baph Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Watmm, the home of the dullards. Hi Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Poole Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I had hopes of fucking my neigbor last weekend. I just moved in and she had me over for drinks. We were pretty buzzed and she was dancing all around me, when she got right up in my face and whispered gently "don't even think of putting your mouth anywhere near mine". It's not easy to fuck your neighbors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 ^ damn that suck beermate, i know a lot of people like that, i love some of them but for them to live next to me would be a total nightmare don't let it get 2 ya pall, hope things will get better cheers Hah, its all good Ivan, it was over 10 years ago when he left. He's long gone. Having bad neighbors is a mindfuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcofribas Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 seven years ago i moved into rooms on the third floor of an old manor. on the first floor was the dinning room, kitchen and rooms occupied by the landlord and by the handful of black servants (slaves). the second floor was unoccupied save for a single room in the corner over looking the garden in which lived a rather private middle age woman who i did not see until i had been living there for some months. after having settled in for a time and feeling quite comfortable i decided to address the landlord about the whole slave thing. she was strolling through the dinning room while i sat smoking over the ruins of my dinner, a satisfying rack of lamb with a mild red wine followed by strawberries and cream for dessert. "hey landlady," i said. "what?" she replied. i then proceeded to lecture her severely about america's long and repulsive history being sure to provide a great deal of emphasis on the many examples of racism that do so thoroughly besmirch the country. this lecture was in 10 parts and was completed in a fortnight (a few days off were taken so that i could organize my speeches and fortify them further with research i carried out in the duly equipped library adjacent to the dinning room). on the tenth night the landlady, who hitherto had sat in deep attention save for a question or two each night, had the diligent servants brought to the dinning room at which point she dismissed them all from their duties, gave them each an handsome severance package and begged their forgiveness for her ignorance. her excuse? well, she was blind after all and never knew color of any kind whatsoever, let alone the sundry shades of human flesh. at this time, having made sure of the landlady's generous promise, the employees removed their masks and rubbed the paint of their exposed skin revealing they were never of african american descent at all but were rather caucasian one and all. each and every one! as a white man my first impulse was to high five them but i thought better of this and opened my pack of cigarettes, lit one up and gazed vaguely toward the window. the unemployed servants threw down their aprons, occupied themselves with various celebratory gestures ranging from laughter to impressive back and front flips and eventually left the mansion with arms full of purloined booze. at this time i deeply coveted their freedom. the landlady turned in my direction, said "wtf lol" and then retired to her chamber. as i ascended the stairs to my quarters, weighing the fruits of my lecture series (and preparing the layout for future research) i was alarmed to see the mysterious woman emerging from her room and crossing the second floor landing toward the stairs as i climbed toward it. suddenly i was holding a tray full of several drinks which were filled on high and as she attempted to pass me her purse upset my tray flinging the drinks every which way, which did freeze for a moment in the air as i quickly shot a knowing glance at the camera, and we two were then soaked in liquids. she was very embarrassed and an awkward scene ensued in which we grazed each other's hands in attempting to restore the glasses to an upright position. it was at this time that i noticed something quite peculiar: the wetness on her skin seemed to create strange dark smears which did confound me severely until i realized that the smudges were not at all what they seemed. my piercing stare must have alerted her and she rose to leave but i grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her down to the kitchen. there i proceed to splash, nay! douse her with water as i watched in awe as caucasian-colored oily makeup washed away to reveal a thoroughly dark-skinned human male. he looked frightened and did a backflip. just as he landed the landlady entered the kitchen, removed her dark glasses and said "flol i'm not even blind" which did astonish me overmuch. then she embraced the newly male person before me and it was not long before i realized she was thus reunited with her estranged adopted son who had disguised himself as a contradictory being, placed himself upon the second floor where he had been waiting to surprise her with super nintendo for xmas (this was the 90s). fucked up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 My neighbors always fucking a goat in his backyard. He makes warthog voices and noisy grunts while doing it, He also wears rigger boots, a welding mask, and has a bunch of purple grapes on his head. I've had a few chats with him while he plunges his barbed cock into the half dead goat. All I have is my plastic Batbike, my utility belt and a plastic grappling hook. My neighbor is killing that goat with his flesh and blood. I'm fucking finished!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublename Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 You got to have a laugh. I think you can plot the exact time line between my posts from half cut to fully cut. From truth to fiction. Alcofibas spurred this on! Its actually not the booze being the issue, its the fuckong internet! Fuckong!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candiru Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 I used to live next to a guy who claimed he was part Cherokee and Jimi Hendrix's cousin. He wore a raccoon skin hat and weird colorful clothes and walked around like a homeless member of P-Funk. I would be in a completely different part of town, and there he was, slowly walking by like he just teleported there from his backyard. But why? He also had an abnormally bulbous beer belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinski Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 i had to change flats because neighbours at the previous one had a habit of blasting radio pop hits at full volume at any time. it was so loud i couldn't hear the music i was listening to at home. i used to work nights, come back at 9am just to be woken up 2 hours later by kanye west listening sesh. i will never understand what's so great about listening to music so loud it turns into noisy mush. especially since you're not that into music, you just listen to the radio, and you just play it loud because.. you're brain damaged? is that it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Warrior Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 i had to change flats because neighbours at the previous one had a habit of blasting radio pop hits at full volume at any time. it was so loud i couldn't hear the music i was listening to at home. i used to work nights, come back at 9am just to be woken up 2 hours later by kanye west listening sesh. i will never understand what's so great about listening to music so loud it turns into noisy mush. especially since you're not that into music, you just listen to the radio, and you just play it loud because.. you're brain damaged? is that it? http://lifehacker.com/5852903/silence-noisy-neighbors-by-transmitting-signals-through-their-own-speakers Build this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremymacgregor87 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Watmm, the home of the dullards. Yeah? When I went to cubs and scouts, there was a young lad called Tony (Nagle) so we kind of grew up together and he was a good friend of mine, though didn't see each other out of those circles. When we reached 15 we started drinking together a bit, going fishing together and then about 16 going to pubs together with other friends. I can remember the exact point of when everything went topsy turvey. Three of us went fishing for a weekend and got plastered saturday afternoon, me and the other chap were standing waiting for a taxi home when Tony just jumped out of a load of bushes and started attacking our mate, and beating the fuck out of him. Me and the landlord had to pull them apart. There was no justification or provocation for this. Those two never spoke to each other again. Me and Tony carried on being friends.... Everytime we went for a drink and he got drunk crazy shit would happen. I remember him smashing a chair over a landlords head when he came up to our table and told us to drink up, I remember him running out on the local indoor ice rink in his work overalls and starting a fight with a member of staff, then there was a time when we pulled up to a set of lights and a police car pulled up parallel to us and he got out the car and started kicking the police car while screaming You fucking wankers!!!! (lol that was funny though), he was also barred from all the pubs in the local area for beating up........wait for it....... his dad!, every weekend he would just get drunk and smash up his own flat I can remember times just sat there sipping a beer on his couch while he would be going round kicking all the doors in lol. I put up with this until he was 20 (I was about 21), then the lurid amazement started to wear thin. Not only that it was pretty clear that drinking set off some sort of schizo/psychotic reaction in him. I knew I needed to get away from him. So slowly but surely I edged away until contact was zero. About six years years later our next door neighbor puts the house up for sale. And never guess who moving in? Good old Tony. And he still likes a drink. And he's got a wife, a baby and a Rottweiler in tow. I tried to explain to my mum (my dad had recently passed on with cancer) and 2 younger sisters that there was major trouble ahead. As in real fucking massive trouble. And so happened five years of hell. The most notable incident is when he came home smashed out of his mind, and set fire to the house while going upstairs and proudly telling his wife what he had done. Fucking cunt of a human. I'm off down the pub, see ya later. holy smokes that is rough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesomeperson Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 I too also have cats that visit my garden, they're the only positive things about the place I live at, the tiny female cat beats up all the other cats and even small dogs that try to enter my garden, although the male stray one day slashed the face of a mutt that the owner, a female wigger, was walking without the leashes on, one of the dogs started to bark behind the fence, the cat pulls the claws out and slashed that bitch's dog, it went away running and crying, that retard never crossed my street ever again with her two dogs. It was already the third time this stupid cunt pulled this stunt, some people just shouldn't own dogs or pets in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxus Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 my fav neighbor is a 90-year-old astronomy blogger who likes to give me and my friend telescope demos when we run into him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 There's a guy that lives across the street that accused us of using his trash cans. That was the only time I've talked to neighbors in this neighborhood. My roommates and I rent a whole house, so we don't have to worry about noise from music or walking around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fxbip Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 My neighbor like to play music at any hour of the night or early morning.1,2,3,4,5am.With pretty loud subwoofer. The worse thing is that he usually play the same song on repeat ,like for an hour or more.On repeat.FOR AN HOUR.and he really doesnt have good taste in music. Once i went to knock on his door to make it stop,i knock pretty hard so i will hear me cause the music was really loud.He did not answer so i went back to my place. So i go back to bed and then suddently i hear somebody banging on my door.It was him. He ask me if i was the person who knock on his door.I said yes.He then shout at me to never disturbed him anymore like that. So he played music extemely loud at 3am,i complaint and i'm the one disturbing him? hahaha That was pretty funny and pathetic. He plays thing like this:(imagine to be forced to listen to this for A WHOLE HOUR ON REPEAT!) But lately he is getting better and only plays music at night once every 10 days or something...hopefully someday he will get his senses and stop for good. Doesnt people know about headphones?what the hell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Warrior Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 My neighbor like to play music at any hour of the night or early morning.1,2,3,4,5am.With pretty loud subwoofer. The worse thing is that he usually play the same song on repeat ,like for an hour or more.On repeat.FOR AN HOUR.and he really doesnt have good taste in music. Once i went to knock on his door to make it stop,i knock pretty hard so i will hear me cause the music was really loud.He did not answer so i went back to my place. So i go back to bed and then suddently i hear somebody banging on my door.It was him. He ask me if i was the person who knock on his door.I said yes.He then shout at me to never disturbed him anymore like that. So he played music extemely loud at 3am,i complaint and i'm the one disturbing him? hahaha That was pretty funny and pathetic. He plays thing like this:(imagine to be forced to listen to this for A WHOLE HOUR ON REPEAT!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc But lately he is getting better and only plays music at night once every 10 days or something...hopefully someday he will get his senses and stop for good. Doesnt people know about headphones?what the hell? How did you not put the prick in hospital? This was happening to me more than a year ago now, in the end I was going apeshit, calling housing association, council, coppers every time it happened and they ended up getting evicted. Gave up dealing with them face to face as they'd just sheepishly apologise or hide behind their door every time. I don't want you to apologise, I want you to stop djing calvin Harris tracks at 4am to your fucking twat mates. Arrrgh I get so so angry just thinking about it. CUNTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny O Flannagin Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 uhg, just got a new roommate who plays pop hip hop constantly. All i hear in my room is a monotonous torrent of kicks and snares and sometimes whiney contemporary rap vocals. Why... Haven't confronted him yet, hopefully he's willing to compromise. Im pretty sure theres a clause in the lease that should limit the noise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peace 7 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 One way to deal with loud and annoying neighbors is to use IDM technology: Put a contact mic on the offending wall-- well, the possibilities for this are many. For example, put the mic output to sample delay, then have output of that mic to speakers that face the wall. So then when the annoying kid is having a tantrum and parents are yelling or whatever, after 1 second they hear themselves. This opens up self-consciousness, and makes the offenders realize they are being retarded. I have neighbors who had a kid who cried and yelled all the time- with parent also yelling- and if things didn't get better, I was pretty close to setting up a realtime sampling rig, and blasting their voices back at them in breakbeat form. Most people don't expect that someone has setup an intricate rig to feedback sound. So they might assume Zeus is right about to lightning their asses back to stardust, and they'll shut the fuck up. When it comes to people playing loud music, have your rig with no sample delay, but detune the feedback. This will make the offender think that their stereo rig is fucked up. If they are asshole enough, hopefully they will become enraged and destroy their own equipment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 yeah that delay thing sounds good.... currently: blasting Kevin Drumm's Relief for 5 minutes @ max volume is usually enough to silence them. Sadly not a long term solution. Their memory seems impaired, they forget.... but it works for short term. Actually doing it right now... Can't be in my room during that, it's easily over 100db :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amen Warrior Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 One way to deal with loud and annoying neighbors is to use IDM technology: Put a contact mic on the offending wall-- well, the possibilities for this are many. For example, put the mic output to sample delay, then have output of that mic to speakers that face the wall. So then when the annoying kid is having a tantrum and parents are yelling or whatever, after 1 second they hear themselves. This opens up self-consciousness, and makes the offenders realize they are being retarded. I have neighbors who had a kid who cried and yelled all the time- with parent also yelling- and if things didn't get better, I was pretty close to setting up a realtime sampling rig, and blasting their voices back at them in breakbeat form. Most people don't expect that someone has setup an intricate rig to feedback sound. So they might assume Zeus is right about to lightning their asses back to stardust, and they'll shut the fuck up. When it comes to people playing loud music, have your rig with no sample delay, but detune the feedback. This will make the offender think that their stereo rig is fucked up. If they are asshole enough, hopefully they will become enraged and destroy their own equipment. But then your other nice quiet neighbours have 2 noisy cunts to deal with instead of one :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncrtx Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 my neighbour always bakes french fries in his garage and the odor reaches my bedroom and it is NOT fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 my neighbour always bakes french fries in his garage and the odor reaches my bedroom and it is NOT fun who the fuck bakes french fries in their garage? =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
user Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Not belgische frieten? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncrtx Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 my neighbour always bakes french fries in his garage and the odor reaches my bedroom and it is NOT fun who the fuck bakes french fries in their garage? =/ To keep the stench out of their house, ironically. And it rains outside here more than it should. Not belgische frieten? he is a meanie so i'm sure that his aren't as tasty as belgische! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 huh... I guess that's a fair reason to do so. I've just never heard of anyone actually doing that. Most people just crack some windows and use the stove/oven fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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