Guest jasondonervan Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Went to the Parcelforce depot to, you guess it, pick up a parcel Rather than dealing with my collection, the guy behind the counter seemed to think my time would be better spent hearing him tell me in great detail about how 'people send all sorts' and 'once had someone send a box full of dicks, weighed a ton' which he swiftly followed up with 'why do people import dildos? They're really expensive...' Usually I would have found this sort of ribald chatter hilarious, but I really just wanted my bloody parcel so I probably unwittingly gave him a blank expression and mild grunt of acknowledgement, which might have explained him swiftly changing the conversation over to their Christmas opening hours instead. I wasn't collecting a box of dicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 My girlfriend's answerphone message has remained unchanged since she was 13 (she's 23 now). I'm a 35 year old man who leaves messages for a 13 year old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 (edited) how does it feel when you leave dirty messages for her? lol Edited December 12, 2014 by StephenG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 I, too, have had things jammed into my urethra for medical science. And I come out of that experience with the knowledge that I will never truly understand anyone who is into sounding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 how does it feel when you leave dirty messages for her? lol Awe inspiring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 FWP: Wife is making me watch the last season of Dexter. Fucking hell, this is rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokoon Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 My girlfriend's answerphone message has remained unchanged since she was 13 (she's 23 now). I'm a 35 year old man who leaves messages for a 13 year old. Haha that is amazing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perezvon Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 Must have slept in a very bad position last night since my upper left arm feels like someone stuck a nail in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 So it suddenly appeared on my laptop screen a small white spot. I know it's a common shit on screens, and it's barely visible, but it annoys me a bit. I don't really give a fuck, but I'm worried that it could grow, you know, like cancer. Can that happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 My wallet is so full of cash that I can't close it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chenGOD Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 My wallet is so full of cash that I can't close it. I can definitely help you with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isaki Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 So it suddenly appeared on my laptop screen a small white spot. I know it's a common shit on screens, and it's barely visible, but it annoys me a bit. I don't really give a fuck, but I'm worried that it could grow, you know, like cancer. Can that happen? yes, buy healing rods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 So it suddenly appeared on my laptop screen a small white spot. I know it's a common shit on screens, and it's barely visible, but it annoys me a bit. I don't really give a fuck, but I'm worried that it could grow, you know, like cancer. Can that happen?yes, buy healing rods I can definitely help you with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chenGOD Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Bloody Apple store won't accept my credit card anymore - never mind that I used this same credit card to purchase something on November 22nd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usagi Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Bloody Apple store won't accept my credit card anymore - never mind that I used this same credit card to purchase something on November 22nd. I can definitely help you with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Bloody Apple store won't accept my credit card anymore - never mind that I used this same credit card to purchase something on November 22nd. I can definitely help you with that. I can definitely help you help him with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chenGOD Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Bloody Apple store won't accept my credit card anymore - never mind that I used this same credit card to purchase something on November 22nd. I can definitely help you with that. I can definitely help you help him with that. For a mere 5 quadzillion dollars, I can definitely help you help him help me with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 You got yourself a deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spratters Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Christmas is soon which is cool, and I've spent more than I probably should have on others, which is still cool. Fucking speeding fine in the post £100 for 72 in a 60 ON A FUCKING MOTORWAY PATRICK MCLOUGHLIN YOU CUNT!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest isaki Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 google has suddenly decided I'm interested in Italian football and it keeps telling me random results of games Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadameChaos Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 the rabbit jumped onto and sat on my breakfast. now she's eating it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granty Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I haven't been as regular as I'd like this month, due to excessive mince pie/quality street/stilton consumption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublename Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Cable and innernets's out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I can't figure out what else to get my girlfriend for christmas. Not like she is expecting something grand or anything, she's very down to earth. But I want to get her something else. ho hum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr_Nova Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I can't figure out what else to get my girlfriend for christmas. Not like she is expecting something grand or anything, she's very down to earth. But I want to get her something else. ho hum https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hJk6zEwd3g Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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