Post terrible idea for films

[ambermonk]

Trumpty Dumpty built a Great Wall. Trumpty Dumpty had a Great Fall.

All the King's horses, and all the King's men citizens

pointed and laughed at his fat stupid ass splattered all over the ground.

(title pending)

[Lada Laika]

minority report reboot where orgasms are illegal. opens with tom cruise frantically trying to figure out the location of a guy jacking off to hentai. "it's a basement. i don't think it's his. it's his mom's." a title card tells us this is the department of precum.

I would hate to be one of those precogs... would the pool be cum instead of water? yeesh

[usagi]

 

minority report reboot where orgasms are illegal. opens with tom cruise frantically trying to figure out the location of a guy jacking off to hentai. "it's a basement. i don't think it's his. it's his mom's." a title card tells us this is the department of precum.

I would hate to be one of those precogs... would the pool be cum instead of water? yeesh

 

tagline: Everybody Cums

[Lada Laika]

 

 

minority report reboot where orgasms are illegal. opens with tom cruise frantically trying to figure out the location of a guy jacking off to hentai. "it's a basement. i don't think it's his. it's his mom's." a title card tells us this is the department of precum.

I would hate to be one of those precogs... would the pool be cum instead of water? yeesh

tagline: Everybody Cums

 

[ghOsty]

being john krasinski...

[auxien]

IT (2019)

 

A remake of the classic Stephen King story, but instead of the clown it's an I.T. guy who does and says I.T. things.

 

spoopy/rides the nerd culture wave to full crest. give me a million dollars, I'll have a treatment on your doorstep within the week.

[patternoverlap]

Crow's Nest

 

Biopic following Russel Crowe as he drops the e from his last name and fulfills his lifelong dream of living as a human/crow hybrid. Watch as he undergoes expensive surgery to have feathers and wings implanted on his body, connects with otherkin of similar persuasions, and ultimately builds a giant nest compound in thr Hollywood hills to escape the persecution of a society that will never understand his struggle.

[Joyrex]

Rampage (based on the video game) Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson:

 

The first privately owned space station is destroyed by a mysterious experiment done onboard. Three canisters from the crash land on Earth. One lands in the gorilla enclosure at the San Diego Zoo, the other in the plains of Wyoming and the last one in the Florida Everglades. The Griffin Technologies Group, headed by two siblings (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy), tries to destroy any evidence of wrongdoing before the government finds out. It’s too late because the canisters have infected a gorilla named George, a wolf in Wyoming and an alligator. They start evolving and growing exponentially. To cover their track, the Griffin idiots decided to unleash a beacon that will make all three large animals head toward one destination: their head office located in the Willis Tower in Chicago.

 

Yes, you’ve read that right! A giant gorilla, a humongous alligator and large wolf are going to kick each other’s asses in Chicago.

 

Wait a minute, what about Dwayne Johnson’s character? Well, he’s an ex-marine who’s now a primatologist (of course he is) that raised George at the San Diego Zoo. He taught the ape sign language, and they share a special bond. Naomie Harris might have picked the worst project in history to follow-up a well-deserved Oscar-nominated performance. The Moonlight actress plays a fired Griffin Tech scientist who helps our protagonist in trying to stop Chicago from being destroyed by those humongous beasts.

 

Synopsis taken from: http://splashreport.com/rampage-video-game-movie-story-details/

[BCM]

sounds fucking brilliant

[BoomTssPhace]

Russel Crowe as he drops the e

[Soloman Tump]

 

 

 

minority report reboot where orgasms are illegal. opens with tom cruise frantically trying to figure out the location of a guy jacking off to hentai. "it's a basement. i don't think it's his. it's his mom's." a title card tells us this is the department of precum.

I would hate to be one of those precogs... would the pool be cum instead of water? yeesh

tagline: Everybody Cums

 

 

 

Agatha, pls

[ambermonk]

 

Rampage (based on the video game) Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson:

 

The first privately owned space station is destroyed by a mysterious experiment done onboard. Three canisters from the crash land on Earth. One lands in the gorilla enclosure at the San Diego Zoo, the other in the plains of Wyoming and the last one in the Florida Everglades. The Griffin Technologies Group, headed by two siblings (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy), tries to destroy any evidence of wrongdoing before the government finds out. It’s too late because the canisters have infected a gorilla named George, a wolf in Wyoming and an alligator. They start evolving and growing exponentially. To cover their track, the Griffin idiots decided to unleash a beacon that will make all three large animals head toward one destination: their head office located in the Willis Tower in Chicago.

 

Yes, you’ve read that right! A giant gorilla, a humongous alligator and large wolf are going to kick each other’s asses in Chicago.

 

Wait a minute, what about Dwayne Johnson’s character? Well, he’s an ex-marine who’s now a primatologist (of course he is) that raised George at the San Diego Zoo. He taught the ape sign language, and they share a special bond. Naomie Harris might have picked the worst project in history to follow-up a well-deserved Oscar-nominated performance. The Moonlight actress plays a fired Griffin Tech scientist who helps our protagonist in trying to stop Chicago from being destroyed by those humongous beasts.

 

Synopsis taken from: http://splashreport.com/rampage-video-game-movie-story-details/

 

Having played Rampage (not just N64 but also the NES one), this sounds pretty dope

[Sally Vingoe]

(500) days of summer.
set in the year 2120, when global warming has forced the remaining survivors to antarctica, now a desertscape.
summer, a plucky mutant...

[usagi]

500 Gays of Summer.

 

500 gay dudes on an island in the middle of fun season: what's going to happen?

[dr lopez]

You've Got Fail - A struggling forum moderator (name withheld upon request) hates the popularity and success of a similar moderator and his copycat forum. When the two meet waiting in line for the newest nintendo product however, they begin an intense and confusing homosocial relationship, oblivious of each other's true internet identity. Eventually the mod learns that the enchanting man he's involved with is actually his business rival. He must now struggle to reconcile his cyber-hate with the passionate, entirely non-sexual love he's come to feel.

Edited May 7, 2017 by dr lopez

[Lada Laika]

500 Gays of Summer.

 

500 gay dudes on an island in the middle of fun season: what's going to happen?

Boat Trip 2?

[keanu reeves]

for the record

 

a flemish monastic scribe toils to transcribe in illuminated manuscript what he believes is the word of god. his faith begins to waiver when he learns from a secular scribe that the records they keep are all interactions between people on internet forums in the far future, clarifying their opinions on subjects from batman v superman to lena dunham. the film ends with him pleading to an absent god while transcribing the words "i never said anime isn't art."

Edited May 7, 2017 by keanu reeves

[marf]

Replace CG in newer films with older 90's CG in a throwback fashion. A sort of retro experience

[MadameChaos]

Everybody Loves Raymond

 

A movie based on the popular TV series of the same name, where he somehow ends up banging every single character in the show. Warning, some scenes in the film may cause disorientation, projectile vomiting, sudden madness and carpel tunnel syndrome.

 

Sent from my 5022X using Tapatalk

[Nebraska]

https://youtu.be/2IEIhU71fVY

 

did someone already submit this idea on this thread? 

[ambermonk]

Fecopalypse II

A neo-Nazi throws poop at a counter-protester during an alt-right rally in Buttfuckville. Then counter-protesters hurl poop back at the neo-Nazis. Then a UFO hovers overhead, as everyone stops what they are doing for about ten seconds to gaze up at the UFO. Then the UFO diahrreas on the whole city, and announces in an alien language over a megaphone what a bunch of dumbshits humans are.

Edited August 25, 2017 by ambermonk

[Lada Laika]

Bladerunner 2049

 

Plus we cast Jared Leto

[zaphod]

https://youtu.be/2IEIhU71fVY

 

did someone already submit this idea on this thread? 

 

oh my god

[Silent Member]

oh my god

[hello spiral]

Fuck me

 

/thread