andihow Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 sometime between 930pm and 11pm. usually. on weekends i just don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest M360 Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Whenever I'm in the forest or amongst trees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usagi Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 and I poop when I get a nice record in the mail. lol, I'd love to know the evolutionary basis behind this all-too-real phenomenon. I think this ^ and this: as soon as I get excited about anything are related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LimpyLoo Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 This is a proper shit thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 i pretty much only shit at work. is that weird? something about getting paid to shit thrills me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshuatxuk Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 I don't think I shit as often as other people. Should I be worried? I don't drink coffee. That might be why? I dunno, surely varies based on diet. Like how infrequent? Few days? beer shits are the worst. party farts / party sharts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 i pretty much only shit at work. is that weird? something about getting paid to shit thrills me. That's smart actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olo Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 beer shits are the worst. beer shits smell so pungently sweet. malt perhaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshuatxuk Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 poop log - 9:22 CST transmission successful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 When I run at full speed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HokusPoker Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Twenty minutes before the exam. Empty your bowels, free your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schlitze Posted November 14, 2013 Share Posted November 14, 2013 Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 shit update: shitting an hour late today. think it might have been all the cheese I ate yesterday... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J3FF3R00 Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there. Do you have a theory as to who it is? Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atom Dowry Firth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Some guy has been dropping bombs at the changing room at work for the last few months. He unloads early, when i go in there to change at 9am there is an unbearable smell of death in the room, and often skidmarks splattered all over the bowl, it doesn't smell like human. I have no idea what it is. It's got out of hand. On fridays there is usually a turd which looks like a fucking grenade bathing in the bowl (semi-submerged). Too big to flush, so the water level has risen to the rim :-I Had a bit of a brainstorming session at lunch today about how to deal with this because its getting to the point where we cant use the locker room. I suggested putting a sign on the door saying ''Ceasefire. No more bombs'' which led to another suggestion about plugging a little ghetto blaster with John Lennon - War Is Over, Give Peace A Chance playing on a loop to try and pacify the culprit. It's a complete warzone in there. Do you have a theory as to who it is? Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility? A guy I was working with over the summer was really into bodybuilding and had a crazy protein-rich diet going on. He rendered the toilets unuseable for hours after he'd been in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chim Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 beer shits are the worst. agreed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremymacgregor87 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 beer shits are the worst. agreed By 'worst' you mean 'best' and most thrilling, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YEK Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 the worst is the public bathrooms with just one toilet in them, you walk in and the smell of shit hits you like a ton of bricks. actually one time i went into gag reflex action it was so bad, some big mexican looking guy that was in before me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schlitze Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Do you have a theory as to who it is? Do you work with any gorillas? If so, that may be a possibility? I've got a fair idea who it is after yesterday. I went in at about 8.50am to get changed and in came a guy who can only be described as the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. This guy has been seen around the place but he's from a different department so shouldn't really be using this room. I caught a glimpse of him via the mirror and knew straight away he had come here to unleash the hydrogen bomb. I was changing in a little shower cubicle next to the two toilets, so i was out of sight, he thought was in there all alone so i stayed silent. He didn't even lock the door, he sat down and I heard a barely audible 'ttssssssssssss'' like someone had turned the gas on the cooker. The calm before the storm. Then an almighty ''PARP!'' like someone had stepped on a duck. From then on he sat for about another 20 seconds, his asshole coughing and spluttering, weird cracking noises and stuff. Then the door opened and the almighty stench filled the room. He muttered something like ''Damn that's a load off'' before waking straight out of the room. He hadn't wiped, flushed or washed his hands. I finished getting changed, unable to breathe. Against my better judgement, had a quick glimpse at the damage (my sleeve covering mouth and nostrils tightly) and it wasn't the grenade we usually see on a friday. It was more like beef olive and gravy with the bowl splattered like a Jackson Pollock painting. The marshmallow man had left it sitting there so that others could admire his work. Whether or not he has has been launching the grenades on a friday remains to be seen, but he is certainly the guy who has been filling the place with a deathly unhuman odour on a daily basis with his toxic slurry, which for some reason he chooses to bring to another department and leave for all to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impakt Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I wake up and take my morning bong hit, then I run to the bathroom and shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chim Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 beer shits are the worst. agreed By 'worst' you mean 'best' and most thrilling, right? I had a post-beer shit stewing all morning. It took a trip to town before it was ready to drop. The shit itself is very satisfying and smooth, most of the time - it's the pre-shit rumbling and borderline crowning that turns it into an exciting adventure for the whole family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneToThirtySix Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 When I gotta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 In college I was drunk on the roof of my dorm building with a group of people and one guy shit off the side of the roof. The same dorm building was later home to an unsavory terrorist who was heavily featured in the news this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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