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X-Files 2016


Rubin Farr

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X Files series 25: episode 4: Mulder and Scully visit a spooky town and discover a strange monster. Meanwhile the mysterious man named the Nicaraguan Humidor smokes while standing around in a trench coat. What's that odd brown liquid that's running down the inside of his trousers? The town and the monster have more in common than Mulder first realises. Scully offers a scientific analysis of the situation and does her best to debunk Mulder's bullshit. But she's neither young nor beautiful now. Mulder finally discovers that the Spooky Town is in fact the reincarnation of his long lost sister. She was kidnapped as a child by an Alien group called the Townies. Mulder fights the monster but is knocked out, leaving Scully to look cool by killing the monster herself. Mulder's sister (the spooky town) pulls off its mask to reveal that Mulder's sister is in fact a 57 year old black guy with a trench coat and beard. Then the monster/blackman/Mulder's sister/the spooky town dies by choking on its own vomit. Tune in next week for the big twist that makes you want to watch the next episode.

Episode 4 was my favourite of season 25 to be honest. Some strong acting and moody lighting.

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Pretty haggard looking. Isn't her kid like 15 at this point?

 

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i think that he's supposed to look a little haggard, like he's been off the grid, not FBI'ing for a few years.

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Oh wow, Joel McHale is in the new season? I quickly went from being excited about this new season to being fearful of what this new comedic sidequick might add to the show.

 

 

...

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Joel McFail .. maybe he's going for his serious acting chops emmy nomination? funny side kick would be tedious yes. plz not funny sidekick.

 

"and for the best actor in a deviant sex starved sinister bog monster posing as a bible thumping gas station attendant role goes to."

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he's been getting more hot carls than a California toilet seat because it smells better than Rush Limbaugh's AM radio talk show bullshit

i kno rite

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After all these years of coming close to the REAL truth behind Mulder's sister, it turns out that Mulder is actually Scully's sister. And then Krycek is gay as fuck, so he starts sucking Mulder's dick. Then Scully is like,"LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!!!", and Krycek turns into black liquid after Scully shoots him in the face, which is the origin story of Venom.

 

Scully pulls off her latex mask to reveal that she is actually Mulder, and the post-sucked sister-Mulder's face morphs into Mulder's sister's face. It turns out Krycek was trying to reveal the truth, and he knew the only way to convert Mulder's sister back to original form, was a random blowjob. All these years, Mulder was protecting his sister disguising himself as Scully, and his sister was protecting him, disguised as him. The real back story is that the image of Scully was based on the Mulders' mother, and the real agent Scully died in 1991, on a case about big foot.

 

0/5 stars

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And then Krycek is gay as fuck, so he starts sucking Mulder's dick. Then Scully is like,"LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!!!"

omg i loled so hard at just this line alone ill have to read the rest later. jesus christ

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After all these years of coming close to the REAL truth behind Mulder's sister, it turns out that Mulder is actually Scully's sister. And then Krycek is gay as fuck, so he starts sucking Mulder's dick. Then Scully is like,"LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!!!", and Krycek turns into black liquid after Scully shoots him in the face, which is the origin story of Venom.

 

Scully pulls off her latex mask to reveal that she is actually Mulder, and the post-sucked sister-Mulder's face morphs into Mulder's sister's face. It turns out Krycek was trying to reveal the truth, and he knew the only way to convert Mulder's sister back to original form, was a random blowjob. All these years, Mulder was protecting his sister disguising himself as Scully, and his sister was protecting him, disguised as him. The real back story is that the image of Scully was based on the Mulders' mother, and the real agent Scully died in 1991, on a case about big foot.

 

0/5 stars

omg

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  • 3 weeks later...

That teaser is pretty cool... But "I wish" (yah, cuz I don't think about The X-Files on a daily basis) the timeline progressed more, because it's kind of shit to try and make Mulder and Scully styled as they were in the early 00's or late 90's. Cuz I imagine there could be a pretty deep story if Mulder had grey hair and Scully still wasn't trying to pickup bigfoot with her hotness. So make it like a shitload of time passed, and there's some hardcore shit goin' down. Then Skinner, Mulder, and Scully go rogue and pickup the Lone Gunmen to re-open the X-Files, to sort out some serious business. Then the whole reboot takes place within the span of one month, but a lot of it is sort of backstory from the past 20 years and realtime unfolding ala 24.

 

All I know is that it's not gonna last a season if they try to pull off a convoluted story based on old episodes. But if they do make a good old school style X-Files- like with each episode standing on its own or whatever- then I'd be really impressed. Anyone remember/watch Sliders? That was a series much like X-Files in that, when the core of the series breaks down, the whole thing goes to shit.

 

I used to like it when The X-Files was like Doogie Howser or The Wonder Years, where the whole fucking thing was basically Mulder's interpretation of life (along with Mulder narrating to himself, because he's fucking nuts from watching his sister get abducted). Or just nice STORIES (like The Twilight Zone), with a loose story arc, instead of the background story being the main story.

 

Sidenote: I remember when the show first came out, I thought it was based on true events, like Unsolved Mysteries. Ahaha...

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i agree that they shouldn't be dressed up like it's 1995, but of course if they didn't do that you'd have complaining about how it was changed, so yah know. Still though i'd prefer post FBI getting away from all that bullshit on a pension got his pilots licence and generally chilling out running passengers in and out of small mountain towns that have no electromagnetic interference and are isolated enough to make him feel same mulder, who left the past in the past, and it's scully that comes to him with kooky info wanting his hlep investigating it. She's now the oddball in the agency etc. They then fly about the place investigating this or that on scully's vacation days solving mysteries. WITH NO BIG BAD, none, NO CONSPIRACY, NO MULTI_SERIES ARCS, cause really that's been there and badly whipped for long enough, lets just have some fun with the format.

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