peace 7 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 The "Slender Man" thread reminded me of the legendary entity and urban legend since cro-magnon times: The IDM Man. I dunno why this didn't get coverage in Unsolved Mysteries or an episode of X-Files, but this urban legend can totally be confirmed by prolly hundreds on this forum alone-- thousands the world over. What the IDM Man does, is he gives one dreams of underground music stardom, often mixed with overground pop crossover popularity. The influence of this implantation of dream is so strong, that after visited by IDM Man, one spends at least 10 years straight composing music and spending thousands of dollars/pounds/equiv. on music hardware, software, and room treatment. Those under IDM Man's powers are said to have a big part of their lives revolve around music forums, music listening, music composition, and recreational drugs; IQ above average- hoodies, long hair, and facial hair optional. How the IDM Man can cause torment in his chosen ones, is he prevents them from succeeding in fulfilling the implanted dreams by turning them into ultra geeks, where priorities of musical expression can get overshadowed by want for technical knowledge. This results in years of circuit bending without one good song; years of learning the ins-and-outs of various music software packages for comparison (becoming mediocre at them all); years of cleaning nice studio gear and untangling/organizing wires and setting up ultimate IDM feng shui-- alas, not a single solid album produced in that lush studio worthy of praise by all those others who are suffering from the IDM Man's mind control. If you have more than 5 of these symptoms, you may very well be under the powers of IDM Man: - You care more about listening to or/and making music than your job. - Hanging out on WATMM is one of the highlights of your day. - You've made more tracks that are unheard, than those that have been shared. - You don't share some of your best music, because you don't want to give away your secret techniques. - You mock people who buy expensive and trendy headphones, because you actually know a shitload about headphones. - The music hardware you've bought was after researching extensively, and purchases were made after finding the best quality AND the best price solutions. - You have more unfinished music than finished music. - You used to think "selling out" in music was shit, but now- personally- you'd totally accept being wealthy for writing bad music, if given the opportunity- 100%. - When you started making music, you knew that you were gonna be signed to a major underground label, even though everyone told you it was nearly impossible (you still believe it). - Statistically it's tough to make a living from music composition, but you believed you could (and still believe it). - You don't care as much nowadays about getting signed to a nice label, but you still have hopes of somehow releasing on one, even though you haven't finished a proper album in ages. - You think (know) you have good taste, even in things that have nothing to do with music, like film, food, and drugs. - Most others are relatively "normal" and boring compared to you and your highly multi-cultural-interest-filled mind. - You are sad that Warp Records is now a sham. - Referring to some awesome era for electronic music, you're able to truly say-- "I WAS THERE, MAAAN...", and you appreciate it, feeling that such golden days are long gone; yet you have hope for the future of music! - You have experimented extensively with making music using various techniques, and quite honestly, you've almost created new genres; been close to causing paradigm shifts in electronic music perception. - You've been on every electronic music bandwagon in the past 5 years. - You're so IDM that you listen to tons of music that isn't even considered "electronic". - Due to your hardware setup, you've heard a higher quality of sound than most people can imagine is even possible. - You've released on a net label. - You are pretty interested in your own stories of mere interaction with any of the old school IDM Trinity (RDJ, Mike P, Tom) - You've daydreamed about how awesome it'd be to be properly signed (especially to old school Warp, Rephlex, Planet Mu); the images and scenarios in these dreams based on basically nothing that you've read about ever happening. - You have one of the best albums of the year on some hard drive; you just have to finish making it. - Good jungle is still the shit. So- have you sacrificed to IDM Man lately?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YangYing Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 a+ thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dpek Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 :( This thread made me sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 the idm man sounds like the outsidersquatch, who tempts strange young men into releasing several dozen albums of freeform guitar music FOR ART Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
may be rude Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 that many will think this is a joke, ingenious in how it can't be disproved, is the real joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Member Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Take me through the sacrificial ritual again, I think I'm missing a step or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peace 7 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 that many will think this is a joke, ingenious in how it can't be disproved, is the real joke. Actually, I'm pretty sure this is real. Take me through the sacrificial ritual again, I think I'm missing a step or two. * T I M E * is the ultimate sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jasondonervan Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Member Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Oh dear god no not the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 *checks self into IDM rehab* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 yeah man, the fucking IDM man has visited me alright. fucking lives under my stairs. i call him colin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peace 7 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Share Posted June 5, 2014 Oh dear god no not the time Imagine believing that getting signed would solve all your life problems. Imagine having your whole life revolve around composing music. Imagine believing 100% that you would succeed in somehow indirectly becoming wealthy from releasing albums on a good label-- due to this belief, you figure you'll be able to retire in 15 years and will have all the time in the world to spend with friends and family. Now imagine rejecting hanging out with friends, because you're fine tuning the ultimate electronic album of the decade. Imagine turning down family events, because you think you'll be able to spend time with them after you retire. Now imagine you spend 15 years doing that, becoming a recluse; albeit, highly skilled composer. Then all of a sudden you realize, your friends are not around to hang out, anymore. The family you thought you'd be able to spend time with have all grown up-- the kids are not "the kids" anymore, because they now have kids. Relatives you had a chance to see but chose not to, have passed away. At this point, this is where the IDM Man laughs, because he has used your efforts towards music for his own sexual gratification. You didn't make the implanted dreams come true, but you did make IDM Man get off for 15 years straight. And THAT, is how one sacrifices for IDM Man. Despite all that, those who've been under his spell once, often relapse into music composition, commonly under the preface: "But I just make music for fun now". Of course, that hobby is still fueled by a never-ending IDM dream of wanting to release a proper album, on a proper label, with proper distribution and street cred. Those with "no time" for "proper composition", will sometimes use apps on their smart phone to diddle with music on public transportation to/from the workplace. Due to such technology, IDM Man can now take MORE FREE TIME. More free energy. IDM Man..... is powerful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YangYing Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 *Mumbles something about the truth hiding in plain sight.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xox Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 If you have more than 5 of these symptoms, you may very well be under the powers of IDM Man: - You care more about listening to or/and making music than your job. - Hanging out on WATMM is one of the highlights of your day. - You've made more tracks that are unheard, than those that have been shared. - You don't share some of your best music, because you don't want to give away your secret techniques. - You mock people who buy expensive and trendy headphones, because you actually know a shitload about headphones. - The music hardware you've bought was after researching extensively, and purchases were made after finding the best quality AND the best price solutions. - You have more unfinished music than finished music. - You used to think "selling out" in music was shit, but now- personally- you'd totally accept being wealthy for writing bad music, if given the opportunity- 100%. - When you started making music, you knew that you were gonna be signed to a major underground label, even though everyone told you it was nearly impossible (you still believe it). - Statistically it's tough to make a living from music composition, but you believed you could (and still believe it). - You don't care as much nowadays about getting signed to a nice label, but you still have hopes of somehow releasing on one, even though you haven't finished a proper album in ages. - You think (know) you have good taste, even in things that have nothing to do with music, like film, food, and drugs. - Most others are relatively "normal" and boring compared to you and your highly multi-cultural-interest-filled mind. - You are sad that Warp Records is now a sham. - Referring to some awesome era for electronic music, you're able to truly say-- "I WAS THERE, MAAAN...", and you appreciate it, feeling that such golden days are long gone; yet you have hope for the future of music! - You have experimented extensively with making music using various techniques, and quite honestly, you've almost created new genres; been close to causing paradigm shifts in electronic music perception. - You've been on every electronic music bandwagon in the past 5 years. - You're so IDM that you listen to tons of music that isn't even considered "electronic". - Due to your hardware setup, you've heard a higher quality of sound than most people can imagine is even possible. - You've released on a net label. - You are pretty interested in your own stories of mere interaction with any of the old school IDM Trinity (RDJ, Mike P, Tom) - You've daydreamed about how awesome it'd be to be properly signed (especially to old school Warp, Rephlex, Planet Mu); the images and scenarios in these dreams based on basically nothing that you've read about ever happening. - You have one of the best albums of the year on some hard drive; you just have to finish making it. - Good jungle is still the shit. 99% true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leon Sumbitches Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I... I think I've seen him... Also, close the forum forever, Peace7 has officially won watmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qnio Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 At this point, this is where the IDM Man laughs, because he has used your efforts towards music for his own sexual gratification.pfff lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublename Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Peace 7 is a sentient brick of hash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I have been visited by the IDM Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atom Dowry Firth Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Lare Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 - You care more about listening to or/and making music than your job. - Hanging out on WATMM is one of the highlights of your day. - You think (know) you have good taste, even in things that have nothing to do with music, like film, food, and drugs. - Most others are relatively "normal" and boring compared to you and your highly multi-cultural-interest-filled mind. - You're so IDM that you listen to tons of music that isn't even considered "electronic". 5, it was close. Fuck y'all slaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 - You have one of the best albums of the year on some hard drive; you just have to finish making it. my major symptom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Peace7 remind me of that guy from Toronto who said he was a vampire then at the end of the video he ripped his shirt off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bigs Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 i think you just wrecked the whole lot of us. i don't even to pretend to be a producer and this stung. at least good jungle is still awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delet... Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 Then again where would life be without dreams that most beyond yourself consider boring or incoherent. /dleetr, outside contractor for his idm magistr. pundit for the pope of procrastination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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