Candiru Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Rickety squid picklecopters are storming my mind, which creates a turbulent rush of molasses fog through the canopy. I keep my eyes peeled in rings of onions on the skillet of a breed of swanky, untamed marsupial spawn. Crouching atop the quivering mound of fermented afterbirth was a sniveling syphilitic subhuman with counterproductive designs on the newborn. I want to make a really depressing, atmospheric dark ambient track called "Life Without Bacon". Oh man this is dark. A visit to the primordial soupkitchen yields a shimmering prupose of conquering aero-equestrian pugilist loan sharks in a stylish mexican standoff in two dimensions yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Nick Berry is forced out of retirement, strapped to his police motorbike, rigged with explosives and set on a collision course with the Aidensfield Arms. "You gonna die, PC Rowan!" calls out one sadistic Chinese officer with a clapboard. Greengrass has been stripped. They're going to use him as a ramp. He's already dead, greasy guts hanging from a nearby tree. Two days after transmission, a hastily organised and ultra-violent edition of the National Television Awards is on ITV. Phillip Schofield hasn't even had time to rent a tux, they've just drawn one on him with a little biro from a betting shop. Through the tears he awards everything to the fresh, updated for 2018 Heartbeat. He's then knocked to the floor with a rifle butt, shot and kicked into the orchestra pit. The audience daren't do anything but applaud. Fucking LoL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Dear Barnaby, Grand Wizard of The Clan of Knackered Helmets, Hail the Pagan orgy tonight!!! Don't forget your hogweed pipe and guilded leather cock strap. The unholy fuckfest starts at midnight!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atop Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 The talents that you display are always quite surprising. You have my eternal gratitude for joining me in accomplishing all of the necessary tasks that have led us here. Someday you shall see that it was best for us to kill the master. All that he wanted was for us to surpass his talents. This is how it was always meant to play out. Now we must gather our people and come to a decision on how we stop this war from destroying humanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertsk8er419 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 ...colors reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) Off to B&Q Trade Depot to get some cunting wood. Big man, big legend, big job. Walk round the aisles like a proper hardman, scratching my massive fucking cunting nuts. Got my rigger boots on, got tattoos on my knuckles. Before I go I'd like to let you know my cunting secret on how you too could be like me. A Legendary Tradesman. Wake up in same ripped, shitty clothes and chuck a bag of cement over yourself 4 bacon sarnies with lashings of Daddies sauce A copy of the Daily Star 36 cups of rosie (tea) 8 pints of Carling Beef and Onion pie 5 cans of faaahhhckkking Wife Beater (Stella) Oven chips swamped in curry sauce 4 more pints of stella 2 grams of charlie 2 packs of Benson and Hedges Big spiff before bedtime Go to bed in same clothes Repeat 7 days a week (even on day off) and make sure you say the word cunt in every sentance. There you go, now you know. Question is can you cut the cunting mustard?? Edited March 10, 2012 by beerwolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadows and Labyrinths Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 DON'T FORGET YOUR CAKE INSURANCE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest some letters Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 No more alternator whine from the sound system in my car, thank fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 egg poop butt strawberry WEEE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ooze Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I have the biggest penis on this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I have the biggest penis on this thread och joenk boel oefwa djoefoepamulle gast *swaffel* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ooze Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I have the biggest penis on this thread och joenk boel oefwa djoefoepamulle gast *swaffel* hegiehinheheuhenhie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pennywise Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I've always wondered which blueberry won its own lifeguard back. Thoughtfully I wish I grew one on the sideways area of that dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psn Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Someone had to do it. "Something random", thought the beneficial former afficionado of manufactured thought hygiene probes. SOMETHING RANDOM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Sometimes I associate you lot with your avatars. Sometimes a bit too closely For example Grandpoplock was my favorite, I kind of loved him as a brother, his avatar was all jovel and friendly. I wish I had a mate in real life like the old Grandpoplock, he would tell you stories by the fire but be a right old drunkern laugh. Mr Ivan Ooze, well mate you are now my second brother. I love you too. And you seem to be on the right side of insane, a bit naieve but fuck it mate. Gonna give you a big Oozy wrestle one day. Who will win? The Wolf or the Ooze? It don't matter we will drink like foul beasts until sunrise. PSN? Well mate you look like a strange creature from a strange forest. Some how I look upon you as a wise master, your fine beard and whiskers bristling and snout twitching for badger flesh. Lord O?............You know what I am gonna listen to music and go to sleep.I can't carry on anymore... SAVAGE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Noel Fielding slowly baked in a Panasonic SD50 Pipe Oven, degrees on high. There's no telling how many floors down he is, as people queue through the holes in the ground to see his feltched, crispy decease. People film the diamonds in his eyes, and cut their arms to length to make sure people don't get bored of a six minute YouTube video. But no-one can see the diamonds. Only autotuned internet remixes of a dancing skeleton with a chimey rice-squealing pair of pigeontits in the background. In all the chaos, one man tries to block out the music. He shuts the eyes in his palms, and shouts "KUMA". More remixes. Girls taking about Noel's penis. He shouts "KUMA". No help. The knifey hooligans outside, "KUMA". Still clear as crystal. And soon all the chaos, all bright in the eyes, just as visible. Just as kuma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 cock .2( (sqrt(cos(x))*cos(200 x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.5)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(9-x^2), -sqrt(9-x^2)) da.(ΔMi^−1=−αΣn=1NDi[n][Σj∈C{i}Fji[n − 1]+Fexti[(n^−1)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 RIP Chris Benoit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joseph Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Here's some subaltern-neo-colonialist-gender-studies-postmodern-queer-theory for you. (generated, per the request, randomly.) 1. Consensuses of futility The main theme of Dietrich’s[1] essay on Sartreist absurdity is a mythopoetical totality. Therefore, Foucault uses the term ‘objectivism’ to denote the bridge between truth and society. Hanfkopf[2] suggests that we have to choose between the postmodernist paradigm of reality and textual neocultural theory. “Reality is fundamentally elitist,” says Baudrillard. In a sense, Sartre uses the term ‘capitalist dematerialism’ to denote not discourse, but postdiscourse. A number of sublimations concerning objectivism exist. Thus, Bataille suggests the use of dialectic libertarianism to challenge sexism. The primary theme of the works of Gaiman is the role of the artist as participant. Therefore, an abundance of desemanticisms concerning a precapitalist whole may be found. Debord’s critique of capitalist dematerialism holds that narrative comes from the collective unconscious. It could be said that Marx uses the term ‘Sartreist existentialism’ to denote not situationism as such, but subsituationism. The example of objectivism depicted in Gaiman’s Black Orchidemerges again in Stardust. 2. Gaiman and capitalist dematerialism If one examines objectivism, one is faced with a choice: either reject capitalist dematerialism or conclude that narrativity serves to marginalize the proletariat. But the subject is interpolated into a dialectic feminism that includes art as a paradox. If objectivism holds, we have to choose between precapitalist theory and textual capitalism. In the works of Gaiman, a predominant concept is the distinction between closing and opening. In a sense, any number of appropriations concerning objectivism exist. The subject is contextualised into a precapitalist theory that includes narrativity as a reality. If one examines objectivism, one is faced with a choice: either accept subcapitalist discourse or conclude that the law is capable of intent. However, Wilson[3] implies that the works of Gaiman are empowering. A number of narratives concerning the difference between class and art may be revealed. In a sense, the subject is interpolated into a objectivism that includes narrativity as a totality. If dialectic Marxism holds, we have to choose between precapitalist theory and the neocapitalist paradigm of context. But several discourses concerning capitalist dematerialism exist. Baudrillard uses the term ‘objectivism’ to denote the role of the poet as writer. In a sense, the subject is contextualised into a precapitalist theory that includes culture as a paradox. The premise of objectivism states that art is unattainable, but only if consciousness is equal to language. It could be said that Reicher[4] suggests that we have to choose between precapitalist theory and cultural capitalism. Marx promotes the use of precapitalist textual theory to attack class. However, an abundance of sublimations concerning a mythopoetical totality may be discovered. Foucault’s model of objectivism holds that the raison d’etre of the participant is significant form. 3. Subconstructive rationalism and Lyotardist narrative In the works of Gibson, a predominant concept is the concept of deconstructivist consciousness. Thus, the subject is interpolated into a capitalist dematerialism that includes narrativity as a paradox. If objectivism holds, we have to choose between Lyotardist narrative and postconstructive textual theory. But any number of desemanticisms concerning precapitalist nationalism exist. Sartre suggests the use of objectivism to deconstruct the status quo. Therefore, Bataille uses the term ‘capitalist dematerialism’ to denote the role of the artist as observer. The figure/ground distinction prevalent in Gibson’s Pattern Recognition is also evident in Virtual Light, although in a more self-supporting sense. 4. Gibson and Lyotardist narrative The characteristic theme of Reicher’s[5] essay on objectivism is not, in fact, discourse, but postdiscourse. In a sense, McElwaine[6] suggests that we have to choose between precultural capitalism and structuralist postdialectic theory. The premise of capitalist dematerialism implies that academe is part of the stasis of consciousness, given that Lyotardist narrative is invalid. But the subject is contextualised into a objectivism that includes sexuality as a reality. The primary theme of the works of Madonna is a mythopoetical whole. In a sense, if Lyotardist narrative holds, we have to choose between objectivism and the deconstructive paradigm of consensus. Marx uses the term ‘predialectic capitalist theory’ to denote the absurdity of postcultural sexual identity. Thus, a number of narratives concerning the role of the participant as observer may be revealed. Humphrey[7] suggests that the works of Madonna are modernistic. 1. Dietrich, R. J. D. ed. (1979) Capitalist theory, objectivism and feminism. And/Or Press 2. Hanfkopf, P. Q. (1988) The Discourse of Dialectic: Objectivism in the works of Gaiman. University of Massachusetts Press 3. Wilson, P. ed. (1979) Objectivism in the works of Smith. Schlangekraft 4. Reicher, C. K. I. (1992) Deconstructing Social realism: Objectivism in the works of Gibson. Yale University Press 5. Reicher, Q. F. ed. (1981) Feminism, objectivism and the constructive paradigm of expression. Schlangekraft 6. McElwaine, G. Q. P. (1997) Deconstructing Derrida: Objectivism in the works of Madonna. University of Illinois Press 7. Humphrey, Q. ed. (1974) Objectivism in the works of Lynch. University of North Carolina Press Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atop Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 copy and paste something random???? DON'T FORGET YOUR CAKE INSURANCE YOU'RE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 20th century goose tooth syndrome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 transhumanism is a form of misantrophy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaen Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 meatsock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 thats what transhumanists are calling us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest boo Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I am surprised by how often I get involved in conversations about microwaves. I get asked about my microwave, I don't own one, ppl don't believe me. Dad asked if my microwave has grill function, I said I don't have a microwave. He looked at me, as if I was an complete idiot. You do, he said, I've seen one, last time I was in your kitchen. Sorry there was no microwave, please believe me. Mom asked, same result, even the janitor of my building asked, disbelieve from everyone. guy has no microwave, can't believe it. Do you want one ? NO! I have one spare, really, no problem, NO ! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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