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Pizza with pineapple on it is the worst thing humanity has perpetrated


Dan C

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Sounds interesting, am gonna try this pear & blue cheese combo.

 

Those who don't like pineapple on pizza, are you generally finicky with food? Or would you happily eat balut & side order of squid, but just have a weird thing about pineapple on pizza?

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I'm certainly one of the more sophisticated members here, and in real life am probably considered one of the global experts on SE Asian food through my food writing, although I also get the odd commission for more prosaic writing about the London food scene.  I have been a consultant on more than one award winning restaurant project.  Essentially I'm one of those increasing rarities who is able to combine practical, first hand knowledge with a robust intellect, with a keen eye for those cultural ironies that form a rhizomatic web around our food consumption and rituals.

 

Pineapple on pizza is ok.     

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Those who don't like pineapple on pizza, are you generally finicky with food? Or would you happily eat balut & side order of squid, but just have a weird thing about pineapple on pizza?

I said this earlier in the thread - I don't have a problem with it in principle, but dropping soggy canned chunks directly onto the pizza is a travesty. And that's usually how it's done. It ruins the delicate moisture balance of otherwise good pizza, and often either bottoms out the crust or leaves sickly pits in the top of the cheese. Use fresh, bright, flavorful chunks of pineapple, pat them dry to rid excess moisture, and you have my blessing.
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Cilantro on pizza? I dunno...

 

BUT - fresh basil on pizza (after it has come out of the oven, of course) - now THAT enhances any pizza. We put fresh basil on ho-hum Papa John's takeaway pizzas and it elevates them slightly past "fast food trash" to pretty deece.

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Those who don't like pineapple on pizza, are you generally finicky with food? Or would you happily eat balut & side order of squid, but just have a weird thing about pineapple on pizza?

I said this earlier in the thread - I don't have a problem with it in principle, but dropping soggy canned chunks directly onto the pizza is a travesty. And that's usually how it's done. It ruins the delicate moisture balance of otherwise good pizza, and often either bottoms out the crust or leaves sickly pits in the top of the cheese. Use fresh, bright, flavorful chunks of pineapple, pat them dry to rid excess moisture, and you have my blessing.

 

 

Exactly this. 99% of the time it comes across like you covered a pizza in sugar for someone with an 8 year old's palette who doesn't even notice the abominable texture.

 

Anyway, pineapple and normal cheese? You are like a little baby, I have a durian and stinking bishop creation cooking in the oven.

 

I can see people in yellow hazmat suits approaching the house from my kitchen window.

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Yeah, avoiding the watery texture goes for other toppings that come in jars or cans of water, like olives or jalapenos.

 

The reason pineapple works on pizza is the same reason apple sauce or fruit jellos go well with various meat dishes, or how syrup and bacon come together to create that very delicious flavor. It provides a sweet counter flavor to the otherwise savory meat/cheese/herb or bitter anchovies/capers/olives etc. flavors typically found on pizzas.

 

And if you time it right you get a nice slightly brown "crust" on the surface of the pineapple chunks, and a soft warm center.

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Those who don't like pineapple on pizza, are you generally finicky with food? Or would you happily eat balut & side order of squid, but just have a weird thing about pineapple on pizza?

I said this earlier in the thread - I don't have a problem with it in principle, but dropping soggy canned chunks directly onto the pizza is a travesty. And that's usually how it's done. It ruins the delicate moisture balance of otherwise good pizza, and often either bottoms out the crust or leaves sickly pits in the top of the cheese. Use fresh, bright, flavorful chunks of pineapple, pat them dry to rid excess moisture, and you have my blessing.

 

 

Exactly this. 99% of the time it comes across like you covered a pizza in sugar for someone with an 8 year old's palette who doesn't even notice the abominable texture.

 

Anyway, pineapple and normal cheese? You are like a little baby, I have a durian and stinking bishop creation cooking in the oven.

 

I can see people in yellow hazmat suits approaching the house from my kitchen window.

 

lol durian and stinking bishop

 

fucking rank >.<

 

the day after must be terrible too

 

edit: actually I'm not sure what would be worse spi, eating that or passing it the next day. Do you warn the neighbours so they don't call in emergency services?

Edited by Bulk VanderHooj
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Page after page of debate and yet pineapple on pizza is still delicious and and an extremely high-brow, esoteric culinary experience for those who know the score.

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Haha, sorry man, but mint sauce with lamb/beef? Red currant compote with chicken, turkey or pork? Duck l'orange? They're friggin tasty man! bacon fried w/ apples n onions? Oh yes please!

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Most fruit sauces/compotes/condiments etc. meant for consumption with meats (I.e not jam or marmelade) also come in jello form.

 

The dessert thing is called jelly, isn't it?

They're nice too, but not with meat ;D

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can't say I've ever seen jelly served as a condiment, must be an american thing. the only gelatin related meat dish I know about is aspic, but the less said about that the better.

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I've had mint and cranberry jello, from a jar, from a supermarket, as a condiment, for meat. So I assume they make it in a variety of flavors.

 

Yeah aspic, meat flavored jello... nasty stuff

 

But anyway. Appreciate the fruit/meat combo and you're well on your way to understanding the merits of the pineapple on the pizza.

 

And, pineapple on pizza. Is it a high or lowbrow dish? Is eating cheeses that smell like unwashed genitals considered high brow?

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mint sauce is another thing though. there is a mint raita (a dressing made with yoghurt) that is used with meat dishes in subcontinental food. that rocks. but I don't know what this jelly thing you're all talking about is though, doesn't sound like the same thing.

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But anyway. Appreciate the fruit/meat combo and you're well on your way to understanding the merits of the pineapple on the pizza.

A

I appreciate it. No.

Next time you fart, smell it in deep. Feel that satisfaction. That is your scent. Ur breakfast made it. Then you'll understand.

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