Are you on the Autism Spectrum?

[cruising for burgers]

On 4/28/2016 at 12:52 PM, hello spiral said:

Do you post in or read the watmm

I think that's enough...

[auxien]

1 hour ago, Squee said:

15 out of 50.

I'm actually glad this topic got bumped, because I have this friend...

Long story short... a former colleague and good friend of mine called me a couple of years ago and said he wanted to apologise if he had ever acted strangely, because he had just been diagnosed with ADHD. I told him, "no man, you've never seem off to me in any way". To add some context, his parents have never really been there for him. It's not that they treated him badly, but their focus was on his sister. But he's an intelligent guy and very easy-going. But getting this diagnosis seemed to help him understand himself somehow.

6 months later I spoke to him again and in the meantime he had been reading up on autism and had diagnosed himself with autism. That in itself sounds absolutely insane - at least to me. But I would love to hear people's thoughts/experience with this?

But wait, there's more... he then diagnosed his daughter with autism as well. Then a little later his son and then finally his wife. Both kids are now home schooled because it's "best for them" and every time I hang out with him now he likes to get deep and talk about my familly for some fucking reason and every time he'll go, "Sorry, if I'm being too direct, but that's just the way my brain is wired".

And every time I think to myself, "No, man... I don't think that's the case. I think that you think that you're autistic and now you think these little quirks are due to you being "neurodivergent"."

Earlier this year he got fired from his job because he was "being too direct, but that's just because of how my brain is wired" and he's now a self-proclaimed expert and a therapist on the subject of neurodivergence and offers consultations.

Ok, timeout. Thoughts?

Great, now check this out...
 

  Reveal hidden contents

He's currently being professionally diagnosed and it turns out he might be autistic after all.

Thoughts?

short form thoughts: self diagnosis is always stupid. sure a Buzzfeed level quiz for the yucks like this one here might provide some hints at…something, but it ain’t shit to do with real diagnosis ofc.

diagnosing his kids is a potentially serious issue…he might not really mess the kids up or anything, but i can’t imagine he’s doing much good with that kind of shit.

he sounds like kind of a prick but not like evil or anything, probably.

if he’s actually somewhat neurodivergent/on the spectrum…ok? i mean i get it’s a little ironic or whatever but it’s called a spectrum for a reason. i’m not trying to downplay the real experiences of anyone who actually has any spectrum diagnoses, i’ve got near-zero experience personally (that i know of) or with others really either, but if he can function well enough in general society then he’s probably just trying to excuse his shitty tendencies (we all do it to some extent or another tho) but maybe yeah, possibly some underlying things there? doesn’t really matter if he’s a reasonably well-adjusted adult is what i’m thinking out loud about…

*the preceding blabber is not intended for judgment or diagnosis of others and should not have been read by any humans who value their own time.

Edited July 18, 2023 by auxien
double posted because…well, look around

[toaoaoad]

21 ... this test seems like a joke to me tho (I also think myers-briggs is bullshit, fwiw)

[toaoaoad]

6 hours ago, TubularCorporation said:

Now Sensory Processing Sensitivity tests I'm off the charts on, but that's too common to even be considered a disorder. That's just 20%-ish of the population who are congenitally weird and probably more like 80% of musicians.

cheers

[Satans Little Helper]

2 hours ago, Squee said:

I'm actually glad this topic got bumped, because I have this friend...

Long story short... 
Ok, timeout. Thoughts?

It's either what you think: he has told himself a story that he's <insert mental something> and now he acts it out (as a self fulfilling prophecy). Or there might be something more serious. I'm thinking about the early onset of some neurodegenerative disease where peoples personality can change. Who knows.

But generally speaking, I do believe people can get carried away with the stories they tell themselves about who they are. Or, more awkward, people with a bad lifestyle (eating habits, lack of exercise, too much social media, lack of social interactions) can show all sorts of weird behaviour. I dunno. But I do wonder from time to time. As everybody seems to be neurodivergent nowadays. It's the new normal. Bizarro world.

Spoiler

relevant?

 

 

Edited July 18, 2023 by Satans Little Helper

[Wunderbar]

Apparently i have autism but i have no super powers, I even suck at math. Its a real waste of autism imo.

 

[Wunderbar]

5 hours ago, dcom said:

35, which is not a surprise, because I am. I adjusted my answers towards the allistic, as I've taught myself how to human.

Doesn't everyone learn to human?  Isn't that called growing up, learning how to socialize with your fellow human.

[toaoaoad]

27 minutes ago, Satans Little Helper said:

But generally speaking, I do believe people can get carried away with the stories they tell themselves about who they are. Or, more awkward, people with a bad lifestyle (eating habits, lack of exercise, too much social media, lack of social interactions) can show all sorts of weird behaviour. I dunno. But I do wonder from time to time. As everybody seems to be neurodivergent nowadays. It's the new normal. Bizarro world.

We live in the age of identity. Everyone seems to need to "identify as" this and that. This is where easy things to tag onto like mild neurodivergence, vague mental health self-diagnoses, various light shades of queerness and gender that otherwise ostensibly cis-het people can still attribute to themselves - all come in handy. Now I can "identify as" something! It's not enough just to have various qualities and attributes anymore, now we need labels; I guess this is a byproduct of "branding" and hashtagging and the constant pursuit of attention in a noisy world? It's as if people are afraid you won't take them seriously, take note of their special characteristics, unless they have a label for it. Yet in this way the labels eventually become meaningless background noise, and the people who legitimately fall into those categories suffer for it. I have a few friends who walk around waving the "neurodivergent" flag too, you kinda just have to go along with it though. I'm not an expert, but can't help but feel like it's just part of this bigger phenomenon I just described.

Edited July 18, 2023 by toaoaoad

[dcom]

1 hour ago, Wunderbar said:

Doesn't everyone learn to human?  Isn't that called growing up, learning how to socialize with your fellow human.,

It's different for me.

Reading people in social and/or communication situations does not work for me or come to me naturally as it does for most others, so I've had to teach myself how to read posture, movement, facial expressions, tone of voice, vocabulary etc. and continuously contextually interpret them so that I don't miss cues that would make me commit social faux pas. It's an active foreground cognitive process for me, and very tiring, so social situations take the wind out of me very easily. I've always preferred to be by myself and not naturally socialize, but as it's unavoidable, I've had to learn how to acclimate myself to social situations to be a semi-unweird individual.

You're talking about the socialization process of a neurotypical with a connectome that's within the normal parameter range - I don't have that, so I have to compensate in other ways - but I don't think of myself as broken or dysfunctional, just wired differently. I will never know or mirror how someone feels - I also lack a lot of basic natural emotional responses - but I can read them, the situation and map my reading to what I know about emotional states, and how and why they're expressed, and select an appropriate response. I'm almost 50, so I'm pretty good at it, but I still fail, and weird people out. I also socially mask, meaning that I have ways of hiding personality traits that would out me as neurodivergent; I can easily pass as just a bit quirky, unless you really know what to look for.

It's not an identity, it's just something I've lived with all my life. I'm also clinically insane, but that doesn't define me either. It's definitely not fun at times, but I manage - better living through psychopharmacology.

 

Edited July 18, 2023 by dcom

[TubularCorporation]

1 hour ago, Satans Little Helper said:

he has told himself a story that he's <insert mental something> and now he acts it out (as a self fulfilling prophecy).

This is exactly why I'm so skeptical of anything that's self-diagnosed.  I just remember watching stuff like the pro-anorexia Livejournal community blow up in the early 00s...

 

I also think that people are, for the most part, uniquely UNqualified to look at theimselves objectively (physically, emotionally, psychologically, whatever).  I guess maybe if you literally achieve some kind of Buddhist enlightenment you might be able to see yourself objectively for a few seconds.

Edited July 18, 2023 by TubularCorporation

[TubularCorporation]

53 minutes ago, toaoaoad said:

I guess this is a byproduct of "branding" and hashtagging and the constant pursuit of attention in a noisy world?

I think about this a lot these days.  Like, I'm old enough that I wasn't heavily online until I was old enough to drive (and web 2.0 was at least 6 years away), but imagine if, from birth, the majority of your interctions are mediated by algorithms and optimizing your day to day life for discoverability/search engines.  Even having that hit in my 20s has completely changed nearly everything about how I have to interact with the world (because even if you go completely offline, everyone else is still online so it's still affecting all of your interactions indirectly) - being born into that must fuck you up so much.

 

Shit, my family didn't even have a TV set until I was at least 5 or 6 and not having that early childhood imprint of advertising is something I'll always be grateful for.

[TubularCorporation]

Looking at those last two posts, maybe I actually AM on the autism spectrum after all...

[Enthusiast]

I was diagnosed quite late in life with mild ASD at the behest of my now wife, whose father was on the spectrum and saw some of that in me. Almost nobody knows, I never tell people. It was good for me to know in the sense that I always thought I was a bit stupid, so I suppose it helped with my self esteem. But I left it at that, and I don't really understand much about ASD beyond what my own experience tells me. I always thought I just needed more practice at being better socially, even though I kept making the same mistakes over and over again. I can manage fine, but it is exhausting and I do like being alone. It was much harder when I was a teenager, but I never withdrew socially and I made lots of friends for life who just accepted me. If I had known then that I was different I'm not sure I would have been as outgoing. 

Edited July 18, 2023 by Enthusiast

[Brisbot]

I dunno. I have the ability to concentrate on one thing for like... all day if it interests me enough. I don't know anyone else like that. Can't tell you how many times people were surprised I've been working on something for many hours and am not bored. Hyperfixation.

Edited July 18, 2023 by Brisbot

[Squee]

11 hours ago, toaoaoad said:

We live in the age of identity. Everyone seems to need to "identify as" this and that. This is where easy things to tag onto like mild neurodivergence, vague mental health self-diagnoses, various light shades of queerness and gender that otherwise ostensibly cis-het people can still attribute to themselves - all come in handy. Now I can "identify as" something! It's not enough just to have various qualities and attributes anymore, now we need labels; I guess this is a byproduct of "branding" and hashtagging and the constant pursuit of attention in a noisy world? It's as if people are afraid you won't take them seriously, take note of their special characteristics, unless they have a label for it. Yet in this way the labels eventually become meaningless background noise, and the people who legitimately fall into those categories suffer for it. I have a few friends who walk around waving the "neurodivergent" flag too, you kinda just have to go along with it though. I'm not an expert, but can't help but feel like it's just part of this bigger phenomenon I just described.

11 hours ago, Satans Little Helper said:

It's either what you think: he has told himself a story that he's <insert mental something> and now he acts it out (as a self fulfilling prophecy). Or there might be something more serious. I'm thinking about the early onset of some neurodegenerative disease where peoples personality can change. Who knows.

But generally speaking, I do believe people can get carried away with the stories they tell themselves about who they are. Or, more awkward, people with a bad lifestyle (eating habits, lack of exercise, too much social media, lack of social interactions) can show all sorts of weird behaviour. I dunno. But I do wonder from time to time. As everybody seems to be neurodivergent nowadays. It's the new normal. Bizarro world.

  Reveal hidden contents

relevant?

 

 

[logakght]

It seems so.

[hoggy]

I don't think the issue is necessarily being overly specific about one's individual differences as much it is our understanding about what those specifics mean - for example if you know you're a bit autistic (but aren't having meltdowns or totally socially excluding yourself), you might either wear that as a badge of pride (which tbh I view pretty neutrally), or you could alternatively use that awareness to be a bit kinder to yourself if you're struggling with social situations and it's getting you down... I think what some people are in the beginning stages of realising is that humans operate more differently than we sometimes assume.

For example, knowing that I can be prone to feeling anxious and unmotivated makes me realise that sometimes I might need to make a conscious decision to discuss my thoughts with people I trust if I notice that my mood is dipping (even if it's not my first impulse), where someone who is more resilient might handle it differently - they might be able to just "cheer up" - which maybe I can do to an extent but it would be more like a skill I'm trying to work on than something I can "just do".

Likewise, someone who has difficulty with attention but whose life is not becoming a chaotic mess and therefore does not need medication, may need to develop strategies to manage it which they wouldn't automatically think of, such as working towards better sleep hygiene or incorporating physical exercise into their daily routine (things which none of us seem to find easy these days).

I definitely believe that on the whole, openly discussing mental illness and individual difference is waaaaay better than the more repressive culture I remember from decades past. My grandparents had to just cope with their misery alone for years, in order to maintain the illusion that everyone is happy and fine and normal.

[hoggy]

12 hours ago, TubularCorporation said:

I guess maybe if you literally achieve some kind of Buddhist enlightenment you might be able to see yourself objectively for a few seconds.

I kind of agree with Zizek on this - if you look deep inside yourself, you find shit - the story we tell ourselves about ourselves can be a total lie - he cites Mein Kampf as an example. The truth of who we are is in how we interact with others. There's that Buddhist joke:

While four monks are meditating, a prayer flag begins to flap in the breeze. The youngest monk stops and says, "Flag is flapping." An older monk corrects him: "No, wind is flapping." A wiser monk proclaims, "No, mind is flapping." The eldest concludes, "No, mouths are flapping."

Maybe it's possible to reach true enlightenment, but I don't know if you'd be able to judge whether you've reached it for yourself.

[logakght]

I got diagnosed with Asperger this year, at 28. It definitely answers many issues in my life, and it makes me think if I was actually miss-educated because of the supposed condition. But I find that it is extremely ambiguous, to the point where I can't point when the "Asperger" appears and when my "genuine personality" does. I'm not trying to be pretentious, but, for some reason, I do enjoy being more intellectual and deep, but recognizing that all I know is that I know nothing—when I'm not "being" that way it makes me feel false. So, I'm starting to think people tend to "act" like Characters in a theater because I see a lot of "superfluous" interactions between people and, for me, why would anyone waste time with frivolous shit when we have each others soul's mysteries to untangle? Yes, it is troubling.

[logakght]

Did the test and now it seems I don't have autism! But, what if, I actually "changed" myself to remove the "bad" parts of it and keep the good ones? I started a process of cleansing on 2014 when I finally admitted I felt lonely. It has been hard and arduos, and yes, I've been with psychologists and will start with a new one, but I do think it's possible to "be" this way without appearing too "weird", but then again, society tends to point out genuine expressions of self as "abnormal".

 

Edited July 19, 2023 by logakght

[hoggy]

10 minutes ago, logakght said:

I find that it is extremely ambiguous, to the point where I can't point when the "Asperger" appears and when my "genuine personality" does. I'm not trying to be pretentious, but, for some reason, I do enjoy being more intellectual and deep, but recognizing that all I know is that I know nothing—when I'm not "being" that way it makes me feel false.

I don't think there's a line between a mental condition and a genuine personality - the reason typically that we diagnose mental conditions is because they are causing some kind of harm to self or others. Also I don't think being intellectual and deep is really what Asperger's is about, I think it's more to do with social stuff, atypical information processing and reactions to stimuli. Like you don't have to be on the spectrum to be obsessed with history, or to talk about it so much that you're wearing people out, but whether you are or not on the spectrum, for some, having a diagnosis might help to make you aware of that and either try to temper the behaviour or not be too hard on yourself when you don't understand why people are avoiding conversations with you. I'm sure a diagnosis isn't always helpful for everyone, but there is most likely research on that too, though I haven't seen it myself.

 

[logakght]

3 minutes ago, hoggy said:

I don't think there's a line between a mental condition and a genuine personality - the reason typically that we diagnose mental conditions is because they are causing some kind of harm to self or others. Also I don't think being intellectual and deep is really what Asperger's is about, I think it's more to do with social stuff, atypical information processing and reactions to stimuli. Like you don't have to be on the spectrum to be obsessed with history, or to talk about it so much that you're wearing people out, but whether you are or not on the spectrum, for some, having a diagnosis might help to make you aware of that and either try to temper the behaviour or not be too hard on yourself when you don't understand why people are avoiding conversations with you. I'm sure a diagnosis isn't always helpful for everyone, but there is most likely research on that too, though I haven't seen it myself.

 

So, it could be said that I'm overthinking? 

[hoggy]

9 minutes ago, logakght said:

Did the test and now it seems I don't have autism! But, what if, I actually "changed" myself to remove the "bad" parts of it and keep the good ones? I started a process of cleansing on 2014 when I finally admitted I felt lonely. It has been hard and arduos, and yes, I've been with psychologists and will start with a new one, but I do think it's possible to "be" this way without appearing too "weird", but then again, society tends to point out genuine expressions of self as "abnormal".

Generally I would trust a psychologist more than an online quiz. I would also be cautious about "removing" parts of yourself by yourself - generally a trained therapist would help you gain an an awareness of your thought process and behaviour, which can help you remain yourself while communicating more effectively with others, I think.

[hoggy]

2 minutes ago, logakght said:

So, it could be said that I'm overthinking? 

In my experience, being told you're overthinking is not very helpful. Thinking is not bad - but maybe sometimes ruminating or obsessing can be cause you trouble. Also, the content of the thoughts is important - sometimes we aren't really aware of what our thoughts are like - again which is why therapy can be super helpful for some.

[logakght]

5 minutes ago, hoggy said:

In my experience, being told you're overthinking is not very helpful. Thinking is not bad - but maybe sometimes ruminating or obsessing can be cause you trouble. Also, the content of the thoughts is important - sometimes we aren't really aware of what our thoughts are like - again which is why therapy can be super helpful for some.

Thank you. It seems that in such few posts I've written you pointed flaws in my thoughts, which incites me to finally go to a psychologist and delve my depths with documented help... I'm not crazy! I swear! I just tend to do things my own way, but that is selfish, and I had a lot of problems because of it. Recently I had a tumultuous breakup that left me questioning myself in a new way, but in a direction that's helpful for me.

Edited July 19, 2023 by logakght