Your pointless thoughts & observations

[ignatius]

On 10/4/2023 at 2:11 AM, cruising for burgers said:

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I almost scared myself to death just 1 hour ago or such... I don't do cocaine very often, must have done it like 4 or 5 times in my entire life... my 1st time was maybe last year or such... so, me and 2 friends came to my house with some beers and 4 grams of coke... on the second last line my friend was mentioning that people also die from coke overdose... and in the middle of that chat I started feeling something in my body I've never felt before... I'm too anxious to write it right now... just thinking about it... but yeah wtf dudes I don't think I'll touch that shit anymore... or do I need more practice?

I stopped drinking maybe 5 hours ago, am I on the clear to take 10mg of benzos? I'm still too fucking anxious can't stop shaking and I really need to chilllllllll pls Richie... I'm also a bit afraid to fall asleep right now... I'm very sleepy but I don't know, we've all heard stories about ppl that died in their sleep... I'm a bit paranoid maybe that's what you're thinking and you're totally right...

chances are if you don't have some kind of heart problem or blood clot anyeurism thing that you aren't going to die in your sleep. 

if you are still drunk then don't take benzos.. unless you've done this before and you know what to expect. also, which benzos? xanax or valium? 10mg xanax would be like being in a coma for 16 hours.  10mg valium is like 1mg xanax but a different vibe.  if you take .25mg xanax + 1 beer you'll be fine. but it's not advised to combine alcohol w/benzos because unexpected things can happen. 

also, benzos are not a long term solution to whatever someone is dealing with. they're a bandaid to get through something intense or for the once in a while mage anxiety overload that keeps you from functioning.  long term they are terrible for your brain and body and one of the more difficult things to detox/withdrawal/ween from. 

i've had very very good success with drinking yogi brand kava tea. sometimes 2 teabags in 1 cup or just making one cup then a 2nd cup right after. works well. takes about an hour or so and is kinda sneaky as a lot of the anxiety vanishes. not good to do it every day though as lot's of kava all the time can cause nausea in the middle of the night or it does so for me. 

also, when it comes to that death anxiety you have to be reasonable. or i do. i say you but i'm talking about me and how i have dealt w/shit because of the numerous health problems.  i have long ago surrendered to the inevitable and i'm much happier for it. i have control of nothing. i do the things i'm supposed to do in regards to my health and beyond that it's out of my hands. also i know that none of the things i experience with regards to bad health are going to be permanent. they pass after a while and my state of being will change usually for the better. i've mentioned all the bullshit here before but cancer meds, atrial fibrillation (fixed w/2 heart procedures), meniere's disease, GERD, celiac, back pain, shoulder pain etc.. i'm nothing if not a complex healthcare situation but it's all manageable.  your situation will also be manageable in some way i suspect. but it's always a battle to figure these things out and it took me a long time and just when i felt on solid ground something else would enter the picture and yay how exciting. but i can only control the things i can control. everything else.. whatever. 

and this tea works.. kava is a good thing for anxiety and mood and it was very surprising when it first realized it. 

i wish you luck in finding solid footing w/whatever you're dealing with. and as they say in AA.. you have to surrender to win. 

[zero]

48 minutes ago, ignatius said:

i wish you luck in finding solid footing w/whatever you're dealing with. and as they say in AA.. you have to surrender to win. 

very thoughtful post...but remember, he mentioned he rarely does blow, and was posting that shit after knowingly doing a bunch of lines. the purpose of cocaine is more or less to cause whoever snorts it to experience a shit ton of crazy brain thinking and anxiety lol. 

[ignatius]

41 minutes ago, zero said:

very thoughtful post...but remember, he mentioned he rarely does blow, and was posting that shit after knowingly doing a bunch of lines. the purpose of cocaine is more or less to cause whoever snorts it to experience a shit ton of crazy brain thinking and anxiety lol. 

yeah. totally. figured it was a good place to dump all those thoughts as food for thought in case the cycle repeats itself. 

also, blow + benzos = heart palpitations at best and heart attack/blood clot or similar at worst.  it's a bumpy ride doing the wrong chemicals at same time. 

 

[cruising for burgers]

thanks bros  

 

I got really scared cause I do believe I felt vertigo syndrome during around one hour for the 1st time in my life... no doubt I did too much cocaine for a newbie but still.... I've had bad trips with different drugs but this? ffs, my friend who stayed with me until I felt better wasn't even understanding what I was going trough... halfway he told me he was not getting what was happening to me cause he told me "dude I do believe u just need to relax cause your body is completely still and you're not balancing... and I've told him yeah I know you and I don't see it, physically it's not happening but eyes open or closed I kept feeling balancing like I was a pendulum... the music even slowed down and sped up in frequency with the speed I was balancing... like u said, I've been trough some hard trips and I could always asure myself that eventually it stops... but this time I couldn't... after balancing a lot I obviously threw up... is this making any sense? xoxo

 

oh btw generic .5mg diazepan it's what I have... I took 4? I think... but way after all this shit happened...

[prdctvsm]

[ignatius]

3 hours ago, cruising for burgers said:

thanks bros  

 

I got really scared cause I do believe I felt vertigo syndrome during around one hour for the 1st time in my life... no doubt I did too much cocaine for a newbie but still.... I've had bad trips with different drugs but this? ffs, my friend who stayed with me until I felt better wasn't even understanding what I was going trough... halfway he told me he was not getting what was happening to me cause he told me "dude I do believe u just need to relax cause your body is completely still and you're not balancing... and I've told him yeah I know you and I don't see it, physically it's not happening but eyes open or closed I kept feeling balancing like I was a pendulum... the music even slowed down and sped up in frequency with the speed I was balancing... like u said, I've been trough some hard trips and I could always asure myself that eventually it stops... but this time I couldn't... after balancing a lot I obviously threw up... is this making any sense? xoxo

 

oh btw generic .5mg diazepan it's what I have... I took 4? I think... but way after all this shit happened...

coke and booze can generate a gag response sometimes. like stomach convulsion.  .5mg valium hours after all that happened is probably fine. i mean.. you'd have known if it wasn't.

vertigo is some weird shit. dizziness, sudden feeling of being pushed, syncope, etc. inflammation, dehydration, panic, vasovagal response etc can trigger dizziness.. prolonged or momentary. 

sounds lake maybe cocaine isn't the drug for you? seems like all drugs carry some extra risk these days because so much risk of fentanyl in it. 

[user]

4 hours ago, ignatius said:

coke and booze can generate a gag response sometimes. like stomach convulsion.  .5mg valium hours after all that happened is probably fine. i mean.. you'd have known if it wasn't.

vertigo is some weird shit. dizziness, sudden feeling of being pushed, syncope, etc. inflammation, dehydration, panic, vasovagal response etc can trigger dizziness.. prolonged or momentary. 

sounds lake maybe cocaine isn't the drug for you? seems like all drugs carry some extra risk these days because so much risk of fentanyl in it. 

This really depends where you are, I think. Afaik this is negligible in Europe.  
Not sure how it is now and didn’t dig deep for these numbers but up until quite recently (2018 I think) various authorities (even in the states according to Google) reported up to 80% of seized cocaine being contaminated with levimasole, which comes with its own fun set of possible side-effects and future health-benefits. 

 

[user]

Recently welcomed a new housemate and since my current general mode of shitting is violently explosive and the walls in the apartment paper-thin I’ve been taking more train-shits than usual and it’s really not all that bad. Two things to keep in mind; make sure there’s toiletpaper (seems common on trains to be blasé about the shit tickets) and prepare for looks of disapproval and disgust when exiting the toilet. I try to sit down next to the first person to make eye contact to deal with the looks. 

[iococoi]

36 minutes ago, user said:

Recently welcomed a new housemate and since my current general mode of shitting is violently explosive and the walls in the apartment paper-thin I’ve been taking more train-shits than usual and it’s really not all that bad. Two things to keep in mind; make sure there’s toiletpaper (seems common on trains to be blasé about the shit tickets) and prepare for looks of disapproval and disgust when exiting the toilet. I try to sit down next to the first person to make eye contact to deal with the looks. 

you could buy/build a sound princess and keep "exploding" away ...

Quote

In 1988 Toto started selling the Otohime, a device that produces the sound of flowing water, for use in public restrooms and office buildings. The name, literally meaning "Sound Princess," is a pun on the name of a princess in a Japanese fairy tale. The product is attached to the wall of each stall and plays the sound of running water from a small speaker for 25 seconds when it is activated. By activating the Otohime when they use the toilet, even self-conscious women can make do with just one flush.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan#The_Sound_Princess

[Rubin Farr]

Why do British tabloids refer to celebrities only by their first name? 

[user]

12 hours ago, iococoi said:

you could buy/build a sound princess and keep "exploding" away ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan#The_Sound_Princess

That is an excellent idea, thanks!

An added bonus was reading the “anal hygiene” Wikipedia entry, which has some real gems. 

[cruising for burgers]

On 10/4/2023 at 5:31 PM, zero said:

1)R E L A X, B R O. no need to think bad thoughts at all. thoughts aren't reality. focus on breaths to calm the mind. yeah I know harder to do after drinking + coke...but u can try it.

it gets me more anxious when people tell me that (take deep breaths, etc...) and i realize i have no control over it... i don't believe alcohol had too much to do with it... i didn't drink more than like, 1 litre? and when the bad trip started i had stopped drinking for quite a while, hours...

On 10/4/2023 at 5:31 PM, zero said:

2)listen to calm music! we're on a music forum ffs

for the 1st time i quite enjoyed some of saw's songs... but some tracks i had to skip immediately cause they were everything but calm... i felt old atm lol... fast wobbly synth on GX1 Solo made me dizzy and looking at kaleidoscopes on the tv as well... yeah looking back makes sense it wouldn't mix well together...

ended up listening to The Keep soundtrack by Tangerine Dream, perfect soundtrack for that awful come down...

On 10/4/2023 at 5:31 PM, zero said:

3)don't take more shit hoping it will fix the first shit you took. that is bad! drinking more agua is a good idea. a ton of water or even like those sports drinks are what I'd say are a better idea. food helps...but yeah I know too much coke tells your brain food is a no no.

i only though about taking the diazepans after all the shit went away and i still felt terribly tired but couldn't fall asleep... i thought about taking them during the vertigo episode but i was able to realize that it wouldn't be a good idea...

On 10/5/2023 at 6:04 PM, ignatius said:

chances are if you don't have some kind of heart problem or blood clot aneurysm thing that you aren't going to die in your sleep. 

luckily i don't...

On 10/5/2023 at 6:04 PM, ignatius said:

i've had very very good success with drinking yogi brand kava tea. sometimes 2 teabags in 1 cup or just making one cup then a 2nd cup right after. works well. takes about an hour or so and is kinda sneaky as a lot of the anxiety vanishes. not good to do it every day though as lot's of kava all the time can cause nausea in the middle of the night or it does so for me. 

will try to find it and give it a try...

 

THANKS FOR YOUR WORDS DUDES!!!

 

 

Spoiler

btw, random thought, i learned a lot with watmm during all the years i've been around and somehow i've outgrown (quite a bit) the shitty bloke i once was... got tired of hearing my own voice and thoughts so i just surrender to the opposite, talk/type less, listen/read more... nice outcome...

Edited October 7, 2023 by cruising for burgers

[cruising for burgers]

13 hours ago, iococoi said:

you could buy/build a sound princess and keep "exploding" away ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan#The_Sound_Princess

does it play Toto's 'Africa' though?

[ignatius]

On 10/5/2023 at 10:26 PM, user said:

This really depends where you are, I think. Afaik this is negligible in Europe.  
Not sure how it is now and didn’t dig deep for these numbers but up until quite recently (2018 I think) various authorities (even in the states according to Google) reported up to 80% of seized cocaine being contaminated with levimasole, which comes with its own fun set of possible side-effects and future health-benefits. 

 

yeah.. def dependent on where you are. people can test for fentanyl as well and i'm sure there's some club drug dealers who check and then don't buy when it's got fentanyl. not that they all have some kind of code or whatever. 

mushrooms/LSD/Weed and psychedelics in general seem the safer bet.. but i know 2 people who's kids have died taking pills. both young. like 17 and 19 it think. one was told it was a xanax. he was at a house party. my friend's oldest kid. the other i'm not sure of circumstances but was similar situation. accidental. 

[cruising for burgers]

7 minutes ago, toaoaoad said:

In many cases the sound of running water won't cut it. There should be another setting that plays a constant sonic tapestry of rip-roaring loud farts, so yours will be totally camouflaged.

[user]

51 minutes ago, ignatius said:

yeah.. def dependent on where you are. people can test for fentanyl as well and i'm sure there's some club drug dealers who check and then don't buy when it's got fentanyl. not that they all have some kind of code or whatever. 

mushrooms/LSD/Weed and psychedelics in general seem the safer bet.. but i know 2 people who's kids have died taking pills. both young. like 17 and 19 it think. one was told it was a xanax. he was at a house party. my friend's oldest kid. the other i'm not sure of circumstances but was similar situation. accidental. 

Fucking hell, what a nightmare. 

I realise after some more reading that my references and general drug related axioma’s are somewhat outdated. I was aware of the ubiquity of fentanyl and how potent and potentially dangerous it is but completely unaware of how cheap it is and how much more likely it is that it ends up being sold as another drug. 
 

1 hour ago, toaoaoad said:

In many cases the sound of running water won't cut it. There should be another setting that plays a constant sonic tapestry of rip-roaring loud farts, so yours will be totally camouflaged.

This occurred to me as well.
Of course playing a random pre-recorded colonic symphony would not work unless my housemate would already be acquainted with my personal cacophony and therefore be able to distinguish it from the foley farts and vice versa. In which case camouflaging would no longer make sense.
 Highly personalised phase-cancellation might be the answer though. Throughout the coming days I will record as much of my drawerless jams as I can, after that it’s simply a matter of replacing the factory ROM in one of the more common sound princess models with a custom EEPROM. I’ve already found a service manual. A common household slope detector will instantly address the ram bus and an inverting op amp circuit (might get some burr browns for this actually) driving a high-output piezo electric horn transducer will take care of the rest. I expect to muffle at least 90% of the rms of my anus, any abnormal peaks will be cloaked and perceived as high pitched whines, or, in the worst case, the sound of rupturing the skin of a medium to large diameter hand drum. 
This will literally take no more than a couple cauliflowers, some onions, eggs and patience. Make the recordings and just make sure the dynamics are there but maybe add some subtle compression to make life easier.  The additional circuitry can be done on a bit of perf board and for the rest just use what you’ve got in your parts bin. Although I’m going fancy with the opamps there’s no need to use audio grade electrolytics or whatever.  

[zero]

3 hours ago, cruising for burgers said:

 

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btw, random thought, i learned a lot with watmm during all the years i've been around and somehow i've outgrown (quite a bit) the shitty bloke i once was... got tired of hearing my own voice and thoughts so i just surrender to the opposite, talk/type less, listen/read more... nice outcome...

haha yeah 4 real. anyone's who's posted on a forum for close to 20+ yrs would say the same thing. aging/maturity, right? can't stay the same 20 something yr old online persona forever. 

[YEK]

4 hours ago, toaoaoad said:

In many cases the sound of running water won't cut it. There should be another setting that plays a constant sonic tapestry of rip-roaring loud farts, so yours will be totally camouflaged.

^
might drive someone crazy 

all because of disguising farts

Edited October 8, 2023 by YEK

[cruising for burgers]

 

[iococoi]

Quote

Today, October 8, in 1984, the Ghostbusters are making headlines as paranormal activity increases all over New York City, causing great demand for their spirit-catching services

[iococoi]

Happy IndigenousPeoplesDay

[Walter Ostanek]

Do people with aphantasia not have a wank bank?

[iococoi]

essential

[luke viia]

my wardrobe has almost completely flipped from ripped jeans and t shirts to chinos and comfy sweaters.. is this just part of the aging process? 

[user]

18 hours ago, luke viia said:

my wardrobe has almost completely flipped from ripped jeans and t shirts to chinos and comfy sweaters.. is this just part of the aging process? 

I’d say so. It’ll flip back to ripped jeans and t-shirts for a bit around your 50s and then back to comfy sweaters and dark coloured chinos plus padded underwear. (Because of having a leaky dick or just being straight up incontinente.)