stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[Squee]

How the hell do I deal with my friend's girlfriend who ruins the mood every time we hang out?

She's always extremely negative, her humour is way different from the rest of ours (and she'll point this out), won't shy away from blabbering about how intelligent she is, how enormous her IQ is (she's a member of mensa), and hates pretty much everything me and my friend (her boyfriend) like, watch or play when we hang out. I remember one time we were watching "On Cinema at the Cinema" and she ruined everyone's enjoyment by saying, "I don't find this funny at all. I don't understand what's so funny about this?".

Jesus fucking Christ.

She's also not working at the moment because she's on sick leave due to stress - and that's now all she talks about. Last time we hung out she started talking about it and I tried steering the conversation in a completely direction but she immediately managed to turn the conversation around again. Also, lately she starts out by saying, "Oh, I'm so tired" or "Oh, I don't feel so good" and none of us bother to ask her why any longer. But the problem is she'll continue until someone asks why - and BAM! We're back on topic talking about her being stressed. It was the first thing she said on New Year's Eve and stayed until 4 AM. 

I'm working so I'm keeping this short, but it has reached a point where I almost don't want to hang out with my friend when she's around... but she's ALWAYS there. Fuck.

[ignatius]

On 1/3/2023 at 7:24 PM, toaoaoad said:

Got a cracked tooth, dentist says it can't be fixed and will have to be pulled. Same one that had a root canal last year, a molar. The dentist doing the root canal kinda fucked it up, and although he fixed the mistake I kept holding out on getting the crown on it. Didn't want to shell out that much money if the tooth was going to have more problems down the road, which seemed highly possible. Since then I've just been chewing with it like normal, so it's been a ticking time bomb and here we are. Great start to the new year lol

in december i spent $1800 on a crown/cleaning/replacing old fillings.  the crown was because i waited too long to replace the old filling in that tooth and the tooth cracked. at least now all the old fillings are out. i thought about just getting the tooth extracted but it was still salvageable so.. money go poof!

 

[J3FF3R00]

1 hour ago, Squee said:

How the hell do I deal with my friend's girlfriend who ruins the mood every time we hang out?

She's always extremely negative, her humour is way different from the rest of ours (and she'll point this out), won't shy away from blabbering about how intelligent she is, how enormous her IQ is (she's a member of mensa), and hates pretty much everything me and my friend (her boyfriend) like, watch or play when we hang out. I remember one time we were watching "On Cinema at the Cinema" and she ruined everyone's enjoyment by saying, "I don't find this funny at all. I don't understand what's so funny about this?".

Jesus fucking Christ.

She's also not working at the moment because she's on sick leave due to stress - and that's now all she talks about. Last time we hung out she started talking about it and I tried steering the conversation in a completely direction but she immediately managed to turn the conversation around again. Also, lately she starts out by saying, "Oh, I'm so tired" or "Oh, I don't feel so good" and none of us bother to ask her why any longer. But the problem is she'll continue until someone asks why - and BAM! We're back on topic talking about her being stressed. It was the first thing she said on New Year's Eve and stayed until 4 AM. 

I'm working so I'm keeping this short, but it has reached a point where I almost don't want to hang out with my friend when she's around... but she's ALWAYS there. Fuck.

I feel you, home skillet. It’s a tough situation because I imagine your friend would take offense if you said that you didn’t want to be around his special lady. Some people would be defensive about that, for sure. If he’s a good friend, there’s a chance he might understand as long as you were clear about how much his friendship meant to you and if you made clear that it was about your feelings and not sound like you were attacking her. 
Another thing, if you have that conversation, it might lessen the blow if you build it up really big before giving away any details of the conversation that there’s something you have to say that you’re feeling terrible about and how it really worries you how he will take what you are about to say because his friendship means so much to you, etc. He might start thinking that what you are about to say is SO BAD that when you actually tell him that you feel uncomfortable around his ladyfriend his reaction could be softer. 
Another strategy: find out things she really doesn’t like (sounds like you have a few ideas) and make those things constant features of your interactions, to the point where she doesn’t want to be around you instead of it having to go the other way. Or, maybe find some men’s only or limited attendance (like concert ticket or something) activities that you guys can be alone in. 
I’m throwing spaghetti at the wall here. 

[usagi]

2 hours ago, Squee said:

How the hell do I deal with my friend's girlfriend who ruins the mood every time we hang out?

She's always extremely negative, her humour is way different from the rest of ours (and she'll point this out), won't shy away from blabbering about how intelligent she is, how enormous her IQ is (she's a member of mensa), and hates pretty much everything me and my friend (her boyfriend) like, watch or play when we hang out. I remember one time we were watching "On Cinema at the Cinema" and she ruined everyone's enjoyment by saying, "I don't find this funny at all. I don't understand what's so funny about this?".

Jesus fucking Christ.

She's also not working at the moment because she's on sick leave due to stress - and that's now all she talks about. Last time we hung out she started talking about it and I tried steering the conversation in a completely direction but she immediately managed to turn the conversation around again. Also, lately she starts out by saying, "Oh, I'm so tired" or "Oh, I don't feel so good" and none of us bother to ask her why any longer. But the problem is she'll continue until someone asks why - and BAM! We're back on topic talking about her being stressed. It was the first thing she said on New Year's Eve and stayed until 4 AM. 

I'm working so I'm keeping this short, but it has reached a point where I almost don't want to hang out with my friend when she's around... but she's ALWAYS there. Fuck.

introduce her to idm. tell her it's intelligent music and she's really intelligent so it's practically made for people like her. then play Gantz Graf very loudly.

[usagi]

followed by Beetles. make sure you explain the heat vs night controversy and ask for her opinion.

[ignatius]

2 hours ago, Squee said:

but it has reached a point where I almost don't want to hang out with my friend when she's around... but she's ALWAYS there. Fuck.

tell her that xanax works great for stress.

i don't recommend this but in the 90s a friend of a friend did some really awkward stuff to creep out someone he didn't want coming around. 

the next time she's over while you're playing video games w/your friend just leave the bathroom door open while you have a nice poo.  your friend may not come around again either though. 

 

[ambermonk]

6 hours ago, Squee said:

How the hell do I deal with my friend's girlfriend who ruins the mood every time we hang out?

She's always extremely negative, her humour is way different from the rest of ours (and she'll point this out), won't shy away from blabbering about how intelligent she is, how enormous her IQ is (she's a member of mensa), and hates pretty much everything me and my friend (her boyfriend) like, watch or play when we hang out. I remember one time we were watching "On Cinema at the Cinema" and she ruined everyone's enjoyment by saying, "I don't find this funny at all. I don't understand what's so funny about this?".

Jesus fucking Christ.

She's also not working at the moment because she's on sick leave due to stress - and that's now all she talks about. Last time we hung out she started talking about it and I tried steering the conversation in a completely direction but she immediately managed to turn the conversation around again. Also, lately she starts out by saying, "Oh, I'm so tired" or "Oh, I don't feel so good" and none of us bother to ask her why any longer. But the problem is she'll continue until someone asks why - and BAM! We're back on topic talking about her being stressed. It was the first thing she said on New Year's Eve and stayed until 4 AM. 

I'm working so I'm keeping this short, but it has reached a point where I almost don't want to hang out with my friend when she's around... but she's ALWAYS there. Fuck.

I'm sorry. She sounds like a massive pain in the ass.

Why does she always have to be around though? Can't your friend explain to her that you guys need some "bro time" every now and then?

[Squee]

7 hours ago, J3FF3R00 said:

I feel you, home skillet. It’s a tough situation because I imagine your friend would take offense if you said that you didn’t want to be around his special lady. Some people would be defensive about that, for sure. If he’s a good friend, there’s a chance he might understand as long as you were clear about how much his friendship meant to you and if you made clear that it was about your feelings and not sound like you were attacking her. 
Another thing, if you have that conversation, it might lessen the blow if you build it up really big before giving away any details of the conversation that there’s something you have to say that you’re feeling terrible about and how it really worries you how he will take what you are about to say because his friendship means so much to you, etc. He might start thinking that what you are about to say is SO BAD that when you actually tell him that you feel uncomfortable around his ladyfriend his reaction could be softer. 
Another strategy: find out things she really doesn’t like (sounds like you have a few ideas) and make those things constant features of your interactions, to the point where she doesn’t want to be around you instead of it having to go the other way. Or, maybe find some men’s only or limited attendance (like concert ticket or something) activities that you guys can be alone in. 
I’m throwing spaghetti at the wall here. 

Yeah, I’ve known him for 30 years so I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship by saying something stupid. But I sometimes think that he’s slightly annoyed by her presence when we’re hanging out. 
Apparently, it doesn’t take a lot to trigger her “stress” and one night we were playing Neon White and it “affected” her so much that she had to leave the living room. You basically just run around in that game but that was enough to fuck her up.  

 

6 hours ago, usagi said:

introduce her to idm. tell her it's intelligent music and she's really intelligent so it's practically made for people like her. then play Gantz Graf very loudly.

Haha, I did play that tune once. The silence was deafening. 

 

6 hours ago, ignatius said:

tell her that xanax works great for stress.

i don't recommend this but in the 90s a friend of a friend did some really awkward stuff to creep out someone he didn't want coming around. 

the next time she's over while you're playing video games w/your friend just leave the bathroom door open while you have a nice poo.  your friend may not come around again either though. 

 

I’ll spike her tea and see what happens. 

 

1 hour ago, ambermonk said:

I'm sorry. She sounds like a massive pain in the ass.

Why does she always have to be around though? Can't your friend explain to her that you guys need some "bro time" every now and then?

I think she tags along because my girlfriend is part of our group. But my girlfriend is “one of the guys” and will be the one laughing the loudest if we find a video of someone throwing up. New Year’s Eve I found the BEST video of a guy almost throwing up and everyone loved it - except the odd one out who just sat there looking insulted as if someone had farted her in the face. 

[Danny O Flannagin]

17 hours ago, Squee said:

 I remember one time we were watching "On Cinema at the Cinema" and she ruined everyone's enjoyment by saying, "I don't find this funny at all. I don't understand what's so funny about this?".
 

Sounds like her IQ is realling coming in handy

[Squee]

1 hour ago, Danny O Flannagin said:

Sounds like her IQ is realling coming in handy

I think her IQ is through the roof... the social intelligence though... not so much.

Anyway, I should just ignore it. Don't want to ruin a good friendship because of her.

[usagi]

I'm familiar with this variety of twat. I expect if you confronted her she would just make up some excuse for her behaviour rather than really introspecting. it's not worth attacking directly if you feel your friendship with your pal will be jeopardised. your best bet imo is as jefferoo suggested, quietly squeeze her out of gatherings by saying "we're going to have a <something you won't like> night, maybe next time" and then forever keep making it next time. also maybe drop some hints to your pal that he should be rid of her? can't imagine she's doing him any good.

[Squee]

44 minutes ago, usagi said:

also maybe drop some hints to your pal that he should be rid of her? can't imagine she's doing him any good.

Hahaha... "so I was thinking..."

[ignatius]

8 hours ago, Squee said:

I think her IQ is through the roof... the social intelligence though... not so much.

Anyway, I should just ignore it. Don't want to ruin a good friendship because of her.

just let the farts escape when she's around. loud, silent.. whatever. 

[beerwolf]

Yo!

Last year a great friend of mine and me decided it would be a most excellent idea to go to Green Man Festival. I haven’t been to a festival for a number of years and was really looking forward to it. Just thought I’d casually go over to the festival website and have discovered it sold out in 4 hours back in September. FUCKING FUCK YOU!!

I presume Green Man has now become trendy and is a cool in thing to do and put up pictures on a social media platform?

GO FUCK A CUNTING GOAT!!!

I’M COMING ANYWAY WITH A FUCKING AXE!!!

(only joking but I am seriously peeved off about this)

Edited January 6, 2023 by beerwolf

[beerwolf]

Just thought about Bloodstock. Always meant to go there for fucking decades. It’s the first week of January. The whole fucking thing is already sold out. End Of The Road festival. All sold out.

Seriously. Why are festivals sold out in January? Someone please explain. Fucking weird. 

[Squee]

6 minutes ago, beerwolf said:

Just thought about Bloodstock. Always meant to go there for fucking decades. It’s the first week of January. The whole fucking thing is already sold out. End Of The Road festival. All sold out.

Seriously. Why are festivals sold out in January? Someone please explain. Fucking weird. 

Don't people sell their tickets online? Or are they ten times the normal price?

[beerwolf]

 

10 minutes ago, Squee said:

Don't people sell their tickets online? Or are they ten times the normal price?

I dunno mate. I’m out the loop nowadays. I ain’t being mugged off and paying some fucking gimp a grand for a festival ticket. Of that you can be certain. 

[Squee]

Holy shit, I want to punch my friend’s son in the face. 

[J3FF3R00]

13 hours ago, Squee said:

Holy shit, I want to punch my friend’s son in the face. 

Details!

 

My current problem is that I called the police on a couple that were having a crazy fight outside my house (bloody murder screaming and loud banging noises alerted me to the fight) and the police didn’t come so I called again after over an hour passed and they were still screaming and fighting but inside the car. It was really fucking scary but it’s dark and rainy out so I couldn’t tell if they were beating up each other or the inside of the car, if it’s the car then that car must be really fucked up inside because I was in my house and could hear loud banging over our tv volume. Over 2 hours have passed and still no cops so I’m going to bed. My neighborhood is ghetto adjacent so you know… 
 

 

[Squee]

4 hours ago, J3FF3R00 said:

Details!

 

My current problem is that I called the police on a couple that were having a crazy fight outside my house (bloody murder screaming and loud banging noises alerted me to the fight) and the police didn’t come so I called again after over an hour passed and they were still screaming and fighting but inside the car. It was really fucking scary but it’s dark and rainy out so I couldn’t tell if they were beating up each other or the inside of the car, if it’s the car then that car must be really fucked up inside because I was in my house and could hear loud banging over our tv volume. Over 2 hours have passed and still no cops so I’m going to bed. My neighborhood is ghetto adjacent so you know… 
 

 

I was visiting a friend and his kid is the most annoying and dominating piece of shit. He’s 3. He picked up their cat by grabbing it by its tail, threw toys at his parents, did everything he could to make as much noise as possible to annoy his little sister who was sleeping. He grabbed his dad’s beard and pulled with all of his might, he threw the cat down the stairs and much much more. 
 

And nobody told him “no”. Instead they said, “please don’t do that.”

[beerwolf]

Have a medium sized hangover but it was worth it. Got to fix a puncture which is the 5th or 6th I’ve had in a fortnight. There’s obviously something in the tyre floating about which I can’t locate and is very frustrating. Tempted to put a fresh third inner tube in but don’t want that to fuck it up. Such a minor task and the only job I have to do today but with my deflated (pun intended) energy levels seems like an absolute monstrous task of epic proportions. Zzzzzz.

[J3FF3R00]

2 hours ago, Squee said:

And nobody told him “no”. Instead they said, “please don’t do that.”

 This is the worst part.

That is fucking terrible. I’m not sure if your friends prescribe to the method of not saying no on purpose but I know that is a thing. Whatever the case, that kid needs an exorcist. 

[Zephyr_Nova]

14 hours ago, Squee said:

I was visiting a friend and his kid is the most annoying and dominating piece of shit. He’s 3. He picked up their cat by grabbing it by its tail, threw toys at his parents, did everything he could to make as much noise as possible to annoy his little sister who was sleeping. He grabbed his dad’s beard and pulled with all of his might, he threw the cat down the stairs and much much more. 
 

And nobody told him “no”. Instead they said, “please don’t do that.”

Yowza.  Baby psychopath.  How did he get to that point?  My brother and his partner use the phrase "no thank you" on my nephew anytime he's doing something disagreeable. Keeps him in check while keeping the mood light.  Probably wouldn't help in this case though.  Your "I want to punch my friend's son in the face" statement seemed extreme until I read the story behind it.  Fair.

[ignatius]

14 hours ago, Squee said:

I was visiting a friend and his kid is the most annoying and dominating piece of shit. He’s 3. He picked up their cat by grabbing it by its tail, threw toys at his parents, did everything he could to make as much noise as possible to annoy his little sister who was sleeping. He grabbed his dad’s beard and pulled with all of his might, he threw the cat down the stairs and much much more. 
 

And nobody told him “no”. Instead they said, “please don’t do that.”

they should have a 2nd kid. 

[Squee]

10 hours ago, ignatius said:

they should have a 2nd kid. 

Kid no. 2 popped out 3 months ago.