have you read the bible?

[Guest tht tne]

that is quite an atheist thing to say... are you telling me that no one in the bible knew who jesus would become?

 

Isaiah 9:2 The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined .

 

gee golly it's funny you should say that seeing as I am an atheist. I doubt there's any such thing as the future apart from its use as a conceptual tool. that isaiah quote is vague as shit. have you done any research into how the bible was put together e.g. the documentary hypothesis and such?

 

http://madmikesamerica.com/2011/04/six-failed-bible-prophecies/

 

i don't care about the documentary hypothesis because i have faith, but i appreciate your attempt to humor me

 

Malachi 3:1 Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the LORD of hosts.

[Guest nene multiple assgasms]

Hosea 13:16 The people of Samaria must bear their guilt,

because they have rebelled against their God.

They will fall by the sword;

their little ones will be dashed to the ground,

their pregnant women ripped open.”

 

they don't call him YHWH Tzevaot for nothin'.

[Redruth]

.

we are all brothers and sisters - and yet every morning a brother or a sister must take away my garbage. we are all brothers and sisters, but every day i must have a cigar, a coffee on ice, and such things

which my brothers and sisters have been wasting their health on in manufacturing, and i enjoy these things and 'need' them. we are all brothers and sisters, yet i live by working in a bank, doing sales work,

or a business that makes it costly for my brothers and sisters to live. we are all brothers and sisters, but i live on a salary paid me for persecuting, judging and condemning the thief or the prostitute whose

existence the whole tenor of my life tends to bring about and who i know ought not to be punished but reformed. we are all brothers and sisters, but i take a salary for preaching christianity, which i do not

myself believe in and which only serves to hinder people from understanding what christ truly wills. we are all brothers and sisters, but i will not give the poor the benefit of my educational, medical or literary

labors except for money. we are all brothers and sisters, yet i take a salary for being ready to kill, for teaching others to kill, or for making instruments of death. for those of us who live well, our entire lives

are a constant inconsistency. the more sensitive our conscience is, the more painful this contradiction will be to us.

.

[Atop]

I'ma write a sacred text dedicated to the Goddess of the Hunt and call it Dianaetics

 

PSALM No. 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9rN6YF5J_o

THROUGH THE STEAMING WOOOOOOOOOOOOODLAAAAAAAAAAAAANDS

 

I'ma need to find me an Egyptian prostitute and some Extenz

I've been in the process of reading it cover to cover off and on for many months now. the last book I read was galatians, so I'm pretty close to the end. actually, this thread has served as a reminder; I think I'll read another couple of books tonight. my favorite books so far have been ecclesiastes and song of solomon. acts of the apostles was more interesting than I expected. it seems the most diary-like of the books so far. also, it's interesting how the apostles lived together in a socialist commune. it's weird how in the old testament there's pretty much no concept of an afterlife. in ecclesiastes it outright says so. supposedly jesus' idea of an afterlife came from the greeks, not from jewish tradition.

proverbs, ecclesiastes, and song of solomon all go right hand-in-hand... i'd like you to point out where ecclesiastes says no afterlife though

maybe you're thinking of "eat, drink, and be merry: for tomorrow, we die" which does not equal no afterlife, plus solomon was human after all

it's to simple for most humans to understand, humans like things that are complicated

the bible is complicated too, look at revelation... once you know god then it's simple

Once you go Ialdabaoth you never go baock.

I sometimes keep my stash in a hollowed-out hotel bible

 

HOLY FUCKING LOL!!!!!

 

Ima bout to get all angry all powerful Jesus in this mug:

 

Mark chapter 11 verse 12 -19, where Jesus gets angry about being hungry and kills a tree (very unhippy/unhappy Jesus), and then tells his followers that they can be super powerful as well!

The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.

 

...

 

In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!” “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

 

 

who the fuck ever said Dianetics is a sacred text??????????????????????????????????????????????? Beck? Tom Cruise? Isaac Hayes? Lisa Marie Presley?

[Guest A/D]

favorite bible quote:

 

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

 

the parts of the book of Esther in the apocrypha are good too; it's a story of a woman successfully defending herself from a wrongful conviction. weird that it got cut out. .

[Atop]

whomever chose the books for the biblical canon were most likely men.

[baph]

Fucking prudes and their stories of donkey cocks and massive loads

[ganus]

I rage every time I read a post by tht tne to the point that I think I would probably get really angry just from seeing his avatar somewhere else somehow, like pavlov's dog hearing the dinner bell.

 

also my girlfriend's sister is a jew for jesus whatever that means and she posts horrible oblivious facebook statuses and then gets confused/angry when people question what she thinks they could possible mean.

some examples:

"I feel the jab of His rod"

"Ok Lord... here I am. BRING IT!!! Do what you need to do. I want YOU to come have your good pleasure in me."

[baph]

It's really a deep desire that's been sublimated in the Abrahamic religions; everyone just wants Zeus to turn into a swan and just totally dick the hell out of them, basically.

[skotosa]

The Republic (Plato) is my bible.

[Atop]

**crysturbates**

[jeremymacgregor87]

...Jesus didn't know he was Jesus, until he'd been chained to the radiator for some time...

[chenGOD]

Why not the Rig Veda or the Upanishads? They predate the mahabharata...none of the Chinese classics? Confucius' "Analects" and Mozi's "Mozi"* should at least be on there, though "Mencius", "Xunzi" and "Zhuangzi" (the second major Daoist text) should all be included really. Also do you mind if I edit your poll so that it says "Tao Te Ching"?

 

Also "trainspotting" should be on the list.

 

 

*A bunch of you hippie love-children would really dig "Mozi", he was all about the concept of universal love.

[Braintree]

The bible has a wicked sick ending. He turns out to be his own father. Time travel and everything y0!

[springymajig]

I grew up as a Christian, and in fact I clearly remember having to defend my religious views on this forum/Joyrex.com.

 

Eventually just grew out of it I guess.

 

So anyway I've only read bits of the bible mostly as a kid. The bits they make you read in Sunday school. I don't really remember much of it at all. AS an adult I haven't read any religious texts.

[Guest Sprigg]

I'm a Christian, though I'm not one of those crazies who goes around damning people to hell for their actions; it's between them and God. So yeah, definitely bring out the Bible on a regular basis, though my memory for it (or anything I read) is quite shit.

I plan on reading the Quran by the end of the year. Wanted to for some time, just never got around to it. Is there only one translation, or are there many, depending on the translator?

 

Anyone read the works of Rumi? Fantastic Sufi poet, and by far my favourite poet of all time; his works speak to me just as much as the Bible does, or anything else I've read.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumi

 

http://thinkexist.com/quotes/jalal_ad-din_rumi/

[eugene]

"Zhuangzi"

 

oh yes, i love his poetic, light-hearted nihilism. it feels more anti-sacred than sacred though

[vamos scorcho]

this is really, really good.

 

 

 

 

It is really doing the trick. I feel very inspired and I hope tomorrow I can wake up and exert a little more effort in 'doing my part.' Hmm. You can't look away or deny this stuff after you've gone through it.

[mlon]

hope this clears stuff up for you...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

[chenGOD]

"Zhuangzi"

 

oh yes, i love his poetic, light-hearted nihilism. it feels more anti-sacred than sacred though

I wouldn't really call him a nihilist. Certainly he says that there is neither good nor bad,but he contradicts that at times, for example the turtle story clearly brings morality into play.

I agree on the sacred bit to a degree as well, but his works are important in the Taoist religion (quick aside, many Koreans see Taoism as a cult). There is definite spirituality in his writing.

BTW if anyone is interested in reading him:

http://ctext.org/zhuangzi

[data]

it's to simple for most humans to understand, humans like things that are complicated

 

oh for fucking fucks sake ..

 

*bikes back out*

[Guest glasse]

HOLY FUCKING LOL!!!!!

 

Ima bout to get all angry all powerful Jesus in this mug:

 

Mark chapter 11 verse 12 -19, where Jesus gets angry about being hungry and kills a tree (very unhippy/unhappy Jesus), and then tells his followers that they can be super powerful as well!

The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.

 

...

 

In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!” “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

 

I'm pretty sure the fig tree is a metaphor for Israel. It foreshadows the curse that that will be placed on it for not accepting the Messiah.

 

Matthew 15:8-10

8 “‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 9 They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.

12 Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?”

13 He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. 14 Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”

 

So they are showing their 'leaves,' as in going through all the motions, looking good on the outside, but they aren't bearing any fruit or nourishing their community spiritually.

 

Luke 19:43-45

43 The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44 They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Destruction_of_Jerusalem#Destruction_of_Jerusalem

[Atop]

nah, I think it is a metaphor for superhuman powers...

[luke viia]

hell yeah i've read the bible, motherfucker

 

bhagavad gita pwns the bible in succinct practical & spiritual knowledge though imo

[TwiddleBot]

Read the bible way too many times growing up (far more than 10 times).. then I put it aside for about a decade. Funny, I just re-read Genesis the other day and saw it from a completely different perspective. For example I learned that if you live in ancient times, never get drunk because you may end up getting laid by your daughters or your angry concubine and not remember the next day.

 

You can literally see the tribal sausagefest sitting around in ancient Babylon ~600BC saying 'How can we control the masses' then piecemealing together polytheistic myths of the time into a book chock full of revisionist patriarchal religious propaganda to erase the followers of Astarte and other Mesopotamean goddesses. I honestly can't believe now that I ever took it literally as a kid. The greek myths are more consistent and less neurotic..

 

The N.T. on the other hand is where it's at.