stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[usagi]

I used a friend's vaporiser tonight. first time using one, hit it really hard. now I'm pretty sure there was nothing but weed in there, but I'm getting a strange kind of high that I've never gotten before. I'm lucid enough to write this. I feel physically tired but also kind of brain-hyper right now. I'm feeling alternating waves of fear and happiness. I actually can't go to sleep, the darkness made me feel like my mind was drifting off and wouldn't come back. but I'm also smiling - literally, right now - at myself at how silly I'm being. I feel like my short term memory has become a stretchy rubber band. lots of weird uncomfortable pseudophysical sensations.

 

I guess I should just drink a bunch a water and wait to nod off.

 

what did I smoke?

[Bechuga]

I drank all the milkshake and now it is gone ;;__;;

[Zephyr_Nova]

omfg ableton keeps undoing all my cross fades, this is the most irritating program bug ever, fuuuuuck aaaaaaahhhh stoooooooop, hate you ableton!!!

[Guest Papillon]

For the past few weeks I have been pursued by a member of our office occupational health and safety committee for many small matters that I would consider to be non-issues. She is an (entry level) employee who may not have had many opportunities to directly engage management.

 

Yesterday she approached me while I was talking on my mobile phone and eating my lunch in my car, she saw me sitting there and wandered over and knocked on my window. She was concerned about a very small rust spot on a metal handrail outside our office (the actual rust spot is the size of a quarter). Later when she confronted me about it I told her I didn’t see any danger to our employees, her response was “tetanus”, when I looked back at her (I was walking away at this point) she said something about if I had a paper cut and touched the rust spot on the handrail I would likely get tetanus.

 

At our quarterly OHSC meeting she raised the issue of sinkholes, she had heard about sinkholes on the news and had come to the conclusion that our directors had a responsibility to investigate for the presence of sinkholes in the vicinity of our offices. I’m not an expert but I gather sinkholes are extremely rare and investigating for the existence of sinkholes involves very expensive geophysical testing, like earth penetrating radar, seismic surveys, and soil borings etc. I didn’t know how to respond to this request immediately, other than to point out in a nice way that without evidence or some indication of the existence of sinkholes it would be unreasonable to conduct an investigation.

 

The biggest and most painful unresolved discussion point for our committee is how to address the matter of employees working afterhours. From a OHSC standpoint the fear is that an employee might get injured or killed and not be able to get help if they are working alone afterhours. Many organizations can mitigate this risk simply by having an onsite security guard, unfortunately our office is small and there is no need to hire a full time security guard. Recently at a meeting one of the management members suggested that perhaps we could just hire a security guard to come in a do a walk through the building at midnight, I guess the logic is that if someone had injured or killed themselves at work the security guard would find them and be able to help. (I jokingly suggested that we should hire a second security guard to come in after midnight to make sure the first security guard wasn’t killed during his walk through the building). My comments were not appreciated.

 

I’m looking for advice on how to deal with this person. Ideally I would like to convey to her (respectfully) that I’m not interested in speaking to her about matters that don’t pose an imminent threat to the health and safety of our employees.

 

I realize this is a music forum but I wasn’t able to get many suggestions from an HR forum I posted this message on, and also I’ve heard some very good feedback about other first world problems on here before. By the way I work in an office environment, the biggest health risk to our staff is carpal tunnel syndrome, and ergonomic matters.

[Hugh Mughnus]

I would suggest being direct and stating exactly what you've said above: "I'm not interested in speaking about matters that don't pose an imminent threat to the health and safety of our workers". Furthermore I would suggest to her politely that she not interrupt your lunch with questions about rust. She does not sound adequately equipped skill wise to perform this job, you might want to speak with her manager if you are not her manager. Even an entry level h&s clerk would not (in my experience) suggest looking at sinkholes or be concerned about a quarter sized rust spot. What next? Does your company need an asteroid contingency plan?

[delet...]

omfg ableton keeps undoing all my cross fades, this is the most irritating program bug ever, fuuuuuck aaaaaaahhhh stoooooooop, hate you ableton!!!

 

that's pretty fucked actually. I was gonna commend the milkshake one cause that sucked, but this is a real level 9 disaster.

[MadameChaos]

i'm really really bored of my job.

[delet...]

For the past few weeks I have been pursued by a member of our office occupational health and safety committee for many small matters that I would consider to be non-issues. She is an (entry level) employee who may not have had many opportunities to directly engage management.

 

Yesterday she approached me while I was talking on my mobile phone and eating my lunch in my car, she saw me sitting there and wandered over and knocked on my window. She was concerned about a very small rust spot on a metal handrail outside our office (the actual rust spot is the size of a quarter). Later when she confronted me about it I told her I didn’t see any danger to our employees, her response was “tetanus”, when I looked back at her (I was walking away at this point) she said something about if I had a paper cut and touched the rust spot on the handrail I would likely get tetanus.

 

At our quarterly OHSC meeting she raised the issue of sinkholes, she had heard about sinkholes on the news and had come to the conclusion that our directors had a responsibility to investigate for the presence of sinkholes in the vicinity of our offices. I’m not an expert but I gather sinkholes are extremely rare and investigating for the existence of sinkholes involves very expensive geophysical testing, like earth penetrating radar, seismic surveys, and soil borings etc. I didn’t know how to respond to this request immediately, other than to point out in a nice way that without evidence or some indication of the existence of sinkholes it would be unreasonable to conduct an investigation.

 

The biggest and most painful unresolved discussion point for our committee is how to address the matter of employees working afterhours. From a OHSC standpoint the fear is that an employee might get injured or killed and not be able to get help if they are working alone afterhours. Many organizations can mitigate this risk simply by having an onsite security guard, unfortunately our office is small and there is no need to hire a full time security guard. Recently at a meeting one of the management members suggested that perhaps we could just hire a security guard to come in a do a walk through the building at midnight, I guess the logic is that if someone had injured or killed themselves at work the security guard would find them and be able to help. (I jokingly suggested that we should hire a second security guard to come in after midnight to make sure the first security guard wasn’t killed during his walk through the building). My comments were not appreciated.

 

I’m looking for advice on how to deal with this person. Ideally I would like to convey to her (respectfully) that I’m not interested in speaking to her about matters that don’t pose an imminent threat to the health and safety of our employees.

 

I realize this is a music forum but I wasn’t able to get many suggestions from an HR forum I posted this message on, and also I’ve heard some very good feedback about other first world problems on here before. By the way I work in an office environment, the biggest health risk to our staff is carpal tunnel syndrome, and ergonomic matters.

 

This person can't be for real. If it was a guy you could just tell him to fuck off and his ideas are stupid and they'd just have to man up and deal with it, but in no way ever do something like this to a female in the workplace, even the suggestion of negativity can end badly with serious career ending repercussions for you. -sie- Management will realise after a bit (hopefully) that she's a wacko and tell her to tone it down, if not have a word with them privately (not with her).

[MadameChaos]

don't you have a HR department for her to raise these issues with? in terms of health and safety you should have a person trained in first aid on site at any time you have employees working. this can be a manager or a supervisor. just make sure you are compliant with health and safetly regulations and it's fine.

[Bechuga]

 

For the past few weeks I have been pursued by a member of our office occupational health and safety committee for many small matters that I would consider to be non-issues. She is an (entry level) employee who may not have had many opportunities to directly engage management.

 

Yesterday she approached me while I was talking on my mobile phone and eating my lunch in my car, she saw me sitting there and wandered over and knocked on my window. She was concerned about a very small rust spot on a metal handrail outside our office (the actual rust spot is the size of a quarter). Later when she confronted me about it I told her I didn’t see any danger to our employees, her response was “tetanus”, when I looked back at her (I was walking away at this point) she said something about if I had a paper cut and touched the rust spot on the handrail I would likely get tetanus.

 

At our quarterly OHSC meeting she raised the issue of sinkholes, she had heard about sinkholes on the news and had come to the conclusion that our directors had a responsibility to investigate for the presence of sinkholes in the vicinity of our offices. I’m not an expert but I gather sinkholes are extremely rare and investigating for the existence of sinkholes involves very expensive geophysical testing, like earth penetrating radar, seismic surveys, and soil borings etc. I didn’t know how to respond to this request immediately, other than to point out in a nice way that without evidence or some indication of the existence of sinkholes it would be unreasonable to conduct an investigation.

 

The biggest and most painful unresolved discussion point for our committee is how to address the matter of employees working afterhours. From a OHSC standpoint the fear is that an employee might get injured or killed and not be able to get help if they are working alone afterhours. Many organizations can mitigate this risk simply by having an onsite security guard, unfortunately our office is small and there is no need to hire a full time security guard. Recently at a meeting one of the management members suggested that perhaps we could just hire a security guard to come in a do a walk through the building at midnight, I guess the logic is that if someone had injured or killed themselves at work the security guard would find them and be able to help. (I jokingly suggested that we should hire a second security guard to come in after midnight to make sure the first security guard wasn’t killed during his walk through the building). My comments were not appreciated.

 

I’m looking for advice on how to deal with this person. Ideally I would like to convey to her (respectfully) that I’m not interested in speaking to her about matters that don’t pose an imminent threat to the health and safety of our employees.

 

I realize this is a music forum but I wasn’t able to get many suggestions from an HR forum I posted this message on, and also I’ve heard some very good feedback about other first world problems on here before. By the way I work in an office environment, the biggest health risk to our staff is carpal tunnel syndrome, and ergonomic matters.

 

This person can't be for real. If it was a guy you could just tell him to fuck off and his ideas are stupid and they'd just have to man up and deal with it, but in no way ever do something like this to a female in the workplace, even the suggestion of negativity can end badly with serious career ending repercussions for you. -sie- Management will realise after a bit (hopefully) that she's a wacko and tell her to tone it down, if not have a word with them privately (not with her).

 

 

I don't really recommend telling anyone to fuck off, how could that ever end well? lol

 

I agree with what StephenG said, just telling her to tone it down a bit. Don't want to turn her so apathetic towards her job she decides not to replace the fire alarms or tell anyone there's serious faults in the building design.

[delet...]

i don't mean literally heh. jeebus. I just find that anything that can and will be perceived as a slight (even if it's perfectly logical, reasoned and appropriate to the circumstance) can lead to misapprehension with an untold shitstorm of consequence. This is from personal experience and from the experience of others i know in a few workplaces. There's so many landmines out there i tells yah and the office environment is especially thick with them. [-;

[MadameChaos]

i deal with people like this at work all the time, when i tell facilities about it they have this hazard tape they wrap around everything. get some?

[delet...]

Some co-workers need hazard tape wrapped around them.

 

Of course when i got to the sink holes thing the whole post appeared to be parody no?

[MadameChaos]

wrap some hazard tape over their mouth, no more speaking, problem solved.

[delet...]

Then we put them on a spacecraft and ship them off into the sun.

[pcock]

i also vote duct tape, or in extreme circumstances, full kidnap and torture.

[poblequadrat]

the sinkhole thing is ridiculous but the guard thing does sound sensible.

[peace 7]

For the past few weeks I have been pursued by a member of our office occupational health and safety committee for many small matters that I would consider to be non-issues. She is an (entry level) employee who may not have had many opportunities to directly engage management.

 

Yesterday she approached me while I was talking on my mobile phone and eating my lunch in my car, she saw me sitting there and wandered over and knocked on my window. She was concerned about a very small rust spot on a metal handrail outside our office (the actual rust spot is the size of a quarter). Later when she confronted me about it I told her I didn’t see any danger to our employees, her response was “tetanus”, when I looked back at her (I was walking away at this point) she said something about if I had a paper cut and touched the rust spot on the handrail I would likely get tetanus.

 

At our quarterly OHSC meeting she raised the issue of sinkholes, she had heard about sinkholes on the news and had come to the conclusion that our directors had a responsibility to investigate for the presence of sinkholes in the vicinity of our offices. I’m not an expert but I gather sinkholes are extremely rare and investigating for the existence of sinkholes involves very expensive geophysical testing, like earth penetrating radar, seismic surveys, and soil borings etc. I didn’t know how to respond to this request immediately, other than to point out in a nice way that without evidence or some indication of the existence of sinkholes it would be unreasonable to conduct an investigation.

 

The biggest and most painful unresolved discussion point for our committee is how to address the matter of employees working afterhours. From a OHSC standpoint the fear is that an employee might get injured or killed and not be able to get help if they are working alone afterhours. Many organizations can mitigate this risk simply by having an onsite security guard, unfortunately our office is small and there is no need to hire a full time security guard. Recently at a meeting one of the management members suggested that perhaps we could just hire a security guard to come in a do a walk through the building at midnight, I guess the logic is that if someone had injured or killed themselves at work the security guard would find them and be able to help. (I jokingly suggested that we should hire a second security guard to come in after midnight to make sure the first security guard wasn’t killed during his walk through the building). My comments were not appreciated.

 

I’m looking for advice on how to deal with this person. Ideally I would like to convey to her (respectfully) that I’m not interested in speaking to her about matters that don’t pose an imminent threat to the health and safety of our employees.

 

I realize this is a music forum but I wasn’t able to get many suggestions from an HR forum I posted this message on, and also I’ve heard some very good feedback about other first world problems on here before. By the way I work in an office environment, the biggest health risk to our staff is carpal tunnel syndrome, and ergonomic matters.

 

This one is simple. I'd have her join me in my car for a serious chat:

 

"Hey I was listening to BBC International this morning, and apparently local news hasn't been covering a major outbreak in this area of a new virus. It's highly contagious and fatal if not treated, and symptoms include..... Oh, shit. Oh, SHIT. My elbows are getting itchy-- HURRY!!!!! UNZIP MY PANTS AND START LICKING MY ERECT PENIS!!! You first lick it, then you have to make me orgasm in your mouth, it's the only- DAMMIT CLAIRE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO ARGUE- I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE, HURRY!!! BE MORE SCARED AND WORRIED-- HURRY!!!!! ...Yeah, that's nice..... Thaaaaat's nice..... Do it fast and hard cuz there's no ti-- Oh, shit- Claire, your elbows are starting to swell! It's spreading fast!!!!! Hurry, we have to jump in the back seat! WE HAVE TO GET IN 69 POSITION OR WE BOTH DIE!!!!! *tear off her skirt and panties* We have to both orgasm- FAST!!! Our lives depend on dithis s. .s.. mm mm mm mmmm..." 4min37sec later: "Claire- you acted fast and were very smart and intelligent in the matter. Thank you for saving both our lives. Just for that, I'll paint over the rust spot tomorrow out of my own pocket. Our aggressive grinding might have also prevented the spread of sinkholes... I'm keeping your panties."

[baph]

I drank all the milkshake and now it is gone ;;__;;

 

 

Peak Milkshake

[chenGOD]

Tell her you'll sink her hole.

[Bechuga]

Just to let you know I bought more milkshake today ♥

 

But I drank that up too so fml

[MadameChaos]

[delet...]

Now i want a fucking milkshake god damn it. FWFP . actually fuck milk shakes, i only drink thickshakes and there's your problem right there bechuga, if you'd had a thickshake you'd probably still be going on it, long after the milkshake would have been drunk away to nothing. And then if you add like shards of flake or something, oh my.

 

i wanna flake thickshake damnit. Been like a year since i've had one. /has shower /gets in car and goes to get one. maybe.

[Hugh Mughnus]

Just to let you know I bought more milkshake today ♥

 

But I drank that up too so fml

 

you're gonna get chubby with all them milkshakes my friend

 

then you'll bring all the boys to the yard or summat loike that

[Bechuga]

madame: How did you get a picture of me?!?

 

Delet: Thickshakes sound amazing. I'm imagining a milkshake but it's as thick as clotted cream ♥

 

Stephen: actually I've lost a bunch of weight so I'm in celebratory mood, plus they're on sale. When they go back off sale, I won't buy any more due to being a massive cheapskate.