A few films recently watched.

[Guest Mr Salads]

oh yes i do my friend, but i don't want to ruin this POS movie for the others on this board who were unfortunate enough to take your recommendation.

how do i do spoiler tags ont he new board? as soon as i find out i will hit you with the hammer.

 

here is a non spoilery review i found that is pretty much exactly how i felt about it :

 

 

Twist endings can be a mixed bag

 

When done right - 1960's "Psycho," 1968's "Planet of the Apes," 1973's "Soylent Green," 1994's "The Usual Suspects" and 1999's "The Sixth Sense" - they can elevate a film and leave you in such a state of shock that your jaw might drop all the way down to the sticky theater floor that is caked with spilled soda and stale popcorn.

 

However, when they are way too predictable or handled poorly - 2001's "Planet of the Apes," 2004's "The Forgotten," 2005's "Hide and Seek" and 2007's "The Number 23" and "Perfect Stranger" - they can make a bad movie seem even worse or change your whole opinion on an otherwise decent film.

 

And that's exactly what happens with director/screenwriter Jennifer Chambers Lynch's (daughter of renowned filmmaker David Lynch) "Surveillance," which is a respectable murder mystery until its contrived "big reveal" causes it to deflate faster than an inner tube that was just sat on by a morbidly obese person.

 

But once we learn the true identities of the individuals behind the manslaughters, "Surveillance" takes a whopping nosedive. You'd have to ask Lynch herself if the twist was supposed to be made obvious about 20 minutes into the movie, but even if it was intentional it still took away a lot of the mystery from the story. And the acting is fairly satisfactory throughout the entire film, but the performances from the killers become distractingly campy when they wreak havoc without the masks covering their faces.

 

Sure, "Surveillance" can be moderately amusing while the pieces of the puzzle are being put together, but as soon as you get a view of the final picture it's hard to get the bad taste out of your mouth.

 

Did a kid write that review? Hard to get the bad taste out of your mouth?

 

they can elevate a film and leave you in such a state of shock that your jaw might drop all the way down to the sticky theater floor that is caked with spilled soda and stale popcorn.

 

Look at that writing. Jesus christ.

 

 

Could the bad taste possibly, POSSIBLY, be from the scene where they strangle the girl and then suck the life out of her in an act of sexual deviance? I don't know. Maybe. I am sure when he sat down to watch this movie, he could have predicted that scene too. The motherfucker just knew what was gonna happen at every turn!

 

Did you for example know what would happen when the cops pulled over those people and started to fuck around with them? To me that was even worse than if they'd just raped them. It was so humiliating.

 

And really, what possible explanation is there that these killers managed to get a dead girl behind the wheel of a truck and then get it aimed long enough to hit all those cars? Did you anticipate anybody getting crushed by the truck. Did you anticipate the guy getting his head rolled over and his blood splattering all over his wife's face. What do these events in the movie have ANYTHING to do with the plot twist at the end? That's right. They don't. So why are you still talking about the twist man? Did you see the fucking movie, or are you like the reviewer you decided to quote. That's embarrassing shit to read.

 

 

What you just did was endorse a 12 year old's comprehension of that movie.

[awepittance]

so now we're just splitting hairs, you are upset that i am endorsing a 12 year old's take on the movie and i am criticizing a movie that appears to have been written by a 12 year old.

Any thinking 12 year old would be able to identify this movie as a piece of shit as well, so it's not really fair to criticize this writing style as being bad because it 'is at the level of a 12 year old' is unnecessary, you are implying a 12 year old has no shit detector, which i would argue they do.

 

and fine i'll just spoil this absolutely piece of shit movie, the way i've been protecting it has been embarrassing to myself and to anybody who appreciates good movies.

 

spoiler alert: the TWIST of the movie that the entire movie is building up to (some kind of half baked terribly derivative on a lonely road in a small town murder mystery) is that Bill Pullman and his partner at the end of the film (who for the entire movie you are lead to believe are cops investigating a murder) are actually..... WAIT FOR IT..... the MURDERERS!!!! WOAH that shit is clever isn't it?

[Guest Mr Salads]

oh yes i do my friend, but i don't want to ruin this POS movie for the others on this board who were unfortunate enough to take your recommendation.

how do i do spoiler tags ont he new board? as soon as i find out i will hit you with the hammer.

 

here is a non spoilery review i found that is pretty much exactly how i felt about it :

 

 

Twist endings can be a mixed bag

 

When done right - 1960's "Psycho," 1968's "Planet of the Apes," 1973's "Soylent Green," 1994's "The Usual Suspects" and 1999's "The Sixth Sense" - they can elevate a film and leave you in such a state of shock that your jaw might drop all the way down to the sticky theater floor that is caked with spilled soda and stale popcorn.

 

However, when they are way too predictable or handled poorly - 2001's "Planet of the Apes," 2004's "The Forgotten," 2005's "Hide and Seek" and 2007's "The Number 23" and "Perfect Stranger" - they can make a bad movie seem even worse or change your whole opinion on an otherwise decent film.

 

And that's exactly what happens with director/screenwriter Jennifer Chambers Lynch's (daughter of renowned filmmaker David Lynch) "Surveillance," which is a respectable murder mystery until its contrived "big reveal" causes it to deflate faster than an inner tube that was just sat on by a morbidly obese person.

 

But once we learn the true identities of the individuals behind the manslaughters, "Surveillance" takes a whopping nosedive. You'd have to ask Lynch herself if the twist was supposed to be made obvious about 20 minutes into the movie, but even if it was intentional it still took away a lot of the mystery from the story. And the acting is fairly satisfactory throughout the entire film, but the performances from the killers become distractingly campy when they wreak havoc without the masks covering their faces.

 

Sure, "Surveillance" can be moderately amusing while the pieces of the puzzle are being put together, but as soon as you get a view of the final picture it's hard to get the bad taste out of your mouth.

 

Did a kid write that review? Hard to get the bad taste out of your mouth?

 

they can elevate a film and leave you in such a state of shock that your jaw might drop all the way down to the sticky theater floor that is caked with spilled soda and stale popcorn.

 

Look at that writing. Jesus christ.

 

 

Could the bad taste possibly, POSSIBLY, be from the scene where they strangle the girl and then suck the life out of her in an act of sexual deviance? I don't know. Maybe. I am sure when he sat down to watch this movie, he could have predicted that scene too. The motherfucker just knew what was gonna happen at every turn!

 

Did you for example know what would happen when the cops pulled over those people and started to fuck around with them? To me that was even worse than if they'd just raped them. It was so humiliating.

 

And really, what possible explanation is there that these killers managed to get a dead girl behind the wheel of a truck and then get it aimed long enough to hit all those cars? Did you anticipate anybody getting crushed by the truck. Did you anticipate the guy getting his head rolled over and his blood splattering all over his wife's face. What do these events in the movie have ANYTHING to do with the plot twist at the end? That's right. They don't. So why are you still talking about the twist man? Did you see the fucking movie, or are you like the reviewer you decided to quote. That's embarrassing shit to read.

 

 

What you just did was endorse a 12 year old's comprehension of that movie.

 

so now we're just splitting hairs, you are upset that i am endorsing a 12 year old's take on the movie and i am criticizing a movie that appears to have been written by a 12 year old.

 

Im gonna split your face

[awepittance]

Napoleon complex comes to a head

[Guest Mr Salads]

Comes to your head

[awepittance]

i don't think anyone else in this thread shall be renting or buying a copy of Surveillance (hopefully)

[Guest Mr Salads]

What is the last good film you saw, tell the folks

[Guest zaphod]

the proposal 10/10

the lady friend who accompanied me to transformers 2 came by. i had already seen everything i wanted to see so it was her turn to decide. after smoking a significant amount of marijuana, we settled on the proposal, which i thought was a sequel to demolition man, since i haven't seen sandra bullock in a film since the early nineties.

we arrived at the multiplex to find the theater filled with dozens of chirpy white couples. i immediately turned and made for the exit. i was having a panic attack. i left the theater and headed for the parking lot to find the nearest asian american group coping mechanism. these are small groups of asians that exist in all public places in america that will form a physical barrier around the sufferer until he/she can deal with white culture again. they are usually mistaken for groups of japanese tourists. after doing a number of breathing exercises i went back into the theater to join my date.

the previews began. the first preview was for funny people, marketed as the third film from judd apatow, like anyone gives a shit. i noticed a thin celebrity impersonator had replaced seth rogen in the seth rogen role, and was excited until i saw that jason schwartzman was also in the film. out of habit, i felt the space between my eyebrows to make sure they hadn't joined. the second preview was for, i shit you not, a movie about guinea pigs. my vision ebbed and the panic set in, but i controlled myself. the feature began.

the proposal takes place in new york in 2123. dane cook, reverse aged through some miracle of special effects, plays an up and coming comic performer who works a day job at a publishing company. his boss is a canadian cyborg named margaret. her line of cyborgs is going to be discontinued. facing an eternity in cyborg hell, margaret recruits dane to accompany her on a journey to alaska, where a mythical oil derrick is said to be built on top of a cyborg shangri-la. dane despises margaret because she isn't human, but his comedy career is going nowhere, and margaret promises to take him to canada and train him when they are done, so he reluctantly agrees. they leave town pursued by the sinister gammy, played by betty white. gammy was cryogenically frozen in 1991, but a freak accident caused her to wake melded with her sleep chamber's internal computer. part cyborg, gammy's only wish is for the complete destruction of the human race. shortly after margaret and dane leave, gammy sets off a thermonuclear weapon in new york city, destroying the east coast. immediately, i could see that all bets were off.

the duo make their way to alaska using an oil pipeline that runs through the midwest and canada. along the way they encounter an underground society of comics and entertainers. despite their differences, margaret is affectionate for dane, and encourages him to get up on one of the improvised stages and perform in front of a crowd of mutants. dane is nervous at first, but eventually he lets his guard down, and unleashes the comic. margaret is so impressed that she begins to feel pangs of something...an emotion...love. they have sex under a highway in manitoba. having broken the cardinal robot law, that one cannot copulate with a human, margaret has no choice but to leave dane. she runs off before he wakes. dane is heartbroken. he plays a comedy club run by craig t. nelson and is booed off stage. nelson sees some talent in dane. he asks dane where he is headed. he explains the situation. nelson gives dane a bag of rice and a shotgun, plus some boots, and says he will drive dane to denali national park where the cyborg shangri-la is said to exist. they arrive on the stampede trail and dane bids farewell to craig t. nelson. the two have formed a bond and nelson isn't sure how to say goodbye. he tells dane that when he comes back, maybe he could adopt him and they could run the comedy club together. it is a sad moment, although kind of weird because it is established early on that dane has parents and is not an orphan. also he's about thirty.

dane finds margaret in a giant cavern under an oil derrick. according to legend, a device exists here that will turn a cyborg into a human, but with a great price. dane tells margaret that he loves her. she begins to cry, and as she is about to say she loves him, gammy bursts through the wall and punches a hole through margaret's chest. dane attempts to fight gammy off with his shotgun but it jams, and he realizes that craig t. nelson forgot to provide him with any ammo. he cradles margaret and prepares to die with her. suddenly, a truck plows into gammy, smashing her into a cloud of silicon. craig t. nelson steps out and waves at dane. he sees margaret, dying. dane asks if there's anything he can do. coach looks at the screen.

"i got a proposal to make". i nearly leapt out of my seat. they were saying the name of the movie, in the movie. i smacked my date on the throat and she went into shock.

craig t. nelson opens up his shirt to reveal a cyborg exoskeleton. "kid, i ain't never had much use for a heart", he says, tearing up, "but seein' you two there, her dying, that big hole in her chest like that, all that blood, everywhere, so much blood, i'd have to be a goddamn robot not to do something". dane looks at him. "you are a robot". nelson smiles. "ah, shit. can't get anything past ya." he rips out his cyborg heart and shoves it into margaret's chest. "take care of my comedy store for me." dane grins. they make a weird gesture with their hands, sort of like devil's horns but with different fingers, and craig t. nelson dies.

margaret comes to. the cavern is collapsing. "what about the device, the one that can turn you into a human?" she looks at dane. "i don't need it." they embrace. "i have everything i need right here." the movie ends.

 

probably the film of the year.

[Chris Moss Acid]

salads vs awepittence

 

this cracks me up

 

[takeshi]

i was having a panic attack. i left the theater and headed for the parking lot to find the nearest asian american group coping mechanism. these are small groups of asians that exist in all public places in america that will form a physical barrier around the sufferer until he/she can deal with white culture again. they are usually mistaken for groups of japanese tourists.

 

lol

[Guest tv_party]

lols abound. liked life aquatic though.

[Guest beatfanatic]

all i see is blah blah blah blah

[Overand]

the proposal 10/10

 

 

Sandra Bullock makes a lot of shitty movies that are usually not far off title wise from very dark and disturbing films.

 

28 Days vs. 28 Days Later...

The Proposal vs. The Proposition

Crash vs. Crash

 

In short, I hope some semi dyslexic tween bullock fan gets what's coming to them.

[Capsaicin]

holy shit zaphod

[Guest beatfanatic]

zaphod is channeling siniacalpyse

[Blir]

I'm going to see the Proposal and just imagine it's Zaphods version.

[Capsaicin]

Spirited Away - 8.5/10

[Siegecow]

The good the bad the ugly 9/10

butch cassidy + sundance kid 8/10

Public enemies 7/10

[lumpenprol]

Spirited Away - 8.5/10

 

aw, c'mon, it's a 10/10

[Capsaicin]

9.3/10

[Guest Iain C]

Doctor in Distress (1963). Campy, slightly raunchy British comedy. Wicked example of original Bausch and Lomb Rayban Wayfarers. Otherwise pretty poor. 3/10.

 

Basically the only films I watch are Channel 4's weekday matinees...

[patternoverlap]

Bruno - 6/10. Had some funny moments but overall felt more staged than Borat. ( Though I have no legit way of knowing whether this is true our not) Some of the homoerotic scenes made me flinch a bit, but I appreciated that the film was so unflinchingly gay.

[Guest Deep Fried Everything]

slumdog millionare - 7/10 - a good flick overall, and very beautifully shot, but to me it seemed like given the multiple plot lines and all of the different places the story took jamal, the characters never got to interact on a very deep level. i think that's because of the breadth of experiences the movie covered, so maybe it was inevitable. the love story really didn't draw me in, as i never felt that latika felt the same way about jamal as her did her... and given that was the whole point of the movie, for them to come together... well yeah, just not as effective. it was interesting to see bits and pieces of what it would be like growing up in the slums of india, rough just like life would be in many other slums.

[Guest atropa]

holy smoke - intriguing de(con)struction of masculinity and desire. became more interesting as it progressed. winslet was better than expected and keital still has good energy

 

gran torino - a different take on masculinity. overly sentimental and a falsely inflated, privileged sense of self worth. but I appreciated seeing eastwood's attempt to skew and undermine viewers expectations

 

rabbit proof fence - affecting story of three mixed raced children displaced from their families to be integrated into the dominant culture. the bulk of the narrative is their escape and trek across 1500 miles of 'rabbit proof' fencing dividing up parts of australia. sourced from a book written by the daughter of one of the children, molly craig. pretty powerful ending. as I understand, this was fairly provocative upon release, which it should be considering the subject matter. plus, christopher doyle excellent photography.

 

the scent of green papaya - this movie is gorgeous. the colors, the framing, the minimal script, the mood. really enjoyed it. i haven't read norwegian wood but i think this movie gives me comfort that anh hung tran was an informed, conscious choice for director.

 

lilith - really suprised me. robert rossen's last movie. jean syberg four years after breathless. warren beatty lead. gene hackman's second appearance and early performance of peter fonda. a moody camera, mature narrative, asks a lot of strong questions. the performances are solid across.

 

jonah who will be 25 in year 2000 - written by john berger and adapted by alain tanner; broadly about taking an account of one's life and actions and attempting to integrate an understanding or recognition of this into everyday life. in this case the characters are a range of leftist trying to integrate their politics as everyday experience while reconciling their past. berger's third collaboration with tanner. first read about this as a good counterpoint to godard's la chinoise in so far as an exploration of the revolutionary experience - though I haven't see the latter.

[Guest Mr Salads]

zaphod liked it so much bc he probably got laid with his ladyfriend after the movie.