Post terrible idea for films

[Guest Gary C]

Wayans' World

 

Keenen, Shawn, and Marlon Wayans are slackers with a low-key podcastYoutube channel (2014!) until a major internet article-site (give me a call BuzzFeed!) offer to make them professional. Love, laughs, losers and selling out... but with black people! Coming soon.

Edited June 11, 2014 by Gary C

[olo]

Dumb & Dumber to

 

Lloyd has been playing the old "broken heart over girl/committed to mental hospital for 20 years" gag on Harry, Lloyd says fuck it, "Gotsa Harry", hilarity ensues & they're back to their old apartment where Harry got a cat named Butthole. He soon finds out he has a daughter from some chick he banged ages ago I guess & they set out on a roadtrip to find said daughter so Lloyd can bang her because she's hot.

[baph]

Hustle & Flow 2: Grandma-ster Flash

 

Frank (Kelsey Grammar) is a neurotic, recently-divorced, deep-in-debt man who one day encounters a quirky scientist (Jeff Goldblum). After watching a marathon of old reality shows they hatch a get-rich quick time-travel scheme to send Frank back to the year 2004 where he'll dress up like an old lady and rap on talent shows. However, Frank soon develops a deep passion for being a rapping grandma and decides to stay in 2004, leaving his old life behind.

 

 

Or something. I don't know,. I'm really tired.

 

Still better than Down Periscope

[hoggy]

it's really hard to think of bad ideas isn't it - here's one I just thought of:

 

vom rom com - a film about two lovers with different bowel disorders falling in love, and going on dates with very messy consequences

it's really hard to think of bad ideas isn't it - here's one I just thought of:

 

vom rom com - a film about two lovers with different bowel disorders falling in love, and going on dates with very messy consequences

[doublename]

Saved by the Mel - 1942, a group of Jewish high school students are offered a truck ride out of occupied France by a farmer with a very unusual accent. Little do they know, this farmer is no friend to the tribes of Israel and has a wicked surprise in store. In theaters December 25, 2014

[peace 7]

Philadelphia 2

AHAHAHAHAHA.....

 

Anyway, this thread is pretty good. Again-- better than Hollywood.

[Soloman Tump]

The day after the day after tomorrow

[sheatheman]

anything by herzog

[Candiru]

My Right Foot.

 

The sequel to Oscar winning My Left Foot, the film starring Daniel Day Lewis as a dude with cerebral palsy and lots of courage and perseverance. This one stars French Stewart in a breakout comeback golden globe winning fucking heroic tour de force as basically the same character but living with a black family in Atlanta, Georgia for no apparent reason. One of the more touching moments of the film involves French Stewart learning to throw gang signs with his feet. Strings swell, tears flow, oscars are won.

[fenton]

Norwegian Wood: Genre fiction author Haruki Murakami directs as 29 famous musicians do renditions of 'A Hard Days Night' in their kitchen while the director cooks spaghetti and mutters approval.

 

Noted for a groundbreaking effect where the script is translated into Japanese then back into English using google's text to voice translation engine. Other than this dialog track, the audio is silent.

 

In the IMAX edit, the dialog track is slightly delayed and or pitch shifted in each surround channel, so it really feels like the robot Beatles ensemble is there with you, and inedible reusable miniature plastic spaghetti meals are seemingly thrown into the crowd, until the crowd realise this is a 3D effect placed in post production.

Edited June 13, 2014 by fenton

[MadameChaos]

Geriatric Park

 

A family go to a park full of elderly people. They all have a nice time. THE END

[kakapo]

L'amour a l'aire...

 

A man with a perfectly square penis falls in love with a woman with a perfectly triangular vagina.

 

French with subtitles. And anti-semitism.

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

Die Hard: Takagi's Revenge

 

Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi, born Kyoto, 1937; family emigrated to San Pedro, California, 1939; interned at Manzanar, 1942 to '43; Scholarship student, University of California, 1955; law degree, Stanford, 1962; MBA, Harvard, 1970; President, Nakatomi Trading; Vice Chairman, Nakatomi Investment Group and father of five is rushed to the Nakatomi Corporation's top secret medical facility in Indonesia after being shot in the head by Hans Gruber in the first Die Hard film. They manage to save him by placing him inside a mechanical sarcophagus to keep him alive, but he is no longer the same man he once was. After 30 years of recuperation Takagi is hell bent on revenge. He vows to kill John McClane for not saving him when he had a chance and for hiding under a table instead.

 

Hans Gruber's last remaining brother Wolfgang finds out Takagi is hunting John and goes to warn him because he feels bad about the actions of his siblings in the other films. He eventually finds John in the back of Argyle's limo with a couple of mamma bears they've hooked up with after they met up for old time's sake. Just at that moment Takagi bursts into the parking lot through the wall and is about to strike when Argyle reveals he's made a few modifications to the limousine. "Relax, we got everything in this mug, man. CD, CB, TV, telephone, full bar, VHS, rocket launchers, anti tank mines, flame thrower and a pair of vulcan cannons yo!" Much of the film from here is a visual effects orgy of destruction through downtown LA. Buildings explode and topple to the ground, bridges collapse. Agents Johnson and Johnson (no relation) try desperately to regain control of the situation but fail in comic style.

 

The climax of the film happens when Argyle drives the now crippled husk of a limo into the front of a bank. At this point John realises he's been double crossed! It was all an elaborate ruse to keep the police occupied across the city while Argyle, Wolfgang and Takagi steal the money from the bank and blame it all on McClane. By the time agents Johnson and Johnson have sifted through the rubble and figured out what went wrong Argyle, Wolfgang and Takagi are sitting on a beach earning 20%.

 

The saga continues next summer with Die Hard: McClane's Revenge for Takagi's Revenge!

[kieselguhr kid]

Geriatric Park

 

A family go to a park full of elderly people. They all have a nice time. THE END

 

has been done:

 

[sheatheman]

Norwegian Wood: Genre fiction author Haruki Murakami directs as 29 famous musicians do renditions of 'A Hard Days Night' in their kitchen while the director cooks spaghetti and mutters approval.

 

Noted for a groundbreaking effect where the script is translated into Japanese then back into English using google's text to voice translation engine. Other than this dialog track, the audio is silent.

 

In the IMAX edit, the dialog track is slightly delayed and or pitch shifted in each surround channel, so it really feels like the robot Beatles ensemble is there with you, and inedible reusable miniature plastic spaghetti meals are seemingly thrown into the crowd, until the crowd realise this is a 3D effect placed in post production.

 

Man, Jay Rubin is not an artist.

[JS20]

 

A 4h 33m documentary on Philip Glass' 4'33"

You watch it without a TV or other special equipment, just you and your eyes are all you need

 

Do you mean John Cage?

 

 

Yea, I'm an idiot.

[LimpyLoo]

Til Asshole-Mouth Do Us Part

 

A man wakes up on the morning of his wedding day to find that his mouth is now an asshole. Over the course of 2 hours he learns what's really important in life, and that true love is blind...unless of course you have an asshole instead of a mouth!

 

Starring: Keifer Sutherland and Jennifer Aniston

 

Written and Directed by: Spike Lee

Edited June 14, 2014 by LimpyLoo

[kaini]

American Graph-iti

 

In an alternate reality where maths is illegal, Nicholas Cage plays Turing, the leader of a crack team of revolutionaries who work for the government by day and spend their nights plotting asymptotic functions on the walls of government buildings. But Turing soon encounters the mysterious Ada (played by Ellen DeGeneres), and discovers that not everything in life can be plotted...

[Berk]

What the Atomic Bomb did to Kellogg - Kellogg has a dentist appointment on Monday, but it's also Mother's day. Trying to contact the dentist to arrange for another appointment proves to be a difficult task for Kellogg. Will he decide to go on Monday anyway, 'forgetting' that it is, in fact, Mother's day?

 

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal

[MadameChaos]

Gone in 60 minutes

 

An elderly Nice Cage and Angelina Jolie reprise their roles from the earlier similar named film, this time stealing luxury mobility scooters to order.

[Ivan Ooze]

a movie with john travolta wearing a neckbeard on his chins provocing robert the niro who has a stoma between his buttcheeks

[MadameChaos]

it's been done already http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Season_(film)

[Ivan Ooze]

yes it's me madame, the director of that shit movie

your new lover

Edited June 18, 2014 by Ivan Ooze

[fenton]

The Cinema

 

This winter... Watch a guy go to the cinema and watch this film while you are watching it. Which side of the screen are you standing?

[Candiru]

Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, Tim Allen, and Larry The Cable Guy in:

 

GAY SOCCER DADS.

 

This delightful romp is for a new demographic. For gay parents to take their kids to and they can both laugh. The light jokes and banter will be great for the kids, but the jokes about sucking off the assistant coach in your minivan during practice will fly straight over their precious little heads.