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start wreck into dorkness : not much of a trekkie but thought this might be entertaining. it wasnt. the only entertaining thing in this movie was when they literally showed a part where a single tear silently rolls down one of the star trek crews little faces at least 6 different times, including once to the supposedly bad ass bad guy and twice to the fratboy captain kirk dickhead. even tho its based on a tv show they dont actually have to make the movie a big budget tv show which is exactly what this seemed like . And the story was fuckin horrible too...... am not actually sure what the story was about thinking about it. corpses hidden inside missiles or some bullshit? who comes up with this shit ? They even somehow managed to make a fool out of robocop !! anyways could go on but this movie scores a totally shite / 10

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journey to the center of the earth (2008)

 

i don't know what even is this what

 

was this supposed to have been animated? it's the most cartoony movie starring real people i've ever seen.

 

freefall 4000 miles into earths core? don't worry there's a lake at the bottom. also pressure change is a non-issue. also, cell phone reception.

 

*ironic high rating*

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great gatsby

 

my gf wanted to watch it so I went. I hate the original book (yeah I said it, fuck you F. Scott Fucksgerald), and surprise surprise, this made me hate the book and so much more.

 

 

I would love to watch Baz Luhrmann die a thousand deaths while a Chuck Person remix of "Everyone Wear Sunscreen" plays over and over.

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years ago I did mushrooms with a cute girl I had just met in Amsterdam. Strangely, it turned out we had gone to the same High School (she was a few years younger than me). She then asked me with utmost seriousness "So, we both had to read the Great Gatsby right, tell me what did you think, did you like it or not?" as if this was the most profound thing one person could ask another. I split the difference and said "yeah, it was ok I guess." I think she was looking for a more emphatic opinion; I didn't score. I've always wondered what the "right" answer would have been...

 

Damn you Gatsby!

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please don't pirate upstream color. unless it is never playing near you. at this level your current film pays for the next one.

What if you despised the film and don't want to give him money to make another film, at least not for another 9 years?

 

I gave it -1 rather than a 0 or 1 because it kept fading to black teasing me into thinking it was ready to end, it made me feel like a character in game of thrones. It's funny that a film that aims so high can so easily paralyse me with boredom and turn me into a simpleton incapable of engaging with it on any level beyond just wanting to idiotically tear it apart. How figuring out a good puzzle can make you feel smart, I don't even want to decipher the film.

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Guest Jimmy McMessageboard

 

please don't pirate upstream color. unless it is never playing near you. at this level your current film pays for the next one.

What if you despised the film and don't want to give him money to make another film, at least not for another 9 years?

 

but you wanted to see it. so it deserved your money. if you hated it then you don't see the next one.

 

plus half the fun of seeing a movie is (if it's terrible) complaining and pulling it apart

Edited by Jimmy McMessageboard
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please don't pirate upstream color. unless it is never playing near you. at this level your current film pays for the next one.

What if you despised the film and don't want to give him money to make another film, at least not for another 9 years?

 

but you wanted to see it. so it deserved your money. if you hated it then you don't see the next one.

 

plus half the fun of seeing a movie is (if it's terrible) complaining and pulling it apart

 

I only watched it because there's some level of hype surrounding it, I expected it to be at least interesting and memorable. Had I paid money to see it I'd have regretted it. I downloaded it. I've watched other films that i felt i had to tolerant as much as enjoy them, like Tree of Life, Tokyo Story, Inland Empire, Holy Motors to an extent, but there's enough there to admire that the experience is worthwhile.

 

 

 

 

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Guest RadarJammer

 

 

 

please don't pirate upstream color. unless it is never playing near you. at this level your current film pays for the next one.

What if you despised the film and don't want to give him money to make another film, at least not for another 9 years?

 

but you wanted to see it. so it deserved your money. if you hated it then you don't see the next one.

 

plus half the fun of seeing a movie is (if it's terrible) complaining and pulling it apart

 

I only watched it because there's some level of hype surrounding it, I expected it to be at least interesting and memorable. Had I paid money to see it I'd have regretted it. I downloaded it. I've watched other films that i felt i had to tolerant as much as enjoy them, like Tree of Life, Tokyo Story, Inland Empire, Holy Motors to an extent, but there's enough there to admire that the experience is worthwhile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

after only 2 hit or miss movies I'm not sure he's proven himself worthy of the "do not pirate" list

 

looks like he might do a kickstarter next time anyways

Did you consider crowdfunding? Kickstarter? Going after the fans?

I considered it, but I didn’t do it. I might next time. At the time, when I was looking at it, I had a false opinion of crowdfunding, that it branded the project too much. That from that point forward it wasn’t a film, it was a Kickstarter film.

I think we’re past that now. I think it’s a completely legitimate thing, although I do think that you have to have a conscience if you’re going to do that. If you’ve got money available to you as equity, you can’t just take people’s money for free. I think that should be an option — it should be like asking for somebody if you can sleep on their couch. It happens, and it’s necessary, but if you’ve got a place that you can afford, then you shouldn’t be doing that.

 

http://www.theverge.com/2013/4/10/4208658/interview-shane-carruth-upstream-color-primer

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no-you-fucking-cant.jpg?w=510&h=525

 

again. flawless imo.

one of my favourites.

 

''Y'know, I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as fucking boring as you. You are a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know you disapprove of swearing so I'll sort that out. You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!''

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