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MadameChaos

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The Breakfast Club Club

 

Several employees of the aforementioned diner all get together out of hours and realise that they are in fact different to their external cultural stereotypes. With heart warming consequences.

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Guest Atom Dowry Firth

Top Gurn

 

An ace fighter pilot is forced to retire after both his eyes pop out of their sockets due to extreme g-forces. Surgeons try to save his vision but it will never again be what it once was. Despondent, he loses himself in the world of illegal raves and ecstasy - the only way he can relive the rush he used to feel whilst flying through the air at twice the speed of sound. As time goes by he soon finds more and more people seem to recognise him in the street, and he eventually learns that he has become a YouTube sensation as videos of him gurning at the raves have gone viral. A female reporter tracks him down and learns his tragic story, falling for him in the process. Fans of the Top Gurn YouTube viral videos crowdfund a pair of new replacement cyborg eyes for him and he is finally able to sit in the cockpit again.

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Cool Story Bro

 

A slapstick comedy directed by the coen brothers in which George Clooney starts an obviously entertaining anecdote but is interuptted by cameo roles from hollywood actors who chime in to say "Cool Story Bro! Tell it again!". Due to funding restraints the credits roll before the story is ever completed but what happens next is really shocking!....

 

After the credits there is an advert for 2015's Cool Story Bro 2: More Of The Story, starring Tom Cruise.

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Guest Gary C

lol, would love to watch Top Gurn with Limmy as the lead.

 

gurn-750x400.jpg

Edited by Gary C
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Three brothers from America, after failing to win council seats in their suburb, decide to try their hand at something bigger: Prime Minister of Central China. There are racist joke scenes of the boys learning to throat-sing and herd mutton to the simple local people. But it all turns deadly serious when an ages-old cattle corruption scheme is exposed, and the men have to pick sides between local warlords as shit goes down. First half directed by Wes Anderson, second half directed by Jet Li, last scene by Wes Anderson again, and three white guys star in:

 

MONGOLIAN BEEF

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"All A-Twitter": a lighthearted romantic comedy with some dark metaphysical moments. The lady's lines are from Courtenay Love's twitter account, the guy's lines are Horse Ebooks. Directed by Darren Aronofsky. At the end, both characters slowly turn into nothingness and die. Their parting words make no sense.

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"Shooting a Shot on the Shooters" - In the Grindhouse/multiple-feature format, we see an obsessive film fan dig up bodies of dead directors and film himself seducing/fucking their corpses. Each scene is shot in the style of its respective director's style with homages and call-backs to their famous films! Each scene's climax is of course the climax of our film fan Freddie Fux all over the destroyed corpse of the director.

 

Freddie Fux will be played by Billy Bob Thornton, who will improvise all dialogue and actions. Any corpses that cannot be obtained will be played by Madonna.

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Herring Warmer: Zach Galafiniakis gently warms a herring with his love. Same score as Lord of the Rings. Just under an hour.

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The Rock 2:

 

In 2023, prisons have been made illegal. Sean Connery finds solace in a large piece of flint, all the while trying to shape into a prison by projecting words of existential crisis at it in a fake American accent.

 

Lars Von Trier, commenting on the movie's much celebrated anti twist:

 

"We knew that Connery would slip into his James Bond voice at some point, we just didn't know when. To help the viewer, we have timers on screen to forewarn the easily surprised."

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  • 7 months later...

Aliens on Alien

 

It is the year twenty twelfty and scientific progress has come on leaps and bounds.

 

In this, the 14th part of our ongoing series on Xenomorphs, Sigourney Weaver narrates as our humble gang of creatures watch Alien for the first time, with startling and 'often funny' results.

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