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Midlife crisis


kakapo
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panic attack

I'm interested to hear what it is you are worried about in death. When I first started having panic attacks I didn't know what they were and thought I was dying, and I'm still not nececarily sure if they were purely panic attacks (psychosomatic) or drug-related heart flip-the-fuck-outs. Either way, during those I thought I was dying, these were my last breaths, and I was resigned to death.

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I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

Now I've stopped drinking and I'm trying to get her back. My life has become a romantic comedy...

 

I feel this post is relevant because I'm approaching 30 and she's the first girl in 6 years that I feel I could have a lasting relationship with.

 

 

is she the one who came with you to zool?

 

 

Naw, that girl ran off to Boston with some schmuck.

 

 

I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

The trick in my experience is to find someone who'll forgive you for the shitty things you say and do when drunk.

 

Or, in other words: if they can't handle you at your worst, they sure as hell don't deserve you at your best.

 

 

Well, I don't like who I've become when I'm drunk, as well. So it's not really a point of contention. She put up with a whole lot of my shit for long enough to figure out we weren't on a good path and chose to separate. It was a good call. She says she still cares about me a lot, so at least I have that. I think there's a chance for the future.

 

I need to sort out my own shit in the meantime though. This sucks. It kind of feels like I'm picking up the trash after a huge party.

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panic attack

I'm interested to hear what it is you are worried about in death. When I first started having panic attacks I didn't know what they were and thought I was dying, and I'm still not nececarily sure if they were purely panic attacks (psychosomatic) or drug-related heart flip-the-fuck-outs. Either way, during those I thought I was dying, these were my last breaths, and I was resigned to death.

 

what worries anyone about death? the idea that all existence as you know it will eventually cease to be

 

i haven't been able to convince myself of a realistic posthumous existence

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panic attack

I'm interested to hear what it is you are worried about in death. When I first started having panic attacks I didn't know what they were and thought I was dying, and I'm still not nececarily sure if they were purely panic attacks (psychosomatic) or drug-related heart flip-the-fuck-outs. Either way, during those I thought I was dying, these were my last breaths, and I was resigned to death.

 

what worries anyone about death? the idea that all existence as you know it will eventually cease to be

 

i haven't been able to convince myself of a realistic posthumous existence

 

 

how about accepting it for the way it is? without some sort of supernatural mumbo jumbo.

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last night i realized that i don't fear death that much, maybe it's some unconscious belief that the end of the world as we know it is near, comforting me with the fact that i won't loose that much, is this a bad thought?

 

because, if i think that we will evolve more i really feel sad and anxious thinking about the things i will not be able to present... :(

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panic attack

I'm interested to hear what it is you are worried about in death. When I first started having panic attacks I didn't know what they were and thought I was dying, and I'm still not nececarily sure if they were purely panic attacks (psychosomatic) or drug-related heart flip-the-fuck-outs. Either way, during those I thought I was dying, these were my last breaths, and I was resigned to death.

 

what worries anyone about death? the idea that all existence as you know it will eventually cease to be

 

i haven't been able to convince myself of a realistic posthumous existence

 

 

how about accepting it for the way it is? without some sort of supernatural mumbo jumbo.

 

i don't get what you mean. i don't believe in "supernatural mumbo jumbo"

 

the gap between acceptance and understanding is my issue. it is tough to accept something i don't understand.

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This thread is pretty depressing. I still have no idea whether I want kids. Which isn't so bad at my age (30) except my wife is 8 years older so her clock has been going off for a while now. We've talked about it and can't seem to come to a conclusion. We have so many friends that are nice people but are shitty parents with shitty kids. I know it's not my place to judge but the point is that I'm lazy and I have other things I want to do so my kids will probably turn out to be assholes too.

 

I hope all those depressed childless 50+ year olds in that study mentioned earlier were just bland, lifeless, uncreative people who let life crush their dreams. I still wake up almost every morning with fresh ideas. I'm still naive enough to believe I have things to do on this planet before I die besides buying, consuming, shitting, and sleeping.

 

Damn, I'm a judgmental dick. Sorry.

 

And yeah,

 

Midlife crisis? I feel like I've had a daily crisis for the last 30+ years.

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what is there to understand. things which have a beginning also have an end. just place yourself on your mental timeline of the history of the cosmos. it'll be a tiny dot which you'll inhabit. you weren't there for the first billion years, and you won't be there for almost the entire rest of the future. what's there to not understand?

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what is there to understand. things which have a beginning also have an end. just place yourself on your mental timeline of the history of the cosmos. it'll be a tiny dot which you'll inhabit. you weren't there for the first billion years, and you won't be there for almost the entire rest of the future. what's there to not understand?

it is easy to look at objectively and rationally. it is not so easy to actually apply it to my sole vehicle of existence.

 

i typically have a casual "fuck it" type attitude with the same general tone as what i quoted above (especially for my philosopher friends), but this is one thing that i cannot wrap my head around.

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Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

RE: goDel

Kids are a recurring "sticking point" for me as well. Every one of my IRL friends have already squeezed 'em out and, shit, some of the spawn are already dangerously close to high school and that's a mindfuck. But, I take solace in this distinctly Euro world of WATMM where 33 is still a time to wonder about leather jackets and having kids straight out of high school is a uniquely Christian Midwest/inner city past time here in America.

 

The problem is that my wife is having stirrings that could become full-blown baby pangs like your ladyfriend has. However, she is also very suggestible and I easily talk her into the joys of a plentiful bank account, sleeping in on the weekends, drinking heavily at a whim and generally living the ultimate teenage dream as we are at the moment. After a successful squashing of baby talk, I myself become conflicted though. I read an interesting longitudnal study that found much higher levels of life satisfaction in young, childless married couples than their rugrat-shackled contemporaries. This trend reversed after 50--couples with kids reported more life satisfaction than the childless folks. The conclusions are left up to you but the result is the same: early 30's suck because you know you have to pull the trigger on a whole host of heavy topics and there is no going back without a lot of headache and sacrifice. The things you decide now will impact you at the point where you can't decide anymore.

 

Kids are one of those heavy topics but money is as well. The lesson of my parents is bearing down on me lately. They spent like there was no tomorrow but it was hard to see that as a problem because it was always for fun. They never cared about status or keeping up with the Jones' so my sister and I had an extremely indulged childhood that was fucking awesome. Then, I grew up and out of that craven materialism, which is a terrible trap of its own. My parents make great money now but they can't stop. A lot of that spending was done on Greenspan's get-rich-quick plan of home equity loans and the easy credit of the 90's so now they have a buttfucking huge mortgage when house prices are beyond tanked. They are close to fixing the mess but what does it profit a person to be at 0 when they're closing in on 70? Sometimes they have a desperate voice on the phone like prisoners in a Russian work camp when they say "start saving now! we're so tired but we're stuck!" My dad also gave me a grim warning. I was telling him how fast time seems to go now that I'm older. A year is like a month to my 10 year old self. He said that when he turned 40, it was like 60 was waiting for him the next morning. Life is apparently like Wonka's boat ride.

 

The midlife crisis may be midlife if I only make it to 66 but this is much more of a "death of adolescence" thing for me. It sucks that everything doesn't "pop" like it used to: drugs, music, sex, girls, friends, ideas, etc. The 30's are a funkiller--this much is true.

 

 

 

 

*starts drinking*

 

 

fucking hell.

 

*starts drinking too*

 

 

*takes bottle of sleeping pills*

 

 

*masturbates furiously but can't finish*

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What have you people done to my thread? I'm not unhappy. This was not a thread about unhappiness or death.

 

i'm 38 and haven't ever owned a leather jacket before. can we see a pic of the jacket in question if possible? definite mine field.

 

were you prone to angst in your teens/developmental years kakapo? anyway, i enjoyed reaching that age where you just don't give a shit about peer pressure and societal expectations (for me this happened in my mid to late 20's). although saying that, since having a kid i'm under pressure (mostly from myself) to provide the best i possibly can for my family. having kids is amazing btw. a female's body clock/baby alarm goes off like big ben a minute past 30 years. unlike us dads who have to learn and adapt, it's a biological instinct for them to NEED children as well as the actual everyday 'being a mother' part.

 

ML056B-5-1.jpg

 

Yes, I was an angst ridden teenager.

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I hope all those depressed childless 50+ year olds in that study mentioned earlier were just bland, lifeless, uncreative people who let life society crush their dreams.

 

 

Well that and having to work for a living. Which I guess is part of your definition (or maybe the dictionary definition?) of society. But I think of society as just the collective of people in civilization participating in the economy. I don't think it's the that drags me down as much as spending a huge portion of my waking life doing things I don't love to do. I don't hate the player, I hate the game.
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Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

RE: goDel

Kids are a recurring "sticking point" for me as well. Every one of my IRL friends have already squeezed 'em out and, shit, some of the spawn are already dangerously close to high school and that's a mindfuck. But, I take solace in this distinctly Euro world of WATMM where 33 is still a time to wonder about leather jackets and having kids straight out of high school is a uniquely Christian Midwest/inner city past time here in America.

 

The problem is that my wife is having stirrings that could become full-blown baby pangs like your ladyfriend has. However, she is also very suggestible and I easily talk her into the joys of a plentiful bank account, sleeping in on the weekends, drinking heavily at a whim and generally living the ultimate teenage dream as we are at the moment. After a successful squashing of baby talk, I myself become conflicted though. I read an interesting longitudnal study that found much higher levels of life satisfaction in young, childless married couples than their rugrat-shackled contemporaries. This trend reversed after 50--couples with kids reported more life satisfaction than the childless folks. The conclusions are left up to you but the result is the same: early 30's suck because you know you have to pull the trigger on a whole host of heavy topics and there is no going back without a lot of headache and sacrifice. The things you decide now will impact you at the point where you can't decide anymore.

 

Kids are one of those heavy topics but money is as well. The lesson of my parents is bearing down on me lately. They spent like there was no tomorrow but it was hard to see that as a problem because it was always for fun. They never cared about status or keeping up with the Jones' so my sister and I had an extremely indulged childhood that was fucking awesome. Then, I grew up and out of that craven materialism, which is a terrible trap of its own. My parents make great money now but they can't stop. A lot of that spending was done on Greenspan's get-rich-quick plan of home equity loans and the easy credit of the 90's so now they have a buttfucking huge mortgage when house prices are beyond tanked. They are close to fixing the mess but what does it profit a person to be at 0 when they're closing in on 70? Sometimes they have a desperate voice on the phone like prisoners in a Russian work camp when they say "start saving now! we're so tired but we're stuck!" My dad also gave me a grim warning. I was telling him how fast time seems to go now that I'm older. A year is like a month to my 10 year old self. He said that when he turned 40, it was like 60 was waiting for him the next morning. Life is apparently like Wonka's boat ride.

 

The midlife crisis may be midlife if I only make it to 66 but this is much more of a "death of adolescence" thing for me. It sucks that everything doesn't "pop" like it used to: drugs, music, sex, girls, friends, ideas, etc. The 30's are a funkiller--this much is true.

 

 

you're overthinking it. you would be such an awesome dad. have babies!

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