stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[Himelstein]

17 hours ago, aencre said:

Was informed that there was a debate on a prominent comics criticism website on whether I was dead. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this information.

Change your username on the site to Boston Brand, Jim Craddock, or Jim Corrigan.

[milkface]

BRUHHHH I AM FINISHED :(((((((((((( I GOT AN EXTENSION ON SOME UNI WORK AND I HAVENT STARTED IT YET AND ITS DUE TOMORROW AND ITS A MASSIVE PROJECT AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM DOING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[zkom]

On 5/23/2021 at 12:57 AM, Zephyr_Nova said:

Frustrated that there's no "laugh" or "big brain" reaction option for youtube vids.

I'm frustrated with LinkedIn only having more or less positive reactions, but that's expected I guess with the usual corporate bullshit that it is. But I mean ffs. Can't I dislike something please?

 

[Wunderbar]

17 minutes ago, zkom said:

I'm frustrated with LinkedIn only having more or less positive reactions, but that's expected I guess with the usual corporate bullshit that it is. But I mean ffs. Can't I dislike something please?

 

What is linkdin like ? Is it just facebook but instead of mothers you have old men ?

Edited May 24, 2021 by Wunderbar

[zkom]

1 minute ago, Wunderbar said:

What is linkdin like ? Is it just facebook but instead of mothers you have old men ?

Instead of mothers you have corporate shills, recruiters, marketing people, etc posting about how great their respective companies and their products are and then the rest of the users are just trying to connect with as many people as possible in hopes of getting job offers.

It's a hellhole but I get like 95% of my job offers through it so I guess I'm going to bear it in the future also.

[Wunderbar]

Honestly the corporate world seems so fake to me it honestly baffles me how people do it and succeed at it.

Wish i could do something like what  Mike does from Better call saul.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mike+better+call+saul+job&tbm=isch#imgrc=HqJqDaNJkypFzM&imgdii=vYWsXNTo1t0S7M

Just sitting there reading a book or something and push the button every now and then seems very peaceful to me.

What do you do for a living if u don't mind me asking @zkom?

Edited May 24, 2021 by Wunderbar

[zkom]

1 minute ago, Wunderbar said:

Honestly the corporate world seems so fake to me it honestly baffles me how people do it and succeed at it.

Wish i could do something like what  Mike does from Better call saul.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mike+better+call+saul+job&tbm=isch#imgrc=HqJqDaNJkypFzM&imgdii=vYWsXNTo1t0S7M

Just sitting there reading a book or something and push the button every now and then seems very peaceful to me.

What do you do for a living if u don't mind me asking @zkom?

I'm a software engineer.

Somebody actually described LinkedIn as a reverse Tinder for male software professionals. In Tinder you are trying to connect to tons of women who all ignore you. In LinkedIn you are contacted by tons of recruiters who you all ignore.

[Wunderbar]

honestly wish people would just start fucking recruiters in the ass.

[dingformung]

i wanna fuck

 

[J3FF3R00]

On 5/16/2021 at 3:08 PM, J3FF3R00 said:

 There’s a little more than a week of this to go. 

Update… 2.5 days to go. 
This week has been loaded with so many micro-aggressions that I’ve lost count. MIL (Mother In-Law) clearly sees me as competition for some unknown reason and is doing so much passive aggressive stuff, it’s absurd. I’ve basically resorted to complete withdrawal as almost anything I say gets  thrown back in my face because she interprets everything I say or do as a threat to her dominance. I could give you a laundry list but it would basically be me giving you all a textbook TLDR.

Two things I will mention:

1) she is pretty much zero help with the baby unless she can weaponize it in some way to try and prove some kind of point (which is usually something completely benign) so we’re having to do more way more work now that she’s visiting

2) she refuses to take off her shoes in the house because she sees it as me being irrational. We don’t have a housekeeper (she does) and my wife doesn’t clean at all so I’m the one who has to sweep/vacuum/clean the floors. Our house is pretty small and the yard is overrun with burrs, foxtails, black dust from the highway and cat shit from about 8 or 9 strays that use our yard as a litter box… oh yeah, and I also saw her walk in some human shit (long story).That all quickly gets all over the floors and ends up in bed on our feet. Please, if you don’t mind, take off your shoes at the front door. Not the most unreasonable request, is it?? Nope. She wears her dirty shoes in and I feel like a dick to have to keep asking politely but to her it’s me being oppressive or something so she either refuses or gives some performative “oh! Whoops! I’m wearing my shoes indoors! I’m breaking all the rules, I guess!” Or something like that. Then she drips water and drops tomato slices on the floor and marches all over them with her dirty shoes and I have to mop the damn floor. That and there are fuckin burrs and grass all over the damn rug. Then the act of me cleaning is interpreted by her as aggressive. WTF?? Someone please shoot me in the damn face please. 
 

[Silent Member]

On 5/22/2021 at 11:19 PM, aencre said:

Was informed that there was a debate on a prominent comics criticism website on whether I was dead. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this information.

Make a comeback

[Wunderbar]

11 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

oh! Whoops! I’m wearing my shoes indoors! I’m breaking all the rules, I guess!” Or something like that. Then she drips water and drops tomato slices on the floor and marches all over them with her dirty shoes and I have to mop the damn floor. That and there are fuckin burrs and grass all over the damn rug.

Dude why are you letting your MIL(F) walk all over you like that in which i assume is your own house, why dont you tell here to get the fuck out if she behaves like child ? Am i missing something here, why doesnt your gf tell her to behave?

[J3FF3R00]

9 minutes ago, Wunderbar said:

Dude why are you letting your MIL(F) walk all over you like that in which i assume is your own house, why dont you tell here to get the fuck out if she behaves like child ? Am i missing something here, why doesnt your gf tell her to behave?

My wife won’t back me up because she’s afraid of offending her mom. It’s really sensitive. I’m basically fucked because if I get mad at my MIL, not only does it become a war between us but my wife gets upset. 

[Squee]

Just had to explain to my girlfriend and sister what docking is.

[zero]

1 hour ago, Wunderbar said:

Dude why are you letting your MIL(F) walk all over you like that in which i assume is your own house, why dont you tell here to get the fuck out if she behaves like child ? Am i missing something here, why doesnt your gf tell her to behave?

don't know if you're married, have in-laws, or have a kid, but easier said than done. family dynamics can be so much more difficult once you have those things. I can no longer make decisions based on what is best for me, I have to make them based on a group, who all have their own opinions. it's basically chess match strategizing. you pick and choose your battles. 

[Wunderbar]

2 minutes ago, zero said:

don't know if you're married, have in-laws, or have a kid, but easier said than done. family dynamics can be so much more difficult once you have those things. I can no longer make decisions based on what is best for me, I have to make them based on a group, who all have their own opinions. it's basically chess match strategizing. you pick and choose your battles. 

No im neither of those, but this relation sounds toxic as fuck. She doesnt seem to respect him at all from what i can tell and everyone seems to accept that? He even talks about the MIL fucking with his babies sleep cycle. Now im no exepert but isnt sleep really important for a baby's development? I dont get how it isnt as easy as behave as an adult and respect each other or get out. Whats even the point in having a relationship with someone who doesnt like u and u dont like them.But im dumb and at the end of the day he shouldn't take advice from strangers on the internet anyway, because i dont actually know anything about their situation on relation.

[J3FF3R00]

4 hours ago, Wunderbar said:

No im neither of those, but this relation sounds toxic as fuck. She doesnt seem to respect him at all from what i can tell and everyone seems to accept that? He even talks about the MIL fucking with his babies sleep cycle. Now im no exepert but isnt sleep really important for a baby's development? I dont get how it isnt as easy as behave as an adult and respect each other or get out. Whats even the point in having a relationship with someone who doesnt like u and u dont like them.But im dumb and at the end of the day he shouldn't take advice from strangers on the internet anyway, because i dont actually know anything about their situation on relation.

I just appreciate that you are on my side

[ignatius]

45 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

I just appreciate that you are on my side

"kill them w/kindness" comes to mind.  but seems a more long term strategy than actual solution to the cucumber situation. 

 

[Himelstein]

8 hours ago, J3FF3R00 said:

Update… 2.5 days to go. 
This week has been loaded with so many micro-aggressions that I’ve lost count. MIL (Mother In-Law) clearly sees me as competition for some unknown reason and is doing so much passive aggressive stuff, it’s absurd. I’ve basically resorted to complete withdrawal as almost anything I say gets  thrown back in my face because she interprets everything I say or do as a threat to her dominance. I could give you a laundry list but it would basically be me giving you all a textbook TLDR.

Two things I will mention:

1) she is pretty much zero help with the baby unless she can weaponize it in some way to try and prove some kind of point (which is usually something completely benign) so we’re having to do more way more work now that she’s visiting

2) she refuses to take off her shoes in the house because she sees it as me being irrational. We don’t have a housekeeper (she does) and my wife doesn’t clean at all so I’m the one who has to sweep/vacuum/clean the floors. Our house is pretty small and the yard is overrun with burrs, foxtails, black dust from the highway and cat shit from about 8 or 9 strays that use our yard as a litter box… oh yeah, and I also saw her walk in some human shit (long story).That all quickly gets all over the floors and ends up in bed on our feet. Please, if you don’t mind, take off your shoes at the front door. Not the most unreasonable request, is it?? Nope. She wears her dirty shoes in and I feel like a dick to have to keep asking politely but to her it’s me being oppressive or something so she either refuses or gives some performative “oh! Whoops! I’m wearing my shoes indoors! I’m breaking all the rules, I guess!” Or something like that. Then she drips water and drops tomato slices on the floor and marches all over them with her dirty shoes and I have to mop the damn floor. That and there are fuckin burrs and grass all over the damn rug. Then the act of me cleaning is interpreted by her as aggressive. WTF?? Someone please shoot me in the damn face please. 
 

Yeah, man, I had the same thing going on for a long time. Especially the shoe thing. Her whole family is like that. Eventually I gave up. I am the cleaner as well, so I totally feel you.

The longer you are together, the more your wife will be on your side. Trust me, I’ve been with my wife since we were really young- it really gets better. I know how frustrating it is, but think about how mil feels. Her daughter now doesn’t need her at all. She probably feels like the fact that you are better at cleaning is some type of passive aggressive shit against her and is retaliating. I’m not at all taking her side, u are in the right, but hang in there and just remember your mil will go home eventually.

[J3FF3R00]

1 hour ago, Himelstein said:

Yeah, man, I had the same thing going on for a long time. Especially the shoe thing. Her whole family is like that. Eventually I gave up. I am the cleaner as well, so I totally feel you.

The longer you are together, the more your wife will be on your side. Trust me, I’ve been with my wife since we were really young- it really gets better. I know how frustrating it is, but think about how mil feels. Her daughter now doesn’t need her at all. She probably feels like the fact that you are better at cleaning is some type of passive aggressive shit against her and is retaliating. I’m not at all taking her side, u are in the right, but hang in there and just remember your mil will go home eventually.

Thanks homie! 

btw, we’ve been together almost 20 years
 

[J3FF3R00]

2 hours ago, ignatius said:

"kill them w/kindness" comes to mind.  but seems a more long term strategy than actual solution to the cucumber situation. 

 

I’ve considered this and I usually try this strategy but it is really really really really difficult to on this trip because she has insulted my dead father twice… once in front of other family members at a dinner table, after which I humbly said “my dad wasn’t all bad and I loved him”. Following that (which happened after the cucumber incident, for the record), things progressively got worse, I assume primarily because I challenged her by standing up for myself when I got my feelings hurt. Given that, it feels like I have been killing her with kindness by being passively agreeable… to no avail, obviously. 

[Himelstein]

36 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

Thanks homie! 

btw, we’ve been together almost 20 years
 

That’s good, I rarely talk to anyone that’s been with someone that long. My wife and I had our first really young (bad kids)- she’s 22 now, and she sees a lot of that same stuff with the in-laws. It’s nice to have people in your corner. I think most times in laws feel really threatened. I see it with my side of the family too, for sure, but it’s more neurotic or something. The in-laws are more “we are gonna walk in with shoes on, because you will be an asshole if you mention it” and also I’m somehow no fun, and not trying to party. Like being dirty when your in your late 30s is a party prerequisite. Ridiculous.

I feel your pain.

[drillkicker]

On 5/23/2021 at 7:39 AM, hello spiral said:

 

I'm on the other end of this rn and it feels pretty good.  Almost makes up for still being out of work.

[Himelstein]

36 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

I’ve considered this and I usually try this strategy but it is really really really really difficult to on this trip because she has insulted my dead father twice… once in front of other family members at a dinner table, after which I humbly said “my dad wasn’t all bad and I loved him”. Following that (which happened after the cucumber incident, for the record), things progressively got worse, I assume primarily because I challenged her by standing up for myself when I got my feelings hurt. Given that, it feels like I have been killing her with kindness by being passively agreeable… to no avail, obviously. 

That sucks about the dad comment. Just trying to get under your skin.

One thing my in-laws do that drives me nuts is say things about my kids (compliments or whatever) and then using their last name like “oh he’s such a Smith” or “growing up into a real Smith” and I’m like “that’s not their fucking last names!” It’s totally passive aggressive and weird, but somehow I’d be an asshole if I said anything.

[ignatius]

56 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

I’ve considered this and I usually try this strategy but it is really really really really difficult to on this trip because she has insulted my dead father twice… once in front of other family members at a dinner table, after which I humbly said “my dad wasn’t all bad and I loved him”. Following that (which happened after the cucumber incident, for the record), things progressively got worse, I assume primarily because I challenged her by standing up for myself when I got my feelings hurt. Given that, it feels like I have been killing her with kindness by being passively agreeable… to no avail, obviously. 

oh fuck. that's a really difficult dinner table moment for sure. ugh. she sounds awfully challenging.  i think you're doing amazing then.  i mean..  my ex and i have gotten up and left her parents house to 'go get some air' a few times after moments not even half as tough as that.  i think there was even an intervention type situation at one point.. her sister is a clinical social worker so is good at taking things apart for people when she is up to being the therapist... other times the words "you need therapy, mom" have come out of more than one mouth.  thankfully, all the cousins and aunts and uncles talk on the phone and there's enough opinions about things that once some shit gets out in the open they can all way in and that usually means at least one person says "you're wrong" and causes some reflection.  you need an ambassador.. mediator. .middle child or someone like that. 

jeez man.. hang in there. at some point the pressure is going to require an outlet.