J3FF3R00 Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 8 hours ago, drillkicker said: For some reason all of my friends have simultaneously stopped talking to me or become inaccessible right when I really can't be alone. I don't understand why this doesn't happen to anyone else. I can completely relate to you on this. Throughout the pandemic, I feel like most of my friends have vanished. I know that there’s obviously been a lot of unprecedented complication but it’s really weird that nobody even cares about keeping in touch. I’ve pretty much stopped trying with a lot of people that I would have never expected that sort of thing from. It was especially strange because we were expecting a baby throughout most of 2020 but nobody seemed to care. It made the isolation that much worse. I had my wife throughout it all but still, it hurts to see people peeling away. I wonder if it is actually some kind of phenomenon that people dig deeper into their own isolation in times of extreme challenges. Anyway. I talk to a therapist every week. I highly recommend it. btw, I’m pretty sure one of my “friends” who was radio silence for months may have just propositioned me for sexual favors in return for helping him out with a personal project. Incredibly awkward but also a bit sad. I’m like, can’t we just hang out and be pals? I miss hanging out with friends enough, now I feel like I’m only valuable if I can help someone out. Kinda bullshit… also WTF?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 I don't even know where to start and I won't get myself started any further. It's all my own responsibility to change things for my own good, but... I don't even know where to start. And I don't want to. This is all so ugly. Disgusting to look at. Reality, life etc. Even when there is some beauty it is surrounded by a lot of ugliness. Why isn't everything beautiful? This place is making me cringe. This whole city. It's not the good kind of ugly, it's the disgusting kind. I need a lot of money as soon as possible. Don't know how, though (yet). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Member Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Sell your threads as NFTs 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 bitch I'm Soulja Boy TellEm and you know I'm getting guap 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 I want to be a better person. I want to be more healthy. I want to be more evolved. I want to be more intelligent. I want to be less ignorant. I want to be more tolerant. I want to be more open minded. I want to be less judgmental. I want my life to be more organised. I want my life to be more interesting. And I don't know how. How how how how... I feel like nobody can give me an answer that I want to hear. There is no easy way, unless there is. Who knows? I just want to be strong enough to do my own thing. I want to be brave. And I want to be proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself. This day has been quite good. I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I want to be proud of myself. I am so much better than I thought I was. I have been so much more than I ever knew I could be. And now I'm feeling that all progress was for nothing and I'm not even going to make it. Whatever that means. My life sucks so bad. I really don't know how to make things better. It just doesn't work. I try and try and try... and I get nowhere. I'm not satisfied with myself, life, people, everything. My brain is so full of shit and I can't get it out. I hate this so much. I feel like I'm made of shit and I'm surrounded by shit. I want to die. I wish I was a baby again. Everything was so much easier then. Who the fuck do I think I am? I can't even converse in universe - the universal language I am programmed to fail, and the biggest fail is not trying. I succeed at failing all the time. It’s not hard being a loser. When I try I fail, when I don't try, interesting things happen. So I stop trying and everything turns golden (well, sometimes...). I just finished a very long ride on my bike. I think I have been riding the bike for 12 hours and it was aesthetic as fuck, the music, the landscape, but also kind of pointless, which was the point, I guess. No goal, just flow etc. I need better clothing. I need better sunglasses. I need contact lenses, I need a better bike and better bike lock. I need to stop looking like a dip shit. I need to stop being a dip shit. I need to stop being such a dip shit. I need to stop being such a dipshit. I need to stop being such a dipshit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enthusiast Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Well you've come to the right place 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milkface Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 ASTROBRITE TOOK CRUSH OFF OF SPOTIFY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thefxbip Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 (edited) 19 hours ago, Wunderbar said: Anyone here into paintings drawings etc? That can tell me if there is been any art of that category released as of late that will probably be remembered in the future? Or is heavenly respected in that world. I feel like whenever people talk about that kind of stuff they always talk about guys that are long dead. Living painters i love (and that are all pretty famous/recognized): Frank Auerbach David Hockney Gerhard Richter Daniel Richter Cecily Brown Celia Paul Mark Bradford Anselm Kiefer Adrian Ghenie Peter Doig Pierre Soulages Tony Bevan John Virtue Paula Rego Some famous ones only died recently: Lucian Freud, Louise Bourgeois, Leon Kossoff for example. Edited June 11, 2021 by thefxbip 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 I can't fuck because I don't wana fuck. I'm shitting rn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambermonk Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 My debit card got charged four times yesterday for lunch at a Filipino food truck I go to during work on Fridays. It was partly my fault though, because I repeatedly inserted my card into the card reader thinking it wasn't going thru, because it was out of receipt paper. The girl working there didn't seem to know how to fix it either. I left them a message under the guise of a review, hoping there's a way to void three of the charges. Nothing fraudulent, but still. I should've left that janky-ass card reader alone after the first swipe. Hope I hear something back from them soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drillkicker Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 I drove back to my hometown to visit friends and now my car is broken down and I'm stuck here. I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday. I'm kinda hoping I don't make it just because I'm feeling self destructive right now. I want to ruin everything I have so I can finally quit trying to be happy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ooqpoo Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 hang in there bud, sleep is good. then you have a whole day tomorrow to chill n' feel thangs out. sunday evening you will know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 1 hour ago, drillkicker said: I drove back to my hometown to visit friends and now my car is broken down and I'm stuck here. I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday. I'm kinda hoping I don't make it just because I'm feeling self destructive right now. I want to ruin everything I have so I can finally quit trying to be happy. This is how you do it. Stop the hustle, give up your dreams and die. When you are dead, things will be better. But maybe you already are dead and just don't know it. Anyway, existence is constantly changing, whether you are dead or not, so you needn't to pursue any kind of safety for yourself, it only gets you stuck at where you already are. Safety and hope are the enemy. Any kind of safety is illusional, any kind of hope only gets you stuck with certain ideas that will never work out the way you plan them. So, you need to be a little bit crazy, you need to be a little bit stupid, you need to be a little bit dumb. You need to be a little bit childish. You need to be a little bit ignorant (you don't really know anything anyway). You need to be a little bit uneducated. You need to be a little bit stupid. You need to be a little bit irresponsible. You are naive if you think that your plans will work out as you imagined. You are naive if you think that you can make it happen. You are naive if you think that you can make yourself happy. You are naive if you think that you can make yourself free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 This is no cynicism, this is reality. Don't despair, don't hope, don't pursue. Just be. Let go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 12 hours ago, dingformung said: I can't fuck because because I don't wana fuck. I'm shitting rn beautiful haiku 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, drillkicker said: I drove back to my hometown to visit friends and now my car is broken down and I'm stuck here. I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday. I'm kinda hoping I don't make it just because I'm feeling self destructive right now. I want to ruin everything I have so I can finally quit trying to be happy. This is the way to do it. Let go of your dreams and goals, because they are not real. Give up your hopes and dreams, because they are not real. Give up your desires and wishes, because they are not real. Don't do anything, because you can't do anything. Don't try to change things, because you can't change anything. Don't try to make things better, because you can't make anything better. Don't try to make things worse, because you can't make anything worse. Don't try to do anything at all, because you can't do anything at all. Practice non-doing. When you do this, you are already dead. When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering. Edited June 12, 2021 by dingformung Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 Repeat the following mantra every "day": "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering.” "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering. “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering.” "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering.” "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering.” "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." Okay, this is kind of cynic, but it's true: "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." “When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." "When you are dead, you are free of life which is the source of all suffering." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 whenever western buddhists start talkin about life being pure suffering i feel like that one newspaper clipping of a wwii vet saying "ah well i had a great time in the war, actually. got to fly an airplane, went to france, killed 50 dudes" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 12, 2021 Share Posted June 12, 2021 Life is war. Life is killing. Life is pain. So what? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You want to be happy? You have no life, so you have no suffering. You don't do anything, so you can't do anything wrong. You are dead to the world of your own making and to all other worlds too. You are dead to all things. Being dead, you live in the absolute calm of Nirvana where there is nothing at all that can disturb your peace or upset your balance or throw off your center or make you react with aversion or attachment or fear or anger. You are dead to your own desires and wishes and fears and hopes. You don't do anything, so you can't be disappointed or frustrated. You are dead to all desires, so you have no desire that can cause suffering in your life. When you do nothing, you are already dead, which is the only way out of life which is the source of all suffering. This is what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cryptowen Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 6 minutes ago, dingformung said: Being dead, you live in the absolute calm of Nirvana where there is nothing at all that can disturb your peace or upset your balance or throw off your center or make you react with aversion or attachment or fear or anger. You are dead to your own desires and wishes and fears and hopes. You don't do anything, so you can't be disappointed or frustrated. You are dead to all desires, so you have no desire that can cause suffering in your life. Spoiler 2010s buddhism is a psyop to make people complacent with corporate takeover of all things 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ignatius Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 (edited) at some point i'll have to go back to work. i don't want to go back to work. can we just tax bezos so i can get that UBI and do minimal work until the end? Edited June 13, 2021 by ignatius 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 Wanna go to Berlin, ride the bike there (this city has a nice atmosphere and you can meet many different kinds of people), but I did so much cycling lately that my legs need to recover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KovalainenFanBoy Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 been a while since the last WATMM mental breakdown 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingformung Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 found a nice spot on the river and thinking about eating a good handful of magic mushrooms but i kinda have to shit I need to take a really wet shit Regret bringing my bike Saw some people but had nothing to say except hi I always have a lighter, it's a good thing to have with you I don't need anything. I am content Gonna type something into the WATMM is what I thought And I did (This is a poem) I'm slowly going insane, tho... is this normal???? What is why Why is what WUNDERBAR SUN IS SHYNING I like my shoes I'm in love with the voice from spoddify this is a really shiddy place to ride the bike..needa move on.... and on... and on... needa RUN!!!! but slowly... nowhere to go tho. into the woods then i guess??? no disrespect meant i am shy hehe sorry/sorry/sorry i want communism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cichlisuite Posted June 13, 2021 Share Posted June 13, 2021 1 hour ago, dingformung said: found a nice spot on the river and thinking about eating a good handful of magic mushrooms but i kinda have to shit go into a bush, then wash in the river dude it's summer don't be so überkoolische, take a stroll with Alice on the riverbanks, explore the undergrowth, climb a tree and sing some pavarotti, ride the whirlwind, then discuss how all matter is condensed to a slow vibration etc with a random grandpa sitting in the park, live laugh love 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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