Post terrible idea for films

[Guest bitroast]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh3lJ8gZThI

 

This actually sounds incredible.

 

ha! hahaha. holy shit.

[Chris Toffer]

 

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

 

Also interested in seeing this film

[Ivan Ooze]

Philadelphia 2

[fenton]

Scary Movie 429: Now Everybody is Really Dead.

 

In a pastiche of found footage horror, sentient robots from the year 2054 discover the last remaining CCTV footage - 6 cameras - focused on the same road junction and edited together using a human simulation algorithm.

 

The footage is composed of several decomposing bodies. In he year 2025, everybody in the world had been killed in a series of murders parodying every horror movie ever made.

 

 

[MadameChaos]

Toy Story 4

 

Andys toys meet and become friends with some adult toys including Robbie the rampant rabbit and Bob the buttplug. During one hilarious scene Woody somehow becomes trapped in the vagina of Barbara the blow up doll.

[Candiru]

Nick Nolte as Benjamin Franklin, discovering electricity donating books to the nations first public library and smangin mad colonial hos with scathing wit and a twinkle in his eye. In his alone time, he literally outlines the concept for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but accidentally leaves it in a native Americans teepee after taking refuge from a jealous husband wielding a pitchfork. It is in that teepee that he envisions a perfect utopia for mankind and writes the memoirs of his alter ego, a 5 year old Japanese boy named Soichiro Nakajima, who is played by Jackie Chan. He will win an oscar for going against type. Being Japanese. Franklin will have many improvised buddy comedy moments with other historical figures, which are often anachronistic. Examples include Napoleon, Mohammed Ali, Che Guevara, Anthony Bourdain as himself, and Paul McCartney played by Denzel Washington. The film will end in a climactic shootout on Antarctica and will involve a thrilling James Cameron-esque white knuckle action sequence involving apache helicopters, orca whales, and Tony Hawk, pro skater.

[hello spiral]

 

 

 

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

 

 

Eric Red's Body Parts?

 

i don't think so; right now i have the feeling that THE HAND from schlitze's post may be what i need. i'll try to track it down in my local video store, can't find it online.

 

Body Parts looks great though

 

 

That really sounds like The Body Politic by Clive Barker from Books of Blood but I can't find any evidence that it was adapted to film.

 

 

Edit: this may be what you're looking for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quicksilver_Highway

Edited June 7, 2014 by hello spiral

[Soloman Tump]

A Hollywood adaption of Doctor Who (played by Bruce Willis) where the tardis is a Porsche and his assistant Laura is played by Angelina Jolie. The doctor faces EXTREME peril in the form of Cybermen who have grown really large and now look like transformers. The world is certain to face doom, but with the help of The Brigadier (played by Jason Statham) they may just be able to fend off the alien menace and restore peace.

 

Cameo's from Sylvester McCoy in a flashback scene that will only make the extended directors cut on bluray only.

 

Directed by Michael Bay.

Theme tune remix by Tiesto.

[MaartenVC]

An atmospheric movie about the ordinary life of ksdjhqjkgh, an alien on planet dsvbhsdfv.

 

It's mostly an audio-visual experiment to experience the unknown and incomprehensible.

 

People will go insane as they come tot the conclusion ksdjhqjkgh is who they are.

 

...

 

Wanne know more?

[kieselguhr kid]

 

 

 

 

The Hand

off topic, but: i'm desperately looking for a film that is about an evil severed hand walking around on its fingers (and probably killing people and stuff). i've seen that one maybe 10 or 15 years ago on tv, and it had a scene in it where a whole bunch of hands sit in a tree like a flock of birds... that image kind stuck with me since

could this be it? or any suggestions, anyone? thx

 

 

Eric Red's Body Parts?

 

i don't think so; right now i have the feeling that THE HAND from schlitze's post may be what i need. i'll try to track it down in my local video store, can't find it online.

 

Body Parts looks great though

 

 

That really sounds like The Body Politic by Clive Barker from Books of Blood but I can't find any evidence that it was adapted to film.

 

 

Edit: this may be what you're looking for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quicksilver_Highway

 

hell yeah, that could actually be it! will try to check it out. thx guys!

[hello spiral]

Confirmed:

 

 

 

Bonus lol for me: Barker had a cameo as a surgeon giving a sassy one-liner.

Edited June 8, 2014 by hello spiral

[LimpyLoo]

Hustle & Flow 2: Grandma-ster Flash

 

Frank (Kelsey Grammar) is a neurotic, recently-divorced, deep-in-debt man who one day encounters a quirky scientist (Jeff Goldblum). After watching a marathon of old reality shows they hatch a get-rich-quick time-travel scheme to send Frank back to the year 2004 where he'll dress up like an old lady and rap on talent shows. However, Frank soon develops a deep passion for being a rapping grandma and decides to stay in 2004, leaving his old life behind.

 

 

Or something. I don't know,. I'm really tired.

[Guest Little Lord Faulteroy]

An atmospheric movie about the ordinary life of ksdjhqjkgh, an alien on planet dsvbhsdfv.

 

It's mostly an audio-visual experiment to experience the unknown and incomprehensible.

 

People will go insane as they come tot the conclusion ksdjhqjkgh is who they are.

 

...

 

Wanne know more?

 

yes

[Soloman Tump]

The Naked Gun 4.444'

 

Frank Drebin is back! Using state of the art CGI and never before seen footage, Hollywood have been able to recreate Frank in all his glory.... As you've never seen him before!

 

Also starring O.J Simpson, who has shot his scenes from inside his prison room.

 

And Prescilla Presley!

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

The Naked Gun 4.444'

 

Frank Drebin is back! Using state of the art CGI and never before seen footage, Hollywood have been able to recreate Frank in all his glory.... As you've never seen him before!

 

Also starring O.J Simpson, who has shot his scenes from inside his prison room.

 

And Prescilla Presley!

 

lol, I thought of exactly the same idea the other day. Andy Serkis doing the motion capture with a CGI Leslie Nielsen running about doing zany things. Then I looked it up and they are actually in all seriousness rebooting the franchise with one of the bellends from The Hangover in the lead role. Seriously, everybody working in Hollywood needs to be forced to take a test where they all write down a list of the ten best ideas they can come up with for films. Anyone who suggests doing a remake gets lobotomized and put to work down a coal mine.

[LimpyLoo]

Seriously, everybody working in Hollywood needs to be forced to take a test where they all write down a list of the ten best ideas they can come up with for films. Anyone who suggests doing a remake gets lobotomized and put to work down a coal mine.

 

 

Ooh, and James Franco can play the lobotomized guy who works in the coal mine. And it turns out at the end that the mine was actually the head of a giant alien that they were performing a lobotomy on.

 

written and directed by Charlie Kaufman

Edited June 8, 2014 by LimpyLoo

[LimpyLoo]

eh, sorry for killing the thread

 

 

*posts delet-esque stage direction demonstrating my feelings about the situation*

[Chris Toffer]

Confirmed:

 

 

 

Bonus lol for me: Barker had a cameo as a surgeon giving a sassy one-liner.

So what was it then?

[modey]

 

Seriously, everybody working in Hollywood needs to be forced to take a test where they all write down a list of the ten best ideas they can come up with for films. Anyone who suggests doing a remake gets lobotomized and put to work down a coal mine.

 

 

Ooh, and James Franco can play the lobotomized guy who works in the coal mine. And it turns out at the end that the mine was actually the head of a giant alien that they were performing a lobotomy on.

 

written and directed by Charlie Kaufman

ZOLE

[JS20]

A 4h 33m documentary on Philip Glass' 4'33"

You watch it without a TV or other special equipment, just you and your eyes are all you need

Edited June 9, 2014 by jsmcpn2

[LimpyLoo]

 

Hustle & Flow 2: Grandma-ster Flash

 

Frank (Kelsey Grammar) is a neurotic, recently-divorced, deep-in-debt man who one day encounters a quirky scientist (Jeff Goldblum). After watching a marathon of old reality shows they hatch a get-rich-quick time-travel scheme to send Frank back to the year 2004 where he'll dress up like an old lady and rap on talent shows. However, Frank soon develops a deep passion for being a rapping grandma and decides to stay in 2004, leaving his old life behind.

 

 

Or something. I don't know,. I'm really tired.

welp, it made me laugh. then you made me feel like a dummy by shitting over your idea at the end. ARE YOU CALLING ME A IDIOT??

 

 

I got the idea at 5 in the morning. I thought it was funny (honestly, I'd be embarrassed to say how long I thought about it and giggled) but I couldn't tell if that was just because it was 5am or what, so I hedged my bets by writing a self-deprecating remark.

 

And no, I think you're an intelligent and delightful human being.

 

Wanna do some gay stuff?

 

Edited June 9, 2014 by LimpyLoo

[Guest glasse]

The Phantom Menace: The Beginning

 

A prequel to Star Wars: The Phantom Menace with Anakin a year or two younger than he is in Episode 1. It would show how he first got interested in building droids and his first attempts before making C3PO. Also we would get to see the first pod races he attended and how he himself got interested in building his very own pod racer. Side plots would include Jabba the Hut investing in the pod races and how they became popular on Tatooine. There would be no action, basically it would be a heartwarming drama about a young boy learning about life as he and his mother try and make a life for themselves, and any conflict would come from tension between Watto and Anakin and Shmi, along with the business dealings of Jabba as he tries to establish his pod racing arena, ie taking out loans for the establishment, conflict with the painter when he didn't show up and so on. About the conflict level of an episode of Gilmore Girls.

[hello spiral]

A 4h 33m documentary on Philip Glass' 4'33"

You watch it without a TV or other special equipment, just you and your eyes are all you need

 

Do you mean John Cage?

 

Bonus though, I found this while searching for any involvement by Glass with 4'33"

 

http://youtu.be/3wS1LbtZWys

[kieselguhr kid]

Confirmed:

 

 

 

Bonus lol for me: Barker had a cameo as a surgeon giving a sassy one-liner.

 

 

wow, thank you so much hello spiral! i was really starting to think i had somehow made that up...

 

 

+ that would be a good movie still for the 'guess the movie still' thread btw

[MadameChaos]

Mrs Doubtfire 2

 

Arnold Schwartzeneger (i dont care if thats not how you spell it) stars as a frustrated man who disguises himself unconvincingly as an old woman to infiltrate a terrorist cell in Pakistan... with hilarious consequences.