stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[luke viia]

(I wrote a big thing about a seriously frustrating experience I had with negligent/reckless/idiot drivers that were almost certainly drunk and have left me with a significant mess to clean up... but I'm so damn mad I'm just gonna tell that story another day. So, a different one...)

A less aggravating though more horrifying, SFWP: last night was the most epic man v spider battle I have ever been engaged in. A huge hairy speedy bastard sprinted across the floor while I lay stoned on the couch dreaming of snacks. I resigned myself to the battle, but started peacefully, by attempting to place a wide mouth cup over the big guy and release him outside where he can do some good. He was too smart for that; indeed he seemed to understand my game on a level I did not expect, and scuttled off to a very crafty corner where my cup could not follow. I grabbed a little plywood corner off-cut from a recent project. Trying to coax him out of the corner didn't work. I told him it didn't need to be like this, but he had to come out or his life was over. He defied me. This spider was in full beast mode, and took over ten wallops with 3/4" plywood. He hid in my stacks of books and the only way to get him to reveal his location was to actually knock the stacks over. Finally I got him into the open, and still he refused to go down! I flattened this little piece of plywood on top of him, dragged it across the ground, let up, and he just walked it off. The fight lasted over five minutes, and on multiple occasions I thought for sure he'd escape and I'd be forced to sleep in mortal terror. He seemed to anticipate my every move, and I honestly feel bad for killing this spider; he was probably smarter than the drunk idiots I alluded to at the top of this post. I considered a proper burial but ultimately he found his grave in the refuse bin. Requiescat in pace, you monstrous manifestation of the will to live. 

[Zephyr_Nova]

Pizza lady tried to upsell me on a 2nd pizza for "50% off." When I asked how much my first pizza was, the answer was $11. With the second pizza the price jumped to... $28?? I told her that was significantly more than 50%, and went with my initial order. $28 is quite a far cry from the $16.50 that should have worked out to. How do they get away with this shit?

[diatoms]

                                                           i grew up in kansas where you were taught to kill every spider found in the house

                                                                        then in 2005 while asleep i was bit on the face by some rando arachnid

                                                                                                    something changed inside me

                                                                                       never smashed another spidey again

                                                                                 i became a defender of all things on a web

                                                                                   probably have at least 60 or more throughout the house in the corners and along the walls

                                                                         some had babies a couple of weeks ago

                                                                                    the ones here in ireland keep down the bugs

                                                                                                      and are very chill

[chronical]

7 minutes ago, diatoms said:

                                                           i grew up in kansas where you were taught to kill every spider found in the house

                                                                        then in 2005 while asleep i was bit on the face by some rando arachnid

                                                                                                    something changed inside me

                                                                                       never smashed another spidey again

                                                                                 i became a defender of all things on a web

                                                                                   probably have at least 60 or more throughout the house in the corners and along the walls

                                                                         some had babies a couple of weeks ago

                                                                                    the ones here in ireland keep down the bugs

                                                                                                      and are very chill

The Stryped Lynx Spider, commonly seen around Kansas is actually well known for its unique properties. The enzyme they spray from their digestive systems (after they bite you and hang you in the attic) actually fucks over your moral standpoint on forum formatting for people on mobile. You just end up not giving a fuck making everyone's day a little more miserable, until eventually, you too turn into a Stryped Lynx Spider.

[diatoms]

40 minutes ago, chronical said:

The Stryped Lynx Spider, commonly seen around Kansas is actually well known for its unique properties. The enzyme they spray from their digestive systems (after they bite you and hang you in the attic) actually fucks over your moral standpoint on forum formatting for people on mobile. You just end up not giving a fuck making everyone's day a little more miserable, until eventually, you too turn into a Stryped Lynx Spider.

                                                                          i too remember the stryped lynx spider

                                                                                                 now its striped

[luke viia]

@diatoms that's totally fair, I also generally do not harm spiders and tried to be kind to this one initially. BUT this was a hobo spider - they're big, fast as hell (average 17"/sec up to 40") and they bite. And apparently it hurts. I've never experienced that, thankfully. They also get spooked and run straight at you because they can't see worth a damn. I tried, man, I tried to be nice. But I wasn't about to have a Round Two with that little nightmare. 

 

 

Edited September 6, 2021 by luke viia

[ambermonk]

World's most dangerous spiders (graphic image warning): https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/the-worlds-most-dangerous-spiders-ranked/

Although not on this list, apparently bites from banana spiders can cause painful, prolonged erections.

[user]

12 minutes ago, ambermonke said:

World's most dangerous spiders (graphic image warning): https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/the-worlds-most-dangerous-spiders-ranked/

Although not on this list, apparently bites from banana spiders can cause painful, prolonged erections.

I always did wonder why they are called banana spiders

[luke viia]

On a different note, is there a way to mark certain albums you've bought as favorites on Bandcamp? I have a couple full discographies that are crowding my library and want very much to organize this chaos. Far too much good music to keep track of = sfwp. 

[usagi]

spiders belong in hell. I've heard all the stuff about catching/releasing 100x and I agree with it even, you should avoid killing them if possible. but if it's decided to hang out in the room I'm tryna chill/sleep in, particularly if I haven't been able to determine what type it is and how dangerous it might be, it dies on GP. you made a mistake comin' in 'ere, sonny jim.

[beerwolf]

I remember my first trip to Australia, I ended up doing some work on Scotland Island in Pittwater, which is about an hour north of Sydney. Though I had seen a couple of Huntsman spiders, nothing was to prepare me for the Funnel Web nirvana that I was about to face! My battery is on 5% and I will continue this story tomorrow. Also the night of the attack of White Tailed spiders (notorious for bites that rot your flesh) at the also notorious camping ground in Cape Otway! Hah for three nights we never saw anything. But the fourth night they all came out to greet us. Even now I remember that moment when the campsites generator died at 11pm and we were plunged into darkness with only our Boy Scout torches to illuminate the arachnid nightmare!!! Fucking trippy….

 

[drillkicker]

On 9/4/2021 at 2:22 PM, ambermonke said:

be subjected to peer pressure to get laid/find a partner, etc.

What kind of people are you socializing with?  Friends aren't supposed to pressure each other into making personal life choices they aren't comfortable with.  This sounds like a negative social environment.

[diatoms]

                                                                       lord of the spiders

                                                               limmy

 

[prdctvsm]

 

[ambermonk]

2 hours ago, drillkicker said:

What kind of people are you socializing with?  Friends aren't supposed to pressure each other into making personal life choices they aren't comfortable with.  This sounds like a negative social environment.

Co-workers primarily. Granted these are the same guys who only talk about car/truck engines and automotive maintenance half the time - subject matter I couldn't give two shits about.

[beerwolf]

Ah found the thread. Hopefully I can tell you my spider story later. I was gonna dig out old photo albums but they’re stored away and I can’t be arsed with all that. You can use your imagination instead ? 

[zkom]

On 9/3/2021 at 5:58 PM, Shimon_Shimon said:

Jesus. Give them some constructive feedback  There are some good recruiters out there, but I've met mostly tools. Had an instance when they asked me to confirm my resignation and start date before I'd even seen the contract, just a verbal "you have the job." was sufficient for them. 

I sent them some feedback saying that it doesn't paint a good picture of them as an employer to not contact for 4 months. Now I haven't heard of them since then, lol. Well, whatever.

For me the biggest problem with the recruiters is that some seem to be just eager to get the commission no matter what. Some of them don't give two shits if I actually would like the job or if I'm even qualified. I've even had to told some to stop fucking calling me and then block them.

I remember someone telling me a joke that LinkedIn is for programmers what Tinder is for hot girls. I kind of get it..

[zkom]

Now that I'm remembering I think this was the same fucker who lied about my salary expectations to the company to get me into the interview  That's why they were surprised when they heard what I was actually asking for.

[beerwolf]

Exhibit A

https://goo.gl/maps/4CbbDtof5KwHyZCf9

Here is Scotland Island, sitting in the rather picturesque Pittwater. I hope my link has worked correctly, there you will see from the satellite image a clearing of ground and a rather nice property sitting there, with its own wharf. Nice place, nice price, nice place for me to go fishing! To cut a long story short I was the one with an ex Vietnam vet Major Tim Bakker who cleared that ground, the elderly couple who lived there the lovely Bob and Anne had reached a time in life when they had to move from the Island to the mainland because it’s a bit of a fucking mission living on an island when you get to your 80’s. The whole plot was almost overgrown and the place needed sorting out to put on the market. Eventually the new owners would demolish the original house and build some crazy multi million dollar house but even so the few acres of land needed some brute force to clear. With my first meeting with Old fashioned Bob (pretty sure he called me Pommie Steve straight away and that’s how it would remain) he asked me if I had ever seen or had to deal with Funnel Web spiders of which I said I hadn’t, he pretty much told me straight that particular situation was going to change pretty much in the next few minutes! If I could deal with the spiders and snakes and ticks and heat  etc etc there was enough work to fund my trip up the east coast to Cape Tribulation. No worries then, better get started.

First of all he took me to an area where there was a line of maybe 50 piles of heavy roof tiles all piled up by the dozen. He gave me heavy work gloves which must be worn on all occasions and when ever I went to pick something up off the ground I was to flick it over with a screwdriver, never to put my fingers under anything without checking first. There was a Funnel Web nest under almost everyone of those 50 roof tiles sitting on the ground. The place was literally heaving with them. I was also under orders to kill them instantly as I guess loose and disturbed funnel webs could wander into the house. No pussyfooting about, no ‘let’s all worship Gods creatures because we hug trees’ the spade was smashed down on them and so they were crushed.

There is a gully that runs adjacent to their house next to the road and it is dark and damp cloaked in shade from trees and vegetation, even in summer it seems from memory a place that had its own microclimate. If you peered close enough the ground was pock marked with hundreds of holes. Maybe not all funnel webs but other terrifying critters. I’d always say to a local when walking past that gully ‘I’ll buy you a case of beer if you go in there and walk all the way to the top of the hill’ Nobody ever agreed.

The infamous campsite at Cape Otway maybe day after tomorrow. I think I may have nightmares tonight just thinking about all this….

Edited September 8, 2021 by beerwolf

[ignatius]

had to get new lenses. prescription changed.. so dropped off my frames. takes 2 weeks or so.. maybe less maybe more.. so in thee meantime i'm wearing older glasses w/out of date script so shit looks weird. then when i get the glasses w/the new script shit will be even weirder. 

i'm used to it. .having worn glasses since i was 2yrs old. my prescription doesn't change fast but every 3 years or so.. also, wtf lenses w/all the extras are expensive. 

[zkom]

I think I was complaining about huge African spiders earlier in this thread. Can't be arsed to go back and check.

Anyway here's a nice example from Zambia, although it's not the biggest one I came across, but one morning I woke up and this fucker was inside the mosquito net I was sleeping under. Haha, oh jesus.

[zero]

1 hour ago, toaoaoad said:

Calling a govt agency. Automated message said wait time would be about 10 minutes, and offered a callback option, "and we will call you back in ten minutes". Registered the callback. Got called back immediately, thought "hmm that's strange," and then proceeded to wait on hold for over 12 minutes, listening to that same goddamn loop of terrible music over and over again... Exactly what one hopes to avoid by selecting the callback option.

 

sounds like an improvement actually. I remember calling the CRA back when I lived there and it would just be a busy signal. no hold music, no call back option, nothing. you had to keep calling repeatedly in hopes someone would finally pick up. 

[Zephyr_Nova]

Spent almost 3 hours scrolling through memes in the dank thread while the telus guy set up my internet. He's still here and I'm out of memes.

[baph]

I haven’t been able to find a good (sustainable) job since 2014. I’m overqualified or under-qualified for everything.  I have a law degree from a top 20ish law school and it’s useless, but on the plus side it put me seemingly insurmountable debt.

Maybe I just actually suck at everything.  Hard not to feel like giving up most days, at this point. 

There’s a weird swelling on my cat’s abdomen and he’s almost 12 and I really need to have my little buddy around. 

Edited September 11, 2021 by baph

[Alcofribas]

this is a longer story than i feel like telling but basically i work at a restaurant and one time this young woman came in to eat by herself and subsequently came to the bar a few times where we were able to strike up a little mini friendship. there was a kind of cute thing where we both have FFA jackets (look it up, idiot) and a month ago before she moved to another state we exchanged pins on our jackets. so we've been in touch here and there via text, all very chill and nothing necessarily flirtatious or whatever. this weekend she came back into town for her bday and had dinner at my restaurant. ok first of all, she looked insanely beautiful. like a criminal level of hotness that should result in legal action. i got her a fancy pastry as a small bday gift which i gave to her at the end of the meal. which honestly was so nice of me. after work we went out with a few other work people and it was all super chill and normal and we sat together and sometimes would go into that little world where it's a bunch of people at a table but it felt like it was just the two of us sort of thing. she was staying with a friend so couldn't be out too late. and i guess honestly that's about it. but the FWP aspect of this is that i've compartmentalized this whole thing but last night it hit me kinda hard that i really like this person and it can never be for various reasons (she's really young and lives across the country). 

so yeah i'm a fucking incel so today i'll just go ahead and feel like shit and listen to sad loser music