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loner thread


YEK

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i was talking to someone earlier today and i was asked why i don't have much of a social life, this kinda bothered me , but truth is i like to keeping to myself most of the time. even a few years back when i had more friends i was still a loner, always have been. i guess there are people out there that need constant interaction so it's hard for them to understand the other side of the spectrum. thoughts?

 

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there are people out there that need constant interaction so it's hard for them to understand the other side of the spectrum. thoughts?

maybe it's less that they need it and more that they love it, and maybe not constant but just often and in various situations

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I've always taken pride in being a bit of a chameleon, I enjoy hanging out with people and making new contacts, but I need to recharge every now and then by myself and have no problem being alone for a while, especially when working on creative projects.

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I've always taken pride in being a bit of a chameleon, I enjoy hanging out with people and making new contacts, but I need to recharge every now and then by myself and have no problem being alone for a while, especially when working on creative projects.

yeah, i can relate.

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Guest bitroast

I've always taken pride in being a bit of a chameleon, I enjoy hanging out with people and making new contacts, but I need to recharge every now and then by myself and have no problem being alone for a while, especially when working on creative projects.

Isn't that the difference in definition of extrovert and introvert? Extro get energy from others while intro enjoy being with others but find it draining and get energy alone (recharge). I can definitely relate also.

 

*posts one of million "being an introvert" web comics"

NP: Ceephax - Loner D+B

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i don't mind being alone, especially since i'm broke all the time. it's kind of boring sometimes to be around others when you're sober. especially at a show.

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Sometimes I wonder if WATMM is an introvert haven. We're alone, yet we're not alone. Or some shit.

There was a brief time in my life at the other end of the Pacific where I had a vibrant social life, but I've mentioned it too many times.

Mum says living the hermit life isn't healthy long-term, but I can't afford to have social obligations. Besides, I like simplicity, peace, and quiet.

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I've always taken pride in being a bit of a chameleon, I enjoy hanging out with people and making new contacts, but I need to recharge every now and then by myself and have no problem being alone for a while, especially when working on creative projects.

Awesome post! It doesn't matter if someone is extra or introvert. Almost anyone can fit into this more self empowering box.

 

Thing that struck me about yek's initial post was the "i was asked why i don't have much of a social life". That's quite a judgmental question. But apparently coming from someone to take seriously. The person would have to know every aspect of your life to have any legitimacy though, so the answer would be: why do you think ...? Who is that person to make that kind of judgments?

 

Yek, just copy paste what chim is thinking. And dont take that question too seriously.

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I've become reasonably social in the last 5 years mostly due to playing in bands and recording people, but it never really feels natural. All of my interactions are kind of awkward, to be honest. The only thing that really makes it work is that I'm either working on an activity with other people, or I'm in within a group so I can let others do the work.... the fact that I consider conversation "work" is pretty telling. When I drink or do drugs I want to talk to people, but otherwise I prefer to keep to myself. I wish this weren't the case... but at 30 years of age I think it's safe to say this is who I am.

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I've always been quite a loner, and I can probably attribute that to lots of different factors, but the biggest thing is that I was picked on a lot as a kid and chose not to go around others so I wouldn't have to endure that. I stayed this way so long that I started to enjoy it, so I just reveled in my video games and music and whatever other kind of hobbies I had. The problem with this is that I never quite got the hang of socialization and now interacting with others and trying to make friends is extremely difficult for me. About 10 years ago, I started dating a girl and that sort of brought me out of my shell, just a tiny bit, but I ended up longing for the days of always being alone. We broke up and I did fall back into that, and that's pretty much where I am now. I talk to some people at work, but other than that, I spend all my time alone and never go out. I get pretty lonely, but that's always been the case, and I feel that if I made friends, I'd just be wishing I could be alone again. A vicious cycle, but that's the story of my life. Part of it is because of where I live, there's no one I can relate to and most people get on my nerves anyway.

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As I post this- I am alone in my house after being alone all day making tunes. I spend a good majority of my time doing this or work. Being a loner isn't a bad thing, but it is a very lonely existence, which is what it is. I'd rather value my loner-ness than have a bunch of fake ass d-bag friends who go to nightclubs all the time..

 

Although being a loner makes it a little hard to meet women. Remedied by porn with a heaping side of shame. Who needs human interaction?

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You post here, right? That's human interaction. How much time do you spend on forums/facebook/... etc?

 

read: you're alone with the rest of the people on the internet.

 

..euh, you do notice the irony, right?

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I feel like it can be very dangerous to only hang out with yourself because you only have your ideas. If you only spend time with yourself don't have honest friends giving you advice or calling you out on your shit. It's good to have criticism from other people because they point out things you completely overlook. I feel like i grow much more as a person when i spend time with others

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You post here, right? That's human interaction. How much time do you spend on forums/facebook/... etc?

 

read: you're alone with the rest of the people on the internet.

 

..euh, you do notice the irony, right?

I'm convinced none of you are real people.

 

So, moot point.

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psssh.

 

nevertheless interaction. someone talking to imaginary friends is not really lonely, or is he?

 

also, itt:

 

previous century ideas of being a loner meeting 21th century ideas of being a loner.

 

what does it take to get in contact with anyone nowadays? it's really difficult to be a loner if it takes just the flip of a switch (or 140 flips in case of twitter) to get in contact with millions people. if you're online you're not really a loner by those ancient definitions. at any moment of the day, you could get in contact with just about anyone.

 

you might argue that those contacts are/can be less meaningful. and obviously, often the physical part of company is missing. but i'm sure you can come -huhu- pretty close to actually having sex when watching porn. so it's really between the ears anyways. just like physical sex. ;p

 

21th century of being a loner: being offline, no gsm and no real life people around you.

??

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