A few films recently watched.

[Squee]

edit: Just realised it was directed by the guy who did the Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Alien vs. Predator movies. No wonder it's shit.

 

Yep - Paul W.S. Anderson is the king of mediocre entertainment - I still somehow enjoy the Resident Evil movies even though they're a bunch of fucking dookie. But... you know... zombies... right?

[Blir]

Event Horizon is retarded as hell. It's a romp but not a serious horror. It has moments that are pretty great, like the flashes of the hell dimension, but otherwise is fucking goofy.

 

I've said this before, but it's basically Hellraiser in space.

[cruising for burgers]

• flash gordon 1980 - visually stunning, awesome neat wardrobe, queen ost, what else could you ask for a sunday afternoon??? 8/10
  
• i spit on your grave 1978 - the remake was pretty cool, but these 70's actings are so awfully retarded that it spoils all the fun, i can understand if fans of the original hate the remake thought/10
  
• the last house on the left 1972 - same, i don't th ink i've seen the remake, but damn, i don't believe that this can be shocking to anyone who sees it for the first time nowadays/10
  
• aliens 1986 - lol, my cheesiness naive child filter isn't working anymore 6,5/10
  
• george washington - pretty cool, reminded me of gummo and kids and all those america's lost generation flicks 7/10
  
• the hills have eyes 2003 - i have the original to watch but i don't think i'll enjoy it more than this remake, it's awesome, almost flawless, simple straight to the point total massacre followed by blind adrenaline fueled vengeance 9/10
  
• dune 1984 - fuck the plot, it's candy for your eyes and ears, specially in Bluray, i don't think i've ever seen such disgusting "bad guys", the cheesy special fx are a must 8/10
  
• mad max 1979 - best one in the madmax series imo, slow paced road loner vengeance, i don't love cars irl but this movie gives me a hard-on 8/10
  
• mad max 2 1981 - yes but no, most of the magic of the 1st one is gone, there's too much people involved 7/10
  
• casa de mi padre - i'm a will ferrell sucker 6,5/10
  

[kinski]

• the last house on the left 1972 - same, i don't th ink i've seen the remake, but damn, i don't believe that this can be shocking to anyone who sees it for the first time nowadays/10
  
• 
  

 

dunno. i saw it few years ago and was kinda shocked at the pointlessness of the violence. it's kinda like funny games, really, just shitty acted and made to pass as a horror movie. but i absolute loved it. violence is the shit.

[cruising for burgers]

• the last house on the left 1972 - same, i don't th ink i've seen the remake, but damn, i don't believe that this can be shocking to anyone who sees it for the first time nowadays/10
  
• 
  

 

dunno. i saw it few years ago and was kinda shocked at the pointlessness of the violence. it's kinda like funny games, really, just shitty acted and made to pass as a horror movie. but i absolute loved it. violence is the shit.

funny games, original or remake, i saw the remake and it was quite efficient, don't even think it was bad acted... naomi watts, tim roth, bad acting??? maybe you hate the hipster kids...

[Cryptowen]

Event Horizon is retarded as hell. It's a romp but not a serious horror. It has moments that are pretty great, like the flashes of the hell dimension, but otherwise is fucking goofy.

This basically. I found it to be like 90% goofy forgettable 90s horror sci-fi, 10% very unsettling gore shots that worked because of how unexpectedly brutal & brief they were

[FLA FUR BIS FLE]

Event Horizon is retarded as hell. It's a romp but not a serious horror. It has moments that are pretty great, like the flashes of the hell dimension, but otherwise is fucking goofy.

 

I've said this before, but it's basically Hellraiser in space.

 

I know he doesn't have anything to do with Event Horizon, but the movie screams Clive Barker to me, and Clive Barker makes me really uncomfortable. Not in a good scary/creepy way, I am just not sure how he was ever taken seriously.

 

Night Breed is by far the best of any thing he was involved with, just because of the lols. Rawhead Rex being the runner up.

[kinski]

• the last house on the left 1972 - same, i don't th ink i've seen the remake, but damn, i don't believe that this can be shocking to anyone who sees it for the first time nowadays/10
  
• 
  

 

dunno. i saw it few years ago and was kinda shocked at the pointlessness of the violence. it's kinda like funny games, really, just shitty acted and made to pass as a horror movie. but i absolute loved it. violence is the shit.

funny games, original or remake, i saw the remake and it was quite efficient, don't even think it was bad acted... naomi watts, tim roth, bad acting??? maybe you hate the hipster kids...

 

no, i meant last house on the left. never saw the funny games remake, but the original is flawless. if it wasn't for de siebente kntinent it would be my favouite haneke movie.

[kinski]

the stand - for something that cost 28mil of dollars and got a pretty well known cast it's terribly directed and acted. like, rob lowe can't even play being beaten in a way that it's believable. plus the randall guy in denim and sporting a mullet was a lol. it's got realism of an ed wood flick. at one point one of the characters (a girl from breakfast club, in a scene with PARKER LEWIS) whips out a box of old 7 inch records (that looks kinda 50s) and plays one - it turns out to be crowded house's 'don't dream it's over'.

 

but all in all it's pretty fun. as a fan of b-movies and the novel (king in general, really, spent my early teenage years reading every one of his book available) it was really easy on the eye. a lot better than the day after, that's for sure.

 

fever pitch (us remake) - B'AWWW SO CUTE. fallon's adorable. and genuinely funny. whole movie is this warm and fuzzy feel-good flick. it's cheesy. i don't know. so maybe i'm a menopause woman inside. fuck you.

 

pootie tang - mildly amusing. less than fever pitch. the whole pootie joke gets old fast.

[data]

the perfect host 7/10

[Guest Blanket Fort Collapse]

Comedian (2002 docu about Jerry Seinfeld and at the time up and comer Orny Adams) - 6/10 - I'm very interested in stand up comedy and I'm sure I will give it a shot as hobby in a few years so It was interesting enough. I respect Jerry but this could have been such a better documentary. Orny Adams was like the fucking... oh yeah Lars Ulrich of stand ups in this with his doucheyness, dear god. So annoying but, thankfully Adams didn't end up really holding on to any real success.

[Squee]

Noroi - 5/10

 

Got a few scares out of me.

[geosmina]

The Amytiville Horror (2005): Shit's tight 8/10

[Guest Jimmy McMessageboard]

you only live twice

the idea behind this film is great (spacecrafts being captured in space to cause worldwar) more so than the usual extortion bad guy. unfortunately the rest seems to be a japan tourist information film. ninjas with guns! bonds "transformation" into a japanese man is incredible. why did he marry that island girl? if it was pretend and a false name? oh yes to show a japanese wedding.

 

why are bond girls never actually sexy? when was the first sexy bond girl?

[Ivan Ooze]

Human centipide 2 : fucking awesome sequel 9/10 the scat whas the onley thing in colour and the badguy was brilliant like the first

Wakewood : it had something but overall stupid 5/10

Half Nelson: 8/10 fucking lol and the little girl was awesome

Rango: Lot's of wtf moments and i don't know what the point of the movie was but the animation and most of the humour was great 8/10

The devil's double: utter bullshit and some of the worst acting i seen in a while 3/10

Hugo: meh 6/10

[kinski]

The Amytiville Horror (2005): Shit's tight 8/10

 

YES. this is so underrated.

[Guest Frankie5fingers]

The Amytiville Horror (2005): Shit's tight 8/10

 

YES. this is so underrated.

love that movie. really is a great one. and a fun fact, i actually used to live about 30 mins from that house when i was a kid. i would pass by it every now and again. and you know, if you know the story behind it that house is much MUCH scarier in person. even just driving by it.

[eugene]

my perestroika - 9/10 (though there a probably a extra point there for nostalgia alone)

[awepittance]

wait the remake of Amityville Horror starring none other than Ryan Reynolds is actually watchable / passable? i find that extremely hard to believe

[cruising for burgers]

who would have guessed?

[Guest Frankie5fingers]

woops! man, i don't know what i was thinking. i was talking about the original from '79. lol. but yeah the 2005 one isn't that bad to be honest. and trust me, i fucking hate Ryan Reynolds.

[perunamuusi]

Open Hearts (Elsker dig for evigt) - Another Brilliant Susanne Bier film. Beautifully played. Brilliant example and justification of the Dogme 95 manifesto. Mads Mikkelsen seems to be in everything I watch these days or maybe I'm just always watching Susanne Bier films. Admittedly I'm a sucker for things that leave me feeling really really sad. The film equivalent of Sebadoh's "Soul and Fire". 9 / 10

 

Please Give - Didn't really know what to think after this. Engaging in a soapy way without ever really going anywhere or saying anything. Always enjoy Cath Keener and I do like Oliver whatsis(pudgy)face from the Big C. Could easily have hated it for the Ubiquitous indie-soundtrack-by-numbers twee Guitar/Piano/Xylophone rubbish that was nice when Jim O'rourke etc were doing it in the 90s but now makes every "indie" film sound like a Mobile Phone or Bank commercial. 5 / 10

 

The Kids are Alright - Liked. Always enjoy watching Julianne Moore. Probaby in love with her a bit. Need to stop judging films based on how much I like the female leads.... I mean - How long would the Die Antwoord threads be if Yolandi was a adolescent looking boy?.... Actually .... this is WATMM - Don't answer that. 7 /10

 

Win Win - Ah... A good male lead - Paul Giamatti - Hollywood's unsung go-to guy. Can't actually remember much about this. The kid character was pretty good. Seem to remember thinking something along the lines of "Little Miss Sunshine with Wrestling"... Probably had annoying twee Indie soundtrack. Think it was OK. Oh yeah... Jeffrey Tambor - it's all coming back to me now.... Quite a fun little fim in a Little Miss Sunshine with Wrestling kinda way 6.6 / 10

 

I'm Not Scared - Just about satisfactory for a rainy Sunday Afternoon. Pretty boring on the whole though. Nice scenery. 4 / 10

[kinski]

wait the remake of Amityville Horror starring none other than Ryan Reynolds is actually watchable / passable? i find that extremely hard to believe

 

well IT IS good. same with often overlooked vacancy with luke wilson, playing out the 80s horror vibe in a very convincing manner. never underestimate a mainstream horror flick. like kevin smith's red state. when it gets batshit crazy it's totes awe inspiring. kids born today will eat it up like kids born in late 80s eat up remake of blob or whatever. shit's legit.

[cruising for burgers]

no love for the hills have eyes remake?

[perunamuusi]

*jots it down*

 

First ever non comedic use of the *jots it down* watmm-meme