.

 

the best part is, he made a similar shitpost 2 years ago itt.

[zlemflolia]

>Implying it was a shitpost as opposed to a heartfelt piece of advice