Films Recently Watched

[data]

 

live action based on an anime i used to be totally hooked on back in the day when i was into anime. not quite as shit as i expected. it's got all the usual overacting and overdramatization you get from japanese films like these, still though, 6.5/10, if nothing else then just for the fight/sword scenes alone.

[Guest Jimmy McMessageboard]

It came as no surprise to me that the girl in it was from Parks & Rec, another tedious cringe comedy.

she seemed to be the same character too. at least based on my very limited amount of parks n rec.

[cruising for burgers]

It came as no surprise to me that the girl in it was from Parks & Rec, another tedious cringe comedy.

she seemed to be the same character too. at least based on my very limited amount of parks n rec.

yes, and the guy is the guy from the league...

[Guest Mirezzi]

If I were feeling generous, I'd agree with Awkward and YO303 about Safety Not Guaranteed. It was like Napoleon Dynamite, more or less. It's heart was in the right place, but it was too precious/stupid by half.

 

It came as no surprise to me that the girl in it was from Parks & Rec, another tedious cringe comedy. I'm just ready for the entire universe of cringe comedies to fucking implode and go away. They had their decade. It's time to go now.

 

 

Im unfamiliar with Parks n' Rec....what exactly is "cringe comedy"....like shock laughs?

 

Awkward and embarassing moments for laughter. The (highly overrated) Office is what kicked off the whole thing. I also find cringe comedy tedious.

 

Actually I don't mind Curb sometimes.

 

Yeah, but I think Curb is more Woody Allen than a direct cousin of The Office.

 

The cringe comedies I'm referring to are definitely driven by the zany and embarrassing Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, David Brent, Garreth Keenan, bla bla bla.

[awepittance]

i thought Cosmopolis was pretty good, the dialog was hard to take but i got used to it after about 15 minutes. Could have done without the final scene, the movie was pretty strong until the ending. Probably my favorite Cronenberg movie since Existenz, but i haven't been that into more of his 'straight' stuff, this is definitely his weirdest movie in years. Beautifully shot film too especially since most of it takes place in a limo.

[Guest Mirezzi]

Cabin in the Woods - It was fun, a lot of it in fact. It was also a bit belabored and I think they should have dialed back the layers of complexity a few notches. Perhaps more than anything else, I loved its lean 85 minute length.

 

The blonde was also delicious.

[ambermonk]

Watched Team America: World Police for the first time yesterday. I pretty much laughed my ass off throughout the whole movie.
The only part I could've done without was when Gary returned to the TA base hidden in Mt. Rushmore after Michael Moore went kamikaze on it, and Spottswoode convinced Gary that the only way to win back his trust was to perform fellatio on him. If Parker and Stone did that scene differently, then I would give the movie a little higher rating. That being said, I give it an 8/10.

[Guest Jimmy McMessageboard]

It came as no surprise to me that the girl in it was from Parks & Rec, another tedious cringe comedy.

she seemed to be the same character too. at least based on my very limited amount of parks n rec.

yes, and the guy is the guy from the league...

 

Yeah he is a duplass brother. so he is also behind cyrus (which i liked) and jeff, who lives at home (which i also liked)

I recognized him from the league but i couldnt watch past 3 episodes of that show.

 

Cabin in the Woods - It was fun, a lot of it in fact. It was also a bit belabored and I think they should have dialed back the layers of complexity a few notches. Perhaps more than anything else, I loved its lean 85 minute length.

 

probably in my top 5 of the year.

[Ego]

Tabu - Fantastic mood piece, great aesthetic, made with a lot of love for film and sound. Magic. 5/5

[lumpenprol]

Cabin in the Woods - It was fun, a lot of it in fact. It was also a bit belabored and I think they should have dialed back the layers of complexity a few notches. Perhaps more than anything else, I loved its lean 85 minute length.

 

The blonde was also delicious.

Noooooo....lol. Can't believe you liked that utter pos. "Layers of complexity"? What are you on about, the plot isn't complex at all, it's the sort of idea I'm sure Whedon and Goddard thought of while stoned, then patted each other on the back for their own "cleverness." The premise didn't even have any logical consistency.

 

are we supposed to believe that a) each culture has culture-specific demons that can only be defeated in culturally-specific ways, or b) all cultures have universal archetypes such as the virgin, jock, etc? The TV screen shows the Japanese Ringu demon being defeated by schoolgirls singing, apparently. If so, then how could the American characters have defeated the zombie attackers? And how do the japanese schoolgirls fulfill the jock, virgin, etc stereotypes? Shit was just stoopid

 

I'm almost embarrassed to write that spoiler, as it's already more thought than the movie deserves. Last time I saw a movie so obviously pandering to the dumb dudebro/dudette demographic was the equally retarded Zombieland...

[Guest Mirezzi]

That's what I meant, Lumpy. We're not talking Inception complexity. We're talking gimmicks within gimmicks within gimmicks. At the round table of producers and writers, they took about three too many ideas.

 

I dunno what you wanted from CITW, but I got out of it about what I expected.

 

Zombieland, conversely, was boring the moment the opening credits ended.

[lumpenprol]

I dunno, I was pretty let down, I heard CITW was "clever" and "fresh" and the like, so I figured it actually was. But it ended up being a big fat B movie with unbefittingly-high production values. I dunno it made me angry. I wouldn't have been angry if it had been a lot funnier, but I didn't find it that funny.

 

Let's talk about some other shit movies while we're at it.

 

Total Recall remake: Fucking christ. Watch closely and you can hear the muffled screams of skilled concept artists and 3D artists watching as their brilliant work is put in the service of something utterly redundant and trite. I also hate how we all have to be fucking feminists now - killing his wife and saying "considah dat a divorahs" just doesn't fly in oh-so-progressive 2-0-1-2. So instead Kate Beckinsale overstays her welcome by about, oh, 2 hrs. Plus we have Jessica Biel trying to act instead of, you know, getting naked. I usually like Colin Farrel as a comedic actor, unfortunately the script gives him nothing to work with.

 

Bourne Legacy: The first hour or so of this film has to be seen to be believed. It's actually completely incomprehensible, which is something of a feat. In an attempt to slavish tie in the film with its predecessors, it creates a bunch of cross-connections with the earlier films at the start - problem being I had forgotten all of these incidents, so it ended up practically being gibberish. Eventually ended up having a few decent action sequences and an "oh let's just end here" wtf ending. But the intro bit is a textbook example of "how not to start a film". It's drier than a history channel documentary, and makes less sense. It assumes the viewer is in love with Tony Gilroy's previous films as much as he himself apparently is. Plus its padded (a long dialogue sequence with a completely unnecessary character just to see him get blown up a few moments later).

 

Edit: Oh ALSO: biggest WTF goes to Albert Finney for getting a facelift that makes him nearly unrecognizable! Which is a shame because I used to love his face and acting. I can just imagine Tony Gilroy cursing him under his breath "thanks for fucking up all the flashbacks, Albert, with your new bizarro severed-nerve looking monstrosity". I kept doing a mental "is that really Albert Finney??" every time I saw him onscreen...

Edited January 3, 2013 by lumpenprol

[TRiP]

I loved CITW - one of my top cinema going experiences - however, this was walking in with no preconceptions or expectations

Beasts of the Southern Wild - worst thing i've seen in ages, absolute balls. First 10 minutes I kept saying to myself "no, stop, you're being too negative, allow it time..." oh how wrong i was - just terrible

[Guest boo]

Cabin in the Woods - It was fun, a lot of it in fact. It was also a bit belabored and I think they should have dialed back the layers of complexity a few notches. Perhaps more than anything else, I loved its lean 85 minute length.

 

The blonde was also delicious.

Noooooo....lol. Can't believe you liked that utter pos. "Layers of complexity"? What are you on about, the plot isn't complex at all, it's the sort of idea I'm sure Whedon and Goddard thought of while stoned, then patted each other on the back for their own "cleverness." The premise didn't even have any logical consistency.

 

are we supposed to believe that a) each culture has culture-specific demons that can only be defeated in culturally-specific ways, or b) all cultures have universal archetypes such as the virgin, jock, etc? The TV screen shows the Japanese Ringu demon being defeated by schoolgirls singing, apparently. If so, then how could the American characters have defeated the zombie attackers? And how do the japanese schoolgirls fulfill the jock, virgin, etc stereotypes? Shit was just stoopid

 

I'm almost embarrassed to write that spoiler, as it's already more thought than the movie deserves. Last time I saw a movie so obviously pandering to the dumb dudebro/dudette demographic was the equally retarded Zombieland...

 

it wasn't about defeating anything. they're just offered as a sacrifice and are supposed to die. usually in horror films defeating the baddie is the least important thing. more about survival and how the characters get killed. japanese demons require schoolchildren and american ones want american high school stereotypes.. a reference to movie cliches. the schoolchildren demon defeat was supposed to be funny i reckon.

 

yeah i agree that it's not a very funny film though.

[Guest Mirezzi]

The lols were super fleeting in CITW. In fact, I can probably count on one hand how many good lols there were. Its attempts at humor were more or less similar to other insipid, lazy Hollywood shit: Napoleon Dynamite, Safety Not Guaranteed, Little Miss Sunshine, etc. "Look, he's wearing moon boots! FUCKING LOL, I REMEMBER MOON BOOTS. WHAT A DORKY FUCKING DORK!!!!1" The premises in CITW were never funny enough alone, so some clever writing was needed. Alas, most of the dialog was dull.

 

I maintain that enough of the film was original and clever to keep me from writing a giant whiny post about it, but it's nowhere near the masterpiece some believe it to be. All the same, I'm a huge 80's horror films supporter, so even a by-numbers homage would have gotten far with me. Plus, that tweeny looking blonde really gave me a shameful boner and I felt totally manipulated by the manipulative manipulation of that scene where she flashes the boobies. As as sophisticated gentleman of refined values and tastes, I prefer European brunettes, or so I thought. Good job there, CITW.

[dr lopez]

The lols were super fleeting in CITW. In fact, I can probably count on one hand how many good lols there were. Its attempts at humor were more or less similar to other insipid, lazy Hollywood shit: Napoleon Dynamite, Safety Not Guaranteed, Little Miss Sunshine, etc. "Look, he's wearing moon boots! FUCKING LOL, I REMEMBER MOON BOOTS. WHAT A DORKY FUCKING DORK!!!!1" The premises in CITW were never funny enough alone, so some clever writing was needed. Alas, most of the dialog was dull.

 

I maintain that enough of the film was original and clever to keep me from writing a giant whiny post about it, but it's nowhere near the masterpiece some believe it to be. All the same, I'm a huge 80's horror films supporter, so even a by-numbers homage would have gotten far with me. Plus, that tweeny looking blonde really gave me a shameful boner and I felt totally manipulated by the manipulative manipulation of that scene where she flashes the boobies. As as sophisticated gentleman of refined values and tastes, I prefer European brunettes, or so I thought. Good job there, CITW.

you have severely misunderstood napoleon dynamite

[Guest Mirezzi]

No, I haven't. It was just shit.

[pcock]

you know i literally quite often watch films that you hate on simply because i quite often enjoy them haha. not heard of this safety garaunteed but i think i might give it a blast.

Edited January 3, 2013 by messiaen

[Guest Mirezzi]

you know i literally quite often watch films that you hate on simply because i quite often enjoy them haha. not heard of this safety garaunteed but i think i might give it a blast.

 

It's probably a wise policy, but do you have an example of when you've done this?

 

By the way, lumpy: I couldn't agree more about Bourne Legacy. It was so fucking awful I didn't want to waste more than 10 rage/rant calories on a WATMM post.

 

Tony Gilroy needs to step away from filmmaking, probably permanently. His best work was The Cutting Edge; it's been downhill (and fast) ever since.

Edited January 3, 2013 by The Overlook

[Nebraska]

 

even though this film takes place during a time when giallo films were being made (late 60s to mid 70s) it's not a giallo and rather- a clinical look at sound design for film. the giallo angle just happens to part of the fetish used by the director and co. to give it a unique angle and perhaps indulge in a little "homage" to influences

 

there is some great acting from the lead (toby jones) though he's not given much to expand on (besides constantly looking mystified and occasional outbursts of stabbing cabbages) and even though the entire thing hinges upon his character getting lost into a blurred vortex of fantasy(film) mimicking reality, there is absolutely naught as far as emotional attachement to the character (unless you absolutely love toby jones).

 

6/10

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

I guess the soundtrack of this has to be better.

[cruising for burgers]

If I were feeling generous, I'd agree with Awkward and YO303 about Safety Not Guaranteed. It was like Napoleon Dynamite, more or less. It's heart was in the right place, but it was too precious/stupid by half.

 

It came as no surprise to me that the girl in it was from Parks & Rec, another tedious cringe comedy. I'm just ready for the entire universe of cringe comedies to fucking implode and go away. They had their decade. It's time to go now.

 

 

first of all that shitty movie is getting way too much attention even if it's bad press, it's a shitty movie it doesn't deserve so much characters spent on it... period!

 

second, it is in no way similar to napoleon dynamite, there's no heart and emo shit in napoleon, like someone said, you completely missed the point of napoleon... get some sleep tiger!

 

lastly, tell me good comedy series that aren't cringe comedy! i don't think there's many...

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073507/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264235/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367279/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0193676/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445114/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0290978/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480684/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1235547/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1255913/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0273028/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1702042/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1695989/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903747/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2141186/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0866442/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1743880/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460649/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1826940/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1266020/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1439629/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898266/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386676/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1553644/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1759761/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1492966/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0876298/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0487869/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2246569/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1299729/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167739/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903747/

 

 

oh and btw, CITW really sucked hard, maybe you were on drugs but that was one of the dumbest shit ever in film, yeah i know it's not trying to be clever even if it looks like, it's just a satire on horror movies and cliches but damn, shallow shit... oh and horrible cgi!

Edited January 4, 2013 by THIS IS MICHAEL JACKSON

[Guest Mirezzi]

No, I'm pretty sure Napoleon Dynamite was just shit. That's okay though. You two can have a cuddle and watch it without me. I'm not bothered.

 

You're right about cringe comedies though. With very few exceptions, it's difficult to escape them.

 

Riding shotgun along cringe comedies and incredibly similar in the Obnoxious Factor are all the Wes Anderson clones, of which Napoleon Dynamite is undoubtedly a member. Fuck it, fuck you, fuck all of those movies. Bye.

Edited January 4, 2013 by The Overlook

[cruising for burgers]

dude you're comparing the kind of humor in CITW with napoleon, little miss and safety whatever, someone call the troll hunter!!!

[Guest Mirezzi]

You apparently liked Napoleon Dynamite. That means your mother stomped your mewling face too many times when you were a baby.