Post terrible idea for films

[fenton]

Meta Critic: The Movie (10/10)

 

Dazzling multi layered speculative future comedy in which film critics are seen to critique films about them critiquing films in what has been described as 'a meta meta meta meta meta apocalypse' and given 5 stars already so you don't have to.

[MadameChaos]

Hilarious Consequences

 

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCartney star in this buddy movie based on all the previous buddy films with two male characters. It's 12,478 hours long.

[Silent Member]

RAN 2

 

A perfectly racist action-comedy about US pro gamer Blaze247dread0 joining the world's biggest LAN party in Japan, but oh no! The competition is being sabotaged by Evil Ninjas from North Korea who are physically hacking the computers to DDOS America. After a deadly 100mbit connection to the head, our hero wakes up in his true form, princess of the universe, Hardl00t. Transgender hilarity ensues as he teams up with the Thai national pro ladyboy kung fucking fu event team and battles for LAN domination. Prepare to LOL, ROFL and AFK.

[colunga]

His identity is unknown. A special weapons expert.

The only thing more dangerous than knowing the truth. is telling it.

people will be divided.

This experiment just got a mind of its own.

[pyramidpanes]

teenage mutant ninja sloths

 

[Candiru]

Gravity was really just Speed 3 with a last minute rewrite.

 

 

 

Paleozoic Park. People discover weird crustaceans in a pond and aren't quite sure what to make of it in the midst of an inter-office love triangle and its ensuing legal consequences.

[LimpyLoo]

Fifty Shades of Graylien - A ratlike representative of Weyland-Yutani Corporation (Josh Hutcherson) convinces Ripley (Jennifer Lawrence) to apply for a job in outer space as the secretary of that weird-ass xenomorph from Alien 4 (Bradley Cooper), whereupon they have some PG-13 BDSM sex and play mind games for 90 minutes.

 

[sorry, I don't actually know the plot of Fifty Shades]

[Perezvon]

you nailed it

[LimpyLoo]

you nailed it

 

that's the actual (general) plot?

 

wow, that is so hackneyed

[Nebraska]

a sci-fi film directed by ridley scott

[Soloman Tump]

Homer Loan.

A feature length simpsons movie where Homer gets a new job working as a clerk in a bank. He does a good job of setting up overdrafts, loans and mortgages for the people of Springfield and eventually works his way up to being bank manager where he earns a lot of....

 

Doh

[fenton]

"IT'S 4:20, MAN"

 

It's 4:20, Man is a 2016 American terrorism disaster comedy film written and directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg in their second directorial debut, and stars Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, and Craig Robinson. The movie centers around a group of real life actors - on a plane - as they circle around the planet maintaining a speed which analbles them to remain at 4:20, man, every second of the way.

 

Introducing a new cinematic technique which shows the really stoned actors hallucinations out of the windows as they pass several wonders of the world, a hilarious and unexpected twist reveals that the plane hasn't even left London Luton and it has all been a dream or something out of the Ryan Air inflight magazine.

[fenton]

Dude, Where's My Bra?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher, after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia, wakes up and finds out he is a pre-op transexual in a stoner dude's body. Revolt as he stands in the queue at Central Station lost property office claiming that he 'wasn't this saggy before he gave up cocaine'.

 

Dude, Where's My Spar?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia spends well more than 24 days looking for Spar in Glasgow but only finding Londis, Nisa and a closed HMV.

 

Dude, Where's My Scar?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia, finds himself strapped to a hospital bed and in possession of a newborn. After much confusion and physical comedy in which it is revealed he gave birth by Caesarian section, in an unexpected and unexplained twist, it is discovered that the scar is actually on his back but just covered by a tattoo that says "DUDE" leaving ample room for a sequel [or prequel] about the other guy who looked like Stickler from American Pie.

 

Dude, Where's My Star?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia, finds himself with a telescope up his arse looking for the south pole even though the Poles have shifted and are now working as labourers in Dubai.

 

Dude, Where's My Jar?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia, finds himself being drug tested after waking up with a needle hanging out of his thigh during the 2015 Oscars ceremony, 10 bucks says you won't believe where he tried to hide his sample.

 

Dude, Where's My Czar?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia causes a world war with Russia.

 

Dude, Where's My R?

 

This summer, Ashton Kutcher after a bout of horrifying Ambien related amnesia, finds himself stuck in a loop during the filming of Jobs during a scene where his bloody ruddy R key has gone fucking missing.

Edited February 21, 2015 by fenton

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

a sci-fi film directed by ridley scott

 

Ridley Scott Directed By A Sci-fi Film

 

Ridley Scott awakens one morning to find he has been sealed inside an animatronic suit which has been programmed to enact Charlize Theron's character's movements in the brilliant hit film Prometheus. Awakened from cryosleep by David, he involuntarily performs some yoga exercises while shrieking expletives at the top of his voice. Throughout the course of the film we see Ridley display a bewildering array of emotions, a highlight of which is his uncontrollable sobbing after he (Meredith Vickers) emerges from having had intercourse with Captain Janek in the middle of the film. Ridley's ad-lib vocalisations provide a stark contrast to those of the rest of the cast, who bravely try to stick to the script as best they can. At the climax of the film, Ridley is crushed to death by a lifesize replica of the alien spaceship as it slowly rolls over him despite his best efforts to try to roll sideways (the suit refuses). Nobody cares.

[MadameChaos]

Live action version of Watership Down directed by David Lynch

[granty]

Homer Loan.

A feature length simpsons movie where Homer gets a new job working as a clerk in a bank. He does a good job of setting up overdrafts, loans and mortgages for the people of Springfield and eventually works his way up to being bank manager where he earns a lot of....

Doh

Lol

[MadameChaos]

A Beautiful Place in the Country

 

The Sandison brothers are enjoying a holiday in the woods in the tent their fans made them out of their own skin, only to find that the skin tent is haunted!

 

To pacify the ghosts they have to make another album, but all they have is the ringtones on their phones and some field recordings of pigeons.

[Candiru]

A Hellraiser reboot starring Mel Gibson and Cuba Gooding Jr.

[Kavinsky]

A guy eats a Hot Dog and slowly starts looking like one

directed by David Cronenberg

Edited May 24, 2015 by Kavinsky

[LimpyLoo]

A guy buys a Hot Dog and slowly starts looking like one

 

lol what?

 

what made you think of that?

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

ISIS!

 

Written and directed by LimpyLoo

Edited May 24, 2015 by Timothy Forward

[Kavinsky]

 

A guy buys a Hot Dog and slowly starts looking like one

 

lol what?

 

what made you think of that?

 

that was my first thought

[Soloman Tump]

Sitar Wars

Bollywood b-movie of twins separates at birth who are reunited during a battle for the empire while playing Sitar for Jabba the Huert

 

Tsar Wars

Russian twins separated at birth are reunited during the battle for the empire while dancing in a Gulag for Jabba the Husk

 

 

Star Wurst

German twins separated at birth are reunited during the battle for the empire while dancing in a Bierkeller for Jabba the Hütt

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

flol

[triachus]

WATMM Wars

Dupe account twins separated at registration are reunited during the photoshopbattle for the lols while shitposting in an OPN thread for Jaffa the Huzur

Edited May 25, 2015 by triachus