Aphex Twin The Shocking Truth

[baph]

 

"You know what I spent the entire day doing?" Captain Richard D. James asked, unfastening the white strap at the top of his uniform jacket.

"I do not," said Cylob, looking up from the evening chair in the corner of his cabin. A journal of agricultural research lounged across his still-uniformed lap.

 

"Being told how fat I've gotten," Richard D. James snorted indignantly. "Would you believe that? This is what I get for agreeing to give a commencement speech. Thanks to that portrait they painted of us all after V'Ger and hung in the cafeteria, all those cadets seemed to expect me to have stopped aging at forty!"

 

"I suppose it came as a surprise to them to discover that you were only human after all," Cylob said wryly.

 

Richard D. James made a face and stopped undressing. Instead, he paced over to the mirror, his jacket flap hanging open. He scrutinized himself surreptitiously, trying to look casual. "You'd think people would have something a little more cerebral to say than to comment on how much more 'Richard Richard D. James' there is than there used to be, considering what we've accomplished."

 

"More to cherish," Cylob murmured innocently, his tone still Vulcan but his words unmistakeably affectionate.

 

Richard smiled at the words. "Is it really that noticeable, Cylob? I thought, with the belt..."

 

Cylob put the journal on a nearby table and stood, brushing off his uniform. He walked over to his reflection-absorbed bondmate and placed a gentle hand on either side of his midsection. "There is no logic in denying what is there," he said softly. Richard's pulse quickened as Cylob's breath tickled and stimulated his ear. "Your body is pleasing to me as it is. If you are not tired from the ceremony, I will teach you to appreciate it as I do."

 

Richard D. James's expression shifted from study to prizewinning smile. "Of course I've got the energy! Now you're starting to sound like one of them. Silly kids seem to think us more mature folks are all through having adventures."

 

"Those 'kids' are probably afraid that you've used up all the good adventures yourself," Cylob quipped. With a hand on Richard's lower back he led him away from the mirror and towards the bed.

 

"We *have* been through quite a lot, haven't we," Richard mused, one arm around Cylob's back. He lay down across the bed and helped Cylob climb on top of him.

 

Richard ran his fingers through Cylob's hair lazily as Cylob finished unfastening his jacket for him. The complicated uniforms always made lovemaking half-striptease, half-puzzlebox, but it only made it more tantalizing and satisfying when they were finally nude. He started to undress Cylob too, wondering if the Vulcan stayed in his uniform until bed lately purposely to give him this extra tease.

 

The wine-colored jackets deposited in a chair, the men next turned their attentions to the white shirts. Cylob pulled Richard D. James's shirt up to his armpits but made no effort to take it off completely. Instead, he turned his attentions to Richard D. James's belly, which now, unshackled by belt or jacket, threatened to declare mutiny against the pants and proclaim itself a new nation.

 

Cylob ran his hands over Richard D. James's paunch, concentrating on every action. "This much is a novelty for a Vulcan," he pointed out to his partner, who was still slightly sensitive about his weight from the events of the day. "We do not store fat in the way humans do. Therefore the exotic becomes the erotic."

 

"You're right, I've never seen a fat Vulcan," Richard D. James breathed. What was Cylob doing to his stomach?

 

A nose pressed into the soft cushion of midsection and then Cylob's thorough mouth began to lick. He nibbled patterns and swirls across Richard's skin, his hands somewhere underneath Richard's body lightly gripping his backside. Richard's head lolled into the pillow and he closed his eyes in delight as his stomach twitched at the attention.

 

He opened his eyes to find out why Cylob had stopped licking his belly and found his husband pulling off his own shirt. He quickly followed suit and soon both shirts lay on the same chair as the jackets, waiting to be joined very soon by pants.

 

Richard's hands were at his fly but before he could do anything about the pants situation Cylob had slammed his body down on top of him, pressing their bare chests together. He moaned at the sudden pleasurable contact. Inching his trapped hands out from under Cylob, he eventually worked them free and put them to use kneading Cylob's ass. Encouraged by this, the Vulcan humped him harder. Their erections brushed together through their trousers, and Richard D. James fidgeted around to align them.

 

Richard let out an ecstatic yelp as Cylob sucked at the base of his neck. Their bodies rubbed together in the familiar rhythm of decades of such nights. Cylob licked a slow, careful trail over Richard's chin up to his mouth, and reached it triumphantly with a deep, full kiss.

 

Their mouths merged wetly and energetically as they dove down each other's throats. Cylob's tongue was soft and agile and licked at all the places in Richard's mouth that it knew best, saying hello. Richard groaned into the kiss as he struggled to grind their hard penises together through the pants.

 

"You wish something?" Cylob teased, as Richard tugged at the back of Cylob's waistband clumsily.

 

"You," Richard grunted, his cheek pressed tightly against Cylob's.

 

"I'm right here," Cylob pointed out, emphasizing this by wrapping his tongue around the back of Richard's ear.

 

"No... pants... aaaaahhhh...." Richard was jelly from all the places Cylob's tongue had visited.

 

Cylob must have decided he was sufficiently teased, because he moved away from Richard D. James's body slightly in order to divest himself of his uniform pants. Richard D. James didn't waste any time in getting out of his own as well. Pants and boxers settled down agreeably in the chair with the other clothing and the men returned their attentions to each other's newly undressed bodies.

 

Cylob dove at Richard's belly again with his mouth, even as Richard fumbled around with his hands trying to pull Cylob into some kind of position condusive to sex. His penis ground into Cylob's chest hair, wanting attention. But Cylob was apparently preparing Richard's middle for something. He was leaving much more saliva across his skin than such body-licking would usually warrant.

 

Then he hauled himself up and positioned himself so that his erection jutted into Richard's belly fat. His face inches away from Richard's, he brushed a quick kiss onto his bondmate's mouth before thrusting against him.

 

The smooth, sensitive skin on Richard's stomach was new to the sensation of being fucked, and it was highly arousing to feel Cylob's genitalia moving against a part of his body it didn't usually touch. Cylob wrapped his thighs around Richard's penis so that it could slide comfortably into the crevice between Cylob's buttocks, with Cylob's balls resting on top of it. "Mmmmhhh."

 

Cylob ran his fingers into the Richard's thick, graying hair and cradled his head with both hands. It was close enough to a meld for Richard to feel the essence of Cylob's being humming away inside his consciousness. He loved this alien *so much*, this man who had been part of him for so many years... his loyal friend who had fought with him, explored with him, spent shore leaves and quiet nights with him, and was now making love to his stomach.

 

Richard pumped into the tight space between Cylob's legs. He knew Cylob was getting close to coming; he could feel the other man's penis tensing as Cylob held his breath momentarily. Richard craned his neck to reach the tip of Cylob's ear with his tongue and flicked it roughly. With a gasp, Cylob came, spilling his passion out upon Richard's midsection. Richard climaxed a moment later and they held each other, eyes closed, breathing heavily, until their orgasms finished.

 

Richard was surprised out of his happy stupor when Cylob wriggled out of his arms to return his attention yet again to Richard's stomach, which was now covered in glistening gelatinous Vulcan semen. Cylob proceeded to lick Richard's skin clean, dragging his tongue across the wet evidence of his own climax. Richard filed the intensely erotic image away in his mind for boring staff meetings with the admiralty.

 

When he was finished, Cylob lay down next to Richard and rested his head against the other pillow in the bed. His face turned to Richard and he simply looked at him, with big, deep, beautiful eyes. One eyebrow rose slightly, which was Vulcan for Was it good for you?.

 

"Wonderful, as always," Richard breathed, lifting Cylob's hand to his mouth and kissing his knuckles. "Very thorough. I'm glad you think so highly of my..." He looked down across the expanse of his body.

 

"As long as you are healthy, t'hy'la. This is natural for your genetic body type."

 

"You have a very creative way of making up for what those cadets were saying," Richard D. James flirted.

 

"Thank you. I am grateful, however, that they selected this particular manifestation of your aging on which to comment."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Imagine my acrobatics if the conversation all day had been about your graying hair."

 

i mean lets be honest cylob IS spock

 

i feel dirty eugghghhg

 

Oh... oh my.

[kaini]

Boxing Day waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were HATERS AND FAGGOTS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Sirch were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Boxing Day was an IDM for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be an IDM daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the WATMM he knew there were HATERS AND FAGGOTS. "This is JOYREX" the radio crackered. "You must fight the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS!"

So Boxing Day gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS

"I will shoot at him" said the kaini and he fired the rocket missiles. Boxing Day plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the HATERS AND FAGGOTS" he shouted

The radio said "No, Boxing Day. You are the HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

And then Boxing Day was a zombie.

[vamos scorcho]

kaini that is some funny shit.

[Guest Al5x]

I'm in

[kaini]

is like shooting HATERS AND FAGGOTS in barrel.

[YEK]

april fools day is for fools. i'm not a fool , i'm a winner.

[pan]

Hehe. You look just like him.

[Guest Calx Sherbet]

Hehe. You look just like him.

 

hey ezzy

 

bye ezzy

[Guest hahathhat]

i have to say, this thread really would have failed but for peoples' strong desire to rip on boxing day.

 

Boxing Day waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were HATERS AND FAGGOTS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Sirch were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Boxing Day was an IDM for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be an IDM daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the WATMM he knew there were HATERS AND FAGGOTS. "This is JOYREX" the radio crackered. "You must fight the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS!"

So Boxing Day gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS

"I will shoot at him" said the kaini and he fired the rocket missiles. Boxing Day plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the HATERS AND FAGGOTS" he shouted

The radio said "No, Boxing Day. You are the HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

And then Boxing Day was a zombie.

 

quality.

[mcbpete]

You can't ban featured artists.

No, but we can ban you...

[Guest Iain C]

how many people would be willing to get banned for a week in return for the reinstatement of ezkerraldean and the banning of boxing day?

 

god, i'd do it in a heartbeat. i don't really care about ezkerraldean but i'd love to see the back of boxing day.

[delet...]

he's alright, you're all alright.

 

[Guest bitroast]

i have to say, this thread really would have failed but for peoples' strong desire to rip on boxing day.

 

Boxing Day waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were HATERS AND FAGGOTS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Sirch were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Boxing Day was an IDM for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be an IDM daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the WATMM he knew there were HATERS AND FAGGOTS. "This is JOYREX" the radio crackered. "You must fight the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS!"

So Boxing Day gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS

"I will shoot at him" said the kaini and he fired the rocket missiles. Boxing Day plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the HATERS AND FAGGOTS" he shouted

The radio said "No, Boxing Day. You are the HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

And then Boxing Day was a zombie.

 

quality.

 

bahahaha. best post.

[Boxing Day]

Boxing Day waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were HATERS AND FAGGOTS in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Sirch were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Boxing Day was an IDM for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be an IDM daddy."

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the WATMM he knew there were HATERS AND FAGGOTS. "This is JOYREX" the radio crackered. "You must fight the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS!"

So Boxing Day gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the DUBSTEP AND TECHNOS

"I will shoot at him" said the kaini and he fired the rocket missiles. Boxing Day plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the HATERS AND FAGGOTS" he shouted

The radio said "No, Boxing Day. You are the HATERS AND FAGGOTS"

And then Boxing Day was a zombie.

 

LOL, you care enough about me to write all that.

 

what a loser.

[Silent Member]

it's doom fan fiction. I like the benn jordan adaptation.

[Guest disparaissant]

kaini next can you do boxing day: reloaded by christian humber? would particularly like to see chapter 3: the super sayin idm worlf

[kaini]

i was thinking of doing tara gilesbie's 'my immortal'. that shit is gold.

[Boxing Day]

I'm loving the attention, lol.

 

 

 

[Blir]

It's fucked up that somebody who fills the forum with absolute tripe can carry on unbanned whereas another user actually says funny stuff without being wholly pointless gets banned.

 

I mean, at least Troon twat though he is actually recommends good music once in a while. Boxing Day is like a black hole.

[Guest disparaissant]

do it up maaaan

[Boxing Day]

Some people like me by the way.

[Blir]

Some people like me by the way.

 

Yeah I'm sure a study of you and your friends in a room together could provide great insight into the long-term effects of alcohol consumption while pregnant.

[Boxing Day]

My mom is a saint. fuck off.

[Guest disparaissant]

My mom is a saint. fuck off.

look taking communion every 15 minutes while pregnant doesn't make one holy

 

wow that was REALLY mean

 

[dr lopez]

uh oh guys. jr is in this thread.

 

let's all cool off a little.