Coronavirus COVID-19

[kakapo]

Got some insider info from a friend at Tommies.  BJ has been moved to the icu not for covid-19, but because he's gay.  They're going to run some further tests to make sure, but likely a constitutional crisis.  With the UK's constitution being unwritten it's complicated, but it looks like Corbyn becomes the Queen as long as he can get at least a 2/3rds majority of druids in the House of Lords to demote her majesty, which pundits reckon he's got.  He would then be in a position to appoint a new prime minister, likely himself, which would mean unlimited power.  The supreme court would be able to stop him, but it's not allowed to sit again before Glastonbury festival, which has obviously been cancelled.  This is how democracy dies, not with a bang but a cough.         

[Hugh Mughnus]

Borat joeson is in icu now 

[Zephyr_Nova]

New Borat movie out now.

[Hugh Mughnus]

Jak sie masz 

Edited April 7, 2020 by Hugh Mughnus

[kakapo]

You're probably wondering why Keir Starmer doesn't get first go at demoting the Queen as he is the current leader of the opposition.  It's a leap year and Corbyn was still in place on the 29th February.  See the 1378 Treaty of Ghent between Scotland and China for precedent.  There's been talk of hosting an emergency Glastonbury Festival in the Houses of Parliament itself, but the 3 Great Offices of State would be required to headline.  Rishi Sunak is well up for it, Dominic Raab is conditional on him being allowed to perform Standing in the Way of Control by Gossip, but Priti Patel is a definite no.

[YEK]

I'm sad because he's Trump's brother. I am sad for Trump.  

[Roo]

Meanwhile Cardinal George Pell quietly has his child sexual abuse convictions overturned in empty courts, released from prison today. More sickening than Covid-19.

[Roo]

Must suck to be a lab animal right now. They probably look like a hardcore heroin addict right now. CSIRO currently testing overseas-developed vaccines on ferrets (given their lung cellular similarities to humans).

[Roo]

A couple days ago University of Indonesia projected 240,000 deaths for them by end of April (currently past 200). The population density coupled with poverty in somewhere like Jakarta would be brutal to manage. Estimated to have less than three Intensive Care beds per 100,000 people, and 4 doctors per 10,000 people. Best of luck to them in coming weeks, hope they get on top of it.

[Roo]

Was quietly hoping a random mob of Covid-ridden Italian Papparazzi mobbed Pell on leaving prison. He'll be under voluntary house lockdown in between court appearances for the rest of his non-prison life and probably has a thousand people willing to be his slave errand boys.

Edited April 7, 2020 by Roo

[cwmbrancity]

1 hour ago, kakapo said:

You're probably wondering why Keir Starmer doesn't get first go at demoting the Queen as he is the current leader of the opposition.  It's a leap year and Corbyn was still in place on the 29th February.  See the 1378 Treaty of Ghent between Scotland and China for precedent.  There's been talk of hosting an emergency Glastonbury Festival in the Houses of Parliament itself, but the 3 Great Offices of State would be required to headline.  Rishi Sunak is well up for it, Dominic Raab is conditional on him being allowed to perform Standing in the Way of Control by Gossip, but Priti Patel is a definite no.

along w/Boris =

 

Edited April 7, 2020 by cwmbrancity

[kakapo]

Am now hearing that Priti Patel is willing to perform if the Smiths agree to reunite and be her backing band.  Seems like a long shot, but somebody has already set up a change.org petition.  Be interesting to see if they do Bengali in Platforms.

[kakapo]

Strong rumours of a cross party coalition to try and prevent Corbyn becoming queen and declaring himself Urotsukidoji.  Labour and SNP are on board, Unionists are trying to get a commitment to two Sundays a week.

[kakapo]

Raab has offered to change Tuesday to a 2nd Sunday in Northern Ireland only.  Unionists holding out for an 8 day week across the UK.  Major implications for the Good Friday agreement if we switch back to the pre war 8 day week.

[Hugh Mughnus]

Kak are you drunk hunny 

[Alcofribas]

are you receiving any intel on the state of lilac chinos at this time?

[kakapo]

 

10 minutes ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

Kak are you drunk hunny 

Yes madame, but in the morning I shall be sober

[kakapo]

3 minutes ago, Alcofribas said:

are you receiving any intel on the state of lilac chinos at this time?

UK declined back in February to take part in EU plan to procure lilac chinos.  Contract was instead given to brexit supporting Tim Weatherspoon after he boasted on twitter his pubs would be able to produce 10,000 lilac chinos a month.  We're now in April.  Not a single fucking pair of lilac chinos for our doctors and nurses.

[Hugh Mughnus]

A travesty...truly tragic.

[kakapo]

It's a fucking disgrace, is what it is.

[kakapo]

Friend in civil service in cabinet office.  Just heard what sounded like Dominc Cummings shouting, "what's the fucking point of Tuesday anyway, why do they need to keep fucking Tuesdays?"

[Hugh Mughnus]

I didn’t really think it was optional - I always figured it was like counting upwards, you must count from one to two, can’t skip two and go straight to three can ye? Why Wednesday or Thurs either tbh...? Let’s just alternate Friday/Saturday indefinitely. Fuck the other days of the week.

apparently bojack horseman was moved to icu yesterday btw.

[YEK]

24 minutes ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

I didn’t really think it was optional - I always figured it was like counting upwards, you must count from one to two, can’t skip two and go straight to three can ye? Why Wednesday or Thurs either tbh...? Let’s just alternate Friday/Saturday indefinitely. Fuck the other days of the week.

apparently bojack horseman was moved to icu yesterday btw.

One day work one day rest. I can do this.

[Alcofribas]

46 minutes ago, kakapo said:

UK declined back in February to take part in EU plan to procure lilac chinos.  Contract was instead given to brexit supporting Tim Weatherspoon after he boasted on twitter his pubs would be able to produce 10,000 lilac chinos a month.  We're now in April.  Not a single fucking pair of lilac chinos for our doctors and nurses.

this is devastating news  mods please lock this thread so that we may properly mourn here  

 

[Hugh Mughnus]

Hello, would one of my elders be so kind as to help me understand what are "chinos" and "lilac"?

thx in advance.