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Broken Bones & Hospital Stories


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i was born in mexico, this is my story:

 

once i was walking out of taco shop with a bag of good mexican food (carnitas burrito, tres tacos de tripas, 5 rolled tacos w/ guacamole, large diet coke) and a young gangster mexican bumped into me, knocking my glasses to the dirty concrete. my glasses shattered and i became furious. "you broke my glasses... now i break your arm" i threw a haymaker at him and he bowled over into the salsa bar, he was disgusting with salsa. regardless i jumped onto him and performed an excellent armbar while in the salsa, tomato all over me and the Puto. i quickly snapped his arm like a twig and the police came. they ran his information and he had a warrant out for his arrest for crimes. i was congratulated for catching the criminal and the taco shop paid for my food, the officer shook my hand as well.

 

who says violence solves nothing..? they are a fool.

 

The End

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I broke my clavicle about 9 years ago in a bike accident. The break was so severe, I had to get a metal plate to keep it together. It's still in there/me.

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Bust my lip open by running into a cupboard as a wee lad and had to get stitches; that's about as dramatic as it got for me. I've been very lucky injury-wise, probably helped by being the least sports-inclined fucker out there.

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thread answered due to the sheer volume & intricacies of titanium holding everything together below my sacral vertebrae from RTA crush injuries

 

 

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stabbed & slashed in an attempted mugging, about 6 weeks later attacked by Derby fans with a steel bar = orbital fractures & broken nose/cheekbones cos we hate Derby & we hate Derby, later same year monsooned by another metal cudgel after a mate got outnumbered & confronted by a gang of cunts 1 dark night in Notts, 2001 nevar phoget

 

walked into a pub fight with mates while tripping on microdots (thought they were duds, d'oh, wrong) & had to glass some cunt while barely getting out alive with my nose @ right angles to original, the smell of someone else's blood all over you & lsd dont mix

 

cellulitis twice...nothing like a 20yr old going on teenage med student drawing horizontal lines down your leg to show where they plan to amputate from

 

riding my Grifter into a parked car pissed right up @ 14 hurtling down the mountain road, vehicle's aerial broke off in my neck while Lee Major-ing into the windscreen, add broken jaw/nose/cheekbone/collar-bone/radius/ulna, Schlitze can only dream of such accomplishments filming himself filming the ground go-pro-ing

 

add a testicular torsion for the squeamish - after the examination the surgeon hands you a document to sign, i asked "whats this for?"....answer "in case we have to remove both testicles".......no other gulp in your life will resonate as deeply as this one

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my chick broke my weeny once, that was hellfuck

Like: "snap" ?

Probably just burst blood vessels and ended up with black balls for a few days as the blood pooled

 

I'd hope so...

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if that was a genuine penile snap they can be horrific

 

with the torsion i couldnt ejaculate for 4months afterwards

 

blue balls? the first time after that nightmare i nearly passed out from the unearthly brew of terror & relief

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ye, def snapped, i was out for 3 month's and my wife wasn't happy with dungeon snail but our doc said old tower would heal so then we were happy ever after

never trust a chick on top yo guys

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dude if reading about a snapped dick doesn't make you cringe a bit as a man.

 

I dunno. Hopefully that never happens again. godspeed oozes peen

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too funny, at least the meat is a bit more robust

 

did mine in the middle of a ltr break-up, felt a twinge initially, rolled over in bed to flip the lamp off, pain went from nought to 'this is uncomfortable' to white-knuckled dry heaving in a few mins, trying to crawl to the taxi cos the ambulance was late is still one of the longest journeys

 

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