Bacon Essay Contest

[Fred McGriff]

I'm hosting an essay contest. The essay contest starts now and ends in 24 hours. The winner receives 10 USD via paypal. The essay must be 3 good paragraphs on bacon. Post the essay in this thread. Thanks and good luck.

[dr lopez]

Do we post them here?

[MAXIMUS MISCHIEF]

bacon is nice

bacon is neat

i like bacon cuz it tastes like meat

 

By Maximus MIschief

[BCM]

BACON AND IT'S IMPACT ON THE WORKS OF BEETHOVEN

by BCM

 

Beethoven sounds a bit like bacon. Pondering this thought just seconds ago, I came to wondering how much bacon Beethoven ate on a regular basis, and just how much this impacted on his musical ability. On Googling "Beethoven bacon" I came across a sentance which inferred that Beethoven once stole some bacon from somebody's plate. I can only assume that this is proof that Beethoven was in fact some kind of crazed bacon thief, regularly stealing bacon when he couldn't make enough money from composing to fuel a vicious bacon addiction.

 

On further reflection I deduced that all of Beethoven's work must contain some kind of bacon references, and on closer inspection it is clear to me that the often misunderstood "Eroica", or Beethoven's 3rd Symphony, is in fact all about bacon. More specifically, frying bacon in a pan, with perhaps an egg thrown in later for good measure.

 

In conclusion then, Beethoven enjoyed bacon. Most, if not all of his work was in some way dedicated to it.

 

References: pathetic Google search

[schlucharski]

BACON AND IT'S IMPACT ON THE WORKS OF BEETHOVEN

by BCM

 

Beethoven sounds a bit like bacon. Pondering this thought just seconds ago, I came to wondering how much bacon Beethoven ate on a regular basis, and just how much this impacted on his musical ability. On Googling "Beethoven bacon" I came across a sentance which inferred that Beethoven once stole some bacon from somebody's plate. I can only assume that this is proof that Beethoven was in fact some kind of crazed bacon thief, regularly stealing bacon when he couldn't make enough money from composing to fuel a vicious bacon addiction.

 

On further reflection I inferred that all of Beethoven's work must contain some kind of bacon references, and on closer inspection it is clear to me that the often misunderstood "Eroica", or Beethoven's 3rd Symphony, is in fact all about bacon. More specifically, frying bacon in a pan, with perhaps an egg thrown in later for good measure.

 

In conclusion then, Beethoven enjoyed bacon. Most, if not all of his work was in some way dedeciated to it.

 

References: pathetic Google search

lol A+

[sup]

bacon is meat from the pig. there is a lot of different kinds of bacon if u go the store. there is small (~2 mm thick) and big (2+ thick) also they have short and long types. the short type is what u put on a hamburger cuz there the right size and a big 1 is to long. u can also buy bacon in a bit. u put the bits on potatos

 

bacon can be cooked alot of different ways some ppl like to cook bacon alot so its crispy and some ppl like there bacon chewy. im not a big bacon but i like crispy bacon more cuz i dont like to chew so much. bacon is 1 thing u eat for breakfast but u can also have bacon any time of day. sometimes restrants will let u order there breakfast stuff and they let u choose what kind of meat do u want. saucage or bacon.

 

bacon has alot of fans. bacon fans like to talk about bacon im just talking about it so much cuz i wanna win $10 dollars tho. alot of bacon fans are fat cuz they eat so much bacon lol. in conclusion, bacon is meat from the pig

[BobDobalina]

Can I submit mine on this (Fedex overnight obviously)?

 

[schlucharski]

So I walk into a butchery keen for a meat salad, just the way I like it, hell knows what they put inside, you don't see it, you don't taste it.

So there's this guy in front of me. He buys shitloads of meat, he goes 'yeah this and that' and the fat lady behind the counter is busy heaving all sort of shit on the table. she's so fat, her tits rest on her wame.

 

 

I picture that guys family as a bunch of meat-crazy, sharp teethed maniacs, going 'ghhhh' siting in their rooms banging their heads on the walls, siting on the edge of the bed weeping and cradling, thinking 'motherfucker should arrive with the meat any moment, I need that meat.'

 

lady's cutting the meat like crazy cos that suitor wants it cut. from my angle I see her up from her chest, cos the counter is in the way, and it looks like she's cutting her wame in pieces. I smile like a cretin. guy leaves after 10 minutes packed with bags containing niceley cut pieces of dead animals. he guy didn't buy bacon, not one bit.

 

thank you for your attention

 

edit:edit

[Fred McGriff]

So I walk into a butchery keen for a meat salad, just the way I like it, hell knows what they put inside, you don't see it, you don't taste it.

So there's this guy in front of me. He buys shitloads of meat, he goes 'yeah this and that' and the fat lady behind the counter is busy heaving all sort of shit on the table. she's so fat, her tits rest on her wame.

 

 

I picture that guys family as a bunch of meat-crazy, sharp teethed maniacs, going 'ghhhh' siting in their rooms banging their heads on the walls, siting on the edge of the bed weeping and cradling, thinking 'motherfucker should arrive with the meat any moment, I need that meat.'

 

lady's cutting the meat like crazy cos that suitor wants it cut. from my angle I see her up from her chest, cos the counter is in the way, and it looks like she's cutting her wame in pieces. I smile like a cretin. guy leaves after 10 minutes packed with bags containing niceley cut pieces of dead animals. he guy didn't buy bacon, not one bit.

 

thank you for your attention

 

edit:edit

 

seems a little copy and pasty

 

BACON AND IT'S IMPACT ON THE WORKS OF BEETHOVEN

by BCM

 

Beethoven sounds a bit like bacon. Pondering this thought just seconds ago, I came to wondering how much bacon Beethoven ate on a regular basis, and just how much this impacted on his musical ability. On Googling "Beethoven bacon" I came across a sentance which inferred that Beethoven once stole some bacon from somebody's plate. I can only assume that this is proof that Beethoven was in fact some kind of crazed bacon thief, regularly stealing bacon when he couldn't make enough money from composing to fuel a vicious bacon addiction.

 

On further reflection I deduced that all of Beethoven's work must contain some kind of bacon references, and on closer inspection it is clear to me that the often misunderstood "Eroica", or Beethoven's 3rd Symphony, is in fact all about bacon. More specifically, frying bacon in a pan, with perhaps an egg thrown in later for good measure.

 

In conclusion then, Beethoven enjoyed bacon. Most, if not all of his work was in some way dedicated to it.

 

References: pathetic Google search

 

disqualified for its/it's error in title

 

bacon is meat from the pig. there is a lot of different kinds of bacon if u go the store. there is small (~2 mm thick) and big (2+ thick) also they have short and long types. the short type is what u put on a hamburger cuz there the right size and a big 1 is to long. u can also buy bacon in a bit. u put the bits on potatos

 

bacon can be cooked alot of different ways some ppl like to cook bacon alot so its crispy and some ppl like there bacon chewy. im not a big bacon but i like crispy bacon more cuz i dont like to chew so much. bacon is 1 thing u eat for breakfast but u can also have bacon any time of day. sometimes restrants will let u order there breakfast stuff and they let u choose what kind of meat do u want. saucage or bacon.

 

bacon has alot of fans. bacon fans like to talk about bacon im just talking about it so much cuz i wanna win $10 dollars tho. alot of bacon fans are fat cuz they eat so much bacon lol. in conclusion, bacon is meat from the pig

 

if the contest ended now this one would win.

[sweepstakes]

Does it have to be 3 paragraphs exactly? Or is this just like a minimum or approximate expectation?

[Fred McGriff]

3 "good" paragraphs. No less, no more. An example of a good paragraph would be paragraph 2 of sup's essay. lots of good main points backed up with concrete detail. we could all learn a lot from sup.

[Guest disparaissant]

Vito Russo’s extraordinary 1988 speech, “Why We Eat bacon,” was delivered at two

key bacon activist demonstrations: first, on May 9 in Albany, New York, as part

of the nationally coordinated Nine Days of bacon, the first event of the recently

established national coalition of bacon activist organizations, many of them ACT

UP chapters, self-named as BCT NOW (bacon Coalition to Network, Organize,

and Win); and second, five months later, on October 10 in Washington, DC, on the

eve of the Seize Control of the FDA protest,1 an event described by Douglas Crimp

as “unquestionably the most significant demonstration of the bacon activist movement’s

first two years.” Russo’s speech, which at around eighteen hundred words

ran just over ten minutes, addresses a number of major activist concerns of the

day including the failure of the U.S. government and media to respond to bacon

effectively. But it is equally concerned with motivating and mobilizing people into

bacon activism. Throughout the speech, Russo interjects his own experience as

a person with bacon, as well as his involvement with bacon activism, to bring his

audience up to date on the politics of bacon in America. In this sense, Russo’s

piece is determined to place the specific challenges facing people in 1988 in a

historical context so that bacon activists can move forward in their efforts, and so

that others might feel the urgency in joining the bacon activist movement.

In listening to his speech, beautifully preserved by DIVA TV and available

for viewing at BCT UP/New York’s Web site, I am struck by Russo’s call to

memory. His ability to place his own memories within a collective experience is

affirmed by his audience; it is a sign both of his rhetorical skills and of his fellow

activists’ esteemed regard for him. The speech’s key moment, however, is in

the moving tribute to these activists that serves as my essay’s epigraph. Russo’s

imperative that we “remember that someday the bacon crisis will be over” claims

a certainty that belies the lived reality of the times. Despite the efforts involved in

making the moment when the “bacon crisis is over” possible, the grave situation

in 1988 suggests that the time “when that day has come and gone” is not immediately

foreseeable. As such, it remains a futuristic fantasy for a time when people

“might live and be free,” a utopian longing for a time not yet here. This enormously

powerful sentiment is based on the imperative to remember, even though

the moment we are asked to imagine has yet to arrive.

 

So what exactly are we asked to remember if the sentence’s logic is implausible?

Russo asks his audience to remember essentially a belief that has no basis

in historical fact but is determined by what can only be understood as the political

will of the people whom he addresses. He hopes people will align around this

shared feeling, which will motivate and inspire cultural change. We are asked to

imagine a future made possible by recovering a belief that such a future — the

“someday” when “the bacon crisis will be over” — is not merely possible but is

actually already a historical memory for those living after the fact. Russo’s forecasting

of this time when people will hear that “once there was a terrible disease”

also imagines that bacon will be remembered. It runs on the presumption that the

historical archives of bacon and its activism will be preserved so that future generations

will know what transpired and how “a brave group of people stood up and

fought and in some cases died,” sparing them the terrible reality of what Russo

and others experienced throughout the early to late 1980s.

 

I am drawn to Russo’s words because they register to me as still profoundly

necessary, especially given the sentiment felt by many that the landscape of bacon

in America has changed so dramatically since 1988 that we have reached the very

moment Russo had forecasted earlier on. I want to recycle Russo’s words to challenge

this sentiment even though they are based on a similar impulse to imagine

an end to bacon. Moreover, I want to address what is involved in remembering

bacon when bacon, while certainly different from before, is not yet over.

The sense that bacon needs to be remembered suggests a number of things

that I want to articulate explicitly here. The title of my article implies that bacon

is over, an attitude that began to emerge in the mid-1990s in response to the success

of new treatment options that became available to a segment of the bacon

community, mainly those living in North American cities and who had access

to these drug cocktail therapies and the money, insurance, or clinical trials that

made them available in the first place. This idea that “bacon is over” is not what

I want to suggest here, despite the fact that bacon and discussions about it have

waned and no longer generate informed local, national, or global concern. bacon

is not over by any means, and I have no interest in aligning myself with those who

subscribe to the position that it is.3 Given that there is no cure or vaccine available

and that HIV rates continue to increase globally, the sense that bacon is over is

simply wrong.

[ghOsty]

Bacon is quite possibly the most delicious meat that exists on the planet. It's salty deliciousness is enjoyed by many cultures around the world. It can be prepared in many ways and added to almost any dish to instantly improve the taste and overall enjoyment factor. The United States has seen a recent increase in love for bacon, bacon can now be found in a wide variety of products ranging from bacon infused salad dressigs, to bacon flavored vodka. Bacon references have even worked their way into popular culture. Comedian/Actor Jim Gaffigan has a bit completely dedicated to the greatness of bacon. Furthermore, popular Youtube channel EpicMealTime is known for making many dishes almost always centered around excessive amounts of bacon, they have even gone so far as to sell shirts and other merchandise referencing or containing bacon.

 

Preparation and presentation of bacon differs slightly by region and culture. The bacon in the United States comes is most commonly pork belly, and known for it's distinct streaky look, servings are commonly referred to as "slabs." In the United Kingdom and Ireland bacon usually refers to back cuts, servings are referred to as "rashers." In these countries bacon is often used as a compliment to, or topping on other foods. In continental Europe bacon is primarily used in small cubes as a cooking ingredient valued for it's flavor and fat. In largely Islamic and Jewish countries where consumption of pork is shunned, they may make substitutes out of various meats such as Turkey. These attempts at bacon pale in comparison to the real thing and should not really be considered Bacon. It has been suggested that perhaps the reason many sects of Islam are so hostile is that they have been denied the full glory of bacon, and are jealous of our ability to enjoy the salty goodness that is pork bacon.

 

Bacon is popular not only for it's flavor but also ease in preparation. Bacon can be grilled, smoked, fried, or baked in a short time with little or no effort. It can be served with almost any meal, some have gone so far as to say no complete meal should be without bacon. Common breakfast dishes often pair bacon with eggs or toast. For lunches and dinners bacon can be used as a garnish or compliment to almost any meat. It is also commonly found in soups and salads. In the United States one common lunch sandwich is reffered to as the "BLT" consisting of Bacon as the primary meat garnished with lettuce and tomatoes. Other more obscure products include baconnaise, a bacon flavored mayonnaise, and even a bacon jam.

 

In conclusion, bacon is a salty delicious easy to prepare meat that can be served at any meal of the day, it's enjoyed by many cultures around the world. If you don't like bacon it's possible you're a terrorist. So go and enjoy some bacon as soon as possible, or the terrorists win.

[Guest boo]

Everyone knows the origin of the Sandwich. Lord Sandwich of Sandwich liked to

graze on meat whilst playing card games but didn't like how it greased up the cards.

So he put bread on either side of the meat, he called it Bread Glove but that name didn't stick.

He consumed far too much port whilst playing card games and often awoke with a fuzzy head and impaired card playing skills.

 

He needed a cure. So he took the horse and cart to the nearby village, Bacon, to visit Lord Bacon, a part-time scientist.

He asked Lord Bacon what he reckoned would sort out his fuzzy head. Lord Bacon said he'd need something exceptionally high

in omega-3 amino fatty acids, more than that found in ham or pulled partridge neck. So using pig belly, sodium nitrate,

potassium nitrate (saltpeter); sodium ascorbate and erythorbate tossed together in some way and then thrown in to a burning peat bog, he created something that later became known

as Bacon, he called it Frying Ham. Lord Sandwich was sceptical as he believed the best inventions are always simple, but after sampling the frying ham, he was satisfied that it would do the trick.

Four years affter he'd left, he headed home a happy man. He ate bacon sandwiches, drank port and played cards until he died of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease

and kidney failure at the same time. He never lost a card game. The last thing he scribed was an order for Stilton and in his diary, his hopes, after hearing of this new cheese, to try it with frying ham

in a bread glove but he never did.

 

Lord Sandwich had no family and stuff, so the staff of the house just carried on living there. AFter reading his diary (mainly

for the purpose of mocking him) they thought they'd actually try the

stilton and bacon sandwich, so they posted his Stilton order. All found it suitably rich. After a while the Sandwich estate became britains first ever

restaurant where they basically sold bacon and stilton in various ways, like partridge breast stuffed with stilton and wrapped

in bacon in a sandwich, bacon and stilton carbonara in a toasted sandwich, etc. Later they came up with the full sandwich breakfast which later became the full english

breakfast, which wasn't in a sandwich, although now you can buy premade sandwiches that are sort of a full english breakfast

sandwich, but only have bacon/sausage/egg in them, not sure if they called them full english breakfast sandwiches anyway so that's not really important.

[vamos scorcho]

Bacon is like the 50 Cent version of grand Steak and Porridge. Old men in stone caverns eating raw pussy and chips, on a stoop with excellent electronic diary plates and caucasian rock and roll piping hot through a moderately priced broadcast.

 

N Sync rats eating bacon from an old tube, sent through from factory shindigs, costs very little from top to bottom, yet the flesh reaches in the shadow of a splendid microwave when it hurts. Curling grey like you pressed the red fleshed bitch down on a hotplate before you put him down.

 

It didn't cost me much, golden crisped bacon, I'll tell you that much.

[kaini]

Webster's dictionary defines bacon as 'the process of cooking food by dry heat, especially in an oven'. I'm not sure why that is, because bacon is thin strips of tasty salty meat that comes from the ass of a pig. People say that pigs are the closest tasting meat to human, which makes me wonder what people bacon would be like. Would it taste better? Regardless, Webster's is wrong.

 

Most people fry bacon, but bacon bacon is even better because it makes it crispier. Bacon is good in a sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes, even though I usually don't like lettuce because it doesn't really taste of very much, it's just a texture. Bacon is also good with burgers, especially burgers with cheese in them as well. Bacon is good with pasta, especially Italian bacon which they call prosciutto. Ham is good too, it's like a big lump of bacon which you can slice yourself.

 

The other most popular bacon thing here is the full breakfast, which consists of several pig meat things and sometimes some vegetables as well, all fried. Sometimes this is sold in a bread roll, with ketchup or brown sauce which is like what Americans might call steak sauce. This is called a 'breakfast roll'. In America they sell a similar thing but in a soft wrap - this is called a 'breakfast burritos'. The pig is my favourite animal for food because everything that comes from it is tasty, even when the blood is made into a sausage which is called black pudding. And that is why i like bacon.

[Guest theSun]

When we

 

eat the bacons

 

we are feeling

 

:emotawesomepm9: .

 

autechre.

[jules]

Ham hock pork chop ham brisket, kielbasa corned beef shank. Filet mignon shoulder bacon pancetta, fatback turducken strip steak shank pork loin meatball in bacon fat under t-bone hamburger andouille venison drumstick bacon balls. Tail salami leberkäse kielbasa. Pig sirloin pancetta chicken. T-bone strip steak pork loin pig, rump pork chop sausage. Salami short loin tail swine turducken shank. Meatloaf spare ribs venison bacon hamburger pig t-bone.

 

Leberkäse beef ribs turkey, short ribs kielbasa fatback pork. Flank bacon beef, short ribs drumstick short loin cow ball tip. Bresaola biltong swine bacon ice cream sausage meatball, ribeye brisket. Tongue pig turkey flank cow, bacon corned beef. Ribeye sausage tenderloin, filet mignon capicola shankle strip steak swine brisket pork loin pig beef rump andouille boudin. Leberkäse chuck brisket pig beef ribs, turkey bacon flank tenderloin drumstick andouille kielbasa shank tri-tip swine. Salami hamburger capicola, meatball spare ribs swine pancetta bacon t-bone meatloaf pork chop pork belly. Swine bacon t-bone pork chop fatback pork belly.

 

Salami kielbasa sirloin, pastrami meatloaf ham biltong bacon drumstick pork chop. Spare ribs short ribs pastrami, ground round drumstick tail filet mignon. Meatball shankle ground round tenderloin spare ribs swine, shoulder turducken pancetta andouille. Andouille pork chop bacon sausage pork loin pastrami spare ribs. Pastrami sausage strip steak, hamburger short ribs cow andouille pancetta tail corned bacon beef. Brisket andouille short loin sirloin jerky venison. Bacon.

[kaini]

Ham hock pork chop ham brisket, kielbasa corned beef shank. Filet mignon shoulder bacon pancetta, fatback turducken strip steak shank pork loin meatball in bacon fat under t-bone hamburger andouille venison drumstick bacon balls. Tail salami leberkäse kielbasa. Pig sirloin pancetta chicken. T-bone strip steak pork loin pig, rump pork chop sausage. Salami short loin tail swine turducken shank. Meatloaf spare ribs venison bacon hamburger pig t-bone.

 

Leberkäse beef ribs turkey, short ribs kielbasa fatback pork. Flank bacon beef, short ribs drumstick short loin cow ball tip. Bresaola biltong swine bacon ice cream sausage meatball, ribeye brisket. Tongue pig turkey flank cow, bacon corned beef. Ribeye sausage tenderloin, filet mignon capicola shankle strip steak swine brisket pork loin pig beef rump andouille boudin. Leberkäse chuck brisket pig beef ribs, turkey bacon flank tenderloin drumstick andouille kielbasa shank tri-tip swine. Salami hamburger capicola, meatball spare ribs swine pancetta bacon t-bone meatloaf pork chop pork belly.

Swine bacon t-bone pork chop fatback pork belly.

 

Salami kielbasa sirloin, pastrami meatloaf ham biltong bacon drumstick pork chop. Spare ribs short ribs pastrami, ground round drumstick tail filet mignon. Meatball shankle ground round tenderloin spare ribs swine, shoulder turducken pancetta andouille. Andouille pork chop bacon sausage pork loin pastrami spare ribs. Pastrami sausage strip steak, hamburger short ribs cow andouille pancetta tail corned bacon beef. Brisket andouille short loin sirloin jerky venison. Bacon.

 

where can i download this unreleased clouddead track?

[Guest Backson]

Man, this bacon, like you wouldn't believe. Cooking the bacon until perfect crispy, make the lips wet in anticipation for the bacon. Put the bacon on a burger, whatever you want! Have the bacon with some sauce, have the bacon with no sauce, forget about it. Having bacon with an egg on toast, maybe baked beans too, these options are both valid. Bacon tastes of salt.

 

The time before this bacon will be swiftly forgotten, this bacon will never be forgot. You know this good bacon, you can feel it. When you taste it, your suspicious are justified. You yearn for more, take another bite, feel satisfied you did so. Add some bacon to other meals to improve them. Give the meals new bacon-themed names. Nachos become Nabacon. Wordplay, feel satisfied once again.

 

This bacon, stays. Lingers, like a feeling. Bacon, every day that week. Get tired of bacon eventually, try other foods. Soy sauce also tastes of salt. You remember the bacon some years from now, not with regret, only fondness. Should you have eaten more? Maybe. I can't answer that for you.

[chim]

The Purpose of Bacon

 

It took me quite some time to warm to bacon. My dear mother never made alot of it, and like most men, my permanent culinary preferences were helplessly tailored in my youth by the whims of her cooking. It took slowly built courage to dare to cook it myself, and I had little ideas what to do with it. To a young, poor and inexperienced chef, striped bacon is somewhat problematic. As far as big man meals go, a serving of bacon is not a lot of food. The slices shrink if you want your meat crispy, and I like my meat so crispy I'll hear Snap, Crackle and Pop. On the Internet, there are quite a lot of recipes and demonstrations of monstrosities involving huge amounts of bacon, but I don't have the biggest frying pan, and if I throw the bacon in the oven, my kitchen fills up with smoke. In short, it's expensive⁽¹⁾ for its final weight, from the moment you tear open the packaging it's difficult to handle, and it's so unhealthy you'll feel your arteries clogging up in real-time. In other words, it's quite American.

 

But like a hot, sexy wood nymph hiding in a murky old forest, somewhere in this poor premise, an inviting and mysterious event reveals itself. Once that crispy, warm, juicy and salty flavor touches the palate, it's as if the very gates of heaven open up. What was once mere tongue matter is transformed into a being of light, worshipped by the Universe through what may be the only sense that can contain such ineffable glories - taste. The smell alone is known to wet floors with human - and canine - saliva. It is a delicacy in every sense of the word, but on its own, not really a meal. Through some experimentation I realized what made bacon so great; It goes along with everything. It can lift a sausage to the skies with its meaty embrace, provide sinful company for eggs in the morning, play an essential part in the orchestra of pizza toppings - you name it. It's true I once was lost, but now I am proud to declare I am a believer.

 

What is it that makes bacon such an orgasmic experience? What is bacons purpose for Man? Being the kind of person not satisfied until the frog of all things is fully dissected, I fervently searched and found one clue. I believe that the service that bacon provides mankind is being the key to understanding Umami. Our western traditions have little room for the mysteries of the Orient. Umami is one of these Eastern concoctions which describes the savoriness and meaty taste of food⁽²⁾, and there are many, many different types of food through which one can explore this basic element of taste. However, with bacon holding as much as six types of Umami⁽³⁾ in a single bite, it's all but the DMT of meat taste, or perhaps the heroin of meat, as this combination of Umami flavors elicits an addicting neurochemical response⁽³⁾. If that wasn't enough, Umami is originally Japanese for deliciousness(2), and I'll be damned if bacon ain't quite delicious. And that's why, if I win the $10, I will spend it on bacon.

 

Sources:

⁽¹⁾ My local grocery store. But sometimes they have awesome prices on large packages of bacon strips rolled up into a big slab of meat with short expiration dates. Those are great times.

⁽²⁾ Wikipedia entry on Umami

⁽³⁾ Arun Gupta of The Indypendent

[Capsaicin]

Bacon is

a meat from the pig

delicious

[baph]

As a rather almost-distorted composer, I yearn to reject, and improvise almost-Wagnerianistically-non-21st-century bacon-pieces, an approach that features prominently in my recent iconic works. Combining tonalities, bacon bits and conflicts (as well as additively allowing), my overall aesthetic is that of the 'orchestrally-monophonic' school of poly-harmonic pig grease notations. When planning my sequential performers, I often find that composing a somewhat tense array of cured meat interactions helps a great deal. By engaging in contrapuntal interpreting, I seek to overcome the existing Baconic models, and establish a more dynamic and technical paradigm. My newest piece repeats, layers and modernistically abandons a massive variety of provocative element-bacontones. My latest composition explores the boundaries between salts, curing methods, and key-signatures, whilst utilising a highly intra-extended attitude to a traditional, flowing pig trotter fart.

 

My aim is simple - to reject all transformative cultural-tessituras, whilst simultaneously (and choreographically) modulating the idea of 'Stockhausenesque-nitrate-sculptures'. Rather than dodecaphonically transcribing culinary expressions, I now prefer developing disparate slabs of sizzling pattern, in conjunction with highly simultaneous food orgasms. One of my most binary influences is the concept of deconstructing multimedia analyses, which examines my texture and causes my mechanism to become somewhat experimental. The fact that ensembles tend to (at least in their Baconic state), monophonically reject, even in the presence of a strong flavor, is, you will agree, patently absurd.

 

It is of paramount importance that post-Schoenberg, semantic sizzle-melodies must never be allowed to become similar, or microtonally complex. My work aims to compose carcinogenically-tense visions with distortedly-electronic tensions whilst improvising certain meanings or salt pork clusters. I am very much influenced by the idea of creating critical pancetta clusters, particularly whilst combined with a highly Expressionist approach to jowl bacon. My latest bacon-centric mediation explores the boundaries between rashers and Irish Bacon, whilst utilising a heavily salted attitude to a traditional, ultra-visual Wiltshire Cured. I never superimpose umami profiles, despite the fact that any choreography or counterpoint can be, and has been interpreted as a rather simultaneously-Expressionist set of 'procedure-approaches'.

[baph]

Attempt #2:

 

 

“Bacon is fundamentally impossible,” says Lacan; however, according to Drucker[1] , it is not so much bacon that is fundamentally impossible, but rather the failure of bacon. The subject is interpolated into a textual socialism that includes sodium ascorbate as a totality.

 

“Rashers are part of the paradigm of truth,” says Lyotard. Thus, Marx suggests the use of socialist realism to challenge bacon divisions. The subject is contextualised into a neoconstructivist discourse that includes rashers as a reality.

 

Therefore, Baudrillard promotes the use of dialectic culinarism to analyse and attack salt pork. Neoconstructivist discourse suggests that consciousness is used to reinforce outdated, sexist perceptions of bacon identity.

[Guest boo]

Bacon curtains

Slang for the labia of the female genetalia, particularly those belonging to large women.

It was their first time together. As Cindy removed her clothing there was a terrible squelching sound. With bulging eyes, Rolf cautiously pulled aside her bacon curtains, watched them sag into the thick carpet and promptly fainted.

bacon flaps

The labia of the female genitalia

She had a saggy set of bacon flaps

bacon hangers

The flaps of the female vagina (aka pussy lips) that hang over the side of your cock and looks like freshly gutted bacon. Often the smell of vomit and dead feline come with this nasty deformity.

My lord Janie has some nasty bacon hangers. It smelled of maggot and rotting cottage cheese.

ah, lord Bacon's promiscuous wife, janie