doublename Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 This thread is Fight Club. Love you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 The problem for me is that to find a person with which to share a meaningful or truly enjoyable relationship, be it friendship or anything else, you have to go through a bunch of boring, directionless, shallow social situations first, which is a fucking drag. I mean, you're most likely not gonna find a soulmate out of the blue. It all comes to laziness in the end I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublename Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 One year later: Lonerism is beginning to take its toll. I can feel my mortality more than ever. 30 is on the horizon. About to text some ladies I haven't seen in 2-5 years. I can't remember the last time I cried. I'll probably meet one of them for coffee and remember why I became a borderline hermit in the first place. Already there. If I were you though I might also try to reconnect with some old male friends. It might make the ladies feel weird if you were only interested in hanging out with them. It's good to have some balance. My loner situation is probably unique. Never dated anyone in my life, but that doesn't bother me anymore. All I'm really focused on is how I can make life better for myself, and at the same time how I can have a positive impact on the people around me. Still wondering what kind of legacy I should leave when my time is up. I've never really had any male friends as an adult. There are so many weird bro codes dictating behavior that I actually find it easier to be around women. It's probably because I don't know any IDM chaps IRL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 My two roommates are just nice girls. One used to smoke crack but you'd never guess and the other has a weird laugh and works with worms in a lab at a mental hospital. I think I lucked out tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 look at all of us loners together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubin Farr Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 In my experience, musicians, even famous ones tend to be introverted. Now musician/actors are another story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azatoth Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I enjoy solitude and don't feel a need to keep in contact with people and going to social events. Not that I don't enjoy my time when I end up somewhere with people. And I also prefer just one or two other people when going for a beer or something with friends. Now the reason why I prefer to be by myself, probably has to do with my crippling lack of self-confidence, because I just don't see myself as anyone interesting that anyone would like to hang out with, so I just don't bother. I've been called socially lazy, which I guess has some truth in it. That's why I am usually quiet in large groups of people because I feel I don't have anything to add to the conversation. To other people that might be interpreted as me being aloof or just a dick that think oneself better than others, when it's the exact opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I can relate. Never was a fan of crowds myself.As far as finding friends IRL goes, it's not like I refuse to hang out with people who don't listen to IDM, let alone know what it is. We can't all have the exact same interests. But somehow we can still have compatibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mag Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 long post incoming: being loner is perfectly normal, but western extravert society (opposed to eastern introvert) makes a big deal out of it (in media etc), so some loners tend to feel that they are abnormal or have some issues, which is not true at all. "happines" is build of 5 main things: social connection, search activity (curiosity), physical activity, educability (improvement of skills), and sharing personal stuff. Different people have different scale of those things, which makes them more intravert or extravert - so mad scientists, people of art, musicians etc, people who is more interested about "curiosity" and educability tend to be alone, cause they find it more satisfying, than making new freinds, contacts or sharing stuff on facebook every 15 fucking minutes. Introverts are usually "smarter" imho, cause they dig deeper than the superficial extraverts - truth and skill for them is more important than hypocrisy and benefits, which is why introverts tend to think of extraverts are stupid people. However, lacking the ability to persuade (that extraverts have), they rarely can convey their ideas properly, have work promotion etc, cause they just sit there and do their stuff at their best. They don't lick hairy balls of their boss. I will choose to sit home alone and do tracks, watch 80's slashers, read about biology or just stare at wall, than go to some noisy club, class meeting, social event every god damn time. 100% of the time. I just don't find usual social interactions interesting at all, people pretending to act like they are something different, bragging about shit, talking about weather. It's just dumb and they are dumb. I visit my old friends and we have a good time, but i don't really make any new friends and I'm totally fine with it. I was outsider from school and it's just who i am, I enjoy it the most. Even then, i didnt make friends on purpose, it just happened. But the group of people with whom you share your interests is totally different thing (like here, on watmm), because it's not just about useless chatter or social advancement. When i was hardcore role-player i was mega social, we had a club, constantly making lots of friends, traveling to different cities etc, but had had that main idea, hobby that glued us together. If that idea is missing, I just don't see the point of having social life for the purpose of having it. Love all watmmers, syro for my engrish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 being loner is perfectly normal, but western extravert society (opposed to eastern introvert) makes a big deal out of it (in media etc), so some loners tend to feel that they are abnormal or have some issues, which is not true at all. Sorry, but this part stuck out like a sore thumb for me. From having lived in far east Asia for a year I can guarantee that not all people of the East are introverts, and not all Westerners are extroverts. You get a mixed bag of personalities no matter where you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mag Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 being loner is perfectly normal, but western extravert society (opposed to eastern introvert) makes a big deal out of it (in media etc), so some loners tend to feel that they are abnormal or have some issues, which is not true at all. Sorry, but this part stuck out like a sore thumb for me. From having lived in far east Asia for a year I can guarantee that not all people of the East are introverts, and not all Westerners are extroverts. You get a mixed bag of personalities no matter where you go. Please don't take me literally =). I don't mean all of them are introverts/extraverts ofc, specially in our times, where everythnig is mixed and cultures mashed. There is no 100% introverts or extraverts. Even more, there and very few people who is 100% men or women (i know how it sounds). But if we take old times, in east it was the lonely wise man who lived on top of the mountain, whom people respected and went for an advice, and in the west it was social dude who can quicly settle any case, with bright smile and business suit. Over-social people who always talk were clowns in the east back then, and were not taken seriously. Otaku is common thing in japan, but is mental disorder in america. I know this is simplification and stereotypes, but they still echo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertsk8er419 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zkom Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 To me it seems that most Asian cultures (let's say Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Chinese, Lao) are more extroverted than the Nordic cultures. In general anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweepstakes Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I used to think of myself as squarely introvert but as I settle into my 30s I find that I welcome social interaction more than I used to. People are pretty interesting. I do enjoy retreating to my cave but that quickly gets old, and whenever I get the chance to spend time with old friends in faraway towns I get such a warm feeling of belonging and I often wish I could spend more time with them. My social drive oscillates over time and probably approximates a healthy balance, though definitely erring on the side of introversion. As far as Asian cultures I think the word you're looking for is collectivist. It might look like extroversion on the surface but I think there is a different psychological/social force at work from the battery-charging introversion/extroversion. It's more like how a person defines and interacts with their community. In fact, if anything, I think Western individualism feeds extroversion because it draws attention to the ego, which I think is a battery charger for some extroverts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 just gonna put this here http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/09/03/how-to-be-alone-school-of-life/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain James Mission Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm an introvert and was kind of a loner all my life. Even though I had always a number of really good friends, I often feel lonely even when I'm in company. The friendships I had lasted only a limited time, about 5-10 Years, then I changed my circle of friends, because I grew bored of them. Most people I know are only about simple shit like drinking, smoking, doin' drugs all the time and that what's bores me the most... The portrait the Stuff they see in the media and they are rubbing their little egos at parties/raves and pretend to be "one family" and shit like that. We are talking about people in their late 20s up to late 30s. Only few people I know ever read a book... FML Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavinsky Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 i read 4 books simultaneously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 IM AN INTROVERT IM AN INTROVERT IM SOOOOO INTROVERT OTHERS ARE EXTROVERT BUT ME? IM INTROVERT EXTROVERTS ARE ANNOYING BUT ME IM AN INTROVERT THAT MAKES ME A GENIUS IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan C Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 You nerds need to get out more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Npoess Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 IM AN INTROVERT IM AN INTROVERT IM SOOOOO INTROVERT OTHERS ARE EXTROVERT BUT ME? IM INTROVERT EXTROVERTS ARE ANNOYING BUT ME IM AN INTROVERT THAT MAKES ME A GENIUS IMO Typical extrovert imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YangYing Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I tried to get a girls last week, it was ugly, and i feel dumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 just girls though bub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan C Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I tried to get a girls last week, it was ugly, and i feel dumb. Tell me more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 You nerds need to get out more. So judgmental... Anyway, I did happen to get an invite to a party next Sunday by an ex-roommate, so hopefully I can attend. It would be a dickish move for me to decline the offer, given it's been about nine months since we last hung out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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