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What's the freakiest shit you've done?


impakt

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OH! I just remembered the actual freakiest thing I've done. I drank a shot glass full of a girl's pee. The whole reason I did it was because I didn't have any good freaky stories and felt I needed one. So she helped me out, and drank a shot of mine in turn. I'd been drinking a lot of rum, so her piss went down like a glass of water. She on the other hand almost vomited because mine was nasty apparently.

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OH! I just remembered the actual freakiest thing I've done. I drank a shot glass full of a girl's pee. The whole reason I did it was because I didn't have any good freaky stories and felt I needed one. So she helped me out, and drank a shot of mine in turn. I'd been drinking a lot of rum, so her piss went down like a glass of water. She on the other hand almost vomited because mine was nasty apparently.

see, and i have a urine fetish so this is fucking awesome.\\

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one time after cross country (i came 2nd) i felt so tired sick in the changing room that i threw up, but i didnt want to do it all over the floor so everyone could see so i grabbed my school bag and i was sick all over books and works, no one saw.

 

i also once after taking a massive liquid shit in the disabled toilet at college with what looked like bits of phlegm and was throwing up at the same time. i took my clothes of afterwards and passed out. 10 minutes after leaving the toilet i did the same thing all over again.

 

i also once couldn't be bothered to go downstairs to the toilet so i pissed in my slipper.

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A couple months ago I banged a girl in her car, double parked outside my apartment, in the front passenger seat. I was super drunk, and with it dark and her on top, I started getting the spins like mad. So I threw her off, opened the door, and puked.

 

Then I blew a kiss and went inside.

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one saturday night me and a few friends cornered a pterodactyl in an alley, i broke its front legs then fucked it. Well it looked like a pterodactyl anyway. It seemed happy.

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sexed a girl on a table in the middle of a party... i felt weird afterwards though. it was some stupid goth party.

 

sexed another girl at her house while her best friend was sitting there watching us... then she started fingering herself.

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sucked my own dick. exactly like nene's posted image but with dicksucking.

 

shat in the stairwell outside a friends apartment and on someone's car, the latter was a real sprayer

 

puked 7 neat little vomit puddles in a straight lined cause I didn't want to stop walking

 

masturbated with 2 guy friends, it's supposed to be this typical thing for some people but it felt kinda weird

 

probably a couple more things i've repressed or forgotten cause of the intoxication levels involved

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Guest Lube Saibot

fingered an ex under the table at a bar. not much was visible to onlookers but it was pretty implicit.

 

fucked in public bathrooms all over. looking back... ewww. one time we got caught in one of those nasty ways were the asshole insists you get the fuck out, so just before we opened the stall door i came all over the toilet paper roll in protest. this was at an art exhibition, mind you.

 

ate pussy in a elevator, i got stuck, we panicked, then it started up again and we both parted ways pretty unceremoniously. then i went to meet some mates, soon as they see me they start cracking up, apparently I'd walked through several crowds with her cream in my (then) goatee. classy.

 

finger up my ass has been a staple complement to many BJ's ever since highschool.

 

titfucking a butterface skank in full view on the balcony at 14, then the camp supervisor came to check up on us so we (me and a guy were awkwardly double teaming her) hid her butt-nekkid in the closet for the full 35 minutes that the fucking super insisted on discussing some bullshit schedule thing.

 

was once super fucking drunk at a bush rave, i just took my dick out and started peeing, soon as i finish i realize this girl's (wide-eyed) line of sight was perfectly perpendicular to my piss stream. i just smiled retardedly. she did too.

 

played a couple of full tracks with my dick out during one of my early sets.

 

fucked in a small stream in the park in the middle of a rainstorm. came in the river. became one with everything.

 

when my folks got divorced (also back in highschool) I intentionally got super pissed (2 bottles of red wine, 10 tequila shots, 4 beers, gulped girl's cocktail that she'd been nursing for 4 hours, leftover Garrone, A COFFEE to supposedly BALANCE IT OUT derp derp). needless to say, i projectile vomited so much that i completely covered the bar's floor, then blacked out, woke up home in bed, then dozed off and slept for 27 hours. had the shakes for half a week.

 

also during highschool, smoked way too much weed after some band rehearsal, then spent the entire night playing with the tape delay effect on a shitty behringer multiFX unit, then left almost completely nude (had boxers on), walked home (throughout the metro, crowded boulevards, by policemen) this way, but not before threatening our rehearsal room's landlord with a hatchet because she inquired on what we did all night.

 

fingered a Russian 15yo skank during summer school in England when i was 16, the next the whole administration berates me severely: apparently she'd lied, she was twelve.

 

I will never forget you, Russian skank. :wub:

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On Friday night I took a shit in an alley at the back of my mates house.

 

I've been on anti-biotics again and it really fucks me up when I drink. Rashes and shits. One drag of a cigarette and I had to drop one.

 

I've done worse things obviously, but that's the only one I'm telling the internet about right now.

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so Saibot wants to play ball, i see

 

 

Fingerfucked 3 asians then shat on a bonfire in my neighbours backgarden

 

Pissed my pants while kissing my 27 year old neighbour when i was 14. Was totally sober.

 

Got incredibly drunk on whiskey with my girlfriend and took turns giving each other head while the other was being sick.

 

Got caught trying to have sex with my cousins parrot (was a dare) and haven't been allowed back ever since.

 

Shat up a tree.

 

Came in my neighbours car while he went inside a fish and chip shop to get us food.

 

Went to cinema and had what developed into extremely noisy sex in one of middle rows (was only 25% full)

 

Kissed most of my male friends when i was on ecstacy in a festival and fingered a pregnant woman who was wearing an obscene pair of dungarees. She followed us round for the rest of the weekend, the next night i took her into the tent where she was violently sick on my bags, so i gave her drink of mountain dew, threw my stuff outside the tent and experimented on her while she slept.

 

Had a failed wank on a rollercoaster.

 

Went to a party in the midlands somewhere and deliberately got myself peed on by running into some drunk guy who was peeing in the back garden. I got far wetter than i had planned. He chased me round the house laughing.

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it was a trap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

three times

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Guest Lube Saibot

Shat up a tree.

 

..."up"? ... How?!

 

I was 6, and i shat myself while at the top of tobogan. I stand up there in silence for a few seconds, they i just thought "fuck it" and slid down. Shit pancake!

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Shat up a tree.

 

..."up"? ... How?!

 

I was 6, and i shat myself while at the top of tobogan. I stand up there in silence for a few seconds, they i just thought "fuck it" and slid down. Shit pancake!

 

i was at the top of a tree

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also, a subliminal picture of my erect cock has been in a national newspaper. Was my friends photo and it was cleverly disguised.

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Masturbated in a store-room at work and literally 15 seconds later, my face still flushed and twitchy, my mum opens the door (she worked in the same building, my first job). Could've been much worse/funnier.

 

Most recently I've had a fucking huge boil on my arse. Base of my spine. Size of a golfball, no kidding. So anyway, it burst as I sat down for a 2+ hour flight. Blood and puss dribbling through my white board shorts non-stop. It looked like I'd pissed all over the seat when I stood up. It smelt vile and was definitely worth a biohazard warning.

 

I've had a wank in a bush, just drunk and feeling weird, but that's pretty tame.

 

I got drunk at a gay bar during Sundance. Free vodka bars are awesome. Me and a friend went home with two gay movie-hands, necked some pills that we were told was Valium and got in the hot-tub. I can't remember anymore than that until I woke up on the sofa wearing someone elses trousers and a big black dude tapping me on the shoulder. I'm probably getting gang-raped in some gayporn film.

 

Vomitted in a girls' face, ran away from the fight that ensued behind me. Got some KFC, went back to the pub to top myself up full of booze again. Puked all over my mattress when I got back, which my housemates flipped for me. Then moved out in the morning.

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