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CONFICKER IS COMING OH NOW WE'RE ALL FUCKED

sinicalypse

By sinicalypse
in General Banter

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

Posted
Posted

http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/132464

 

ok i've had like 5-10 fucking people come up to me telling me i need to strap on a digital magnum to perambulate through the endless arrays of internet vaginas of the world and seriously people think i'm brash and crazy for not fearing the next big internet virus, seeing as the only virus/worm/trojan/whatever i've caught was called the tai-pei virus way back circa 1996 and all it did was add 300 bytes of code to .exe files in DOS, a few of them with CRC checks were like oh n00z.

 

but anyways, i'm obviously a fucking idiot and wrong about life in general, so basically, the internet is gonna die tomorrow and you're all gonna catch STDs and have bloody credit card seminal discharges all over your place everything's gonna die y2k times 10 and seriously YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE RULES ANYMORE BECAUSE TOMORROW IS THE DAY OF WRECKONING OH FUCK THIS HELP PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE PESTILENCE THE PLAGUE THE PANDEMIC EPIDEMIC#$@#

 

and you think this doesn't matter to you, whattem!@? we were supposed to get konklaver today, and instead, we're dying at the hands of conficker tomorrow.

 

as always, aphex twin mocks us all@#$%R$#

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Guest Benedict Cumberbatch

Guest Benedict Cumberbatch

Posted
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yeah news sites are going crazy on this story. clearly its some anti-virus retailer trying to bump up its march sale

 

 

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mcbpete Grand Master

mcbpete

Posted
Posted

titter :laughing:

 

I'm surprised the papers haven't gone more mental with this one actually, I was thinking it was gonna be another case MILLENNIUM BUG OH NOES WE ARE ALL GONNA BY INVADED BY CYBER PIRATES!!

 

conficker/downadup needs a better PR agent

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

Posted
Posted
titter :laughing:

 

I'm surprised the papers haven't gone more mental with this one actually, I was thinking it was gonna be another case MILLENNIUM BUG OH NOES WE ARE ALL GONNA BY INVADED BY CYBER PIRATES!!

 

lol, they sorta have. my mother phoned me today

"you might to turn on the news. they're on about all sorts of computer stuff. it sounds serious."

if it's got to the stage where my mother is aware of it, it has entered mainstream culture.

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beneboi Grand Master

beneboi

Posted
Posted
lol, they sorta have. my mother phoned me today

 

my mom called me today worried about it. i told her it only affected the computers of 50+ year old fanatical women so maybe she should lay low on the internet for a little while and she hung up on me.

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

Posted
Posted

i can more or less tell what way shit is going to go down at work in the first 30 secs of a conversation

"if i could just get your email address?"

"sexychav69@aol.com"

"kyon_facepalm.jpg"

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Guest JohnTqs

Guest JohnTqs

Posted
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this virus was written by like 14 year old russian kids they said on 60 minutes. according to 60 minutes they had previously stolen 30,000 dollars from somebody and their government praised them for "stealing from the western pigs". this sounds like an enormous load of bullshit from 60 minutes but i'm not sure because isn't their reputation pretty good?

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

Posted
Posted
this virus was written by like 14 year old russian kids they said on 60 minutes. according to 60 minutes they had previously stolen 30,000 dollars from somebody and their government praised them for "stealing from the western pigs". this sounds like an enormous load of bullshit from 60 minutes but i'm not sure because isn't their reputation pretty good?

 

 

OMG

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sinicalypse Proficient

sinicalypse

Posted
  • Author
Posted

dude, those ex-russian satellite countries liek the ukraine and others decided in the early-mid 90s to invest in informational warfare... why do you think the old DOS/VGA demo scene was made by little foreign kids?!@

 

whilst we've got cheez whiz and x-box and mtv and all that good shit, boris out in the boondocks of russia has 31337h4x0rsk1llz

 

 

viruses affect stupid people.. it's like catching a STD or a DUI or getting audited for the IRS or getting busted with drugs if you're not racially profiled or set up by friends in jail who claim you're a dealer =D

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kaini Grand Master

kaini

Posted
Posted
http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/132464

 

ok i've had like 5-10 fucking people come up to me telling me i need to strap on a digital magnum to perambulate through the endless arrays of internet vaginas of the world and seriously people think i'm brash and crazy for not fearing the next big internet virus, seeing as the only virus/worm/trojan/whatever i've caught was called the tai-pei virus way back circa 1996 and all it did was add 300 bytes of code to .exe files in DOS, a few of them with CRC checks were like oh n00z.

 

but anyways, i'm obviously a fucking idiot and wrong about life in general, so basically, the internet is gonna die tomorrow and you're all gonna catch STDs and have bloody credit card seminal discharges all over your place everything's gonna die y2k times 10 and seriously YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THE RULES ANYMORE BECAUSE TOMORROW IS THE DAY OF WRECKONING OH FUCK THIS HELP PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE PESTILENCE THE PLAGUE THE PANDEMIC EPIDEMIC#$@#

 

and you think this doesn't matter to you, whattem!@? we were supposed to get konklaver today, and instead, we're dying at the hands of conficker tomorrow.

 

as always, aphex twin mocks us all@#$%R$#

 

when you try to read the paper tomorrow the WORDS WILL MELT FROM THE PAGE.

 

 

lol, they sorta have. my mother phoned me today

 

my mom called me today worried about it. i told her it only affected the computers of 50+ year old fanatical women so maybe she should lay low on the internet for a little while and she hung up on me.

 

this virus was written by like 14 year old russian kids they said on 60 minutes. according to 60 minutes they had previously stolen 30,000 dollars from somebody and their government praised them for "stealing from the western pigs". this sounds like an enormous load of bullshit from 60 minutes but i'm not sure because isn't their reputation pretty good?

 

 

you can't argue with Andy Rooney

 

dude, those ex-russian satellite countries liek the ukraine and others decided in the early-mid 90s to invest in informational warfare... why do you think the old DOS/VGA demo scene was made by little foreign kids?!@

 

whilst we've got cheez whiz and x-box and mtv and all that good shit, boris out in the boondocks of russia has 31337h4x0rsk1llz

 

 

viruses affect stupid people.. it's like catching a STD or a DUI or getting audited for the IRS or getting busted with drugs if you're not racially profiled or set up by friends in jail who claim you're a dealer =D

 

 

 

the future is a jackboot, stamping on the human face forever.
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Guest EDGEY

Guest EDGEY

Posted
Posted

One news report here had an interview with a "computer specialist" and he said, and I quote, "well it's got code and it was written by someone, so who knows how dangerous this is". Really? It has code? It was written by "someone"?

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sneaksta303 Grand Master

sneaksta303

Posted
Posted
ah i see now... i got about 6 copies of the same email at work in various states of "IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ" saying that no staff member can use USB drives.

 

and yeah, generally that 'mother rule' works. i remember my mum asking me about facebook about a month ago so it's officially trickled down.

 

lol... my mom had a facebook before me...

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